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TV/Movies / Re: Film Pratictionals Pls Enter by ekwurekwu(m): 5:14pm On Dec 13, 2012
ekwurekwu here. Hala ekwurekwu@gmail.com
TV/Movies / Death In Nollywood: Before We All Die. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:59am On Dec 07, 2012
On Tuesday 6th December 2012, Nollywood, Delta state and entire Nigeria was thrown into mourning. A great iroko has fallen. Veteran actor Enebeli Elebuwa kicked the bucket finally after a long time illlness. His death came barely three weeks after Nollywood was yet to recover from the shocking dismissal of Pete Eneh, another veteran actor. He (Pete Eneh) died after leg amputation due to infection.

This now asks this question, what is wrong with Nollywood? All is not well. Something is wrong somewhere. Can't we end a year without losing an all important personality?. I agree that death is inevitable. We will all die some day, but the deaths in the Nigerian film industry look more suspcious or a punishment. A lot of persons will not know this, especially if you are not part and parcel of Nollywood. For those that know, it is high time you open up. Silence kills more than a bullet.

Nollywood was built from the sweat of entertainment minded Nigerians. In fact, some persons will tell you that Nollywood was born when the movies like 'Living in Bondage', 'Rattle Snake' were release. We remember the glory days, when every film term to be a blockbuster. It was fun. It now begs the question what really went wrong? Who angered the gods?. The industry is just like it's old self. It has grown to be the third large film industry in the world, there are norms and values which must be kept before we all die. I don't write with sentiments or trying to show my holiness through my words. I don't care who might hate me for writing this, but the truth has to be said. I don't want to bore you with what you already know. It is an open secret. It's not something you want to hide anymore, no. These people are so bent in making their activities 'legal'.

I do believe, nobody was born and christened as an actor, actress, scriptwriter, Director or producer. It's a calling which those concerned must answer. If you are not called, don't force yourself to be or you end up a total failure. What am I saying? Nollywood has come to be a dumping ground for homosexuals,lesbianism, corruption, sexual immorality, voodooism. In fact, talk about the evils same group of persons display on the silver screen for the public enlightment and education, it's same thing they are indugling into. The devil cannot cast away fellow devil.

It is no more news that as a newbie into the industry and you are a female, God knows how many Directors and producers will sleep with you before giving you a role. You might be too lucky not to meet men that will like to have a piece of you before a job, what about your fellow females. The world is changing and one problem with Nigerians, we love copy and paste. If you are a guy, you either bribe your way to the script or you pay with your body. There are certain cliches which you must belong before a superstar, you can call them the 'Nigerian Illuminati'. They are capable of making you a superstar in just six months. They ask me if the likes of late Sam Loco, Ashley Nwosu, Pete Eneh, Enebeli Elebuwa were involved in all these, I write so that Nollywood can return back to God before we all die. All can not be well if all these persist. Unless, we want to start counting deaths every week.
Celebrities / Actor Enebeli Enebuwa Is Dead? by ekwurekwu(m): 12:50pm On Dec 05, 2012
Can anyone confirm this?
Romance / Re: How To Get Married In Nigeria. by ekwurekwu(m): 9:52am On Dec 05, 2012
tpacalipse: You are so much on point man.

thanks man.
Romance / Re: How To Get Married In Nigeria. by ekwurekwu(m): 9:24am On Dec 05, 2012
Mynd_44:
You coiped it from your blog then. I commented based on the tabs

Okay. I'm not a copy and paste.
Romance / Re: How To Get Married In Nigeria. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:17am On Dec 05, 2012
djeezy: Yawns##arrant nonsense.

There is sense in every nonsense.
Romance / Re: How To Get Married In Nigeria. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:01am On Dec 05, 2012
Mynd_44:
He copied it. See the tabs

I think, you should just follow the link. It's on my blog.
Romance / Re: How To Get Married In Nigeria. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:13pm On Dec 04, 2012
Obinnau: chei! See wetin joblessness dey cause! So u just typed all this so as to 'educate' us? Op nawa o!

You see jobessness, but I see creativity. There is some element of truth in what I did post.
Romance / How To Get Married In Nigeria. by ekwurekwu(m): 6:42pm On Dec 04, 2012
You’ve found a wife or you are still dating? Your
fiancee look too good and angelic. Your conclusion,
you guys are getting married. Now, you don’t
dabble into what you don’t know. You need a guide.
And for you information, marriage in Nigeria is a
typical project which you must read and understand very well. If you are lucky, your parents will help you
with some lectures and if you are not. Just listen with
keen ears and mind because this is ‘marriage 101
‘. Don’t see me as a marriage counsellor or
adviser. See me as a guide because I don’t want my
house to be a special court for settling ‘quarreling couples’ and ‘family cases’(Your pastor can do
just that). You’ve found her as I said earlier. To start with,
what is her tribe? How much does your parents and
siblings love her? Does any of friend claim he know
her too well? (If he does, I wonder what happens
anytime you might be away from the house). I
shouldn’t you tell not to ask of her past because as you are making to become one, you don’t some
‘idiots’ helping you out on your duty(Unless, you
are not a man). If she is not educated(not an educated
illitrate- the one that speaks grammar to confuse you).
I won’t remind you to check her village distance
from yours unless your kinsmen won’t join you in the journey. If she works in a bank or she is lawyer,
bro, I pity you unless you will get tired fighting. Her
family is wealthy and you once had no shoes or
singlet. Her father brought you out of the refuse dump
(Don’t try upsetting their daughter. The prisons were
not built for animals). No need going to the hospital for medical check up, you guys built your relationship on
trust. I hope your mother is not grandchild crazy? If
not, you will make babies under one week. You must
marry at age of 23, if you are only the son. You have known her. Of course, you will start with
introduction before you are making an attempt to pay
the bride price. During the bride price period, you have
to organise a little party. Show your inlaws that you
are capable of taking care of their daughter. God will
judge these fathers that sell their daughters in the name of giving them out for marriage. You can pay
everything they demand and possibly, you are in
charge of the ‘commodity’ you bought. Of course, I
don’t need to tell you that your ‘bachelor’s nite
or eve’ should not be exempted. Your friends must
welcome you into marriage-hood. God will bless if you organise it in a five star hotel not near ogogoro joint
(you must be classic). Traditional marriage beckons and you are a no
nonsense guy. You are too popular that you mingle
with the like of Dangote, Otedola, Mike Adenuga. In
fact, Bill Gates will soon be on your friends’ list. So,
your traditional marriage must be talk of the town. I
shouldn’t tell you that marriage has become a business venture(wedding-prenuer). Invest a little and
get a little. God will get angry with any person
advising to hang your coat according to your reach.
You can borrow money from friends, siblings or take a
loan from the bank. Unless, you are organising a
traditional marriage, where moi moi and bread will be shared. A traditional marriage to remember. I shouldn’t tell you how Africans are civilization
crazy. White wedding will be your next target as the
traditional wedding wasn’t the authentic one. If you
are a typical play boy, definitely you have to invite
security before the priest asks ‘is there any person
here…..’(complete the statement). The wedding also should be one in town so that the brown envelopes
will be fat. You don’t know a guest you did invite
might give you a car as gift. Your honeymoon should
be done in London on a borrowed visa. God will
replenish your hustle on a worthy wedding as you
regret your actions after reception.

http://www.ekwurekwu./2012/12/04/how-to-get-married-in-nigeria/
Politics / Re: Who Writes President Jonathan's Speeches? by ekwurekwu(m): 2:48pm On Dec 01, 2012
adeaugustus: Am really not of the political guy, but that doesn't mean i don't keep tabs on what comes out of the man that is representing me around the world (Mr. President). I can't but wonder who writes all his speech, most time he looks surprise when reading it publicly. I can't but think maybe he doesnt review it, before reading it.
He is a PhD holder, so i think am not over estimating him.

Whats your opinion on GEJ's Speeches so far?

I think, I do.
TV/Movies / Nollywood Blunder: How To Get It Right. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:19am On Dec 01, 2012
In recent time, Nollywood has come under heavy
and unbearable criticisms. Many persons have
come to hate the way movies are churned out at
will without some finishing or professional touches.
In fact, some Nollywood movies look more of a
filmed stage drama or I should I say that some stage plays are more interesting to watch than a
full-length Nollywood film. Money has become a
bane of the industry not entertainment. The
questions become- whom do we blame? Whose
fault, is it? Okay, firstly somebody will scream Nollywood has
no proper funds to carry out its required projects. I
quite agree, but I will say every person involved in
the film production should be blamed. It’s their
fault for the general loss of interest in Nollywood
films. I’m not trying to sound as if I know everything, I want to tell our filmmakers that we
can reclaim our lost glory. As an up and coming
filmmaker, I so much believe that a film starts from
the script. Some people will say, a movie
production starts when a camera starts filming and
the director is shouting at the characters. No, a movie production starts from the script. In fact,
it’s what the characters see in the script will they
utter. A script tells you what sort of character will
fit into your story. You don’t necessarily revolve
your movie the same group of actors and
actresses. Try out new faces. Yes, you are crying about your investment. New faces don’t sale
films, but you have to. There are many Ini Edos,
Mercy Johns, Mr. Ibus, Osuofias, Olu Jacobs etc out
there begging for opportunity. Hollywood was
never built around Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Keanu
Reeves, Angelina Jolie etc. To get it right and be the best filmmaker, start with
your script. After writing, take to English
professionals for scrutiny. Some won’t agree you
and virtually calls your script ‘a piece of trash’.
Try next door, who knows the dude, might be
willing to help you. Did I hear you grumble about spending out of your budget? It is time for a change
and you must stand up for that or you want remain
in the dark age. The cinemas are back,
opportunities beckon. So let your script be written
in such a way all and sundry can understand. You
don’t necessarily need to make your audience tell the outcome of your film. Keep them in
suspense. A director should not be seen as a demi-
god. He must allow independent of his cast and
crew. No character should hide his or her ideas of
making the film a blockbuster. Don’t necessarily
say or do everything you see in the script and you boldly claim that you are neither the director or the
script writer. There is room for creativity. After all,
your name will appear on the film. Let every
Nollywood filmmaker avoid recycling or remixing
stories. There are million of stories yet to be told.
Okeke might have sold a billion copies of his film “Love in action” and Ade is already warming up
to replicate same film. No, change direction. Since
Okeke got a romance, you should go for a comedy
or thriller even action. Nollywood, it is time for a
change and the time is now!!!!!

http://www.ekwurekwu./2012/12/01/nollywood-blunder-how-to-get-it-right/
Jokes Etc / A Letter From B.a.n(boyfriends Association Of Nigeria). by ekwurekwu(m): 11:14pm On Nov 29, 2012
To Girlfriends With regards to the meeting held today,
The Boyfriend Association of Nigeria(B.A.N)
decided to go on a
two months strike starting from 1st
December, 2012.
This strike is not to
cause mayhem, riot
or any form of breakup with our beloveth
girlfriends. We plan to use this strike
period as a time for
appraisal and re-
dedication in our
supposed relationship. During this period, all
forms of communication (formal, s*xual or otherwise) is allowed but all form of
financial
assistance will be
put to rest. We assure our girlfriend(s) that
this supposed strike period, our commitment will be
100% and won't be questioned, also, this period will not,
WE repeat, will not
pose a threat to the relationship unless you the
girlfriend(s) choose
to. Full boyfriend responsibility will
resume on the1st of February, 2013 to enable both parties plan for the upcoming valentine (14thFebruary,
2013).
We thank our girlfriends for their anticipated 'Good
Behavior' during
this period. Sign
CEO CHAIRMAN (BAN)
Art, Graphics & Video / Re: Free Logo Design......drop Your Request Here by ekwurekwu(m): 10:39pm On Nov 24, 2012
Ekwurekwu Multimedia

Gold,white and green.

reaching through information and entertainment.
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) / This Is To All Chelsea Fans.... This Cool Fact Chelsea Fans Should Know. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:56pm On Nov 21, 2012
1. Di Matteo was the 9th Coach in 10 Years for Chelsea
FC.

2. Chelsea have not won any Matches Since Fashola
Ban Okada in Lagos State.

3. The Last Premiership
Game for the Last 2 Chelsea
Sacked Coaches is against one Team, Guess? West
brom...

4. Torres scores an Average of 2.6 Goal per Coach.. [2
Goals]

Add More if you know any!!!! up Chelsea...
TV/Movies / Re: Une Clope - A Short Film (NSFW - Moderate Adult Language.) by ekwurekwu(m): 12:18am On Nov 20, 2012
kudos bro.
Politics / Re: What Did You Learn From The Presidential Media Chat? by ekwurekwu(m): 8:25am On Nov 19, 2012
Mgbadike80: Jonathan should come and chat with us on nairaland, we will definitely do better than the journalists

Gbam!!!
Religion / How To Be A Nigerian Pastor. by ekwurekwu(m): 12:32am On Nov 16, 2012
Before you jump to conclusion that you've known what am to talk about or the idea is up in your head crawling while you smile, my dear I think you got all wrong. I'm talk a different thing. If it is funny, you laugh. If you find it quite boring, make sure a pharmacist is near your residence. Panadol and Amalar(the Yorubas should forget about garri) will do a nice job on your system.

Are you an intending pastor or a warming up one (You are in the dreams while you are at the Theologian school) or you are already one? I don't want to start asking you, who called you. You might have missed a call from a late relation during your mid nightmares. Any person questioning your call to the 'Lord's ministry', is a devil. He/she will surely die by tsunami. Why should you pray for their repentance, when they are so bent in truncating your hustle? You must understand that it took years of starvation (may be fasting), putting on one cockroach infested coat while you are at one street corner shouting at top of your voice. You always tell your doubting Thomases that you will make it because your faith is too strong that it can push away a mountain. Your shoes are more like a flying canoe, it rains, and you see a paddle; you've gotten to your destination. When you can hardly afford a loaf of bread or some balls of akara. Mama Juliet was too good as she helps on daily basis with a food flask filled with rice and meat. When you went to the village for Christmas celebrations, your siblings and mates are too busy sharing bags of rice. You made efforts to share the word of God; some persons will label you as an idiot. They would spread your name around or even refer you to psychiatrist. God will judge your landlord. He's always on your neck once the month is close to ending. Those times were in the days of turbulent waters and bad breeze.

Now, you are a Nigerian pastor. Moreover, for those of you pastor outside the shores of Nigeria, you better come home and 'invest'. This land is filled with butter and honey. It doesn't matter the name your church is called, but you should be occupied with the thoughts of your members prospering (unless tithe and offering is mean less). Your church might be located near an Indian hemp market (never mind, the odour chases legions of spirits. They are as well helping in the work). I should not tell you to get yourself a nice suit(you can borrow or get one on credit). Your hair must be afro (so you can perm it when the spirit has instructed). Don't try going for a skin unless your assistant image will be drawn on the signboard. You must understand that Nigerians are too tired to work. They face many problems. You can proffer solutions. You might decide reconciling a quarreling couple by the strokes of the cane (you are 'Daddy'). Make predictions or guess (be sure where you set your sights or Exodus. Genesis begins your name).

Nigerians are football crazy. Make no mistake saying that Super Eagles will win African cup of nations. Tell somebody, Arsenal will the UEFA Champions league. Cause pandemonium, broadcast the death of a top politician. You must sale’healing pure water'. Let the anointing oil cure headache (ringworm and eczema should be out of question).

You must get yourself a secretary, so nobody enters your office anyhow. Consultation fee should be left out. If you are invited anywhere, ask for flight tickets. Don't look too cheap, you are a man of God. You should be conversant with Bible verses. It doesn't matter if you cram. Upgrade your vocals or betterstill, produce your own English words. Pretend one day, you had no means of transportation. The car which you've always dreamt about, will be yours. Use a Bible passage to tell your congregation, you bought a new suit or a pair of shoe. You can document your life's hustles and stories as a book, I should not tell you how they will love to read a book written by 'papa'. God bless you as you continue in the Lord's vineyard.

htpp://www.ekwurekwu./2012/11/16/how-to-be-a-nigerian-pastor/
TV/Movies / Re: Need Young But Experienced Director To Partner For Afrinolly Short Film Contest by ekwurekwu(m): 4:19pm On Nov 14, 2012
ypzilanti:

Hello there. Please what types of jobs have you done in the past. Thanks.

here is a link- http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=NG&hl=en-GB&client=mv-google&v=wLy6GLEcZzU
TV/Movies / Re: Need Young But Experienced Director To Partner For Afrinolly Short Film Contest by ekwurekwu(m): 9:48am On Nov 14, 2012
VillageBoi:
Any UK based members want to make a film or two for this? I already have one film submitted.

abeg,how you take submit ur own?explain small naw.u dey facebook or twitter?
Literature / His Death. by ekwurekwu(m): 12:52pm On Nov 13, 2012
Mama's face wore nothing, but grief and anger. She was bitter. Her eyes had swollen up. She can cry no more. If tears could be measured, hers would have formed a little stream at the backyard. The sympathizers and fellow mourners, who came calling immediately the corpse arrive our compound. The ambulance had two occupants, the driver, and one lady that has a familiar face. I can't recall where I did meet or know her. It was the driver whom spoke to Papa because the lady had lost her voice.

'Are you Mazi Okoro?', the driver asked.

'Yes', Papa answered in a low voice after looking at the ambulance, the driver, and the lady. I know him to take precautions when answering to questions. If I should read his mind, the driver might have missed his way and decided to drive in and ask his way around. I know he can't remember any of his relation abroad that would die for the corpse to be brought home.

The only relation outside the shores of Ndoke was Uncle Sam, who died a decade ago. He was brought home in company of friends that knew our compound. Who could this be? Who died? So many questions keep pondering on my mind. I kept calm as I watched the driver held Papa by the hand and whisper something into his ears.

'What!!!', Papa shouted as his face looked more of a person that drunk the 'Iba' herbs. His voice always tell situation of things. His happiness will you tell from a loud laughter that echoes. He always tells everybody how he hates to be angry. His anger starts where your happiness stops. He would tell anybody that cares to know, he do silly things whenever anger becomes a cloth to him.

'Obiora!!!'', it was Mama's voice. She calls me this way anytime she comes back from the farm. Of course, I have known the calls to be her warm water for bath, but today I was tongue-tied and rooted where I stood near the entrance to the sitting room. She called again and I heard her murmuring that I had gone out when she had told me earlier that I would help her in the kitchen for the dinner preparation. I could hear her slow footsteps as she walk up the little sandbag stairs made by Papa to fight erosion, while the hoe and the machete clatter together.

'So Obiora, you are around and you kept deaf ears to my calls?', She said angrily without noticing either Papa nor the ambulance driver or the lady. My neither lips nor legs moved as tears strolled down my cheeks. I think I have spoilt everything. Mama is a 'detective'. She has an instinct of knowing a situation without been told. She will possibly tell what the driver and the lady brought home. She was the one that told Papa something was wrong with Uncle Sam three days before his corpse was brought home.

'Nna anyi, Ralph is dead!!!', Mama's voice echoed as she flogged herself to the ground. Her voice had attracted a hand of neighbors and passersby. Papa never said a word to her and she announced that Ralph is dead!!

Ralph should not be my elder brother. We spoke on phone few days ago. I remember his last loud laughter as his usually do. He sounded healthy. I know him, he don't hide anything eating him up. His secrets are not far from my ears. He has grown to be Mama's favorite son and friend. He loves Mama and Mama do too, Ralph almost broke Mama's heart and earned himself an indelible phobia from Papa.

Ralph went away with the entire savings of Mama and partly Papa's village council savings. For six months, nobody heard from him. My greatest worry was Mama as she almost fell ill not because her money, but her son and friend. Papa was furious; cursing the day Ralph was born. The whole village will soon be on his neck while Ralph was nowhere to be found. I recall Ralph telling me he would soon 'travel out' without disclosing his particular destination. I made it a lip-sealed as I swore to make it be.

During the searching times, I thought he might have traveled out as he told me that 'everything is now ready'. I was surprised to be called on phone and behold, it was Ralph! He made mention of 'yahoo-yahoo' boys and how he fell prey to them. I only told him to comeback for Mama's sake, but why should he come home when Papa was too angry to listen? With which face will he stand at Mama's presence? According to her, the savings were for Ralph's university education.

'It's okay. God has His reasons', it was Mama Onyinye, late Uncle Sam's wife. 'Cries cannot wake him up'. The same words Mama had used the day her husband was brought home. It's now clear that Ralph had died as I heard the lady said something of a gun fight. Ralph can hardly hurt a fly, but I have to wait the truth must be told.

In no due time, young men of my age bracket starting to work on a marked space for the grave. They wore smiles as they took turn to dig while they 'shine their shoe' (referring to hot gin). I only to giggle at their silly joke of Ralph having a duplex in the spirits' world because Ralph always says he will build a duplex. Two persons occupied my mind. One was Papa, he had pretended to be mourning. I do watch him from time to time, as he would mutter unheard words. He's not concerned about Ralph's death rather the money that he termed to have been squandered. To him, Ralph was somewhere hiding or probably spending the money. What was brought home was a mere coffin. I know Papa to be heart-hardened; he had to soften it because Ralph remains his son. You don't speak or think bad about the dead.

My thoughts also were for the lady. I could now recall where I did meet her. I sneak away from home to visit Ralph at his hiding place in Onitsha. He lives with the lady and he told me that she's his savior if not he would have no other option than to jump into the River Niger. Her name is Esther, though she has advanced in age. Ralph promised to marry her.

'Hold it by its bottom', said one of the gravediggers as they carried the coffin into the grave after the invited priest concluded a little requiem mass.

As the coffin was entering the grave, Mama loosens her grip from those that surrounded her. Her intention was to jump into the grave. What was she living for? Kudos to the gravediggers as they held her firmly.




“Who is in this compound?”, a voice called from outside. The voice resembled that of Mazi Odogwu, the village council’s chairman. I heard when Papa was talking with him on phone yester night. There was no other thing the money in the custody of Papa, though Papa had pleaded to be given time since it was just two weeks since the dismissal of his late son. No, Mazi Odogwu hates excuses. You don’t give him ‘no’ for an answer. He never came for a condolence visit, which I suspected he was told by some gossips that the village’s council money had gone to the winds.

“Mazi, you are already here?”, Papa asked as he emerged from his yam barn, where he has been since cock crow.

“Yes, I told you of my coming”, Mazi Odogwu retorted.

“Obiora, get those two plastic chairs”.

“No, No. I’m not here to sit down. Give me what I told you and let me take my leave”.

Mazi Odogwu words were hurting. He’s behaving as if he has been quarreling with Papa since ages. This man deserves some hot lashes of koboko from the police-eliza. Man inhumanity to man. I don’t blame him, Papa should carry all the blame. He went against Mama’s advice of not taking the treasure ship position rather let the village council operate their money from the bank.

“How much is your money?”, Mama asked coming out of her room.

Mazi Odogwu struggled with his words as he finally said, “Seventy thousand naira!!!” as Mama throw a handful of naira notes at his face and went back inside. He began picking up the money as he laughed hysterically. This man knows no shame. I hope Papa learns from this.

Mazi Odogwu’s was one of many more persons who always come to ask after their money Ralph had borrowed from them. Mama had spent her whole savings paying debts upon debts. I know she might have tampered with the money I did be using for my visa process. Ralph’s death has brought nothing, but anguish, bitterness, and almost famine. Thanks to Mama’s farm and Papa’s barn.



“not again!!”, I heard Papa shouting on top of his voice this early morning. I sensed anger in his voice. I rushed out to behold Esther and a man that had beards all over him. He also wore dark goggles, making him look much of an Adaka. Mama stood near the kitchen door, looking more downcast. The poor woman has done her best. Possibly, we are looking at another debt collector. I wondered what made Esther to come back after Papa had almost strangled her to death.

“Well Papa, I’m Okechukwu by name. Am not here to harm or cause more mourning to your family”, said the man in an American accent. “Ralph is a good friend of mine. We ate together while he was in Onitsha”.

His words seemed like a soothing balm. He was able tell us how Ralph helped him to secure a visa to America, but it’s quite unfortunate that he died as a result of gunfight when a group of boys attacked him because of debt. He was bitter when the news got to him and decided to come back.

“To give back as I had promised Ralph when he was alive”, Said Okechukwu as he got his hand into his pockets to produce a cheque. “I’m offering the sum of ten million naira”.

“Ten gini!?”, exclaimed Papa as he fainted.

I quickly got hold of a bucket of water for Papa’s revival. Mama on her part had her eyes tearful.

http://www.ekwurekwu./2012/11/13/his-death/
TV/Movies / Re: Need Young But Experienced Director To Partner For Afrinolly Short Film Contest by ekwurekwu(m): 7:07am On Nov 13, 2012
am in hala ekwurekwu@gmail.com
Politics / Lam Adesina- Former Oyo State Governor,dead? by ekwurekwu(m): 12:25pm On Nov 11, 2012
who can confirm?
Jokes Etc / Some Annoying BB Updates. by ekwurekwu(m): 10:24am On Nov 11, 2012
1. Good night pals! (So make we cry?).
2. Am back pals! (From... where? Prison or hospital?). 3. My heart is broken, I will never love again (No be new
thing).
4. Am gonna be off for a while (Safe journey, no be
force to use BB).
5. Am back! Did u miss me? (I didn't even notice u had
gone... Duh!). 6. I love my Boo (Tell him, not us).
7. Lagos on my mind (Ehen? Why u dey tell me? Na me
wan give u transport
FARE?). 8. So Angry (Go fight who provoke u )(y).
9. People are wicked (Na today u just dey know?). 10. Am in love (No be news).
11. I saw an angel (Na demon u for see b4?). 12. Money on my mind (Na so? Here resemble CBN? Go
rob bank).
13. Ur pix looks nice (I know b4 I put am). 14. Oh God my flight is delayed (Take molue). 15. New look (Wetin be our business?).
16. Am tired of this life (Who send u come b4?). 17. I am off to church (Na baba lawo place u for go).

5 Likes

TV/Movies / Watch This Hilarious Video And Drop Your Comments. by ekwurekwu(m): 5:03pm On Nov 09, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?sns=tw&v=wLy6GLEcZzU&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DwLy6GLEcZzU%26sns%3Dtw&gl=GB
Jokes Etc / How To Get Facebook 'likes'. by ekwurekwu(m): 12:06pm On Nov 09, 2012
I don’t know reasons behind Mark
Zuckerberg’s idea of having the ‘like’
button almost on every place on Facebook.
Whatsoever might be the reason or purpose,
God bless his hustles (forgotten he’s an
atheist. Well, may Amadioha help his career).
Several times, I did see most of my friends
stuggle to update or post a picture they
would if not thirty ‘likes’, atleast fifteen.
Some persons would feel on top of the world
anytime they login into their account to see
fifty comments on updated status or photos.
Some will even go ahead announcing it on
the streets and neighbours. Where it will look
prettier and fantastic, it is when all these
foreign guys(It does matter if it’s a
Somalian or an Iraqi) commented and
‘liked’ the status or photo.
Now, if you wanna get enough ‘likes’ on
your status or photo. If you are a guy,
forget about updating ‘Am so
hungry’ (Bro, you better look around if
you can lay your hand on kuli kuli or Agege
bread because that status might get you
blocked). Since you are a guy, make sure
you are funny and informative(it doesn’t
matter where you copy and paste it. You
surely get a pat on the back and girls will
rush in to call you ‘darling’ ‘honey’.
Let your head not swell, just keep up the
good work. It’s only God that will pay
you). If you are a girl and nobody seemed to
‘like’ or comment your status or photo.
My dear, it’s your fault. Does it mean you
don’t read other ladies’ status or view
their photos? God will forgive you for being
too blinded.
I should not telll you how ladies have thrown
decency to the gutters. They flaunt
everything and ‘likes’ and comments fill
up their wall. You must take a photo having
your finger in your mouth(of course, you are
sexier. Next posting, try boobs snapping).
Try updating, ‘am so lonely and nid
company’(you can’t imagine the rush to
comment and like. Some guys will even ask
for your address).
God will judge all these married men and
women that now take over all ‘likes’ and
comments. If you guys are social network
frenzy, join Twitter(Just meet TB Joshua, he
will surely prophesy how your tweets will be
retweeted). God bless your hustle(Apologies
to Elnathan John).

http://www.ekwurekwu./2012/11/09/how-to-get-facebook-likes/
Politics / Re: 101 Arrested Over Biafra Protests by ekwurekwu(m): 10:48am On Nov 06, 2012
join the twitter hashtag #FreeOnwuka
Politics / Re: 101 Arrested Over Biafra Protests by ekwurekwu(m): 7:25am On Nov 06, 2012
if Nigeria must get it right,let the Igbo man be restored to him.chikena!!!!!!!!!
Crime / Nigerian Police Lists Dark Spots For Ritual Killers. by ekwurekwu(m): 7:13am On Nov 06, 2012
The Nigerian Police has advised all to avoid the
following places as they have been identified as
>hot spots for ritual killings: > >1. Ota, Ogun State
>2. Lambe, Ogun State >3. Ikorodu,Lagos State >4.
Mowe, Ogun State >5. The Bridge linking Abiola
Garden with Otedola Estate, Lagos. >6. Isheri
Olowo-Ira under Bridge, Lagos >7. Toyota Bus
Stop on Apapa/Oshodi Expressway, Lagos (Clifford
Oji's former location) >8. Waterfront River Niger
area Of Onitsha, Anambra State >9. Isiala-Ngwa,
Abia state >10, Igwurita, Muruokoro, Port
Harcourt, Rivers state >11. Ilorin-Oro Road, Kwara
state >12. Lokoja-Abuja Expressway, Kogi state
>13. Kaduna Eastern By-Pass, Kaduna state >14.
The Bank of River Kaduna, Kaduna state >15.
Kaduna/Abuja Expressway, Kaduna state >16.
Abuja Motor Park,Kaduna >17. Kawo Motor Park,
Kaduna >18. The Railway tracks, Kaduna > >These
are police emergency numbers in Lagos, please: >
>POLICE CONTROL ROOM 1 - 07055350249 and
07035068242. > >RRS CONTROL ROOM 2, Alausa -
08065154338 and 07055462708 > >CONTROL ROOM
3 SHQ; - 08079279349 and 08063299264 and 767 toll
free line. > >If you by mistake fall victim quickly
send an SMS/pre-text message to all or any of
these numbers.

1 Like

Religion / Welcome To Amadioha Ministry International 1. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:20am On Nov 05, 2012
Please, don’t ask me who called me or why
I chosed this sort of name for my church.
You should understand that the world is fast
becoming a global miraclous place. May be
you don’t know, hardwork no more pay.
You have to follow your dreams with ‘gra-
grality’ and you will surely achieve alot. I
shouldn’t remind you that suffernerss has
been long erased from the dictionary of the
common man. If you still have it, sorry! You
are among men more blinded. You think, you
are wealthy when you stuff enough naira
notes in your back pocket and arrogantly
say, ‘do you know who my father is?’.
You are rich if you can afford garri and kuli
kuli or kai kai and buns. Did I hear you
grumble? That’s balance diet!
So in this ministry, we are trying to build
world changers and potential leaders who
travel far and wide. Obama can testify and
Goodluck will bear witness. Here, we make
HIV to be involved in accident,malaria will
surely get tumor. We prophesy and call
names. Don’t expect a prophecy on
football, if it should be, just think of Super
Eagles winning the FIFA World Cup. I should
talk of plane crash? Nope, witches also fly.
They should crash land.

http://www.ekwurekwu./2012/11/03/welcome-to-amadioha-ministry-international-1/
Jokes Etc / Welcome To Amadioha Ministry International 1. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:10am On Nov 05, 2012
Please, don’t ask me who called me or why
I chosed this sort of name for my church.
You should understand that the world is fast
becoming a global miraclous place. May be
you don’t know, hardwork no more pay.
You have to follow your dreams with ‘gra-
grality’ and you will surely achieve alot. I
shouldn’t remind you that suffernerss has
been long erased from the dictionary of the
common man. If you still have it, sorry! You
are among men more blinded. You think, you
are wealthy when you stuff enough naira
notes in your back pocket and arrogantly
say, ‘do you know who my father is?’.
You are rich if you can afford garri and kuli
kuli or kai kai and buns. Did I hear you
grumble? That’s balance diet!
So in this ministry, we are trying to build
world changers and potential leaders who
travel far and wide. Obama can testify and
Goodluck will bear witness. Here, we make
HIV to be involved in accident,malaria will
surely get tumor. We prophesy and call
names. Don’t expect a prophecy on
football, if it should be, just think of Super
Eagles winning the FIFA World Cup. I should
talk of plane crash? Nope, witches also fly.
They should crash land.

http://www.ekwurekwu./2012/11/03/welcome-to-amadioha-ministry-international-1/
Jokes Etc / Imagine Hurricane Abimbola In Ekiti State. by ekwurekwu(m): 4:27pm On Nov 01, 2012
Read this scenario of
nigeria........ ..... Got this from a friend's wall:
Imagine say a 'Hurricane
Abimbola' is heading for
Ekiti State in 3 weeks..
First and foremost; 1.
Prophet T.B Joshua will prophesy d hurricane. 2.
Ekiti State Governor will
hold a press conference
advising the people of
the state to remain calm
as government is working hard to see how
they can tackle the
situation. 3. National
Emergency Management
Agency (NEMA) will grant
an interview on Channels TV and AIT saying that
they are well trained and
prepared to handle the
crisis. That they are on
top of the Situation. 4.
The Federal Government will wait for the
Hurricane to first land
and wipe out Ekiti State
then; - Hold a day of
National Mourning ₪
Prayers and order the flag be flown at half
mast. - Visit the
disaster location 4 a
first hand assessment
of the damage. - Visit
the survivors camp and share relief material
(Mosquito nets, rice and
Indomie) - Set up a
committee to investigate
the Hurricane and see
how we can prevent future hurricanes from
visiting Nigeria. -
Release billions of Naira
(on Paper) for disaster
management. - Sack the
Minister of Water Resources for failing to
contain the water. -
Commend the State
Governor, NEMA, Red
Cross and other
emergency services unit for their quick response.
5.The Senate Will hold an
emergency session and
condemn the 'Hurricane'.
6.Churches around
Nigeria will hold crusades and Programmes with
Titles like 'May Hurricane
wipe out your enemies'..
'Calming the Hurricanes
in your life'.. 'Finding the
Rainbow in your Hurricane'.. e.t.c.. 7. M.I
Abaga will release a
single about hurricanes.
8. Femi Falana (SAN) will
sue the Hurricane, F.G
and Ekiti State government for their
poor handling of the
Hurricane. 9. A thread
will be launched on
NAIRALAND and be put
on the frontpage and will hit over 20 pages in its
first 6 hours. 10. CPC,
ACN, APGA and others
will blame the PDP and
Jonathan for it. People
will change their BB DP to 'Hurricane Pictures' ₪
their status will
read..#Hurrican e Things....

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