₦airaland Forum

true that some mothers are the origin, but it ceases to be his mother's fault when he becomes an adult, capable of reaasoning, and discerning right from wrong.

Good upbinging never leaves you whether or not you're 12 or 45.

TolaniLuv:
If you're in love anything is possible, You can get your BA/BSC/MASTERS If you're married nothing can stop that.
As a part tyme student I've seen a lot of married women in my class . If you're truly in love marry him.

P.S marriage won't stop you from getting your degree It's just an excuse.

excuse for who? who are you again?

Where did I say it wasnt possible to get a degree while married? Care to quote me?

Last I checked I said I PERSONALLY wouldnt do it. I dont care if it worked for others, I just wouldnt do it. There are those such worked for and there are those who it didnt work for ie getting pregnant and being too busy raising children to finish with school, etc.
Btw a single/indepent person is more likely to get fianacial aid for school than one who is married.

4 Him:
half the people saying "20 u're still young" would have married at 20 if they had gotten the opportunity.

without at least my bachelors in my hand? Um No.

I would never advise anyone esp a female to partake in such.

People are a product of their upbringing by and large, women contribute more than 50% to this as you've said, so women should teach their male children to respect women and vice versa.

definitely agree with that. Some women sincerely shouldnt even be mothers.

Debo & 4Play wetin ekiti women do you psychos sef

David. Thank you

If they have a career,they should leave,if they don't,they should stay and receive their constant dose of beatings. What nonsense.

So fulltime house wives deserve to be beaten, afetr all they arent working thus have no where to go. Is that right?

tboy1:
not really- did you not hear of the one that happened in uk either this week or last week. she left him and pressed charges, he was arrested and he got bail, from the police statioon the guy went straight to where she was and killed his wife - he's on the run now

Probably 4Play

Uche2nna:
@ t boy1

It is kind of dangerous to get involved like that. You had good intentions obviously but You have to be careful about getting into domestic situations that aint none of your biziness

Well some males are just raised better than others.

Not sure how anyone can see such a thing and just "miond their own business", even if it's just calling the cops on teh dude from far, it's better than being a coward and doing nothing

tboy, that's actually very sick. She is totally brainwashed hence the "daddy" talk

Guys who have/like their girls call them "daddy" are bloody pedophiles. Freaking sick lunatics.

Cant believe it got to the pioint where the dude didnt even pretend anymore, actually had the a7udacity to beat her up in front of you.

It's women like her you see the next morning on th front page, in a ditch with a twisted neck  

A Nigerian woman was found murdered in a Burtonsville, Maryland, US. home she lived with her husband and three children. Police responding to a report of an unconscious woman, found the lifeless body of 36-year-old Chidiebere Omenihu Ochulo around 2:30 a.m, Monday at their home. There was no sign of her 41-year-old husband, Kelechi Charles Emeruwa and their three children. Mr. Emeruwa was seen washing a blood stained knife according to unconfirmed reports. He was believed to have fled the city with the children.
Police on failing to locate Mr. Emeruwa and the children at their home, commenced a manhunt for the suspect and issued an Amber Alert on the missing children. The children who share the last name Emeruwa, are Elijah(4), Antinnoe(6) and Jachi(.
The deceased had filed domestic violence complaints with authorities in the past, also called the police to their home on several occasions Emeruwa was abusive to her. In January 2006, Emeruwa was charged with second-degree assault for head-butting his wife twice in the lip, according to court documents filed in Prince George’s County. The troubled relationship made Emeruwa’s family members concerned of Ochulo's safety.

What is your excuse now 4Play. Afterall this woman filed complaints against her PSYCHO husband in the past and this is in the West:" too.

What about all the girls who slapped me?Make I confess,na wetin dey vex me I have had a mobile phone thrown at me and slapped before by 2 girls,one of them,from Abia state and nobody wants to speak up for men like us

Dude, what is with you and Abia State?

They swear for you?

is there a way to look at a man and know
if he is a rapist?
is there a way to look at an individual and know his/her
temperament?
the answer to both question is "No"
and as such it is impossible to look at a man and knw if he beats women.

Jamaicans are known world wide for hitting their women, jammin.

At least we can put that on the list as a sign.

4 Play:
You are actually wrong.Word on the street,if you are looking for women to clobber into polygamous marriage or use as some form of quasi-footmat,Yoruba women are much easier than Igbo women .

I am taking their advice,not that I want polygamy for myself.

footmat? You wish. Berra tell your sources to wake up. I have no problem saying that we can be quite crazy. I hear it being said about the women all the time.

polygamy, I fail to see what that has to do with abuse esp if the women goes into it willingly. quite a number of polygamous family that are quite happy. Surely I would never put myself into such a situation but whatever. na their own. Point is if they want to leave, they can. Btw polygamy isnt just limited to Yorubas alone. Im sure you are aware of this

The question i have to the single ladies without any child involved is why do they stay in this type of relationship because i don't think it has anything to do with them being spineless, most of these ladies in abusive relationship are hardworking and you'll even be surprised that some of them are the ones supporting the family or supporting the punk ass dude.

Who bloody knows. Blind Love, Parents, Desperation, Low Self Esteem

Really, the whole situation in general is quite depressing when you think about it fully.

4 Play:
My "fellow" inmate of the island of denial,welcome. Atleast,I have gotten you to admit that in yorubaland,women don't face criticism for leaving their husband. Any abused Yoruba woman is only staying because she is spineless not because of societal pressures.Thank you for your honesty.

Those ones are held by the shackles of Religion which is probably even worse.

*flies over the island*

4 Him:
Igbo women don't need a voice, i think to an extent they are even more independent than yoruba women.

get out of here and stop trying to defend your mother jare and Igbos arent the only tribe in Nigeria either

"Dalemosu" only exist in Yoruba land and such women arent looked down upon.

I got into a heated arguement with some other dude about this same crap and his response is that Yoruba women are crazy and stubborn and if someone hits them or cheats they are quick to leave the person and their parents will accept them back as opposed to other parts of the country

Since when is that a bad thing, abegi.  

Speak with any man about abuse his first statement will be "who knows what the woman did" ?

You are right. Guys that say such things seriously CREEP me out.  

4 Play:
End of story!If Yoruba women can easily pack up and leave,the next time I hear a Yoruba woman rant about "society" again. Simply pack up and leave if you have such a husband.If you are staying,don't blame society ever again.

Im just speaking on behalf of the women of other tribes too. After all Nigeria doesnt just comprise of stubborn Yoruba women. The others need a voice for them as well.  

4 Play:
Haven't you seen Nigerian women who beat up their husbands?

what's the ratio of that compared to the reverse case? Yea there are women who beat up their husbands, who is disputing that? is that what the topic is about? Mr. OffTopic.

4 Play:
Society is made up of men and women.Of course,Nigerian society delivers its criticism and I'm sure you women cheerily join in attacking women who divorce their abusive husbands.

Excuse me. What women? You forget that I'm Yoruba. We have no problem with divorce in our society abi isnt that what you all say. We lead the pack of divorcees in Nigeria, no be so? . No be you people that hate us for having guts to leave unfavorable situations? Abegi.
I don't have no problem with the word "divorce" at all ESPECIALLY in situations like this. Gerraway jo.

My point is,its mainly spineless women who stay with abusive husbands and claiming you have to stay because society will look down on you is ridiculous especially if the woman is living in the UK.

Did you read the thread at all? I was the first person to aks why didnt she leave after 6 years especuially having the mother that she has. It's one thing if she had a mom that was soft and tolerated any kind of crap but from tboy's description, she doesnt seem liek the such so im surprised his sister stayed in that mess forever

care to quote where I said they SHOULD stay? I was just giving reasons on why I believe they DO feel the need to stay. I wish most of them wouldnt but they do and i was luisting reasons why they might stick with such BS. Personally I wouldnt and hope no one else would. I already explained why she probably never called the cops but you chose to ignore it. Na your own

sheniqua:
I'd rather you channeled all this energy to educate your fellow men to keep their hands and twisted manly egos to themselves.
that way there would be no need for topics like this in the first place
Assuming an abusive woman does leave,does it erase the fact that she was abused?
does it stop the man from abusing his next woman
does it guarantee that she won't be abused by the next man since there are plenty like him.
does it erase the emotional scars of abuse?

you make absolutely no sense in this particular discussion.

Are you minding him. He becomes senile in topics like this. All he does is bring up lesbian this and that. Never answers the topic, just changes it around. That'sn what most of them do anyway, they feel offended and try to twist things. Fine if you're offended, then don't reply abi? Not like we're saying ALL men hit women

why do you care if they get married or not. Mind your business.

4 Play:
Criticizing women for leaving men who beat them to a pulp?-as if you won't be the first to knock your fellow woman for being a "baby mama" when she leaves her abusive man.

keep acting like you're a bloody Brit and not from the same nigeria like the rest of us.

Everything Im syaing about society and family is the bloody truth and you know it and why would i look down on anyone for having guts to leave?

Have fun on that island of Denial. Hope the sun doesnt get too hot.

4 Play:
You people won't show interest in that kind of topic.All you people want to discuss is grown women taking abuse when they should walk out.

Bring up kids who have little alternatives,and they will tell you child abuse is a distraction. If my mum was the kind of stupid woman who accepted abuse for years,I would not only despise my dad but her for exposing me to that environment. I have little time for spineless women.

Dude, Re-read what I wrote in my last post.

the fact that most women accept and keep mum is cos of how we were/are raised. The fact that you guys are IN DENIAL that a Nigerian/African woman who dares to press charges against an abusive husband would usually end up being the one criticized by society is amazing.

4 Play:
What about children? I saw one with broken ribs and cracked skull at Great Ormond St

You are allowed to make a thread called child abuse, 4Play.

As usual when it comes to stuff like this 4Play just ignores the questions

Give us the bloody signs or be quiet jare. This is the 3rd time you brought up your retarded lesbian relationship theory. That has NOTHING top do wityh this particular topic. We're talking heterosexual ok? Take the lesbian fetish else where \

4 Him:
Tboy's sister had ample chance to report to the police, she chose to bear the abuse in silence for 6yrs, its no one's fault but hers.

Sincere question. Why are you acting like you don't know how we were raised?

Those of us who were raised in The States for a good chunk of our lives. Despite the fact that all we have to do is call '911 and say, "my dad wants to hit me with a belt or stick." How many of us do you think ever went ahead and did such? Seriously? Yes we have the means to call when we are being hit or beatened, etc but we don't do it as Nigerians/Africans. Most of us just don't tread in that area. We are made to believe we deserve whatever we get.
So how can you expect a woman or whoemever who is raised in that way to now call the cops on her husband? Husband she was told to "submirt and obey", she will now call cops on him?
Some have the guts but most of them don't.

Iff not for the fact that tboy's mother is unlike most of those in Nigeria. A typical Naija mother would tell her to "stop sperading dirty linen" or "disgracing herself" and if the girl was to report, they would CRICTIZE HER, the victim. Am I lying?

Remember when Leliah wrote about her husband's madness, werent there people telling her to shut up and stop spreading stories of her home life? I know you people think "oh women complain too much, they say this and that. they are acting too mordernized and liberated", we are from a continent where even while being tortured, we are asked to keep it to ourselves so why would you be surprised that the girl kept it to herself for so long?

and i wasnt trying to be insulting when I said guys without sisters would not be able to understand things like this fully. It's the truth.

I can assure you when you have the 2 daughters that you are wishing for, when it come sto stuff like this, rationality and logic will jump out the window

Most people are raised to believe commiting murder is wrong, David

However when it comes to the death of their own child or whomever, what's the first thing people say? "I want that person dead" "I want him to get the death panalty" "I want to watch him die or I will kill him myself"

It might seem "irrational" but that is how people think and some of them react on this. It might seem wrong according to moral code but many of us try to look it form their point of view and at least understand their reactions

Compared to a mother that would say "well he's your husband, just pray that the beating stops" and sends her back to a lion's den just to look good for society, you better BELIEVE I think tboy's mom IS caring.

Totally agree with yimitron.

well hopefully from what she has seen, aka her mom's reaction to the situation. She too wont ever allow herself to be in such a suituation ever again. Perhaps she has the "backbone" now

Dont know why you people are acting like jungle justice isnt rampant in Nigeria

You ahve people who run after you with tires ready to burn you alive just for stealing Indomie from a market place, Im sure alot of you, gook at that, point, stare and laugh. No ne runs to thses people saying "if you do that,. you are no better than the thief". There's also the thread where someone asked what to do about her son being beaten up in school by bullies, MANY people suggested getting area boys to deal with the bullies.

All of that is fine until it's involves a female getting beaten up 24/7 and her mother does what any angry and caring mother WOULD do and all of a sudden the act is "barbaric and immoral". Abegi!

I've always said I dont expect people without sisters to understand such things. Alot of them just say stuff and just dont get it cos they werent raised around women.

because abuse of 6 years in the eyes of a toodler was necessary