₦airaland Forum

Doveda or daretodiffer, report here now.

Cutehector:
i want to spank her.. Why do u ask

in public abi, WhatsApp no dey. You haven't even dropped an opinion on the topic sef.

Oahray:
typical response! The average lady doesn't ever want to give up the victim role, even it means being the one dishing the blows, calling names and crying at the same time. No wonder you can't even picture a victim being male (unless the offender is male too). Pretty little harmless saints, all you ladies

Well, this scenario isn't new (whether or not this particular tale is true), I've witnessed some myself. If ever the man retaliates, you'd hear someone say something _stupid like: "you no know say na woman?"

Any lady that would be senseless enough to physically assault me in public would not be able to use that hand for some time, not even to stir her tea.

don't mind them. Always playing the victim card

Cutehector:
alright, lift up ur skirt.

what are you doing.

cruzita:
I dont support a man hitting a woman the same way I won't support a woman hitting a man .A woman should not take his quietness for stupidity because the day it will backfire a punch from the man will send her to ward12.All these won't happen if they love an respect each other .my opinion

my dear that is the issue. The day he does that we all will criticise the man and call him all sort of names. I felt she beat him up cos she could, plus the ease and manner proved it's not the first time. But if we assume the man is capable of beating her up, why is the society programmed to jump to her defence, while some people have called the man a weakling and imbeciles for not striking back.

Oahray:
What makes him imbecilic?

don't mind them. If he had beaten her he eould be the first to scream CRUCIFY HIM. Though I wondered at his behaviour, as though he felt no pains to the thunderous slaps he was receiving, he kept holding his towel lest she straps him naked and was laughing all through. I respected that behaviour, though I doubt I could do that amidst heavy slaps and disgrace

Estharfabian:
LoL
What's with everybody and my Age?


Uh...with time huh? I'd take u on your word Mister!

age matters dear. Cos if you were older you definitely will come across a battered man, or hear a story of one or while on ur way to work eavesdrop on a gossip about one. These are likely scenarios you haven't experienced yet that's why the story sounded implausible. It happens ever bloody day similar with men battering their wives. That being said, time is another factor, women are like wine, though they wane in their appearance as they age but they definitely and tremendously get better in their reasoning and preception of life. No wonder our aged mums and grandmothers are the most reasonable beings on earth.

For silly people who would have loved to see a video or pic. It was so close to me that my palasa tecno phone could have videod it in HD. But I won't put people's parents online simply cos they fought or I want people to believe it. The post transcends the story. Please talk on that if you disapprove the authenticity of the story. That's the female mind though. The oversabi victim role. Smh

Estharfabian:
LoL

The fakeness of this story Is Alarming!
No Man would stand by and Watch a woman Beat the hell outta his ass...In the midst of preying eyes! LoL!

And she Hit him hard with A Metal...and he Ran? LoL! even if he cheated, stole or committed Murder!! He'd still wanna defend himself...Pride? ego? those are Guys Obvious Attributes...

No-Offense Buh Your story is Highly Impossible,untrue, unauthentic, Implausible... Can't even grasp my hand around it.. in other words it's "Fake"

nyways... If Africa Wasn't so hellbent on Making "Men" Superior in all Things...the "Aggressive/victim stereotype thingy" Wouldn't be news......Just saying!

U wanna be superior? take full responsibilities! we are the "WEAKER" vessels afterall...

really, you would have preferred a video or picture of someone's parent on the Internet simply cause I want an I believe the story response from you? I will pass am not crass. Well most of u are the way you are with ur opinions cos your world is still small. You observe the little you have lived to see. You make opinions about it. But unfortunately it's an instantaneous solution or view. With time, more experience and age you will get to understand or believe what you once thought unbelievable

I awoke this morning to a loud noise of a the typical yoruba couple fight (very early in the morning with husband on towel and wife in scanty wrapper) . I would not be fair to the man to call it a fight as what I witnessed was a battering. I kept looking through my window as the woman slapped and kicked the bedevils out of him, all the while he kept laughing, trying his utmost to escape from her grasp. Many passerbys who attempted to mediate were met with screams of "mind your business" from the woman, some pointed out the hypocrisy that so far the fight came to our streets then it's our business. Anyway we watched on the drama and in my mind I praised the patience and endurance of the man. Till she ran towards the gutter and picked a large metal bar and went on attack towards the man, I thought it was going to be a threat of some kind, till she flung it at full force on his legs and on second attempt at him, the man fled, naked and battered as his towel fell off. You won't believe the woman chased him for a abit. I felt very bad, I wondered the crime he committed, I wonder if this man hadn't shown enough endurance or the so called "real man" trait people sing about. For most other men, after the attack with the metal pole, they will likely go all gangster of the woman, pummel her black and blue, then we nairalanders will see a thread captioned" MY HUSBAND BATTERED ME WITHOUT PROVOCATION" OR "HUSBAND KILLS WIFE WITH METAL POLE" with pictures of the battered woman to prove the bestaility of the man. We who request to know the full story will be abused. I watched on and realised that abuse by both females and males in relationships is very real. But the nature of women when it comes to playing the victim makes it difficult to determine true victims and aggressors.

What should be the solution to a abuser, to beat and batter her or to flea from her. To poison or sex starve him or to flea from him. How do we flea from our partners without the divorce stigma hanging over us, what exactly do we term as abuse, must abuse be physical before its taken seriously? Do we rate verbal and emotional abuse on the same scale as physical abuse? At what point and frequency must we admit our partners behaviour is synonymous with abuse. This and many more are issues with questions begging for a honest answer.

For adults in the house who understand that relationships require hardwork, resilience, devotion, patience and endurance, we will all admit that some form of abuse is always observed in every relationship with both parties interchanging between agreessor and victim. And ending a relationship or marriage is not as easy and straight forward as alot of kids think it to be, it's generally accepted though that over the top abuse which results to physical attack, emotional degradation and depression should be taken very seriously and divorce a solution, how do you handle minor abuses in your relationships or marriages before they become major abuses. Note that women are victim stereotyped in reality and men aggressor stereotyped and I find such classification to be unfair without the full unbiased story. This is why I need experience stories of abuses from both partners and how you handled yours. You could save a life or relationship. Cheers

daretodiffer:
All I know is that you are a potential abuser. You can kill anyone for calling you ‘irresponsible' because according to you, what might provoke you may not provoke another person.

I can't figure out how anyone could come up with such logic.

maybe you are right, i could kill someone for that, that is simply why I make sure I surround myself with reasonable people who mind their words, watch their actions to ensure peace and civility, even amongst animals there is decorum, one can't go through life running his mouth or expressing self in anyway he or she deems fit without minding the feelings of others. Maybe you don't understand abuse dear, the moment one decided to call another irresponsible or any other derogatory statement. It's tantamount to abuse. Whether verbal or physical,

daretodiffer:
You are a potential perpetrator

Forget about the nonsense about what provoked me may not provoke you

Calling someone irresponsible is not enough to provoke a normal human being, even mentally sick people do not get violent because of ‘irresponsible'. If you are in a relationship whereby you cannot express yourself freely especially when you have to day something, you are in an abusive relationship! If you cannot say something without fear of a backlash, you are in an abusive relationship. If you cannot say things as it is, you are in an abusive relationship.

Abuse is not limited to husband and wife, fiance or fiancee. You can be abused by your friends, siblings etc. You seene not to know a lot about what abuse is and that is very dangerous. I won't be surprised if you turn out to abusive (no offense). Perpetrators are very good at deflecting responsibility. They blame others for their abnormal thought process and you seem to fit in that description.

Well being that you didn't answer my first question I will assume you don't understand what u talking about dear. When you get more mature and experience more things in life, you will understand. Cheers

CeterisXVII:
Didn't I tell you earlier not to respond to his juvenile comments? Can you see the result....??

I should have listened. Too bad

I have repeatedly called for this thread to be deleted. Yet no response, ok. I am done here though, won't be subject to insults from some people. Cheruv I wasn't able to read ur response properly thanks to the other trolls that have arrived. Cheers man.

cheruv:
I dāla otu iwu nākwado asompi anyi a

Eleghi anya,a bum nwāfo ngwa...onye si n'akuku obingwa di n'Aba!
Enyi,kedu ihnye mere I ji were unyu naete umu Igbo n'ihu

gbahara m, nna le anya, ka anyi biri na udo na agba nyehi na ndi a mejoro anyi nne ukwu, fa na chi si anyi ochi. Na kpo anyi ndi nsogbu na ndi okwu na uka. Biko nu. Ka anyi rapu godu okwu biafra ne eba. Anyi ga ne kwu ya oge obuna anyi no nke anyi ka nwanne.

cheruv:
I dāla otu iwu nākwado asompi anyi a

Eleghi anya,a bum nwāfo ngwa...onye si n'akuku obingwa di n'Aba!
Enyi,kedu ihnye mere I ji were unyu naete umu Igbo n'ihu

gbahara m, nna le anya, ka anyi biri na udo na agba nyehi na ndi a mejoro anyi nne ukwu, fa na chi si anyi ochi. Na kpo anyi ndi nsogbu na ndi okwu na uka. Biko nu. Ka anyi rapu godu okwu biafra ne eba. Anyi ga ne kwu ya one obuna anyi no need anyi ka nwanne.

CeterisXVII:
Guy, why are you replying him when you know that he just wants to cause trouble? From his posts, you can see that he is just a kid...and juvenile taunts are his trademark.

I am trying to calm him down so he doesn't destroy the thread.

daretodiffer:
I do not always regard the woman as the victim

In fact, in cases ike this. I try as much as possible to stay neutral and if i am asked for an opinion. I would blame the woman for not leaving. Shikena!

What most of you, especially men do on nairaland is to empathise with the woman but with a 'but'. A man who knows his wife is verbally abusive but failed to let her be till he assaults her deserves everything tat comes to him(If genuine provocation was the reason) and the same goes for the woman who endures an abusive relationship.

Genuine provocation is not calling a man 'irresponsible' or not cooking his meals. Serial abusers do not even need a reason to verbally/physically abuse the victim. Abuse can happen to anyone be it a good wife/husband.

I was aggravated when I read your second post. You took a position of an abuser. if you could consider 'irresponsible' as a justification or a way of understanding the man's action, I am sorry but you are a potential abuser.

My point is you cannot justify abuse. It is not like a hand to hand combat with you younger brother. It is much more than that. It is a lack of self-discipline and delusions of grandeur against the victim.

And yes we victims and perpetrators.

sweetheart are you married or in a serious relationship that has gone on for years, if we analyses it, abuse from you or your man will be observed, there are abuse that each person must ignore and endure in any relationship, by ur analogy, if my wife abuses me verbally, I should divorce her? Is there any woman in this world who after she has seen my unclothedness and cared for me while duck and vulnerable who won't abuse me verbally one day in a five year duration, should I divorce them all? . Listen what I am trying to point out here dear is that, action and reactions are equal and opposite, except in cases where a psycho is involved, most observations between couples are actions and reactions which have no fixed root as both parties will never agree on a root. The idea is to judge a case by measure of its consequences which is why once we see a picture of a badly beaten woman we cry foul, how many times have u seen the picture of a badly beaten man, are u saying in truth u believe there are none? Every man is a potential abuser if pushed to the wall as well as every good woman is a potential bad woman if pushed to the wall, must we only judge the reactions of people who were pushed to the wall while the excuse the people who pushed them? I believe in listening to the entire story so I can carefully place events under actions and reactions. I have abused a lady once in truth, but later on I realised I was abused too after I ran away. I am a believer of everybody respecting himself and not going about calling a man irresponsible, if he called her a LovePeddler on provocation, and she had a choice between rinsing or not rinsing a cup to give him water afterwards, what choice do you think she will make,. That she used the dirty cup must she be a devil for doing so? Please we really differ on our views, I see women not as always victims and men not as always aggressors

Please the moderators delete this thread oh, if una ban me I no go like am. The thread has been compromised. The people who like fighting and disrespecting others have arrived. Thank you

Dianyi cheruv, ibu nwa afo awka ne vu, asusu igbo gi, yiri asusu ndi awka

cheruv:
Challenge accepted!
Moreover it'd be solely in Standard Igbo, no infusion of any foreign lingo!
Ngwa wete ihnye I ji bia ka anyi hu oso oso chiri ya bia ka oha mara ma I vu nwāfo!

bia nwannem nwoke, gwa anyi ebe isi puta, kowa onwe gi ovuma, abum nwa anambra, aguata proper, isi ebe?

CeterisXVII:
Why?? Do you know him in real life?



Why should they close it? Your post came across as quite rational and objective. When rational voices lose their strength, anarchists tend to have a field day. Let others read and learn!

that young man above has stirring up dust to spoil the thread. Sense never makes sense to everybody, I just came back from a ban. Don't want him to put me in trouble for starting a Biafran fight between biafrauds and the sensible people of nairaland

daretodiffer:
This is the original moniker

Ehen....Let's start searching for the original culprit

Shebi you wan to prove that men are naturally angels, it is women that turns them into beasts even an abusive gay man was turned into a beast by some unseen female woman

Therefore if you think you can make excuses for a beast because he is a man, I can also make excuses for the vicitims

my baby, I would not call ever man a victim or an aggressor, it is wrong that u regard every woman to be a victim. That's the stereotype I dislike. This is why I always want the true story. This case is similar to the one we fought about a bit. I am only blaming the man here because of one thing and one thing alone. THAT WOMAN WAS PREGNANT. Thus excuses whatever provocation she could have caused. But does not rile out that she provoked him. As the post suggested that he reacted after the insult. Too bad he didn't show restraint knowing her condition. Plus she died, thus it's a police case of murder or manslaughter. But asides that. My love try and have an open mind. Not all men are aggressors or all women victims, judge a case first after looking at both sides of a matter exhaustively. Not jumping into conclusion simply because the woman lost the fight and posted pictures of herself and men never post pictures of fights won or lost. Kisses

I saw a thread of a brother in apparent capitulation over the update on rule nine. Though I agree with him that he was an apologist and not a warrior. The point is that nairaland was aiding and abetting acts of disunity by not controlling it's use as a means of agitation and hate messages. These acts were treasonable, as in some cases it promoted miss representation and miss information of the public. It became a rave for E battles and shouldn't sit well with this forum as a means of communication and education of its members on diverse issues. Thank you for that update Mr seun. We well meaning Igbos were tired of the acts of the biafrauds who were selling us in a bad light, that all of a sudden the igbo man is regarded as a trouble maker, who calls the country at the time of his birth a Zoo and his neighbours animals. This isn't representative of the online igbo opinion on this forum or igbo at large. Nevertheless I want to raise a point I learned from the tirades of that nairalander.

Every group has a right to discuss issues pertaining to its future growth and development, unfortunately biafra is considered and end to that means. We Igbos would love to have brotherly and peaceful discussions on issues bothering us as every other tribe does here. I hope such threads won't be a violation of rule 9.

Biafra is a dead issue but if it's living I agree that this forum should not be a platform that encourages mutiny or treason and such matters will not be discussed. But it could be mentioned occasionally in discussion and not in a subjective manner but rather objectively. Hopefully the behaviours and stereotypes now built by the ipob and biafrauds towards the Igbos will be amended.

Goodday

Immaturity, babes wey get too much sko-sko for head, pretty much I hate most women. They hate me too . The feeling is mutual

zaragal:
turn ons..... bornagain, yoruba,educated, intelligent, dark, godfearing, religious preferably rrcg member, vision filled, goal getter, talented

Turn offs...... igbo, fair, unbeliever, drinks, club, smoke, lies, cheat, sex addicts

don't mind those attacking you. They are hypocrites. You simply stated your choice. They have theirs too. Eg I noticed you not igbo. And as an igbo man I won't touch you with a 100foot pole. If that doesn't make me tribalistic, I wonder why it should make you one simply cos u feel same way about my igboness

daretodiffer:
Why are you a hypocrite?

She provoked him...yes

But what provoked her....does it matter?

The koko be say she provoked him and he beat her to death.

That is logic of most Nairaland males. However it is nothing but a dumb logic. It ain't flying with me.

If you want to trace the root cause of a domestic abuse to proof your point, you better start from very beginning

For now, I am done with wishing your sisters and daughters the same fare (who knew men dey fear)

doveda why are you in love with me. Now you have a new monicker. Leave eddygourdo and his sisters and daughters alone. Hian. I will beat u oh. U talk about starting from the root, yet you haven't exactly done that, you just assumed that the man provoked her as the root, then she responded by calling him names and he beat her up, why didn't u assume she provoked him as the root, he responded at it provoked her, she called him names and he beat her up. Cm on dear. Stop this ur ways

daretodiffer:
There was provocation from the man, if not he woman would not have called him ‘irresponsible'

it's dat type of thinking that made him beat her up. Please people should learn to not anger others,

ChappyChase:
I bounce you as a friend once I no approve your relationship cause I no ready to settle dirty dirty quarrel!!!
Op you better switch of your phone oo..

bros I did just that. He called with an unknown number and I stupidly told him my location and address before asking him wats up. I might be in big trouble oh.

Plenty numbers been calling me today. Maybe police follow. If she dies how will I explain the fact the beast has my number dialed so many times. Imagine this is a time am expecting calls from jobs I had interviewed for. And I am not picking unknown numbers. #sad face. Telling this story here is my alibi