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Ecstasy357's Posts

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Romance / Re: Drop A Word For Your Ex/Lover/Crush Without Mentioning Their Name. by ecstasy357(m): 3:14pm On Apr 20
XingXhang:
So many people have things to say to their exes or lovers but time has passed or they have moved on but they still wish they can air their views. Well, use this platform to say what's in your heart.


Mine: If only you took out time to hear me out rather than act rash, we would have been together today.


TO MY EX... YOU ARE ONE MISTAKE I'M HAPPY I MADE.

TO MY CRUSH... YOU ARE ONLY JUST A CRUSH, NOTHING ELSE. CRUSHES FADE

TO MY WIFE... EVERYTHING I AM DOING IS FOR YOU

5 Likes 1 Share

Family / Re: What Are Some Common Mistakes That Parents Make, But Don't Realize? by ecstasy357(m): 4:07pm On Apr 18
GreatResearcher:
According to research, intelligence and dumbness have nothing to do with gender.

Matter of fact, the best graduating student of USW is a female.

I was trying to make her feel special like a bed sticker.

Sorry to whoever that comment might have offended.

I like you.

While others are looking for a fight, you are seeking for peace.
Romance / Re: Getting That Dream Girl; Is Persistence Good Or Bad?? by ecstasy357(m): 11:07am On Apr 18
Following... I really need to know what the best option is.

I met someone recently that I like but I don't wanna seem like a desperate guy, and I don't wanna appear like a stalker.

Anyway...I've decided to take a step back and hope that she will seek me out. I don't know if this is the best move
Romance / Birthday Celebrations: A Killer In Our Society by ecstasy357(m): 5:21am On Apr 06
Every year we become older by a year, our age increases by 1. This increase has nothing to do with us, it has been predestined (that is if you believe in destiny). We did not work to get older, we did not choose to get older...we just get older. The Bible said, "And which of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his span of life?" (Matthew 6:28 RSV).

Birthday is simply the day people pour praises on you and give you gifts for doing absolutely nothing. That's probably why this current generation cannot wait for their birthdays to come because to most of them, they get to receive love and gifts. What a lazy way of thinking!

Birthday celebrations have done more harm than good in the upbringing of our children. Today's average child do not value academic excellence or uprightness or hard work because these do not attract much reward like the day you get to be +1. Most children grew up with this mentality that this is the day everything gets handed to them on a plater of gold.

In our society, relationships have ended abruptly because couples were unable to make that day as memorable as the celebrant would have liked. While in school, I saw guys borrowing money just to host a crowd that barely knows them. Girls soliciting for money from different source and sending out invites to everyone hoping to get a good gift in return.

If only we could celebrate excellence, that we actually worked for, as much as we celebrate birthdays, that we had no control over, our society would be a much better place.

livingrightdaily.blogspot.com/2019/04/birthday-celebrations-silent-killer-of.html?m=1

1 Like

Family / Re: Why Do Ladies Run From A Relationship When The Guy Is Having Financial Problems by ecstasy357(m): 10:12am On Apr 05
Joromi12:
If a lady is not comfortable spending on u . Kindly flee. Many women these days have become breadwinners. The one without sense belittled their man and divorced

But ladies say they don't have a problem with spending but they hate the way we behave when we do not have
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 9:53pm On Apr 04
Evercurious:


You really have a good heart. As I said earlier keep watching her. She ll adjust but it depends on time. And how much time do you have to spare if you have got any ?

Thank u... I've got time. But I'm not sure I've got the time to have a relationship that wouldn't lead to something wonderful.
Family / Re: How Do I Stop Being Stubborn And Defensive? by ecstasy357(m): 9:40pm On Apr 04
UyaiIncomparabl:


Whatever. Thanks for stopping by.

Then nothing can change
Family / Why Do Ladies Run From A Relationship When The Guy Is Having Financial Problems by ecstasy357(m): 2:37pm On Apr 04
There's a trend in Nigeria that ladies are only after the money.

I recently watched a show, Steve Harvey's, where this question was asked by a man.

He said, "When i got married to my ex, everything was fine until I lost my job and could no longer foot the bills. We had to stop going out for dinners. It also became extra difficult to please her as I could no longer buy her the things she likes. She became distant and started acting cold towards. And this was what led to the divorce."

A lady replied the man based on her past relationship.

She said, "when her man was down financially, he became angry. Everything angers him...he picks offense at every little thing I do. If I try to buy a shoe or take us out for dinner, he gets angry...complains all thru the date. He goes as far as condemning every choice I make. His presence became toxic for me. And that was how the relationship ended."

I have never really been in this kinda situation but I'd really like know.... Is this how men are like when they can't provide?
Family / Re: How Do I Stop Being Stubborn And Defensive? by ecstasy357(m): 2:24pm On Apr 04
UyaiIncomparabl:
The topic relates my question/predicament. I hate to hear people tell me 'Victoria, you're too defensive'. I even hate myself sometimes. I can be unyieldingly stubborn and opinionated too. These attributes has really made my previous relationships a hassle (considering the fact that most Nigerian men are just too controlling smiley). But that's actually not my business. I don't want my future relationship and business to suffer because of this.

Is it really bad to be opinionated and defensive, that is to hold tightly to your views/opinion? Any help on how I can tune it down? People actually think I'm nasty and overbearing, but I tell you, I'm not. I'm not Choleric either. Be diplomatic with your responses, I know most Nairalanders to be temperamental and nasty with replies. Thanks in anticipation.


Hold tightly to your views and opinions

Hmmm... If the bolded statement is true, you won't be where you are now.

Ya views & opinions are not the issue, there's an underlying problem.... PRIDE

DEARIE, YOU'VE GOT PRIDE. PRIDE GOES BEFORE THE FALL OF A MAN.

1 Like

Family / Re: How Do I Stop Being Stubborn And Defensive? by ecstasy357(m): 2:18pm On Apr 04
UyaiIncomparabl:
The topic relates my question/predicament. I hate to hear people tell me 'Victoria, you're too defensive'. I even hate myself sometimes. I can be unyieldingly stubborn and opinionated too. These attributes has really made my previous relationships a hassle (considering the fact that most Nigerian men are just too controlling smiley). But that's actually not my business. I don't want my future relationship and business to suffer because of this.

Is it really bad to be opinionated and defensive, that is to hold tightly to your views/opinion? Any help on how I can tune it down? People actually think I'm nasty and overbearing, but I tell you, I'm not. I'm not Choleric either. Be diplomatic with your responses, I know most Nairalanders to be temperamental and nasty with replies. Thanks in anticipation.


Hold tightly to your views and opinions
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 10:40am On Apr 04
placeofallure:


Yes, she wasn't supporting the boss but the humane nature in her won't let her add insult to injury for a boss who's grieving. If you've ever been a boss, you'd know what it is if employees stay off work. In my opinion, you were too hasty and rather rash. Most career ladies that you seek are brutes, shrewd and insensitive. They're desperate. Those are not motherly instincts for a woman you hoped will raise your kids.

Just like your girl, I'm an educator, that's my 9 to 5. I earn in 6 digits, more than some bankers and I still have time to do other side businesses. If teaching is what she likes, help her grow along that line so she can fit into your dream of the quintessential woman

She's not an educator. I love educators. She's only doing it for the main time until something better comes.

I don't believe she knows what she wants to do for the long term. For now, she wants to learn how to bake.

You can only help someone grow along a particular line when they know the line.
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 10:02am On Apr 04
placeofallure:


Yes, she wasn't supporting the boss but the humane nature in her won't let her add insult to injury for a boss who's grieving. If you've ever been a boss, you'd know what it is if employees stay off work. In my opinion, you were too hasty and rather rash. Most career ladies that you seek are brutes, shrewd and insensitive. They're desperate. Those are not motherly instincts for a woman you hoped will raise your kids.

Just like your girl, I'm an educator, that's my 9 to 5. I earn in 6 digits, more than some bankers and I still have time to do other side businesses. If teaching is what she likes, help her grow along that line so she can fit into your dream of the quintessential woman

Her dream is not to be an educator. I love educators. According to her, she's just managing it for the main until a better offer comes.

She doesn't know what she wants to do for the long term. For now she wants to learn how to bake.

We are still talking though... I need her to just show me a little drive

1 Like

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 11:38pm On Apr 03
austyn0:

I get your point broh. Yes, op has got ego, and it is to be expected of a man that looks at a future beyond fvcking with a lady and that ego will keep following him around until hopefully he finds that ambitious and enthusiastic lady to build with.

You read all Op narrated, it is quite apparent the lady in question cares less or isn't the type that disturbs herself over work or stuffs like that.

I know exactly the kinda lady Op wants and I know a popular friend on this romance section who has that kinda lady in his life. I de wish am well

Lucky girl I guess

1 Like 1 Share

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 10:20pm On Apr 03
MariaLavina:
Lol.. This is what happens when you have a business mentality while entering a relationship grin. 'okay let's see, If I invest for sometimes and it doesn't yield interest at a specific time, I cut it out.' Even investors give their shares and bonds lots of time.

Truth is op, you are kind of desperate. You are probably running out of time, or emotions that you cut out unfruitful relations as soon as you define them. Your time range is crazy though. grin . Well I can't really say you did bad, your mistake was calling or assuming a 4 weeks acquittance a relationship. The problem with relationships these days is that they happen too fast. Barely four weeks of meeting a lady( a stranger) she's already your girl? seriously? So now that you have realized you aren't compatible, she's now what? your ex grin grin oh Lord! grin just like that. grin Something you could have known through friendship.

That girl get sense pass you.How? Her response.
While you are busy forming the boss in the 'RELATIONSHIP' She was observing you.Do you know if she had her own doubts about you? Do you even know her? All you care about are 'Plans' like some Onitsha clothe seller. grin . Dude its best you take several steps backward, heal from your past relationship, see people differently and then you can try being in a relationship again.


See him forming Macho like say relationship nah battlefield. God saved that girl o. grin

OK. I get your point....but it doesn't reflect me.

1 Like

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 9:59pm On Apr 03
Biglittlelois:



I am appalled at most of the comments on first page

Op although harsh, you've made the decision already, she is too relaxed where she is which is bad for a lady, who wouldn't want to have a boyfriend that cares about your growth and also has connections to make that happen? See her reply after you called it quits and the comments above neglected that part ooo!! She wasn't really into the relationship abeg even if its just one month, continue to be focused in what you want in a partner jare, it has nothing to do with pride.

I PROMISE NEVER TO FIGHT WITH YOU ON ANY OTHER THREAD.

Yes, I was harsh. That's why I came here.

I also want to build a future.

Her reply after I ended things was just off... Which means it didn't mean that much to her.

What they called pride, you called being decisive.

Thanks
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 9:04pm On Apr 03
angelamina:
Some people actually dosent like to be drag, they want to just sit-down and cross their legs while manner falls from heaven, life is hard already as it is so we are expected to grab every opportunity that comes up...

Thanks
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 9:03pm On Apr 03
Kwinesther:
In just a month relationship you have already concluded she isn't the type that would want to grow even when she gave genuine reasons why she couldn't attend the job invite? A month is not enough to make such conclusions. From your post you ended the relationship not because she wouldn't want to grow but because she made you look unserious to the HR which got you angry.

Really! Is that all you saw?

Do I have to point out the reasons why I decided to end it?

FYI the reason you pointed is actually nothing.
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 9:00pm On Apr 03
mrbock:
You made the right decision.
I've been down this road before. it's just a huge waste of time. only go with someone that matches your drive to grow, we don't have all day to be pampering or petting an Adult.

GOD BLESS YOU

I'd love to hear your story
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 8:59pm On Apr 03
ehmmy11:
Finally let me make a comment ..

Op you are not wrong for ending it the way you did.. Wat surprises me more was her response, I was like damn it.. It stinks of (too many options to choose from) you just dodged a bullet.. Nobody tells you that sugar is sweet ...just observe very well you will see that you were actually dating yourself..



*drops mic *

WHY ARE OTHERS NOT SEEING THIS SIDE?

THANK YOU
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 8:53pm On Apr 03
zed7:
The problem you have is you are not patient. Leaving a partner who is unserious isn't the issue, it's a valid reason, however, you have to have tried several times to motivate her without result. You don't say a person is unserious just after one attempt and she even had a valid reason. You don't write people off at all. This same girl can become your boss tomorrow, you don't control anyone's future. Learn from your mistakes. You might just be the helper and mentor this girl needs to be the best version of herself.

You are correct. Lemme b d mentor
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 8:50pm On Apr 03
NwanyiAwkaetiti:
Now you've started the main reason instead of hiding behind are lack of commitment towards getting a better job. Dating a lady that cannot afford to pay church offering is quite funny, after they'll be championing a cause they don't even follow in reallity

I don't get ya point.

Is it wrong for me to b careful?

1 Like

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 8:47pm On Apr 03
jackals:


The thing is You became angry over a small issue.. Don't you know you're supposed to be petting her...woman are fragile creature...At that time you were calling her, she might be going through a lot...I suggest you call her and work thungs out

I have no idea what u talking bout

1 Like

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 8:45pm On Apr 03
jeff1607:


one major of the major things in relationship is tolerance


you reacted too soon, say she didn't get the job and list her current job you won't have the patience of taking care of her till she gets another job.

she is independent despite earning so little ,learn to respect that

you can't get everything in a woman , if her good out weighs the bad things she exhibits it's a good thing, you also have your shortcomings.

as someone earlier said she has a heart of gold, taking into consideration the bereaved owner of the place she works.

if you want to grow and you want her to flow within the same pace as you give her something solid to hold onto.

A month is too soon , seems you have gotten what you wanted from her already.

Ya d first person to make ref to "gotten what u want from her"

Bro, not every guy has a short sight.

Well, thanks for ya opinion
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 8:41pm On Apr 03
jackals:


Lols... I understand though...with the obvious fact that some of them are still toddlers under 25yrs, who ordinarily are suposed to be breastfeeding under their girlfriends

Age has nothing to do with wisdom
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 2:52pm On Apr 03
MissRaine69:

Of course I am ...

Hmmm.... Boss lady smiley of course I am

Ya scary sha
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 2:48pm On Apr 03
NwanyiAwkaetiti:
I'm sorry I can't. What do u think a relationship is about? Is that the last interview she'll get? Did you ask if she actually likes a bank job? Did you?

Why are you angry?

I hope you read when I said a Lady in her submitted her cv internally. She missed the test, became sad. Then I managed to talk to the HR again.

Dearie, I'm not trying to be rude but I think you're angry not because of the story I shared but because of an experience you've had.

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 2:43pm On Apr 03
CosmicJames:

Unfortunately, you can't reject it directly.
You can only reject it indirectly by minding the way you treat people that come your way.

I'm not wishing you bad or saying you should stay in a wrong relationship for the sake of keeping it.
First try your best, give it some time and make sure you quit for a valid reason.

In your one of your reply, you did say you were in a relationship with the wrong person?

And now, this girl in question is also a wrong person for you.

Did you see a pattern?

What is the quarantee that your next relationship won't be worse?

Nature has a way of dealing with us based on our actions and decisions.

You will want to look back how your previous relationship ended before this one.
Look closely how this one ended.
And see if you will need to make some adjustments on your part.

I wish you all the best

That wrong relationship lasted for a year, separated me from friends and family, kept me alone to myself and I lived a stagnant life. All because I was trying to make things work

What I was driving at earlier was....should i stick to this relationship to try and prove a point?
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 1:56pm On Apr 03
MissRaine69:


In 4 weeks you had analysed her character, personality traits, demeanour points of view regarding life, career and aspirations. Because if you had, you would have not been in the situation you found yourself in as you would have KNOWN the type of person you were dealing with.
4 weeks is early days of a situation that could become a relationship.

I guess ya right.
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 1:52pm On Apr 03
NwanyiAwkaetiti:
And you threw it all away because of your ego undecided

Calm down... Try to see things from my perspective
Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 1:50pm On Apr 03
NwanyiAwkaetiti:
So u ended ur relationship because she has no drive? She doesn't depend on you so what's the ish? Everyone has their different time so don't impose yours on them.

You don't get. Instead of wasting her, I chose to let her be.

According to u, we have different time and I shouldn't impose mine.

Why are you angry at me?

4 Likes

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 1:44pm On Apr 03
MissRaine69:

If there is anything that would frustrate me is going out on a limb for someone and being let down. I have no patience for people who procrastinate, who are afraid to look at the bigger picture and focus on the here and now rather than the future as well.
4 weeks is not a relationship, it’s a situation pair yourself with someone who also wants the best for themselves as well as both of you.
It has to be onwards and upwards from here on in your case. Sometimes some people need a heavy dose of a reality check.

WOW! YOU ARE TOO TOUGH FOR ME

YOU CALLED WHAT I WAS IN "A SITUATION" cheesy grin

I GIVE UP. THANK U

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Am I Right To End Things With Her? by ecstasy357(m): 1:32pm On Apr 03
torqque7:
People are ending relationships based on infidelity and a bad personality while you are ending yours because your girlfriend choose to support someone in their time of pain ?are you kidding me?and just like that relationship over?smh..she deserves a better more mature and tolerant man than you.

Arnt you suppose to be the man and show her the way?you are to lead her and she will follow,to me this is not a good enough reason to end the relationship. Humans don't value what they have until it's gone. I hope the next girl you meet won't be lazy and depend totally on you for her survival while being disrespectful and a serial cheat.

Your girlfriend has a beautiful heart and is not a heartless person,she just proved she is the type to put the happiness of people she cares about before hers which is a commendable character for a woman and instead of understanding and tolerating and telling her what needs to be done,you decide to end it.smh what will you now do if she cheats or insults you?na wa o.

She doesn't depend on me for her survival.

She wasn't supporting the person but rather...she doesn't know how the person will take it.

I'm guessing you've never been in the labour market. You don't know the joy that comes when you get invited for a job test. This is not the point.

The question is..am I wrong for ending it because I feel she doesn't have the drive to grow?

3 Likes

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