₦airaland Forum

lirusehn:
Bross 2months . You wan kill me finish?

Thank God you survived it and judging by the burns, you got off relatively easy. I have a similar experience with fire burns to my face hence the advice I'm about to share. Go and get an aloe Vera plant. Don't buy the commercial aloe Vera gels. Get a small aloe vera plant and every day, morning and night, cut a small portion out of one of the leaves. Cut off the 'bark' which can be itchy and you should be left with the colorless slimy pulp. Crush the colourl ss pulp and apply this to the burnt areas of your face.
This is more effective at the stage you're in now I.e. When your face is still healing so. It worked for me and I hope it works for you.

[quote author=lirusehn post=48080445]Mods abeg endeavor to move this to the right section


If you are expecting the Chinua-Achebe's kind of write-up 'You are on a Long thing .


STRAIGHT TO THE POINT


It was around 4PM on Friday after a long hectic journey,having to leave Lagos for Kaduna was one hell of a nightmare .

Left Lagos around 9 PM on Friday and unfortunately the bus Bleep*d us all up before getting to Lokoja, we wasted like 5 hours and after much ado I got to school around 3:30PM with my tommy requesting for executive restoration.

The first thing to know about me is the fact that I can't stand hunger for 10 minutes as i may end up crying out loud like a kid and funny enough my desire for food is always on a zero level while traveling,Irrespective of how far the journey could be i can't stand eating nor drinking anything.



My girlfriend came to meet me on my way to my lodge,I had scanned her hand hoping to see a food warmer or food flask but I only could see her hand bag 'WTF' i screamed inside of me.


FAST-FORWARDED TO MY ROOM.



It was already some minutes to 4 o'clock and my stomach isn't helping matters, I needed to eat something but ain't gon' start walking to community market which has always served as my 'Mr Biggs' . The distance alone would only provoke those precious worms inside of me who had almost finished my tiny intestine.

Need i tell you my worms are like snakes?? Mehn!! You won't believe ryt?? Trust me these niccurs got no chill They can finish one bowl of garrri within 5 minutes . Don't even tell me to de-worm, can't stand to loose them.



Back to the topic, My GF advised
me to cook it came as a shock as i smiled like a wounded ant. Cook?? You mean puke?? . Where would i get foodstuffs from?

She explained how she got 3 bowls of rice from a friend who stays somewhere around my lodge and how she couldn't take it home.

Blah blah blah!! The rice has so far been in my room since then. Glad she has a spare key to my room,hehe!! If not i for no get hope.

We agreed we gon' cook. Won't that take like hours?? I might not make it i thought .

The only pot i have should do the magic,' My almighty PRESSURE POT' . To whom it may concern, I bought this pot 2013 and have not used it more than 7 times despite being my only pot and my gas cooker is all repping. The gas no one finish 'Edakun help me!!' after 3 Yrs??


Who's gon' stop this cooking? i asked myself. Calm down my spirit said!!!
Post Malone wasn't helping matters too, I had sworn to disturb the whole lodge with my newly downloaded Post Malone songs. This guy na fire AhswearuGod!!!

¿“Cigarettes and a headband. Commas¡ commas in my head man. Slumped over like a dead man...¡”. Mehn!! Nawaoo Post Malone is gon' kill sombori

She brought out the rice and was shocked to see Ofada rice, 'plz sombori call 9 1 1' this black thing?? why not Kuku kill me na. . Not like I had any other option so I just couldn't stop her from cooking it.

Wey pepper and tomato na? She gave me this nasty look like she was gonna stop cooking if I hadn't shut up.
Can't sombori play with you again? Action speaks louder than voice obviously!!!


Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! The pot popped out pressured vapor as usual, I knew the food was on the come. I noticed starch oozing outa the vent tube.was this normal?? IONO. Less than 7 minutes the food was to be parboiled, i removed the weight valve and ssshhhh again the pressure escaped. Little did I know the worst was about to happen. The whole pressure had escaped and it was time for me to open the pot.

I sang the last verse of the then playing tear$ by Post Malone. I Was so ready to open the pot but like the pot was stiffened by those who wanted me to die of hunger. As a typical yoruba guy, the first thing that came to my mind was 'My Village people don come'. If not why would this pot start playing pranks all of a sudden?? I had no kola to offer gods nor Palm wine so I was so ready to give the pot all that it demanded.



' Post Malone - whatever' was already playing and this had given me more strength. I garnered my last strength and force opened the Pot. Lo and behold i met my doom.


I shouted JESUS CHRIST but it was already late, God isn't a magician. The pot exploded with full force and the explosion boomed and the final attack was on my face. My average-looking-face?? Why not my chest na . Before I could say 'MEHN' my whole face had turned red and had blanched.

Face wey i dey manage b4 naim come spoil so??
After 30 minutes the whole face don turn something else,i barely could see people around. Syto yaff die o.

I begged my Gf to stop the music or even delete all my Secular songs if possible , I remember say na God i need . Everybody in the lodge had gathered in my room,different voices of friends and foes all echoed in my head. I kept hearing 'sorry o' 'pele' haba'. Almost everybody around turned Doctor all of a sudden as they kept telling all sorta ways to treat the burn.
Imagine Ahmed a Political scientist even prescribed drugs for me. It was until then I knew I was hopeless.



Indeed it was so painful and my face would prolly never remain the same. Whichever way am glad it didnt get more than this. All thankz to God,Thanks to y'all for reading too. Never forece-open your pressure pot so as to avoid stories that touch.






Thank God you survived it and judging by the burns, you got off relatively easy. I have a similar experience with fire burns to my face hence the advice I'm about to share. Go and get an aloe Vera plant. Don't buy the commercial aloe Vera gels. Get a small aloe vera plant and every day, morning and night, cut a small portion out of one of the leaves. Cut off the 'bark' which can be itchy and you should be left with the colorless slimy pulp. Crush the colourl ss pulp and apply this to the burnt areas of your face.

I did this for about a month after my burns and my face healed perfectly with no tell tale marks.

I hope this helps you too.

Cieno:
There was a time when 1,000 could only get you 200mb at best on any decent network. Honestly, these times were simple, all you needed was money. After years of throwing away money to the likes of MTN who had pretty sweet internet connection but over the top prices and Airtel who was considerably cheap but very unstable network connection, Nigerians got fed up, at least I know I did.

To our rescue came Mobile wifi routers; first swift then spectranet then smile. Anyone who uses internet for anything serious wouldn’t mind paying through their teeth for internet connection that good; it was 4G LTE after all.

It seemed all was good again, internet users happy. But then something happened. It all started this year and it all started with a network you wouldn’t even think could make it happen.

MTN decided and said ‘you know what, screw this, let’s have a party’, and just like that, MTN subscribers like me could get 1.5GB for 1000 naira, 3.5GB for 2,000 and 10GB for 5,000.

Scary right, the one network who hadn’t changed their plans in years decided to slash prices. I’m sure you can guess what came after, the only network people actually use because of internet decided to join the madness, Airtel raised the bar with this one allowing customers get 4GB for 2,000 and 9GB for 3,500. I actually thought, maybe…just maybe i should have stuck around with Airtel a little longer.

It actually does get better than that. Etisalat came with a crazy offer, and believe me, unlike most other networks, Etisalat’s promotions come with no strings attached and their network can only be matched by MTN’s. 1.5GB for 1,000, 3.5GB for 2,000, and 6.5GB for 3,500. At this point, intensity had intensified and nobody knew what to do… Well that was until Glo decided to end the campaign once and for all, 10GB for 2,500… Doesn’t make any sense to you yeah? Well, me too.

6GB for 2,000

2GB for 1,000

And the mother of all data giveaways, 10GB for 2,500.

You might think that’s all but there’s talks of Airtel selling 11GB for just 2,000.

Picking a mobile data plan just became pretty stressful but it’s the kind of stressful I like


SOURCE:http://www.naijasauce.com.ng/its-data-wars-in-nigeria-and-airtel-is-winning/

Actually the problem was never from the GSM telcos. NCC had placed a cap on the minimum the telcos could charge. That rest unction was lifted earlier this year and that was what began data price wars. The telcos were now free to charge based on the actual value of the product and market forces

tmanuelle:
Are you kidding me?

The first BB device with Android OS is the BB Priv, to be followed by BB Neon, BB Argon and BB Mercury in the Q3, Q4 of 2016 and Q1 of 2017 respectively.

BB Z30 runs on BB OS 10.2 upgradeable to 10.3.1

Thank you o! Please tell them. I shocked people don't realize the Priv is out there

charlsecy:
Didn't you read the blog post on why they took such a decision? Besides, BlackBerry may be forced to go Android.

An Android-powered BlackBerry might improve your addiction.

It should, and that is what BlackBerry will do next; go Android!

Dude! Blackberry already went android officially Oct 2015. Ever hear of the blackberry Priv? And three more android phones are on their way.

49cents:
Thanks for the info. But I thought there is actually a blackberry with an Android OS

There is. The blackberry Priv. And it's a fantastic machine. Plus blackberry has 3 new android phones in the works which include budget phones.

GossipHeart:
There is nothing on earth called Illuminati
This is the kind of story they told us when we were kids.

I'm in the USA, tell me where the Illuminati office is, i wanna join them.

Bullshiit

So what if you're in the US? Does that somehow make up for your ignorance of history? Just google or Wikipedia 'illuminati'. You might find the reading illuminating

Tbells91:
I know I'm gonna get lots of insults for this but please don't forget to add your constructive advice to the insults. Thanks in advance..

I'm a Graduate seeking employment and have bills to pay.. I joined some channels on BBM where I get lots of information, some time ago, someone posted a BBM pin of a person who offers ushering/weekend jobs. Being broke and needing to get some legal and fast money, I added the pin and it happened to be a woman.

She sends BC's of jobs she has and most times she'll tell me I can't do jobs like that cz I'm a Muslim and I wear hijab. She said if I can pay agency fee to her friend, I could get ushering jobs from him.

She has been on my list since February and we talk once in a while, last week she said there was a 3day job in ikeja and I could participate if I paid 7k as agency fee. Without thinking, I transferred 7k to the account number she gave me and even invited 3 of my friends who also paid. I asked her for the address of the venue but she said I should wait till she finished compiling the names of the girls that had paid, so that she could send it to the agent and then get the address. This was Wednesday night.

On Thursday morning, we got ready and set out to beat the traffic from Alagbado to ikeja hoping she would send the address since she said the event was to start by 11am. We got to ikeja some minutes to 11 and then she said we couldn't work last week, we should bear with her and she would fix us for this week. I started pinging her and sent her a whole lot of messages but she didn't reply.. I asked for her number but she said she doesn't give her number to clients.

On Friday, she later replied and said I shouldn't worry, that we would work on Tuesday and Wednesday this week. And that she couldn't refund the money cz she has added our names to the list already and if we don't work on Tuesday and Wednesday, she will give us our money.

Yesterday was Tuesday, she hasn't replied any of my messages since Sunday but she has been reading them. But she still hasn't deleted me and the other people I gave her pin to.

What do you guys think? I'll post the information I have if needed.. Thanks in advance and please go easy on me!

Pls mod in charge! Help do the needful.. Thank you!

This fraud. Threaten her with making it a police case. You have her bank details which means you potentially have a verified link to her.

Plus I hope you have not deleted all the conversation with her on bbm?

You have all th evidence you need to make her life miserable

vince001:
Apart from SIM, all others are not real.

Exactly!!

And people are actually praising it for being educative?

We've got serious problems. #smh

chelseaboi:
Converted hummer jeep was spotted yesterday in my street in 042 city..

Sorry to burst your bubble but this is not aa converted hummer. This is the original hummer 4 wheel drive AKA Humvee developed for use for the US military.

This is the one that formed the basis for the civilian hummer.

Nothing special about this except someone resprayed it and is using it as a civilian vehicle

martyns303:
It is also not good for ur heart, I went for an early morning medicals after having coffee and my ECG recorded abnormal activities.

Had to be referred to a specialist.

Speaking as a professional, you either had an underlying heart condition which the caffeine aggravated or you took too much.
Caffeine will increase your hearts activity particularly when taken in high doses (eg brewed etc) but the effects disappear within a short while. I don't think you should have had a specialist referral if you did an ECG after taking coffee. (That's like running 400 meters and entering a room and complaining that the fan is not working well cos you are sweating).The doctor should have waited for the response to abate and then repeat the ECG and only refer if the problem persisted.

Austin234:
Tell this ur colleague dat he is inviting heart disease

That's simply not true

Vanquay:
Caffeine is addictive, I never liked it but last year, I took it for the first time(cofee) because of sleepless nights and exam. Ever since I take it like 3 times a week. I need to stop. I don't like being addicted...Even Pvssy self I am not addicted na ordinary Cofee wan hold me down


GGMU

You call 3 times a week an addiction?? Seriously??

Natpat:
I've listened to the audio and having analysed same, you will discover that the male speaker does not have Nigerian intonation and neither does the man sounds like an Igbo. Listen to his pronunciation of Chijioke, he didn't pronounce it as an Igbo man. In fact he was struggling to pronounce the name. The audio is a scam meant to only make us laugh. The church does not exist.

I wasn't meant to make us laugh. It was meant to insult

holyokoto:
He should not forget to suck the open breast between their Legs aswell useless Pastor, Christianity is a joke, I think I should consider reverting to Islam

Are you for real? Some one stages a hoax and therefore all of Christianity is a joke. #smh. I don't think I need to comment further

Com'on people. Doesn't anybody do any fact checking any more. Simply googling the story will reveal that it was a hoax put up to insult Nigerians by some crazy people in Kenya. The guy sounds more Kenyan than Nigerian for crying out load. Sadly the thing has gone viral. Even more unfortunate is the fact that Nigerians are part of the people spreading this hoax that was designed to insult them as a true story. If we don't respect ourselves do we blame others for the continued xenophobia against Nigerians?

Born2eatPussy:
[size=20pt]BUHARI[/size]is bent on destroying our once peaceful & lovely country
[color=#000000]I told my people not to vote for Buhari but they eventually did, now they are crying like a girl having menstrual pain[/color]

[size=20pt]Let's suffer this together so that next time we go get sense[/size]

I really don't understand your ranting! How is this any of this Buhari's fault

Have we, as a people been so entrenched and surrounded by mediocrity that we don't reason intelligently anymore?

Let us our heads people. Like Basketmouth said "Let the man work""

Afrocatalyst:
Let he that think he stands take heed lest he fall. He should learn

Learn what exactly? I don't understand your point?

1k001:
The tide in the workplace is changing. Read the following blog post:

The most important piece of advice for folks starting their careers
By Jacqui, calacanis.com

1/The most important piece of advice I can give folks starting out: be great at an important skill.
The important skills in the world right now include:

a. sales
b. coding
c. product design
d. growth
e. design
f. corporate storyteller

2/Refine your skill faster than your peers.
If you’re a product designer, stop binge-watching TV & read every book on UX. Learn to use every tool you find on the internet.

Many folks will tell you that the world is not a zero sum game, with one person not having to lose at the expense of another winning. This is simply not true, as in most startups there is a very limited number of seats and they go to the people who work the hardest and who have the most skill.

In your career you will find that life is a zero sum game: the winners get the prime positions and the person who comes in second place for that position is the first loser — not the second winner.

[ Click to Tweet (can edit before sending): http://ctt.ec/uUcf3 ]

3/Take your skills to a startup. Period. Full Stop.
Don’t worry about your salary, just get enough money to live in a closet close to work. Focus on providing your CEO 10x the value of your contemporaries. Your CEO will notice you, eventually, and she will love you.

CEOs love people who work hard and who refine their skills faster than everyone else (see #2) because those people remind them of themselves. How the f@#4k do you think she got the CEO slot, by waiting in line? By random luck? No, she f@#$king took that slot.

If you’re taking your slot by working harder than everyone else and by refining your skills faster than everyone else she will notice it.

4/Once you’re noticed by the CEO: take on every project she offers.
Great CEOs obsess over their high performers. They like to talk to them, they like to mentor them and they like to challenge them. Once you prove yourself, it’s time to reap the benefit of being a hard worker with massive skills and the ability to learn new ones.

Never leave work before she does, respond to her emails quickly and without excuses. Here are things to say to her when she gives you amazing responsibilities that will make her love and trust you more.

When your boss asks you to set up the sales department for your startup you say:

“I have never set up a sales department before, but I’m going to find three people who have and suck their brain dry after work. If you know anyone smart I can leverage let me know — if not, I’m off to the races.”

When your boss asks you to set up a blog and podcast for your startup you say:

“I’m on it.” Then you come back to her 24 hours later with a Google Doc and say:

“Here are links to the five best corporate sites I could find, ranked in order of how well I think they’re executed. On each one I listed the three best editorial devices they used. I also put together a list of the platforms they’re using and how often they have each published in the last 60 days. Based on all of this I’d suggest we use Squarespace or WordPress, SoundCloud or this podcast plug-in. We should publish a blog twice a week and spend 2x as much time promoting it as we did writing it. By my estimate this will cost us 20 hours a week of editorial time and 50 hours of setup time. At $25 an hour fully baked it’s a $30,000 year one expense, so if we land three clients for our average enterprise software subscription we break even — at a 20-month LTV, of course.”

Here’s how most folks answer that:

“I’ve never set up a blog.”

“Can you just tell me what to do?”

“I wasn’t hired to do this.”

I can go for hours on how most folks answer these challenges and then never follow up, forcing their boss to chase them: “How’s that blog and podcast project going?”

There are two types of people in this world: killers and the killed.

You can move yourself from the killed bucket to the killers bucket by ‘doing the work,’ but in my experience only 10% of the people in the world ever make it from deer to tiger.

Counter arguments to working hard include burnout and missing out on life. The truth is, many startups do run on 80-hour weeks. 50 hours a week is probably the norm, and paying your dues early is the quickest way to acquire the skills necessary to become a founder yourself — and accumulate enough wealth never to work again.

Hustle early and often is the best life strategy.

5/Teach everyone around you everything you’ve learned.
There is always more knowledge to acquire, new skills to be mastered, yet most folks hoard their talents. This is a mistake. Give away everything you’ve learned, and take credit for doing so with your CEO with language like: “I’ve fully briefed our new hire Joe on how the blog and podcast work, and he understands the best practices we’ve established. I’ve asked him to update the best practice document if he learns anything new and to send us those learning points by email as well. What’s next?”

If you level people up you have a new job title: CEO!

Counter arguments to teach everything you know are many, not the least of which is “What will I do if someone does the job better than me?” Simple. You either learn from them or you move on to your next skill.

I’ve had executive assistants take over operations, operations managers take over sales, and sales executives take over marketing. Having multiple, overlapping skills is what defines the best senior executives often: “She started in sales, but now she’s CFO” and “He was a designer but now he runs product” are commonly heard.

6/Never get involved in politics & never be negative.
The people who are killed, the deer, tend to huddle around the kitchen or go on cigarette breaks and bitch and complain about everyone and everything at the company. The tigers are too busy killing it to be bothered with such things.

If you see people crying and pouting walk away. Go back to work. Here’s the language:

Deer: “Bitch bitch, moan moan, blame blame, cry cry.”

Tiger: “Hmmm…that’s an interesting take on things. I gotta get shit done, good luck with that.”

You can always focus on the product, and how much it delights, helps, and inspires your customers instead of complaining.

Note: debating how to make your products better is healthy and your observations can be about the negative aspects of your product. However, you shouldn’t be negative on the team and company, you should see problems as opportunities.

7/Get as much equity as you can, don’t be afraid to ask for more!
If you’ve done 1-6 in the list above, it’s totally warranted to ask for more money or equity. I suggest asking for equity first and letting your boss bring up cash — she will, because she values the equity more (that’s a protip right there).

After five years of crushing it for your CEO, ask her to invest in, and be an advisor to your company…

…. and then email me, because I’m the most helpful angel investor in the world.

8/Bring order to the chaos, define reality
In a startup things can often be vague and confusing, because things are just… starting… up. There is no HR manual or sales process, the org chart has never been memorialized and what you’re supposed to do next is confusing.

Oh yeah, things change constantly! Your job is to take what is unclear and make it clear. To take what is a vague concept and make it into a process. To take a system without metrics, strategy, and discipline, and install all of those things simultaneously.

That is called leadership, and leaders at their best define reality.

In conclusion
Don’t bust your ass and sharpen your skills for your boss alone, do it for yourself and your boss. Taking on all the problems at a startup is not being taken advantage of — it’s taking advantage of.

Slurp up all those problems and knowledge, and leave nothing for anyone else to do. Tackle the hardest problems, because those are the ones that make you strong, especially when you fail at solving them.

Have a great weekend … solving the problems your peers are too stupid and cynical to own.

best @jason

This is all well and good. the advise is spot on but

1. It deals primarily with start ups though some of the advise can be applied generally
2. It does not address the issue of bosses taking advantage of workers

Brytawon:
I work for the company not my boss so I hold him no duties...

Not as simple as that. Studies show the staff leave jobs because of their bosses not because of the company. Which makes sense because not only is your boss first contact at your company, he or she is also your first referee at the company. so not only can he or she potentially frustrate your work, he or she can paint you in a bad light to HR or management.

1 week old Infifnix Race Max Q (black) for sale

Bought 1 week ago at SLOTS

Includes
1. 8 gigabyte memory card
2. Smart cover (original)
3. Original receipt
4. Original box and accessories

Reason for sale:
Bought as a gift but receipient wants a Samsung.

Asking price: N30,000


0803*****06 (ikeja GRA for. Inspection)

Lets get our facts straight,.

1. They are not medical personel
2. They do not have valid licence s to practice either diagnostic or therapeutic medicine.
3. They do not have the backing of the Federal Ministry of Health
4. It is not currently scientifically possible to fully diagnose all the medical problems an individual has (bone, hormones, blood, cerebrospinal fluid, urine, kidneys, lungs, sperm cells, vaginal secretions etc) from 1 device small enough to fit into a nylon bag.

Don't let these charlattan deceive you. The same technology yhat allows you yo post on nairaland allows you to check out their claims.

It just another scam.

Do yiur due diligence and beware.

Any problems with the car?

An Ikeja based secondary care hospital is URGENTLY looking for applicants to file the following position at a new facility in Agege:

2 Medical Officers
1 Nurse

Application closes: 2nd of October, 2013

Interested applicants should please send application to dih.deseret@yahoo.com

1 [b]month used white blackberry Q10 for sale.
In pristine order.
Original Box and accessories (see pictures):

2 chargers and ear phones (still in nylon pack)

Reason for sale: it was a gift. I want to an android phone instead.

Contact me on 0803*****06 (please send sms if calls go unanswered) or akinpuddy@yahoo.com

Location: Ikeja, Lagos

I cant help but feel many of the responces are the result of bad experiences at best or immature thinking at worst.
A girl (a good one, not a gold digger) stays with you cos she likes you; she will not mary you however unless she's sure of you ability (in reality or in potential) to provide for her and her offsprings.
If as a guy you are hoping for a lasting relationship then you've got to man up and be the kind of man she not only wants to spend the rest of her life with but the kind she KNOWS will take care of her.

I know several successful relationships which started from undergrad days. Mine is a ready example. We've been married for almost 7 years now with 2 beautiful children.
And dont think its always about money either. When we got married, I was making 25k. All I had, I had in potential.

In answer to your question, the primary benefit of student relationships is getting to know the other person in and out, with no pretenses or 'forming'. To be sure, there are other benefits but this for me, is the key one.

Dats all.

@Krissjay. I just saw your post(s). I hope the situation with your marriage has improved. l sincerely hope so!
Allow me to say that there is nothing wrong with a healthy sexual appetite. It is not unchristian neither is it unhealthy.
And it doesnt'necessarily mean a divorce is the answer particularly if your husband is willing to work with you on this.
Could You please give an update of the situation so we can discuss a bit more cos I think I may be able to bring my experience as a christian, a doctor and a Counsellor to bear on your situation, if you don't mind..... -

A week late, I'm afraid. Got something else. Looks like a good ride. Wish you luck in getting a buyer soon.

Hello. I have navy blue 2002 Rav4 with very minimal dents and scratches. I'd like to respray wmaintaining the original colour. How will it take and how much will it cost?

How much are you asking for it?

I would liketo take this car off you but Im willing to pay 650k. Holla at me if you are down. My email address is akinpuddy@yahoo.com. my number is 08123635765.