₦airaland Forum

ireke:
He got his job through his in-laws so he needs wisdom and diplomacy to handle the situation.

OP, in my opinion, you're not weak. What you need is wisdom to handle this situation and you need your wife on your side in this matter. There are two parties. Make sure it's you and your wife against your parents-in-law and not you against your wife and her family.

1. Work out some alternatives to this situation. What are you willing to concede and what are the things that are important to you in this discussion.
2. Use the framework of 1 above to develop at least 2 win/win alternatives. This means a solution that will give both parties some of what they want without anybody losing face.

3. Paint a realistic picture of the additional occupancy to your wife. Make it as realistically grim as possible without really putting your self or your interests into consideration. Ideally if you have gotten other things right with your family before this scenario, your wife's interests should overlap with yours considerably and that should give you a leverage.

4. Repeat step 1 with your wife and carefully guide her or carefully chip in your concerns. Once both of you agree on your concerns, work together to develop a win/win alternative similar to what you had in two or better.

Finally, find a way of presenting this alternative to your wife's family in a humble and sensitive manner so that it doesn't look as if you're saying no to their request (don't call it demand).

It's a long and complicated process and I have made lots of assumptions. One of my assumptions is that you have won your wife's trust before now and she believes in your leadership. Another one is that both of you are aligned financially. I have others but those 2 are key.

I wish you all the best.

okomile:
Keep your family away from social media.
If insulted, you will be angry.
I don talk my own.

Happy birthday Madam