₦airaland Forum

Shebi you have one free room here on Nairaland. Just relocate online. 9Terabyte, Seun should be able to let you use the room for the next 10years.

Relocate ASAP.

Leave the country and make sure there's no way for her to contact her brother ever again.

Do her parents and other siblings know?

Na so the hunger bad reach for your side?

The mother is supporting her.

At 17 she is underaged and probably doesn't know what she wants.

The tendency for both of you to frustrate each other If you get married soon is high. Your circle of friends will bore her and her circle of friends will look childish to you.

Nobody can control who they fall in love with, but they sure can control who they sleep with.

If you can wait for her to clock 24/25, good luck. But my guess is by then she'll be long gone with a younger guy.

I always like hearing stories like this.

She has acknowledged your gratitude. Frankly there's little to nothing you can do.

Your husband can send his own SMS too. Don't bother her too much. Just never forget the favor she did to you.

One day an opportunity will present itself for you to repay her kindness.

May God bless her and I pray for safe delivery for you.

Chubhie:
Living miserably for the rest of their lives in the name of pity/save-face marriage ain't worth it bro.

She has the option of giving birth,nurture the baby to an extent and leave the baby for her parents while she attempts a clean slate existence.

We are in agreement dear.

Nothing worse than having to endure the hate of someone who is supposed to have your back for the rest of your lives.

Though she shouldn't abandon the children with her parents o. Grandparents are famous for pampering and overindulging their grandkids.

The upbringing of the child should be hers totally. That way the loyalty and love of the child will forever be hers. The parents can help out, no doubt.

Maaamaaa:
I was not desperate for marriage... I'm 23yrs and he is 32yrs

Goodness me!! Why would you do such a thing?

Anyway, what i wrote still stands. People rarely change after marriage. You'll have to toughen up my dear. You'll meet somebody who truly loves you and your child later in life.

In the meanwhile, know that there are worse things than being a single mother. Being married to a man who has shown you he'll never care for you is one of them.

Because eventually you'll meet the ONE, that one person who will love you and everything about you, but you'll be married to someone who doesnt then.

Chubhie:
The issue of honor and responsibility should never be mentioned one mile radius of those two adults cos they both acted in dishonorable and irresponsible manner.

I'm not attempting to hold brief for the guy but an infatuated woman can move mountains to lure her man into lockdown.

I bet this wasn't how the youngman proposed to live his life until the babe crossed paths,moved in and sins of the flesh took root. The guy could only be in it just for the fun and not an entire lifelong deal.

The lady wanted marriage probably from the get go.

My dad advised that if one wants to eat frog,one should go for ones with fat so that when you are called frog eater, you boldly shoulder responsibility.

True they both acted in unsavory manner. The deed is done. It is done. The next step is for the guy to step up and be a man.

When they were both having sex we were not there right? Now that it has resulted into pregnancy, the guy should step up and be responsible. After all, the woman didn't drug and rape him.

He must look for reasons to love the woman. If he can't find any, he must manufacture some.

Otherwise, he's no better than a sperm donor.

If the guy relocates to the US or Europe, he can start his life afresh.

But the woman will always have a child tagging alongside her. A bright neon sign that says "hey, everybody, i once fornicated and the man isnt by my side anymore".

Abeg, the woman should move on jare. Marrying somebody who hates you is the worst thing any woman should have to endure.

Every sex in that marriage will be like rape. No love, no connection.

Imagine being married and still feeling so alone. Not good.

masam:
I still don't understand why people re asking u to leave the guy asap. I say no to that.I simply see colleagues who re dating and and the lady happen to get pregnant. The guy did d honourable thing by accepting to marry her and move further to meet both parents.

Do u think its easy to walk up to both parents as a guy to say u want to marry a lady? You will be drilled and for the guy to still stand his ground means he is not marrying out of pity rather a calculated decision.

Maaamaa, it could be his financial state and unpreparedness that is working him up and not love as u guys posit. Asking u to do abortion is a suggestion even married couples make when finance is not stable. Pls don't leave the guy at ur state now because it won't be easy for you, unless u want to come to Nairaland tomorrow and be asking for contributions for baby food and things.

You guys should go ahead and do ur formal introduction and leave it at that, pending when u deliver ur baby. Love could be cultivated by ur good manners and support for each other.

The guy is not a bad guy from my assumptions and u sound naive to me, pls involve ur sibling and trusted friends before heeding to any online suggestions.

You're leaving out the part where she says the guy hates and despises her. Even without the pregnancy she shouldn't be advised to continue.

Guy is only marrying her because of the pregnancy. When she gives birth what do you think is going to happen?

Broken engagement is better than a broken marriage

Chubhie:
I'm just imaging what would be the man's reactions if he suddenly realises that his case has been tabled and been judged secretly by total strangers who perhaps fail to understand him.

Whatever his reactions are, there is no honor in cheating on your significant other.

Whoever he is and whatever his situation in life is, it is dishonorable to put a woman in a family way and then start blaming her for getting pregnant.

A man shoulders his responsibility regardless.

Reminds me of an advice my dad gave me and my brother. He said "the meat you know you won't eat, you should not sniff at it"

My concern is for the woman who is carrying a human being within her.

Her physical and mental health is way more important than the feelings of the man whose only responsibility so far is as a sperm donor.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Madam, the shame will not kill you.

Oh, they are going to talk about you behind you and point fingers at you everywhere you go. Not just your work place. So start developing a thick skin right now.

But here's the truth, after a while, people will get tired of your matter and look for some other juicy things, latest scandal to gossip about.

If you have good friends, let them help you at this point and accept their support with gratitude.

If you don't have, Well, find strength within yourself and get closer to God.

This is not the end the of your life if you make an effort everyday to be happy.

We all make bad choices once in a while. Nobody is immune.

Be sorry for your mistakes but dont dwell on the shame too much. Move on and be strong.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you because this is indeed the hard truth.

Unfortunately you've made an irreparable mistake of getting pregnant for a man who doesn't love you.

I'll leave the insults to the other commenters who are coming to do justice to that aspect, because truth be told, you really messed up. I get the sense that you are in your 30s and desperate for marriage.

Anyway, here's what I'll advice you to do.

You have two choices:

1. You can go ahead and marry him and hope he will change. The problem with this is that he will never change. He will keep hating you because he has convinced himself that you took advantage of him and slept with him and now you're using the pregnancy to tie him down.

The worse part of it is that he is going to cheat on you either with his other girlfriend or with someone else. For two reasons: he doesnt love you and two, if he was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you with someone else.

2. Your second option is actually the better one, but the most painful and stressful and heartbreaking and shameful.

Call off the wedding. Right now. Dont join yourself with someone who despises and hates you.

Give birth to your baby and settle down to a life of single motherhood.

Painful? Yes! But you will have peace of mind that you dont have to wake up every morning having to think about how not to offend that man.

You will struggle, you will bear the stigma of single motherhood, you will be abandoned, you will be lonely, but if you keep your head up and never give up, bring up your child to have impeccable character, you will smile in the end.

Whatever you do, dont abort that kid and dont marry that man. Tell him that he can go and marry whoever he wants. He'll have visitation rights to his child. Thats all.

I wish you the best.

LastProphet:
see my brother the first thing u must know is that Buhari was a forgotten matter if not for GEJ's gross incompetence and horrible corruption, Buhari was suppossed to be forgotten until GEJ started marketing Buhari with his corruption that reached high heavens. But u see on his perceived performance, he did ABSOLUTELY nothing! Nigeria had NEVER been as rich as it was under GEJ, a barrel sold for up to $130 at a point, go and find out all the OPEC countries made massive savings that period, if not for saudi Arabia's savings the almighty kingdom would have been on their knees by now, same thing Kuwait, etc. Crude price fell under OBJ but he had enough savings to manage it. compared with what income came to GEJ he did complete nonsense, all he did was enrich a few nigerians who remain grateful to him along with those hoping to have joined before sane folks booted him out. And pls am tired of explaining this one to gullible nigerians - having the largest economy is a stewpid stewpid rating to give yourself, please economies are rated by GDP per capita which is why the richest country in Africa remains equatorial Guinea followed by Botswana, these countries have so much income and by the time u divide by their small population they emerge very rich at the individual level. GEJ kept on this mockery and as expected many of his illiterate followers bought it, Nigeria is like a rich man with N10m in his bank with 1000 children claiming to be richer than the neighbor with N1m but with only 2 kids. Look i could go on and on, GEJ was a worthless president, on handing over power he had no choice, there is nothing shameless Jonathan didn't do to remain there, nothing, including approaching the service chiefs to take over, he did it, pls he should shamefully go and sit down. And to Buhari i don't see him achieving excellently but anything was better than a Phd holder who befriended looters, period

You have a good grasp of the situation. Put paragraphs in your post to make it easier to read, so that mumu Wailers can educate themselves.

Arindin.

kinibigdeal:
A lot of youth dont know that Fani Kayode comes from a wealthy background. They allege that he collected 26m from Dasuki and diverted 5m into personal, have he responded to the allegation? Is he guity youth. What about the IMam that collected 500m from Dasuki for prayers in sokoto, his still roaming about the street without any pressure. Nigeria youth should use their head before they talk. If you silent FFK, Fayose, who will speak for the already opressed Nigerias? Some of us are sick upstairs

So you think they are fighting for you abi? Kare. Omo oko. Continue. You will soon understand.

Won leeyan n jale, oni rara o, o kan fewo ni, ko jale.

Keep supporting evil.

Money meant to make life easier for the average Nigerian is what these people are accused of embezzling.

Yet, you the average nigerians, are the ones jumping to their defence. Issorite.

Alakisa n jo loru, bope boya ile a mo lola.

Maa tan arae. Waa po. You will vomit it. All those yams you ate. When you were eating our yams, alakori, you didnt remember to slump.

I still find it difficult to believe that at one point in time of our national history this person actually held the office the President of the Federal Republic.

I feel like puking.

Future generations of Nigerians yet unborn will question our collective intelligence for voting this slowpoke in the first place. Thats for sure.

masonkz:
Read what I wrote again, slowly this time.

Slowly or quickly, what you wrote up there doesn't make sense. Try again.

The comments of people on this thread just ruined the day for me. I shouldn't have opened this thread at all.

Now It's clear to me that lots of Nigerians were born with akamu in their skulls.

Jonathan should be declared an enemy of the state, yet hear the nonsense coming out of his mouth.
Because he knows that foolish people and dullards abound in his country.

dozmok:
was Gej the first Nigerian president to steal in office or did yaradua not survive with what Obj left for him. why can't PMB find his own tactics of survival. only educated leaders can easily find solution to their country's problems than criticizing their predecessor

And only uneducated followers can reason the way you just did.

Haba! Nigerians. How can you be so dumb like this?

joyandfaith:
are u not corrupt?
stealing from pot, exam malpractices, fornication etc?

So because he is corrupt the country should condone corruption? Look at me weeping for you

This guy is a bastard.

masonkz:
Why do people think a gay guy would also be interested in a lady's ass if he gets married to a lady? There's a reason he's gay, and it's not because of the anus. It's just like saying a straight person would have sex with a guy with a vagina, just because there's a vagina there.

Sorry you're not making much sense here.

A straight person will not have sex with another person of the same sex even if that person has the opposite sex's sex organs. Thats why they are called straight.

If a guy has a vagina, i cant imagine myself in any kind of situation with such a person. And a straight girl wouldnt co.e near a female that has a penis. So there...

SisterMe:
My dear, it is not worth the trouble going back to answer your posers, seeing your answer here . First you doubt that the historical records of hundreds of events recorded by hundreds of different people who knew not each other, in different places and at different times was true, then next you go ahead to justify those systemic evils [that demonstrate a foundational fault in the Roman Catholic system] by saying that Christ's church consists of true and false believers - so Christ is such a failure that He can not ensure that only His true believers become the head of His church on earth. My dear, you have a dishonest heart. Even if Jesus Christ Himself tells you these exposes about the Roman Catholic church, you will not believe Him.

Oh Lawd!

You read my post and what you saw was me justifying evil? Like really?

Ok, here it is. The evil commited by Catholics, priests, religious and laity are evil and regrettable. They are to be condemned in their totality and whoever has sinned shall pay for it, in this life or in the next.

Satisfied? Now, does that mean that the Church itself is evil? So you think that God forces people to do his will? Why then was he betrayed by his own disciple. Couldn't he have used his power to know that Judas would eventually betray him If he became his disciple?

Why did God allow the Satan to tempt Adam and Eve If he was going to still have to send his only Son to come and die because of our sins?

Why does God allow evil in the world If he can just destroy Satan and all the bad people?

I assume that you see yourself as not having any sin. You're not a sinner right? So you probably don't need God's mercy right? Your pastor too is Mr. Perfect. He doesn't commit any sin at all same goes for all your other Church members. You guys are all saints.

Let me refer you to 1John Chapter 1 vs 8: " If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us".

To you folks a sinner is an unbeliever right? Because there wasn't any place where I used that word in my post. An unbeliever is someone who doesn't profess the Christian faith like Moslems, Atheists and pagans. A Christian can be a sinner. And here's an example of How your Church misleads you.

In a way, It's a good thing. You know why? Because It's only a matter of time before your pastors screws up and it becomes plain as day to y'all that your pastor can also commit sin. Hopefully then, your eyes will open.

This is the third time im asking for the name of your own denomination. Are you ashamed to tell us which Church you attend? At least you know mine. I'm guessing you attend either deeper life or MFM or Lord's Chosen.. they are the ones who are quick to label a sinner as an unbeliever.

Madam, here's a truth for you. There can be only one true Church, because Christ has only one bride.

Can you confidently say here that that Church is the one you're attending right now?

Your major grouse with the Catholic Church is that her churchmen killed people by the millions and took part in slavery and other scandals etc etc etc.

You fail to realise that even you here on Nairaland can't claim to be perfect. Can you?

Proudlyngwa:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/10/need-n222bn-conduct-2018-census-says-npc/

This is why am calling for a suspension of the census.

I'm with you on this.

SisterMe:
Isorite....it is sad, but you will eventually find out that I was right. But I must add that your attempt to revise well documented historical killings by the Roman Catholic church which even the Pope has apologised for, is really shameful. It is a clear historical fact my dear. It is the reason people ran away from Europe to the New World, America. I can't believe you are denying this. Well Isorite, believe what you will.

Lol. Madam. Here's one thing you should know about history. Not all written historical accounts are factually accurate and some historians have ulterior motives.

Now, lets assume that this actually happened and Church men, bishops and priests became assasins like you want us to believe, does this prove anything and what does it prove?

Did Jesus Christ promise that his Church will be composed only of saints? No.

If you check some of his parables of the Kingdom of God, the farmer who sowed wheat and the enemy sowed tares, the guest at the wedding feast who didnt have a wedding gown etc, Christ was actually pointing to a Church composed of saints and sinners.

If the misdeeds of past Catholic popes and bishops and priests (for example the sex scandal etc) is enough to make you abandon the faith, then i must say that you actually dont know much about the bible.

What would you say to Peter denying the Lord 3 times to his face? How about when they abandoned their calling and they all went back to fishing after the death of Jesus, not to mention the fact that they had earlier abandoned him when he was arrested and put to death.

Go throught the genealogy of Jesus himself. You'll find members of his family tree who were harlots, murderers (David) and so on.

What's my point? The Church established by Christ, the Catholic Church is made up of Saints and sinners. As a matter of fact, saints were once sinners who utilized the grace of God and were able to overcome. (Please read about the life of St. Augustin, you'll understand better)

That's the difference between Peter and Judas.

So If you insist that the Catholic churchmen killed people, it doesn't prove that the Catholic Church isn't the Church of God, it only proves that sinners can get to a high position of authority in the Church.

You want to prove that a Church is in error? Then focus on the doctrines being taught by that Church because that's the only way the devil can ensnare souls. By making them believe erronexus doctrines

You haven't replied my own questions either.

I need you to tell me which Church today is the Church founded by Christ 2000 years ago. And you need to show me an unbroken link and succession to the Apostles.

Also, whatever that Church is, it must never have taught errors in all It's period of existence.

I'm waiting for your reply... and I'd like to know your own denomination.

I on the other hand can show you the Catholic church's unbroken succession from the Apostles.

I'll post here a comprehensive list of

1. All the Pope's and the year they reigned right from Peter till this present Pope Francis

2. All the major Church Councils right from the first one mentioned in the Bible, the Council of Jerusalem till the most current one, the second Vatican Council.

But first, I need your reply to my questions above.

SisterMe:
ElsonMorali

I want to believe you are an honest person that's why you have not yet responded to my post immediately above this one. Think about it, and pray about it. God will show you that my post above is true.

God bless you.

I have responded to your post. Didn't you see it. Must have made some mistake misquoting or something. Was in a bit of a rush yesterday. Check your thread.

*modified# Oh I just saw it. Will get back to you shortly.

Dumb post. Not surprised though.

Amazingcidpro:
she is a wife material, I like her nd I lover her but she is too religious to bang her sef go be war , I have tot about it and I don't want to hurt her nd same time I don't want to lose her , she is so caring nd amazing, and am not ready for marriage ni, she is a wife material nd she has every quality of a good wife but am in the world nd she is in d spirit how we go cope if konji hold me ........at same thing don't Wana lose someone amazing like her

So what's the problem there? Tell her you dont love her. Simple. In fact send her an sms tonight that no need for a date. Youre not into her. Let her go her way before you ruin her life abeg.

I don't have any friend.

Because they're usually a pain in the @ss.