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 Literature / Tears Of A Sallah Ram (poem) by ekwurekwu(m): 7:32pm On Oct 25, 2012 |
I was held by throat And led To the slaughter slab, With a slap on my back! “Mee! 'Mee! Mee!'” I cried out loud But tears won't come! I know, it's finished! I was bound, Hands and legs. And the serrated cutlass Shone on my face. My stubbornness fled. Alas, a blow will end it all And little Ibrahim Will lick my bones! 2 Likes |
| Jokes Etc / Tonto Dike Special by ekwurekwu(m): 9:17pm On Oct 23, 2012 |
(TONTO DIKEH'S SPECIAL) "Music career started &end in a day" - New world guiness record set by NIGERIAN ACTRESS "I tried downloading Tonto Dikeh's song but my phone rejected it. My iPhone is truly a smartphone." - Akpos Tonto Dikeh's two tracks are like two Bullets , One to Kill you and the Other to Make sure you are Dead - AIT Reporter Mr udeme what do you think about Tonto Dikeh's new singles? Udeme: Ah! it is meant for people who are ready to die. Akpors - When a DJ Played TONTO DIKEH'S song at my grand-mother's Funeral, my gandmum woke up frm the and changed the track HEADLINES: - I sang under duress - Tonto Dikeh claims. - Boko haram admits: We're responsible - Don't try it again -TB Joshua warns. - Dis is sad - Nigerians comment - I think Tonto's Song is nice if you listen to it on mute - King aluu Truth be told NTA NEWS anthem sounds way better than tonto's singles - king aluu admits Truth be told, if what Tonto Dike did qualifies to be referred to as singing, then my generator is the greatest vocalist of all time - ekaitte's comments. Tonto Dikeh introduced and ended her music career in a day. She said "Hi & It's Over" |
| TV/Movies / Tonto Damages by ekwurekwu(m): 10:34pm On Oct 20, 2012 |
We are yet to recover from the audio,the video is forth and coming.Chai!9ja music don scata.Abeg,wey Terry G?
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| Music/Radio / Re: Tonto's Reply To Critics Of HI & ITZOVA - I have Achieved My Aim by ekwurekwu(m): 10:36am On Oct 19, 2012 |
aze: Tell her she will pay for this havoc)!!!!!!!!!!Sh1t. You won't imagine the slaps I got from rats and cockroaches. |
| Religion / How Much Do You Like Your Pastor? by ekwurekwu(m): 4:57pm On Oct 12, 2012 |
It's no more that alot of persons see and idolize their pastors.The question is,how much do you like your pastor? |
| Jokes Etc / Fact. by ekwurekwu(m): 6:35pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
-RACISM is when a white BB Bold 6 cost more than a black BB Bold 6. -NEMESIS is when you submit your answer sheet wit your expo inside. -LONG THROAT is when you take a girl out on a sunny day & she orders for a hot plate of pepper soup. -A WITCH is that girl that eats nkwobi, fish pepper soup, shawama, suya, chicken, smirnoff, fayrous & when you take her home she says sorry I'm on my period. -OVERSABI is when you are eating salad with a girl & she says 'honey, this food no done'. -OLODO is when you are in a plane with a girl & she says 'honey I'm hot, can you please roll down the glass'. -A HUNGRY CHILD is that kid that sees you eating & says 'my mummy said I shouldn't take food from strangers'. -A STUBBORN CHILD is that kid that wakes up in the middle of the night when daddy & mummy are having good time & says 'mummy I want to piss'. -STINGYNESS is when you finish reading this and you refuse to share! — with |
| Literature / Aluu: The Abomination You Did. by ekwurekwu(m): 6:21pm On Oct 10, 2012 |
Aluu! Just like your name, You've done abomination. Your veins are filled with wickedness And death speaks through your lips. Aluu! You have cut short dreams Hacked away ambition, Burnt out the future, Clubbed the husbands of your daughters And Blown out the candles That hold the light of tomorrow! Aluu! We wail for your deeds, Crying for your atrocities. Tears are no more; We cry blood! Aluu! What went wrong? Did Ugonna impregnant your daughter? Could Lloyd have trampled your yam tendrils? Perhaps Chidiaka dared your gods? Or Tekena spat on your's ancestors? Speak, You of evil hands and heart! Aluu! Justice knocks! 2 Likes |
| Jokes Etc / Laugh With Ekwurekwu-season1 by ekwurekwu(m): 10:01am On Oct 04, 2012 |
You sell Gala at Oshodi, and then in the evening you wash your feet and dress home like a banker...the Lord sees your struggle. Calabar people fit quarrel with you when you beat a dog for dia face. |
| Jokes Etc / Powerful Names Of Nigerian Churches. by ekwurekwu(m): 11:14pm On Oct 03, 2012 |
POWERFUL NAMES OF CHURCHES IN NAIJA • Go and tell Ahab that Elijah is here Ministries - Benin • God is Real Ministry. Motto: "Jesus no get muscle but he get power" • JESUS THE LANDLORD, WE THE RELAXING PEW MINISTRY - Port harcourt • Old time religion ministry - ABUJA • Best Spot In The Land of God Church - Apapa. • Trigger happy ministry. Motto- "always firing the devil" ---Affiliated to MOPOL or Niger Delta militants • KASABUBU CHURCH OF GOD - IBADAN • Jesus knows his children ministry - Benin • SEVEN THUNDERS OF JESUS - ABUJA • Face to face ministry - Kogi • Angels on Fire Chapel of Peace • Liquid Fire Ministries (Suleja, Niger State) • By fire By Fire Ministry • HOLYFIRE OVERFLOW MINISTRIES • David Killed Goliath Ministry (Kaduna) • House of Jehova's Padawans (TransAmadi, PH) • MY BROTHER IS A CHRISTIAN CHURCH OF GOD- BENIN • Fellowship of the Wings - Ajah (Lamgbasa) • Power Foundation Ministries, Aba. === The pastor's maiden crusade was titled: "Your Money is Looking For You"- LAGOS • HOLY GHOST ON FIRE MINISTRY (Abuja) • HIGH TENSION MINISTRY • Devil go hear am Jesus Ministry - DELTA • Accredited Church of God - ABUJA • Chukwudi & Son evangelical ministry, Aba • Power pass power church of the mountain ministry incorporated • Ministry Of The Unclad Wire - Bayelsa State • LABORATORY CHURCH OF GOD- MINNA • Guided Missiles Church - Lagos • JESUS IN THE NOW GLOBAL MINISTRY' - LAFIA • Jehova Sharp Sharp (Satellite town) ABUJA • Huricane Miracle Ministry • Healing Tsunami Ministry • Satan in Trouble Ministry • Fire for Fire Ministry (affiliated to the Nigerian Police) •FIST OF FURY (NTA road, Port Harcourt) • Run For Your Life Ministry - IBADAN =)) Find the closest one to you and worship there, Thank me after. |
| Jokes Etc / Re: Projan As A Study Case......npjc by ekwurekwu(m): 12:46pm On Oct 02, 2012 |
Laugher I did be. |
| Jokes Etc / Re: Countries And Their Capital by ekwurekwu(m): 12:38pm On Oct 02, 2012 |
Lome Damaturu. |
| Jokes Etc / Re: Definition Of Some Nairalander's Names by ekwurekwu(m): 11:01am On Oct 01, 2012 |
I can burst your ear drums. |
| Jokes Etc / Re: Swearing In Ceremony Of The New PROJAN Social Director. by ekwurekwu(m): 1:05pm On Sep 30, 2012 |
I wonder the post I did take? *sighs* |
| Jokes Etc / Re: EXCLUSIVE! NEW PROJAN EXECUTIVE MEMBERS. . .(NEW MEMBERS ARE WELCOME)!!!! by ekwurekwu(m): 10:06am On Sep 30, 2012 |
Am in. |
| Romance / How To Marry The Woman The Woman Of Your Dream. by ekwurekwu(m): 9:05am On Sep 30, 2012 |
1.You be intelligent (it doesn't matter if you read a dictionary) 2.You must be caring.(you might be the type that looked 'threatening') 3.You must own a locomotive machine(it doesn't matter if your garage is full of 'hummer barrow') 4.You must have six pack (I hope you've started gyming with alomo bitters?) 5.Make sure you can spoil her with Brazillian hair or Blackberry. NB- Make sure you're in already when applying the 4th law. Congratulations!You are now in love.You may kiss your bride! |
| Jokes Etc / When Will Akpors Die? by ekwurekwu(m): 7:52am On Sep 30, 2012 |
I really don't know why a lot of people will keep using Akpors as a subject matter in their jokes. Even the supposed and acclaimed comedians do the silly 'Akpors did this' 'Akpor is that'. So am saying,the guy Akpors is not the only funny.Let's try,Okon,Musa,Olaniyi,Okoro,Mgbede etc.These guys are wonderful and funny.Let Akpors be,please.Una wan kill am? |
| Jokes Etc / The Real Meaning Of Wahala. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:16pm On Sep 28, 2012 |
WAHALA (TROUBLE) is: ~When the person interviewing you at your new job is the same guy you insulted in traffic {........You go apologisetire.: O} ~When you tell your friend "your mama!!!" and turn around and see his or her mum staring at you {.........Meeeh n, you go collect plenty slap.} ~When Mosquito lands on your father's bald head and you try to kill it with your bare hands. {........You must provide the proof ohh!, or else,,,,.} ~When you update "salary things" on facebook and your landlord comments"on point" {.........You go travel go villa by force.} ~When you dey on top okada and the okada man dey ping {........Na automaticticket to Baba God be dat.:} ~When you finish eating in an eatery and you find out your wallet fell out in a taxi {......Start to prepare your grammar wey big pass the one of Hon. Patrick.} ~When olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt chases you with a Cutlass {......Ol'boy, just stop begin beg am sharp! sharp.} ~When you give beggar #5000 note instead of #50.{.....Gener osity go change clubside.} ~When your husband dey play wit you, your pikin shout "daddy you no sabi, nobe so gateman dey do am {......you no say water don pass garri} ~When you see your wife for the same hotel you go with your babe {.....O! boy start fast calculations.oO ! Before the situation go resemble BODMAS and CALCULUS} ~When you're in a bus and you throw away #1000 note instead of gala wrapper. {........Ol'boy , E don red for your eyes be dat! cry} ~When you carry your new girlfriend go Genesis Fast Food in Enugu. She chop pass the money wey you carry, {........ I swear, you go wash plate tire} ~When you lie for girl in a bus say you be army officer, police for check point come ask: IDENTIFY URSELF SIR {......the market wey you buy pass alaba market} ~When you are on a plane and you heard the pilot shouting "Oh! my God" {..... Na prayer for forgiveness be dat.oOh!} ~When your galfriend enter your room and she discover say pant wey no be her own dey for your drawer {...... Guy, just prepare lies wey win Guinness Book of records else you go wear seatbelt ontop okada.} ~When you mistakenly send the love text meant for your boyfriend to your father {....... Chei! You have serious explanation to do if you no want your papa to forget em hand for your face.} ~When you mistakenly pour dirty water with oil from your upstair and em go splash for soldier men patrol motor {.........hmm! Your own don kpeme be dat cos you go suffer like Damaturu cows.} ~When you dey beside a guy in a commercial bus and he says "watch out in the next 30 seconds, the bomb wey I carry go explode.oO!"{.. ...... Omo gbege and catastrophy don tie wrapper for you.oO!} ~When your dad works at NEPA and they take light and you shout "God punish NEPA" and he's there with you {.......Na your mama go start to pay yourschool fees.} ~When you read this joke beside a psychiatric doctor,{...... na ontop psychiatric hospital bed with chains you go find yourself.} 4 Likes |
| Travel / Re: Planning Of Trekking From Lagos To Maiduguri. Pls Advice Me by ekwurekwu(m): 8:12pm On Sep 25, 2012 |
Let's be sincere,if tomrrow,this guy succeeds in his plans with the money and recognition.Trust Nigerians,fifty people will surely trek to Yemen. 1 Like |
| Jokes Etc / How To Get High. by ekwurekwu(m): 11:41am On Sep 23, 2012 |
This how to get high. 1. Smoke 5 wraps of 'igbo' 2.Smoke 8 wraps of 'dried shit' 3. Go for kai kai and monkey tail. 4. Mix like DJ Jimmy Jatt,Don simon and small stout. NB- make sure the sun is up at a high density when applying 'these laws'. You are now 'His royal Highness'. |
| Poems For Review / Changing World by ekwurekwu(m): 11:37pm On Aug 31, 2012 |
We are battered Worn clothes of tattered of republik Our pubic hairs now forbidden before clippers Salt cum ash is better paste Kuli kuli eating with delight Bush lamp light up “Don’t shout up NEPA!” We got no paper for exams We face book while others Facebook My parrot makes noise of twi-twi “Not Twitter” Blackberry ping near girl Ling Youths have gone bananas Wearing swaga However, none answers Kabba Dancing Azonto. |
| Politics / Prof. Barth Nnaji Sacked Or Resigned? by ekwurekwu(m): 8:54pm On Aug 28, 2012 |
Can someone confirm if the Minister of Power has been sacked or he resigned? |
| Poems For Review / Re: $100 Prize To Explain What This Poem Means by ekwurekwu(m): 11:02pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
No need for long sentences, Niger Delta was in the mind of the writer as he writes the poem. |
| Literature / Re: I Need Help With My Writing by ekwurekwu(m): 10:45pm On Aug 19, 2012 |
DarryOsh: Hi, im am a writer, 20 years old and i really, really love to write. I love fiction and i love to create fiction. I have had people tell me i am a great story-teller. But i have a little problem: when i start a book i just get stuck. I have started a number of books now and have dumped them. I just get to a point where i dont know how to proceed and the story just doesnt seem great anymore. I mean, isnt it too early in my career to have writer's block since i avnt really finished a proper book (actually i have finished two books but they are too childish)? I wish i could just have stories and my only task will be to tell them. Unfortunately the stories just dont come. There is no better way to write than allowing your story to develop.You must not write everything in one day, give yourself time and days to write.Don't write to impress, but let your audience feel your expression. |
| Literature/Writing Ads / Re: Macdovemedia: We Need Members by ekwurekwu(m): 10:11pm On Aug 17, 2012 |
funshoolowo: I've sent u all mails. We are about to embark on our first project titled IQ. For those interested in movie directing and production but no experience please join macdove. Let's join our resources to make this dream a reality. Let's produce a revolutionary movie ourselves. The future is here. I am a script writer as a Director, add me ekwurekwu@gmail.com |
| TV/Movies / Re: Do You Have A Good Script? by ekwurekwu(m): 4:36pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
I got a good script.Email me on ekwurekwu@gmail.com |
| Politics / Re: Boko Haram: JTF Killed Innocent People And Not Our Members by ekwurekwu(m): 9:50am On Aug 14, 2012 |
na2day!: Who should we believe? |
| Literature / Re: Calling All Writers Contest 1: A Challenge So Great by ekwurekwu(m): 5:01pm On Aug 12, 2012 |
mkmyers45: Good Evening Nairalanders...I have been nurturing an idea about a friendly writing challenge for Prose and Poetry Writers..I also envision it to be a Monthly Affair (If Possible) Wow!Where is my gun sorry my pen. |
| Jokes Etc / Indiana Jona:brand New Movie. by ekwurekwu(m): 8:02am On Aug 08, 2012 |
 [color=#550000][/color]This is a brand new movie now showing at cinemas starring award winning actor Mr. Jona. ;DThis is a brand new movie now showing at cinemas starring award winning actor Mr. Jona.
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| Politics / Re: Jonathan Has Failed Nigerians - Dokubo Asari by ekwurekwu(m): 9:30am On Aug 07, 2012 |
I said it,we never needed Okija deity to tell us GEJ has failed. |
| Literature / Re: Bloggers! Showcase Your Latest Blog Posts And Get More Comments by ekwurekwu(m): 6:38am On Aug 07, 2012 |
| Literature / Re: Showcase Your Blog/website Here by ekwurekwu(m): 6:36am On Aug 07, 2012 |
I will not be the odd man out.Here is mine, http://www.ekwurekwu. |
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