is marriage a competition what is the point of being married and jobless why not wait.

For those that use loosing your job as an excuse i will tell u this if you get married and your wife cannot have kids you will accept it but the same guy will not knowingly marry a woman that cant have kids so same rule goes for men and jobs / source of income that is what defines u

People here make me laugh

For those saying as long as he is looking as long as i love him blah blah yakidi yak ( i can tell u are not married)

Marriage is no joke unless you have parents backing u up preferably the mans parents (if it is the womans parents another yawa)

Sorry what are you going to eat marrying an unemployed man. The woman will bring the food take care of the house and kids when/ if you have them be a wild lady in bed.

Sorry excuse me sir what are you going to be doing?? Lokking for WORK, please sir find that work before marriage the sister will wait for you as long as it takes. If she is still in her parents house she can ask them for money ones she is out any favour she ask them will make her husband look like as lazy man

cos men are supposed to be the head.

Men back home can probably not support them and the ones that can are comfortable back home and will not follow them abroad anyway.

A woman is to marry a man that is better than her not one she is better than. Men might not like it but that is how the cookie crumbles

at the point you know if you marry this man with this behaviour cos he wont change I cant live with it.

if you can endure the behaviour in marriage ride on if not break it now. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage

it means AND what is the problem?

You really need to grow up? how old are you?

You need to grow uo and stop asking stupid questions my question to you is AND??

Serious responses please if you want the full story here it is.

My friend a guy just realised that his wife may be seeing another guy codedly (nothing serious) he has been in the country and due to s few reasons he cant travel to nigeria yet he has a wife and child in nigeria and honestly do not know when he is going to see them.

He is also seeing someone here not serious but he feels betrayed that his wife is doing the same. What do u think my fello NLers

I would like the option of everyone in the house. Kindly give me your view from a man's point of view and a woman's point of view.

Would you (accept) or expect your wife / husband to cheat on you if you were to be living in different countries for over a period of five years without knowing when next you are going to see each other.

Note it has been five years of not seeing each other but communicating though, you have a kid together but you honestly dont know when next you are going to see each other.

You want to marry mummy. You didnt even mention love?

You are going to reap what you sow IJN

@ hot body: your story is sad and that is the only pity you are going to get from me ( i am not being mean but i want you to get a grip)

You are lucky you have your sons, i repeat you have your sons you are not alone in the world. Now you need to be strong for them and make them the men their fathers werent.

My story is sadder than yours but am not going to winy about it; just take it that you trusted the wrong people and they let you down now move on. Make your self beautiful (ALWAYS EVERYDAY UNFAILLINGLY) If you have to do excercise join a gym. (i dont know what country you are in)

Always look good even if you feel like you are low act it up and look good. If you dont take any advise i give you take this one learn how to make money. Go back to school, get a better training, get a better job look for a careerer mentor or a business one and make lots of money for yourself. Take your boys and look after them be their mother, their father and their friend do not let them go thru what u are going thru and teach them so all this sad story will turn into a testimony for you.

My sister for now forget men dont be la di dah blah blah i need a man sister for some time now you dont need a man you need to  build your confidence, your bank account your children and give then the self confidence you didnt have. You cant give what you dont have so buld your self confidence.

Men will come and rush in plentifully when you are a strong woman, with cultured boys and resources to look after yourself. Above all know your God pray to him he created you and gave you those boys he has the resources to let you guys shine. Let him know you are at quarter to disgrace and see him stand up in his mighty entirity. I wish you luck and God will hold you up with his right hand of righteousness.

@ Mr Cork: you want me bad and you know it ( cant torch this)

what is your own with your friend's girlfriends abortion it is his cross let him carry it.

You did the right thing

i have christian and muslim friends and they are just as bad and as good as each other only that muslim girls hide their by forever covering their hair which make them look innocent. dont try it o.

women are women first religion is by choice

personally i think you have something to hide that is y you dont want to do it or you dont love her enough and i think she knows it also.

my husband constantly add me to his fb and bb dp i didnt have to ask him to do it. so your reluctance might be telling you something you arent willing to admit.

@ OP.

I have had the chance to fully read your post today.

IF YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR EXHUSBAND.

He has made his bed let him lay in it; let him and him mum go and sort their problems out; if you go back you migh pay with your life o.

Wit regards to your new partner you need to tell him am even disappointed in you that you havent told him by now for you this are they first things you need to tell a man so as not to waste their time and yours. Now you are living a lie as you do not know if he is going to stay or leave. If he leave any relationship you go into you need to tell the man upfront.

As lonf as your womb has not been removed am sure many many things can be done to aid your fertility you need to invest in some good doctors or go abroad if you can afford it. I know many women that have given birth that had problems but they all had wombs though it was just either damaged or not functioning well

i could read your post cos it is just too long but i get the jist.

Forget your exhusband if he is not treating you right tell you new lover about your situation you never know love might superside.

If your womb has been removed then sorry sis you cant have kids go for surrogacy. if it is still there but damaged then am sure there are things that can be done and with God all things are possible.

If your new lover isnt going toio stand by you I suggest you start dating men who already have kids and either divorced, single fathers or widowers.

Above all love yourself know that you situation isnt the first or worst in the world and many many women dont have kids some even by choice. You might want to adopt if you really want to be a mum. Love God love yourself he will see you through and bring the bone of your bone to you.

goggle 'kamasutra' and that is all you need.

But there are somethings in the book i wouldnt do

NO only dead ones where by both partners have given up

OMG

Why dont you simply talk to your wife as to what she wants and let her know how far you are willing to go and both of you meet each other half way after all that is marriage for you.

She should stop talking to the other guy now that she is married otherwise you will never satisfy her. Anyway i can tell you guys just got married after a will you both wil realise that se.x is over-rated in marriage any way. This is why i am not an advocate for marring virgins it is better to marry an expereinced lady that is ready to settle down.

Good luck

money and intelligence

@ horny4U

i am really tempted to believe  you are not a woman. If the woman is willing to go and she likes the opportunity goOD on her but a man must not expect his wife to follow him to a job location if she feels strongly and doesnt want to go.

Afterall they are currently survivng without the extra income and the poster doesnt say the man is currently jobless. Pesonally if it is to Nigeria I will not go. I am here to support my husband not to lose my identity. if i were to find a job opportunity and it isnt suitable for all members of my family children included i wont GO.

It is a big ask and a woman must be expected to relocate just because she is the wife (sis that is backward thinking)

trust me i still say you roll with cheap girls cos a good girl will be able to take care of herself and if not she will go to her parents house not just one man that wants to get into her pants and she wants him to indirectly pay for the previlegde

@mikeal

WRONG most women would not consider the opportunity at all even when offered unless they are the only earner in the family and even when that is the case 90% of the time the man will still decide.

women would not go without the man but 75% of men would regardless

@ MIKEAL

Would you leave you life wherever you live cos your wife got an high paying job in china or libya? sometime people need to think it is not just about one person.

@ prince atleast you hear the request in a better way and feel less like a maga

@ princek12 you need to upgrade the kind of girls you go out with

God Fearing
money
exposure
influence
good manners
intelligence (educate to a certain level)
WORKING
Well groomed
Good Fashion sense
Height