Yuzedo wetin you use charm nl'ers cos they find ur write-ups funny but I don't oooo honestly speaking

menxer:
Years back before Naija dreamed of GSM, One girl wey I dey toast told me, "If u are serious come and visit me in my village". Na so I mumuishly find my way from PH go the last bus stop in Ubakala, with no address except her first name, Ugadinma (apologies if I get the spelling wrong).

from the bus stop I befriended the guys there with enough palm wine, and the search took off in ernest.

3 girls in the village matched the description with the same name I gave and off we went to check them out one by one. But they all turn out not to be the girl.

At the last palm wine joint as I prepare to call off the search, as it was about 6pm, a guy walked in that happened to be a cousin to the girl I was looking for; as a job man, the guy asked for his fair share of palm wine and pepper soup before taking me where I want.

The funny thing was, the girl's house was right opposite the joint and she was outside.

damn hilarious

this girl mumu pass 10 Mr ibu.. i understand she's trying to make fans laugh. may she come make I phock her. twil make me feel hpy not that rubbish she needs to grow up

ChappyChase:

I no sure whether I go apply for Unn again oo, but Thanks though...

my man UNN still gives admission on merit. i scored 302 $ i was admitted. the least score in our dept(law) is 295. work harder next time if you wish to be admitted into our prestigious uni

congrats to her... I will be called up someday day too

miszeno:
I am a level 200 student in a school here in Nigeria. I went to check our results for last semester, and she was withdrawn because she failed about eight courses. Came back today, she asked me about it, I told her she passed although I didn't tell her I saw it, just told her the lecturer said so, now she's happy and celebrating, not knowing she has been withdrawn, am restless, I feel pity for her, should I tell her the truth or just pretend all is well.

you shouldn't have lied to her..if I had seen you ryt now i'd have broken yr head wit d coke bottle im holding, so u will feel thesame pain she'd be feeling when she notices u fibbed. pitching pigeon.

Kitme:
AAUA..first list tho'

congrat.. eng not bad tho

Kitme:
I chose Law, was given English studies.
All is well. #Na Godwin

which sch. I applied for law & I still got it

MISSNORA:
I rarely reply this kinda mentions buh lemme give u some lessons. I dont blame u cuz u haven't bn with a new struggling artist or help promoting someone. Do u remember pSquares first album? The time they looked malnourished? They beg and even pay for radio and TV stations to air their music. Now Soundcity has bn doing that for free... Playing them everyday... Making them more famous. Now they pSquare are made. And Soundcity requested they do just a show for them, they started requesting money which shocked Soundcity... I don't know bout you, buh my mum taught me to always be thankful and grateful to anyone who helped me on my way up.... Be appreciative...

white lie...their good music created a niche for them in the industry not soundcity or an foolish gold digging station

EggovinMma:


Weda I earn 1kobo,YOU GUYS NEED TO OPEN UP ON HOW MUCH YOU EARN
STINGY PEOPLE.

lazy biitch...to make dough ain't easy

Jenny1010:

Guys are known to be open-minded and don't hesitate to give a simple, straight and direct answer to questions.. But, I still wonder why they go totally blank and sometimes furious when a girl ask them this one simple questions.


1. How much do you collect as salary every month?

jus look d guy faze b4 u yan dis ur quxtn, if na me u ask I go use blow scata ur face then u go see hw much I d earn wen u faint

Mcowubaba:
m in a gud mood, so i wouldn't be offended by ur insult...
I care less abt Yemi or Tiwa, i don't listen to both of them,..i don't give a damn abt their muisc..I m only stating facts...which is Street music makes more hit than Classic songs in Nigeria.. U can choose to live in denial, that's ur cup of tea...truth remains....all the classic hits u even listed are over 5 yrs old ...so no classic hit since then , while in a single year we can have over 15 hit songs (street oriented)....
Name 3 classic HIT songs this year, i will name over 10 street songs banging all over Nigeria now...
...keep deceiving urself.. Believe me, when it comes to Nigerian/African music demand, sell nd likes u dey learn work...i don retire for d game..i dey foreign hip hop, rock, pop now!!..... Who in his right senses will say Classic songs sells more than street music in NIGERIA...HABA ..i taya ooo...
Gud day sir...

160,000,000 peeps endorse ur post.. spot on!

MISSNORA:
More like comparing Rihanna to Beyonce...well in the fullness of time I MISSNORA would dethrone Alade.
MissNora ft Airforce1 - Tender heart.
MissNora ft Kossyablaze - When I'm down
MissNora ft Introvert - Love my boo

that list is preposterous without d mention of Missnora ft dplomaticval - munching my boobs & fingerin my petite poosi

Barram:
sorry sir. I couldn't make out what you meant.


If you have prblm with the provided collacteral. I can bring something else.

Thanks.

it cnt work bro i no da abj. besides thas my las cad I postd dia

Barram:
Hello nairalanders.

Please i need your help with loan of N150,000.

I am facing some tough challanges and desperately need your help.
I am ready to deposit my birth,state of origin, school certificates and an infinix pad,has collacteral.

Till 3months when I will pay back with interest rate of 15%.

You can come to know my place of residence and even my family for benefit of doubt.

I live in abuja.

Contact me with the following:

PHONE:0810-6925-962

BBM:26DF3756

PLEASE NOTE: this is strictly business. If I don't repay in 3months time. Your 15% interest rate will increase to 50%. I set this standard,because I keep to my words.

waitn u wan uz am do

kestolove95:
Hear d manager name..mr dotun..God safe u sai na yoruba man...if to sai na igbo man...I die if u go even see 500K...ibos and 419 b like car and petrol

na waa 4u...that yoruba man u mentioned doesn't own 1960 bet he's only a branch manager. the real owners might be ibos

Iamsynord:
Do you Want to have a Good Laugh by listening to Nigerian Music.??
These Artistes are the ones you should listen to.i guaranteed you will definitely smile after Listening to one or two of their tracks.

1) Seriki - The former alapomeji act and Indigenous rapper is one of the most hilarious Rappers in the industry.One may have no choice than to giggle at one or two lines of any of his Tracks.
Lines Like " Money speaking keep quiet.now am eating balanced diet. I have killed chicken. The intestine is in the kitchen .

2) Falz- The Lawyer Turn Rapper is known for his hilarious Skits which as come to bear in his style of music and delivery.With a deliberately funny accent and hilarious lines,you will definately have a good laugh
Listening to tracks like Marry Me.Ello Bae.jamb question remix and Karishika.

3) Vic O - The Self acclaimed King of Rap coincidentally is also a Comedian. So one may not surprised he incorporated comedy into his Style of Rap and Lyrics. " I killed the beat and Cook it for my fans to eat " ..Tracks like After Party .Meek Mill / Drake and many other tracks will surely make u roll on d ground with laughter.

4) Dbanj - Since His Departure from Mo hits.Dbanj has become funnier and More hilarious with his Music. .With lines like " Ma gbe coast to coast..and dont tell me you want to eat nandos "..
I show am d Koko she show me the Rodo .Shoprite no be leventis..Dbanj had always Stated he was an entertainer and not a musician.


5) Mr Raw - Mr Raw Nwane. .one of The Pioneers of Igbo indigeous Rapper is another rapper ,you cant do without smiling and even laughing at most of his Lyrics.With well delivered lines and Witty lyrics, Mr Raw Lines are relaxed.Well delivered and Sure to keep you entertained from tracks like obodo,spiritual conji etc

Notables

Sina Rambo
All nollywood actresses and actors turned singers.

phino folo

we burnt 3 orange thievs in my street today. those guys are very very very fortunate they didn't try this SHIIT in àba

pes 2014, dead to right, gta vice city, winning eleven, wwe, hero. those ppsspp android games rock.

raayah:
6 places where women can find good husband material:

1) At the club: You know its mostly single men that are partying at night. Its a good place to catch single men. If you are into rich guys, look at the drinks the guys are buying.

2) At birthday/wedding/burial party: Go to any party you can find. A lot of men come there and you can catch a single man.

3) At the mechanic: This is the best time to buy a car ladies. If you are running low on supplies, you can also just pretend your car is spoilt on the road and watch the men flow.

4) At the market: Married men are not going to be shopping. So any man at the market is up for grabs.

5) online: My personal favorite. You can get to pick and select them, the way you want. Chose by height, weight and race etc..

6) Ex-boyfriends : Feel free to date your exes or your friends ex. As long as they are single

mad girl..those points stink

I found myself in this messy situation last wk wednesday, my friend & I had a fisticuff with broken bottle & knife. I thankgod no one died just gargantuan injuries. rip to the deceased

MissSlimbody:
I heard her scream "Kill it" kill it" I jumped out thinking it was a snake.
(I don promise Jacabi say I must kill snake )

When I got the scene of the commotion, I met the corpse of a Grass Cutter lying on the floor




4bobo meat don set o

Tosyne2much come come chop Rat, sorry grass cutter

Kingtom wa je okete

Mizmycoli Bia ri Oke-ofia

dt lips in ur mawt is 2big... is it urs alone

SUGARBEE:
I hate all of neyo's songs...

the guy croons good musics.. maybe u love playing rubbish

Themonster:

Nope i won't kill you I'll fork you in the assss

no dont 4ck her boy..her stupidity is infectious. kill d brain dead pig instead

no need of watching since it won't make the blind bloke regain his sight

.

HopeAtHand:
When a Nigerian university becomes number 1 in Africa, you let me know.

If my son took 8th in his class, even if there are a million students in his class, i'd not be impressed.

ur mean bro...so even if u don't pay his fees on time and also don't buy him necessary textbooks u'd be dissatisfied wit his result. u bad gan