₦airaland Forum

this one long wellwell o
corruptology the study of corruption

zodiac

Damn hilarious

Sorry to burst your bubble peepz,but isn't this a very old joke?

I understand ademiller jo.
Her advert is not serious,it's just a joke.(She's pulling our legs)
This is the joke section,isn't it?

Lord,please turn every sorrow in my life to joy.
Help me to shine your light around me and above all,help me to be a better christian.

This guy has one of the most impressive goal scoring records in Europe.
He is Spain's all-time leading goal-scorer,he is the Champions League all-time leading goal scorer and he is Real Madrid's 2nd all-time goal scorer.
Granted,he had a couple of bad seasons when he didn't score 20 goals in 3 seasons,but just looking at him this season inspires confidence in the Madrid faithfuls.
He can't run,he can't dribble,he can't shoot exceptionally well;but this guy has such a great awareness on the pitch and according to one of the game's greats(Sir Bobby Charlton),he knows where the post is.
I think he has done more than enough this season to merit a place in Luis Aragones' squad.

After all,on current form,he is far better than the hyped David Villa of Valencia

If you guys have been watching football as much as I have been(all leagues), then the answer isn't so difficult.
Undoubtedly,the numero uno of goalkeeping is Iker Casillas.
The guy's reflexes are second to none and he has on more than one occasion single handedly won matches for Los Meringues.
He's been in top flight for 8 years & he's only just 26(in goalkeeping terms,thats like 17)
Nna men,the guy too much

That was so hilarious,I have a face splitting grin on my face right now

Na wah oooo
People no even dey fear God again.
Don't bother about people filing those your vacancies,you can have them all to yourself.

What a pity

i taya 4 pple jo.
Whats so hard to understand about the joke.
E funny die jo

peaceful

Chai,man pikin don suffer for this nairaland.
Death and sleep no be the same oooo.
Ini edo,if u know the person wey start this thread,tell the person to [size=8pt]STOP[/size]
Beg the person to allow your cafreer take off before e crashland.
A word is enough for the wise

@ slimsikiru

Quite simple. At the time the farmer buried the president,the man wasn't dead

One day in the garden of Eden,Eve calls out to God. "Lord,I have a problem!""Whats the problem,Eve?" "Lord,I know you've created me and have provided this wonderful garden and all of these wonderful animals,and that hilarious comedic snake,but \i'm just not happy" "Why is that,Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord,I am lonely abd I am sick to death of apples" "Well,Eve,in that case,I have a solution,I shall create a man for you" "Whats a 'man' Lord?" "This amn will be a flawed creature,with mant bad traits.He'll lie,cheat and be vainglorious;all in all,he'll give you a hard time.But he'll be bigger,faster and will like to hunt and kill things.He will look silly aroused,but since you've been complaining,I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your , ah , physical needs. He'll be witless and revel in childish things such as fighting and kicking a ball about.He won't be too smart,so he'll need your advice to think properly." "Sounds great," says Eve,with an ironically raised eyebrow. "Whats the catch Lord?" "As I said,he'll be proud,arrogant and self-admiring, So you'll have to let him believe i created him first.So just remember, it's our secret, Woman-to-woman!!"

Airforce One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken,the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force.When they got there,the wreckage was clear.The aircraft was totally destroyed,with only a burned smoldering hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.Secret Service descended upon the the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the president's staff.To their amazement,a lone farmer was plowing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened.They hurried over to surround the man's tractor."Sir"the senior Secret Service agent asked panting and out of breath "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep,sure did."the man muttered unconcernedly. "Do you realize that is the president of the United States airplane?" "Yep" "Were there any survivors?" the agent gasped. "Nope. They's all kilt straight out".The farmer sighed cutting off his tractor motor. "I done buried them myself.Took most of the morning." "The president of the United States is dead?" The agent gulped in disbelief. "Yep,he kept saying he wasn't , but you know what a liar he is"

@ info
I don't know if the guy's a yoruba man ooooo

@ crazykid
hmmn wetin?

1. Insult upon injury
>2. Nonsense and Ingredient
>3. If i sound u ehh, I will soon slap you
>4. How Far?
>5. Can i see your particulars?
>6. Anything for me sir?
>7. Are you mad?
>8. Half-caste
>9. Next tomorrow
>10. Make i come block you dia
>11. Lie, Lie
>12. See me see trouble oh
>13. Shift for me, lemme sit
>14. abeg vamus
>15. nonsense say wetin happen
>16. Abomination
>17. Over my dead body
>18. God forbid bad thing
>19. I need to retouch my hair
>20. all words with 'bloody' eg bloody fool, bloody liar
>21. Na wa oooo
>22. Tell me something
>23. Why do you want to know my name?
>24. I beg joo
>25. Can u imagine,
>26. wonders shall never end,
>27. Tofiakwa
>28. Chei, Kai
>29. Oya
>30. Hold on I want to branch somewhere
>31. Come and Escort Me
>32. Stop at that junction over there
>33. Borrow me your pen/biro
>34. Still yet
>35. Me and you will enter the same trouser
>36. You are so annoying
>37. Why? Because Y has a long tail and branches
>38. What is the time? Quarter To buy your own
>39. Effico
>40. ITK- I too know
>41. Muumu
>42. How are you? 'We're managing'
>43. and so what?
>44. I want some assorted biscuits eg Rich tea, Digestive
>45. Your face look familiar
>46. You are so daft
>47. NFA- No future ambition
>48. Are you already ready?
>49. That is so dry!
>50. My belly is full
>51. Did they sack you?
>52. I trekked all the way here
>53. Where is the toilet, I want to piss
>54. I want to drink cold mineral
>55. Which ones now?
>56. He was trying to toast me
>57. Jacker
>58. Your head is not correct
>59. Have you seen that film before?
>60. Just imagine!
>61. My school fees money
>62. No wahala!
>63. Reverse back small
>64. Oya, shake body
>65. Shine your eye
>66. Carry go
>67. Don't try me o
>68. Enough effizzy
>69. Nna, You chop?
>70. Ashewo bastard!
>71. What happen?
>72. We must wash am!
>73. Eeyin, but why? (meaning ore/aboki/friend-- why now?)
>74. You f--k up!
>75. No be soooo!
>76. I will see you today, athink?
>77. Cold iced water!

An American, a Japanese, and a NIGERIAN were sitting naked in the
sauna.
Suddenly there is a beeping sound.
The American presses his forearm and the beeping stops.
The others look at him questioningly.
"That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my
arm.
A few minutes later a phone rings. The Japanese lifts his palm to his
ear.
When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile I have a microchip in
my
hand.
The NIGERIAN, feeling decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided
he
had to do something just as impressive.  He steps out of the sauna
and

goes
to the toilet. He returns with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his
butt.

The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?"
I'm receiving a Fax," he explains.

@ poster
krazee joke
I bet you that guy must be ibo and that line must have started with "Nna men".

I no abuse my ibo friends o,

@ poster
Guys actually like autonomy and we like to feel like we're doing things of our own free will.
He 'may' actually want a future with you but doesn't want to appear to be a yes-man.
Lay off a bit on the pressure and you'll see how it shapes out.You know him better than anyone on this forum.
As for showing him the door immediatement,I think that's a very hasty one.
Hope it works out sha.

If you mean the greatest finisher of all time,then it would have to be Ronaldo de Lima.
You just need to watch some of his old tapes and you'll not even realize you'd been watching open-mouthed since forever

Unarguably,Arsene Wenger's team selection these past couple of weeks has been faulty as was evident in the defeat to Manchester United.
Imagine playing Kolo Toure as '2' when you have natural right backs such as Eboue and Hoyte,keeping an in-form Theo Walcott on the bench and playing a very match-rusty Van Persie.
If it were anywhere else in Europe,you can be sure that he'd already be looking for another job.
Imagine,four seasons without any silverware.

Ahnahn,sack him jo

In what promises to be a very interesting semi final, who do you think will play a more significant role? Messi or Ronaldo?

jaymes:
You guys don't know what you saying! i mean Kenny & D1 are like the pioneers of naija hip-hop scene from The Remedies to the know International Superstar Tuface! they went round the world showing what talent Africa has to offer. Now, back to the lecture at hand, from the mid 90's on Raypower FM these guys have thrilled millions of Nigerians, with their top 10 jams, when most of us then where tunning in to know the latest jams in American Hip-Hop World, without no DSTV, Internet, nothing, somehow these guys managed to give us the 411, with humour and smooth delivery. because of them Raypower FM was the best station then! they were not resting on their oars, they brought the grammies to us FREE, Once again you'all were sitting tight watching without blinking an eyelid! How come they were not old then? Again they stepped up their game by opening the first all music TV station in Nigeria! Primetime Africa, who gave naija artiste the Platinum Hit Making Factory KENNIS MUSIC?, I mean for these guys to still be at the top, it shows they are doing something right! don't beef men! keep it real!

Na wah o, Bros,so just 'cos they "opened" the eyes of Nigerians means that we have to put up with their sh.t 4eva?
Abeg,those guys don extinct jare.
Their 'set' went away with the dinosaurs.
I,like most other people, think they should lay back and allow younger people run the show.

Haba people,is it the guy's fault that he cannot be spoken corrected english.
No mind them jare,afterall english was not our papa's tongue.

See that your gal,she is very cheating on you ni jare,if not,why is the man be hanging up everytime that you are picked up the telephone.
My advice is that you moving on with your life.

Plenty girls are in the outside looking for a gooded guy like you.

Better sucksex next tyme.

Hi pple,
Dunno if its just me or its the usual hitv fcukup we've come 2 expect, but hisports and E! have not been showing for some days now.
Hisports is 'scrambled' and E! has audio but is still a 'scrambled channel'.
Anyone else with similar problems?

Good pple of this land,
Is there noone who can help?
Still awaiting your recommendations,
Thanx

Hello people,
I need a new FOREX broker, seeing as FXsol has sent us packing.
Ideas needed.
I'd also need a good stock-brokering firm recommended.

Thanks all

Hello people,
I need a new FOREX broker, seeing as FXsol has sent us packing.
Ideas needed.
I'd also need a good stock-brokering firm recommended.

Thanks all

Hello house,
To the gurus on board, which stockbroker would you recommend for a relative newbie?
I'd also like to know if there's any website i can visit where i can see all those stock market stuff(current prices and stuff).
Thanks