₦airaland Forum

Capip120
Mikron
God bless you. You guys are generous and open-mined unlike the op who wants to extort people. #nooffencetruthmustbesaid

DikSin: no mind me jare... I forget say warapa patient like u still dey around forgive my bad, pls

No qualms...just hope the boldened isn't offensive.

sunboy: Now I can see the USA is determined to destroy this country. Just yesterday the military was complaining about the USA blocking their ways that we were blacklisted to buy arms because of human rights violations, I didn't really believed it because we can always buy from Russia, Iran, China and even India who won't wait a second to sell. Now I'm reading about human right publishing this shi.t now I believed whatever the military excuse of laundering such cash. This mu.mu human right people no see Israel on Palestine soil committing anything, the USA Guatemala bay ? The Russian KGB method which was considered the toughest? The Indians torture was sef especially their police. What the mess does the USA stands to gain from a divided or destroyed Nigeria ?
I also strongly believe that I.diot Australian old man is a plant by the western world who's volunteering to talk sh.it he wasn't paid to do. All these doesn't just add up ?
Bottom line: either USA like it or not, petrodollar is going for good, then they can start surviving on their technology and become their dream world largest oil exporter. I'm beginning to dislike that country this days and their puppets media must especially BBC who never publish any good news from the military but look for lope holes. Like the same USA would have brought peace to Liberia suppose Nigeria army didn't single handedly did.
I'm vex.ed

Hufffffffffff...Wasn't easy reading your post. You got a point bro. The US want us to dance totally to their music but it's not gonna happen. That country is so...you know better.

DikSin: 34 weh?
Shey na her football age abi her celebrity age?
Because me I sabi her real age o!

U sabi her real age na im you still the ask?

HBD, Linda! So this is the over-hyped Linda? She's cute. I don't want to believe she's 34 and single.

SMile19: nawa ooo....c post like encyclopedia..my eyes are tired

I tire o. To long to finish, as for me.

Incompetent officials! Why are they blabbing now that the deed is already done? As if the didn't know before now that the building might have fault. Mtcheeeeeeeeeew!

Stupid government. Even as it's obvious that the young man is guilty they still failed to prosecute him. How am i not sure they are allies. Smh for this country.

How about now that this plan is known?

Hmmm...noted! He's not won the election. Why the conclusion?

[quote]How to increase your boredom by Finepaparazy

uzolexis: TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

hahaha...can't stop laughing. Brilliant answers to silly questions.

Nonsense!

To be frank. I'm happy seeing the police on the roadblocks but it's so annoying when you are stopped on the road simply to give them so chicken feed. It's even more annoying when you see a policeman harassing you 'cause of chicken feed as though it's his right. So annoying. I think that should be checked. They, in fact, feel it's their sole right.

GowonAbacha: Don't dare quote me again little boy.

*Shivers* oh! I'm scared.

GowonAbacha: You should understand its all typographical errors due to my way and speed of typing mr man.

Yeah. That's why i made the correction less obvious. I should be getting a 'thank you' instead.

I should be the one sinking english into your silly skull.

Maybe not. Perhaps the other way round as this conversation has made it eminent.

Go to bed. Its time for you to rest your malfunctioning brain.

How is it like? Being corrected by a malfunctioning brain. So shameful.

And mind you, editing someone's post by means of quote is prohibited here. You gotta be careful if you don't want a ban.

maybe you should just turn to a mod and ban me instead.

Goodnight and rest in peace.

I wish you same, dude.

GowonAbacha: And by the way did u ever try to correct my english?

What do you think?

GowonAbacha: What do u expect....it's water logged.

That place is overrated.

Is this for real? *smh* This seems incredible. What does the CAN president have to do with nigerian politics. This could explain why he's mostly seen together with GEJ. A political christian leader! God save us.

Lekki of all places! *smh*

Let's fold our arms and watch how the long anticipated movie unfolds.

RIP to the dead

Politicians...bunch of confused souls.

Nigeria...hmmm

ZACHIE: AFTER ALL it is.

Got it. Some of these words are so confusing.

Aha! Just learnt something today. deft slap not dirty slap as commonly used. Please is it afterall or after all? 'Afterall' we learn daily.

johncozy: yh sir.. hp,dell or lenovo

Sorry i don't have much knowledge on dell. Your choice of brand is good, talking about lenovo. Hp is good though but lenovo is better. For a real gaming laptop, Your budget is so tight. There are alternatives though, like the Lenovo ideapad G4070, hp 250 g2 and that hp g6. Those are the ones that come to considering your budget.

It's like telling 'em to go out naked.

Kind of fell victim. Got 5 'Fs' at first. Had to go back and find the last 'F' in 'OF'.

johncozy: i dont know anything about laptops processor,i only know dier is amd nd intel....i want to purchase a laptop mainly for gaming nd for music production. nd not more dan 80...which kyn laptop u suggest abeg? thanks!

do you have any brand in mind?