₦airaland Forum

Infatuation and feelings of love are so alike in form, it easy to mistake one for another. A man sees a pretty woman who physically has his heart desires, the moment such a lady is polite and soft spoken in addition to the pretty looks. That familiar feeling of hollow which we interpret as love comes to play. We start desiring and hoping to have this person fill up that hollow.

Popular saying goes that " show Me a very beautiful and desirable woman and I will show you a man who is sick and tired of bleeping her" most things we haven't experienced yet always appear the most attractive. That's why our mistresses are more attractive than our wives as well as our sugerboys. Does this then mean there isn't a couple who are truly in love? Or all feelings of love we have ever felt are infatuative.

My very own definition of true love is the love my grand mother (God bless her soul) had for my grandfather. At such age where there was no benefit of financial gains, sexual gains, or even appreciation (my granddad was a jackass sometimes) she loved him and couldn't stand being away from him. She would keep yapping to whoever wants to listen that she is being kidnapped by her children, what will celestine her husband eat, who will boil his water or apply robb to his aching feet. This woman was 87years, suffering from arthritis. Yet she saw herself a wife and today she is dead. My grand father is a shell of the man he once was. He awaits death and points that out to whoever cares to listen. That he hasn't eaten good soup since his darling geugenia left. And can't wait to die and see her (very ungrateful man)

Anyway the slight difference between infatuation and true love is the feeling that remains "DESPITE".

Despite her looks I still love her
Despite her failings I still love her
Despite she is fat and round I still love her
Despite her nagging I still love her
Despite her issues I still love her

Any love for a human that remains after all the despite has been considered is true love. Lest it's the infatuative love which is common today whose result when the despite comes to fore is DIVORCE.

IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU STILL FEEL THE SAME FOR DESPITE MANY THINGS......... Many hurts,.......... Many failures........ It could be the universe telling you it's true love....... Happens once in a lifetime... . The rest na WASH

I have been enduring, but I can't take it anymore. This particular FWB I have is frustrating me. Imagine that she visits with a small bag containing her night cloths and whatever but she always leaves with the same small bag and a nylon filled to the brim. It is always days after she has left do I start looking for things in my home. Apparently my belongings tend to find their way to her nylon bag. Because of our arrangement I never inquire the contents of the nylon lest I annoy her and loose my privileges to her punna.

But this thing is really making me angry, she left on Wednesday and I just realised my brand new 2800 jumbo kelloggs cornflakes is gone. She left the carton and took what was inside. My perfume gone too, my milk sef gone. A phone I stopped using and abandoned on my dresser gone, to make matters worse, in fact this singular act is driving me nuts the most, MY CLOSEUP TOOTHPASTE IS GONE TOO. This is me that hates buying things I can't eat like toothpaste, detergent etc. I consider them a waste of money. Plus I just bought that toothpaste on Sunday.

I am very angry. Deceiving myself that I won't call her again blah blah blah will likely fly out the window the moment konji comes knocking. But I really don't feel safe in my own home anymore. Especially as I have to leave her at home and go to work. She uses that period to wash me of my belongings. Abeg before it becomes the turn ofmy head to enter her nylon bag. What should I do

kaziblake:
I love your mum

thanks hon. I love her too

TooNoisy:
@OP

I hail your mum o. Just tell your future wife not to mess with you or else your mum will come chasing her with the pestle. Chai!

abi oh.

My mum is a tiger, great understatement. In fact for her child she is a dinosaur. But to get her then to be for me in a fight, I had specific punchlines I must throw. As a kid, I was a hot head, I fought regularly and was battered for fingering my female classmates. I don't know where I learnt such from, but the zeal in which those girls flocked around me told me whatever possessed me, possessed them too. Meaning it was alright. Anyway my popularity made me a marked man thus subject to harsh beatings from teachers and gangs. Asides the day my female teacher beat me up in primary four cos I was staring between her legs after which she called me aside and molested me. I had always gotten away with my crimes against humanity.

Till a certain day, her name was something Adu. She was my previous seat mate who made sure I wrote with my left hand in order to free up my right hand for her enjoyment, she caught me doing same to a white girl who I apparently invited in her absence. This yeye girl went and reported me to our teacher and for the God of me, the pains and scars of the battery I received still haunts me till this day. Long story short, since I had to give an explanation for torn uniform to my lion mum, I quickly told her the lie that would save me for the next five years. " my teacher tried to touch my penis" jesu. The woman went ballistic and drove me straight to school and in minutes was with her favourite pestle chasing the Ashewo teacher all around. All efforts to pacify her was fruitless and in anger without hearing the truth which could have made my head a victim of her wrath. She withdrew me on the spot. I learnt a vital lesson. I could get my mum on my side, if only I could accuse people of penis related crimes.

Fast forward to when I was in ss2 in 97. After a fight with a classmate, which resulted in alot of injuries to him. I was battered by 7teachers. I made sure nobody knew about it and took my hell, but the moment the English teacher Mr ken, returned from leave two weeks after the incident, to start beating me again simply because the boy I beat was his girlfriend's brother. I knew I had to involve my lion mum. I told her he man flogged me deliberately on my penis about 5strokes. I I made sure I cried and complained all night, such that by morning, despite my dad's plea to be allowed to kill the teacher himself, my mum decided her wrath was best. We got to the school and the usual pestle was swinging. The usual running and screaming. Now this is the part that ensured I never tried this move again. When peacemakers came around to quell the violence, my mum started shouting, HE WANT TO DESTROY MY SONS FAMILY, HE WANT TO DESTROY MY SON OH, MY SON OPRN UR TROUSER AND SHOW THE WHAT HE DID OH. I was shocked, open Wetin. A crowd filled with all my classmates, and the entire public, I was still trying to protest that I have public hair oh and am a man oh, when in her fit of rage she dragged down my trousers, leaving me Stark naked in the presence of others, while imploring them to oversee closely by touch if they feel it necessary in helping the case. I died of shame. My classmates laughed and to make matters worse, since I was at the period in the life of a teenager where the thing gets erect without notice. Na so my thing went erect as soon as cool breeze touch am. Many people stated clapping showing my mum that this is evidence that my family is intact, make she try forgive the man. After hearing that I fought and the true story, all efforts to be withdrawn from the school fell on my parents deaf ears and from the day. I never blackmailed my parents to violence for me or against me. Share yours

Thanks for the advice. I don pet am, walking naked around the house helped my cause, I ensured I started push ups once I notice she is watching. Guess it did the trick. Pointed it out to her. To help matters I will stay our of the kitchen from now on.

Llanthony401:
People say stuffs they don't mean when they are angry
And women are not an exemption, she probably said that because you called her out on her inadequacy.

But seriously, who listens to women when they're angry.

shey. It's true. I just felt really small to be called such. A nag of all things.

cruzita:
u should have just held your anger a little longer after the usual welcome stuff then u tell her gently .maybe she has dreamt if how to welcome u in a sexy way only for your mood to spoil everything

she said this. Maybe I was wrong. I didn't know when it slipped from my mouth. I have complained repeatedly and most times she orders me out of the kitchen that Wat happens there isn't my business

misspicy:
Your bae was wrong for keeping dirty plates in the sink,someone like me,wash plates immediately after eating,its a manner I have learnt right from childhood,try and advice her to adopt it since the sight of dirty plates irritates you but the manner with which you presented your case is really not proper,you could have just do the do when you first saw her and point the plate issue to her later,when you both must have been sated and for her to tell you that you nag,you might have been nagging even before this incidence...

just call her and explain how you want things to be run,this is not a bad problem,it can be corrected

guess I need to apologise?

Llanthony401:
Old habits die hard

You are finally startin to see you bae for what she really is.
Theres nothing wron with what you did, you should be bothered by her personal hygiene, now who would want to raise a child in that kinda enviroment? You only left for two week and your kitchen (a womans favorite place) is a mess.

my point exactly, how she doesn't see it from that angle baffles me. Me a man is a nag. I felt small

I return for the weekend again at her request, I enter my home and for the umpteenth time meet unwashed dishes, yes I know she was wearing bum shorts with that perfume urs truly loves. I maybe should have not entered the kitchen, but na hunger cause am. I drove 190km to see her. On empty stomach as it's necessary to purge out the rubbish I have been eating so as to eat soup better woman wash hand cook. She was all smiles with a pose by the door after pretending not to have heard me enter (she hid). Instead of grabbing her with a welcome hug I didn't know when my mouth opened and mentioned the unwashed plates in the sink, something I hate. Like a turgid penis suddenly gone limp, na so bae slump shoulders, she didn't bother responding to my mood killer question according to her. I fiend small anger and entered the bedroom. Only to be told later in the night when I attempted to carry out my manly duties that am a nag. My very own woman calling me a nag. Say it's been two weeks and instead of jumping on her I was looking at sinks, abeg Wat was wrong in pointing out dat which i have always complained about. Is bae becoming rebellious or did I really mess up. The action last night was poor as she showed almost no interest and I feel hurt. Abeg answer me so I know if an apology is needed plus a good rendering of a better performance tonight

Today I almost deleted my WhatsApp as it has been a source of abuses, insults from my once decent female friend. I won't tell lies when I earlier met this lady I had thoughts of one day getting to her Jerusalem though I didn't really find her attractive, she is slim and big breasted. The two features I detest in a woman, but truth be told she has the personality of an angel. Very supportive and nice lady. She's could go miles for a friend and I appreciated her. Anyway since I didn't and couldn't have genuine feelings for her, I never implemented my chop clean mouth plans. I encouraged her relationships and always reminded her I detest slim or big breasts. This was to clear her mind and set our friendship expectations straight.

She visited over the weekend, when I noticed she intended to pass the night, I quickly threw away all my condoms to avoid temptation. Anyhooo with the cold nights these days, she got freaky, despite my reservations I wanted to help her out without doing the real thing. Trouble started when she touched down below and upon finding me limp. Omo na so she vex. Started raining insults and the sorts, how she has lived and stayed around me, slaving for me, agreeing and tolerating my nonsense and I didn't feel nada for her. That I must be a homosexual, that it isn't possible to see her and not get aroused, say I must really hate her, I am a devil blah blah blah. All efforts to explain and calm her down was abortive. The insult continued through out today despite still dropping her off on Sunday. The most hurtful thing she says to me Is that am gay or impotent. This is me who she knows is a lion. Guess my honesty to her was a waste of time. I for close eyes finish am. I tried to be the wiser friend who didn't want to lead her on a path I will never travel. Am an ass man who prefers plump ladies, must my aversion to the opposite mean being gay? I don't wanna seem petty or childish I for don block am since. I tire for humans sha

omohayek:
Thanks for telling me that I am lying about my own experiences: it must be wonderful having the ability to discern the lives of others over the internet.

Your claim is simply rubbish: the idea that Ibadan or Ijebu people are somehow singled out for contempt in any way is outright ridiculous. How could it be so, when even millions of non-Yoruba people are allowed to live and prosper in the south-west?

You claim to not be Yoruba, and yet somehow imagine that you could still possibly better than Yoruba people how they people feel about each other, as if you could ever have nearly as many Yoruba acquaintances as the average Yoruba person could: if you can't see the contradiction in such a claim, then it ought to be obvious that the only ones suffering from "inferiority" in this discussion are you and those who support you, not "the black man" in general.

I see u are a kid and a lack of comprehension is ur problem, I won't bandy words with you as it's of no importance that you agree or disagree with my submission. You have made ur point. It's been noted. Cheers

omohayek:
I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous. If that were true, an Ijebu man like Awolowo wouldn't be regarded as the greatest Yoruba leader of modern times. Please don't extrapolate from your restricted set of self-loathers to everyone else.

Oga am not yoruba, if you are yoruba and you are telling me you haven't heard about the ijebu or ibadan man stereotype then you are lying . This I say is gleaned from popular opinion amongst numerous and really numerous yorubas I know. We may even open source thread sef to prove it'd truth if you want. Whether the stereotype is true I can't say, because I am not a yoruba

kayfra:
You made some points but your conjecture ruined the writeup. Example, tell me where in the SW that an ijebu man is discriminated against or called a leper?

some yorubas I have related with tend to have misconception about the ijebu man. Don't know their reasons. Also an ibadan

Observant:
Rossik is always pained when black people are scolded to sit up and stop making a mess of the greatest continent on planet earth.
The truth is that while the average African is not an interior being, he has been seriously psychologically battered. His rational mind has been been severely uttered by the combination of slavery, colonization, neo- colonization, exploitation, global political bullying against his wish and so much more unthinkable vices.
Addressing the issue of tribalism, religion etc, We have to understand that most western countries were naturally formed by the people for the betterment of themselves and there ancestral lands, but most countries in Africa today were formed by opportunist and soldiers of fortune who forcefully killed, displaced, and exploited them for the benefit of themselves without regards to the owner of the lands, This is a fact.

It is only natural that people with different ideologies to life find it hard to co-exist. Case in point, if you uproot Saudi Arabia and make it a state in America to be governed by a unitary law which would take away their right to practice their ideologies and way of life as they know it now, what do you think would happen?

To this effect i have, resolved to only partake in any struggle that with see the present constitution jettisoned for a truly restructured and decentralized country where the individual comprising entities would make and decided how they want to live.

If this is achieve in the lifetime, then the next step will be totally autonomy of the individual regions of Nigeria.

Enough of living a lie.

wow. Am speechless. Thank you for this. Truly the African isn't inferior. Anyway we need to think ways of Acheiving these objectives. It falls on the youth to be the great thinkers of our generation. Guess there must be a way to recreate our existence despite the opposition from the stagnated. Well I need free and good thinkers like you in my movement. No violence, no fraud, just upright nation builders with the Brains to outsmart our dull opponents thus restructure our country, infiltrate them, surprise them with our wits, raise true leaders that are 21st century compliant.

mikolo80:
never said it'd be easy but I believe it'll be worth it. besides as hard as it sounds, it's still easier than taking on the establishment head-on

Well true but we can create a new order. If you create a good thing, it must one day be found appealing, this is an edge quality offerings have over nonsense. It will always one dat make sense thus fuel interest. If my front attracts people of like minds, real educated people, people with a vision for Nigeria. Believe u me in time people will take notice and who knows where it would go

mikolo80:
fashola is doing it by the way

Fashola is a mole?

umehmj:
i smell you are one of them

don't mind him. He likely one of those people. How they get our numbers I have no idea

Dear customer,due to the BVN validation in compliance with CBN bank directives, your ATM card has been De_activated call our help line on 08030657867 now.

I received this update from a good samaritan who apparently cares about my un-updated BVN registration. His number is 07066719290.

Anyway in the good spirit of new year and keeping up with my resolution to always pay my tithe, I responded thus.

Eddygourdo : OK bros. Please help me withdraw the money, empty the account. Use it on urself. At least it's my contribution to the poor and stupid. Omo ale jati jati

He in turn responded : na Wa for you oh, una no dey pity persin?

Abeg I abuse am?

cheruv:
You're the type that leaves substance to pursue shadow. Am not a zombie follower like you, and buhari had six solid months to prove himself but all he could do was struggle the airspace with birds and be on the lookout for the next person to antagonize.
He has rubbished our courts with his shadow chasing and now anybody with the required political muscle can damn the court! Infact, permit me to call him the worst since '85 to sit on the presidency

really I left issues and chasing shadows, hypocrisy is a curse. It's ur opinion to judge a presidency of not up to one year as the worst since time immemorial and it's ur issue that u can't see the idiocy in such submissions. Mr man you are already behaving zombie like by hating on everything dat comes from buhari. Simple because he isn't your tribe or religion. That's ur problem and u know it's true. Lest you would have put ur money where your mouth is by backing ur claims of worst president since babangida. You lots are be clouded and such behaviour will always keep u a follower and never a leader. You can't lead with such poor foresight. Yes he has gotten somethings wrong every fool sees that, even a fool like me. But fools such as you have been programmed to see nothing laudable in the current government simply because your party lost. Corruption must be fought albeit crudely, at least this is the first time since 85, there is an attempt to fight corruption. We can thus excuse the crudity

Chubhie:
The critics almost fried bubu's brains. sote, a jet was scrambled to whisk him off to UAE to cool off and have therapeutic sexual healing with big yansh.

We pray Babane comes home a reformed and balanced individual.

hahahaha you won't kill me

ajebuter:
If I dash you slap, eh!

dat must have been typed by mistake. I forgive you

kingzizzy:
This mindset of yours is the reason why Nigeria and indeed black Africa is not moving forward. If Nigeria wants to be great, it pays to be pragmatic. Nigeria should look at what other great countries did and are still doing to be great. For one thing, Nigeria is running the wrong system of Government that is stifling the people. We claim to be a country but we are not. While corruption is a major issue for Nigeria and should be stamped out, it is not Buharis job to fight corruption. It is Buharis job to strengthen the institutions that ensure accountability. If a person has looted the funds, let the person be charged to court and Buhari should keep his nose out of the judicial system. I actually expected Buhari to set up anti-corruption courts by now and introduce new laws to strengthen EFCC and ICPC. Instead, what we have seen is the hounding of mostly people who have an axe to grind with the president and a president who came on national tv to tell the world he has no regard for the rule of law. We do not have a people's oriented constitution, we do not operate the right system of Goverment, we do not have checks and balances,we don't have national cohesion, we don't even have a comprehensive economic policy. What we have is a highly divisive president who has shown that he doesn't know what he is doing. If we want a better Nigeria, we must return to the regional system of government let the people manage their affairs. It is not for Buhari to manage my affairs for me, his role should be purely supervisory. As long as Nigeria keeps operating this unitary for of Government that makes Buhari and Abuja all powerful, Nigeria is headed nowhere no matter how many people Buhari locks up.

the notion of regional government is laudable but the powers that be have refused such seeing the limelight. That being said, corruption is a behemoth, it must start from somewhere no matter how crude the methods. Oga all the points you highlighted which you suggested the President does. If he had done that you people would still find fault in it. That's my issues with everything. The fault finding. The issue of wrong government is another issue entirely.

drss:
u mean we should bcom like zombies n support buari dulllard
i rather go for vacation in afghnistan dan support buari dullard.

not really. We biased hatred dat stops us from constructive criticism must stop. If we had the same view and absence of criticism, we are back to the pdp era. By God's grace we are done with such backwardness.

olyivy:
No you are very very wrong and there is nothing non partisan about your propositions.
If Jonathan had humiliated, arraigned and tried APC leaders in both media and courts. Nigerians being who they are will call him the Messiah for "fighting corruption" and we know that many APC leaders would have defected to PDP and few remaining ones will keep quiet. Now tell me how they are going to win elections that way when everyone now associate APC with looting and few remaining ones are weak. Killing off opposition is more dangerous than corruption itself
And you should also know that it is not only corruption that is stalling Nigeria. Even with relatively small corruption in US government, they still faced recession. Today Nigerians are jubilating about media trials that have not resulted in single conviction nor have added kobo to our economy while our economy is in tatters.

I support corruption fight but every Nigerian would have supported it if it had cut across party, ethnic and religious lines and hence more successful.

Even though I don't like Buhari so much, at some point during the campaign, I consoled myself that if he wins, being as fearless as we have been made to believe, he will go after ALL corrupt persons from everywhere. What did we get? He started by saying his probes will start from the last 5 years. That's when I realized we are still back to square one.

you raise a point that our problem isn't just corruption, let me agree with you while highlighting another problem. BAD LEADERS, RECYCLED LEADERS. These two are also problems, let them all be jailed. Me and you will rise up in opposition. The world will continue and there will be opposition even if all pdp members are jailed, others will rise up In their place. Albeit better men. Better leaders. So no fears. The corruption campaign if it ends up destroying the pdp let it be. Nigeria is the most important entity and not any party. Do you really think the apc have the structure to monopolise the government for 16 years? Not at all dear. That period in Nigerian politics is long gone, we will always have a dynamic political sphere from now on. Thus a time of accountability. Please go and read up the current situation in south American politics, the current administration would focus on its immediate past. And nothing further because it was the job of Jonathan to probe obasanjo, he didn't simply cos it's the same party. Why the interest in Jonathan 's government, why the protection. As a Nigerian, you interest should be that whoever is found corrupt should be brought to justice no matter his affiliations. We should await a clear case of double standard before crying foul. Today the ruling apc is washing the pdp, hopefully it shall be clean enough to win our votes come the next election. And we shall wash the apc. We need a clean government dear. Not being bothered on who is washing the other first. Simple

Chubhie:
Eddygourdo, your guy dey UAE dey rock big yansh while you dey here dey make arguments for him.

hahahahahaha. Who tell you such thing. Our oga na decent man oh. No be Ashewo like some of us. I just feel Nigerians should stop partisan affiliations, it hampers constructive criticism. By the way, when did johnny the traveller jet out again?

denko:
this remind me of fight against boko haram where are the boko boys now absorb into nigeria army, where is former kaduna state gov also involved in this so called armsgate free by buhari without bail. who is the main culprit dasuki how does he comes to unhandcuff how abt metu u know the story.

let's speak facts and not hearsay. Thanks

Farnsworth:
Yes, worship the president...
















No wonder is a failed state....

you shouldn't worship the President, I don't worship him, I don't know him and neither do I believe in him completely. But I voted him and today albeit crudely he is fighting corruption especially from the present past government. I give him kudos. He should prosecute them ad well as except same in precedent when his tenure is over. This will improve my country. It will create accountability. Apc should jolly for now. Every dog has his day