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Politics / Re: Sculpture Of Aisha Yesufu By Emmanuel Omoregie, UNIBEN Final Year Student by Ethannathan(m): 10:12pm On Aug 09, 2021
O

1 Like

Politics / Re: Cleaner Lagos: Sanwo-olu Launches 102 Locally Assembled Compactor Trucks by Ethannathan(m): 11:21pm On Aug 04, 2021
Ok
Family / Parents Who Raise Confident, Mentally Strong Kids Always Do These 3 Things by Ethannathan(m): 8:02am On Jul 16, 2021
As parents, we want our kids to feel good about themselves, so we try to praise them as much as possible.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Research shows that there are benefits to praising kids. A simple compliment can generate self-worth and pride. However, it depends on what kind of praise we give, as well as when and how frequently.
As a psychotherapist who works with parents and children, I’ve seen over and over again the negative effects of overpraising a child’s talent or outcome (“This looks amazing!” “You’re so handsome!” “Good job!”).
But these short, exaggerated reactions can cause kids to only focus on things that may harm their self-esteem. They might feel performance anxiety (“If I get this answer wrong, I am dumb”), for example, or believe that they are only appreciated for their appearance (“What if people think I look weird in this shirt? Then they won’t love me”).
So should you praise your kids at all? Of course. But there are right and wrong ways to give praise. Here’s what parents of confident, self-motivated and mentally strong kids always do:
1. They praise the process
When you praise the process (e.g., the kid putting effort into a math assignment), instead of the talent or outcome (e.g., the kid’s natural ability to solve math problems quickly), kids are more likely to develop a positive attitude toward future challenges.
In the 1990s, Carol S. Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford’s Graduate School of Education, studied the effects of these types of praises. In one experiment, a group of children was told they were successful because they were smart, while the second group was told they were successful because they worked hard.
When the two groups were given a variety of puzzles, children in the second group were more likely to choose a harder puzzle. Dweck also found that praising the process made them more likely to feel confident in a task even if they made a mistake.
2. They never make it a competition
Parents love to compare — we can’t help it! And sometimes, we’ll even tell our kids that they’re better than others (“You scored more goals than all your teammates combined!”).
Often, it’s done with good intentions. We want them to feel as proud as we do, and to be motivated to do even better the next time ... but for all the wrong reasons.
It’s not healthy to be trapped in a vicious cycle of competition. Social comparisons can teach kids to always measure success based on the outcomes of other people.
Even worse, according to research, giving kids praise in terms of comparison, in some cases, can cultivate narcissism, attention-seeking behavior and a lack of teamwork values.
The better approach? Encourage them to compare their past efforts with their present efforts, rather than with other people. This gets them into the habit of shifting their goals away from being better than everyone else and toward self-improvement.
3. They use observational language
Instead of saying, “That’s so good!”, you may want to say, “I love the colors in your painting. Tell me more about why you chose them.” (This is what it means to praise the process.)
Another example: Instead of saying, “You looked like a pro riding that bike!,” parents of motivated kids might say something like, “You were so careful and focused while riding your bike. Even when you wobbled a bit and almost fell off, you kept going! That was cool to watch.”
These simple language tweaks can help your kids feel proud of themselves for putting effort into something. It can also make them more excited to take on more challenging things in the future.
Lastly, it’s important to create an environment of emotional safety. If your child failed a spelling test, refrain from telling them they should have studied harder. Instead, ask them what they think they can do to improve next time.
Kids need to know that they can come to their parents not just when they’ve done something well, but also when they are struggling with a specific task or challenge.

1 Like

Travel / Re: Construction Linking Bonny Island By Road (Photos) by Ethannathan(m): 4:32pm On Jul 13, 2021
smiley
Foreign Affairs / Re: Ex-colombian Soldiers, US Bodyguard Involved In Moise's Assassination by Ethannathan(m): 6:00pm On Jul 09, 2021
Ok
Politics / Re: Yoruba Nation Agitators Give FG 7-day Ultimatum To Release Arrested Igboho Aides by Ethannathan(m): 9:23am On Jul 08, 2021
cheesy
Career / Re: What Money-Making Skill Do You Have Or Wish To Learn? by Ethannathan(m): 9:17am On Jul 08, 2021
Web design

1 Like 1 Share

Phones / Re: Let's See Your Phone Home-screen (screenshot) by Ethannathan(m): 11:56am On Jun 29, 2021
smiley

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Travel / Re: Several feared dead as Explosion Rocks Benue by Ethannathan(m): 7:54am On Jun 29, 2021
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Politics / Re: Ijelespeaks Who Exposes Nnamdi Kanu Got This In 24hours - PHOTOS by Ethannathan(m): 7:50am On Jun 29, 2021
smiley
Politics / Re: FG Extends NIN-SIM Verification Deadline Till July 26 by Ethannathan(m): 7:47am On Jun 29, 2021
smiley
Politics / Re: 2023: INEC Launches Online Portal For Voters To Register by Ethannathan(m): 6:32am On Jun 25, 2021
O
Phones / Re: Leaked Image Of The First Infinix Device With Wireless Charging by Ethannathan(m): 6:31am On Jun 25, 2021
Cool
Investment / Re: Chaka Receives SEC License For Stock Trading In Nigeria by Ethannathan(m): 9:17pm On Jun 23, 2021
smiley
Health / Re: Man Commits Suicide In Delta State, Says 'I Will Die Today, I Hate Family' by Ethannathan(m): 12:22pm On Jun 22, 2021
eTen94:
who love what? Nobody loves anybody, na when u get money u go get love but when money no dey u are on ur own, 5years now I left my family cos no money yet nobody brother, sisters know where I live and all of us na d same Lagos we dey, apapa to ikorodu nobody show to even say how far or even call, abeg forget matter
true talk,no money no love
Family / Re: My Husband Paid N580K For My Bride Price But Refused To Help My Family Members. by Ethannathan(m): 5:10pm On Jun 20, 2021
If you brother cannot pay his bride price with his hustle, he is not ready for marriage

2 Likes

Romance / Re: Please Which Song Can You Recommend For Someone With Fresh Heartbreak? by Ethannathan(m): 11:37pm On Jun 01, 2021
Toni braxton - Unbreak my heart. Heartbreak Anniversary - Giveon
We Belong Together - Mariah Carey
Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

3 Likes

Sports / Re: Liverpool Join Sevilla, Others In Race For Onuachu by Ethannathan(m): 6:28pm On May 25, 2021
Ok
Crime / Re: Gunmen Burn Iwollo-Oghe Police Station In Enugu, 5 Dead by Ethannathan(m): 3:12pm On May 25, 2021
Say what?
Sports / Re: Onauchu Wins Belgian Pro League Player Of The Year Award by Ethannathan(m): 5:50am On May 25, 2021
Ok
Family / Re: What Is That Thing Your Neighbour Does You Don't Like? by Ethannathan(m): 8:53pm On May 17, 2021
My neighbor na CNN and home wrecker. She fit use 2hrs walk 5 poles spreading both fake and real news, infact her nickname plenty e.g Glo,CNN,NTA etc. Just come a mile close to our Avenue ask of Any of the above names, them go take u come her house.

6 Likes 1 Share

Sports / Re: Man City Players Celebrate First Champions League Final In Dressing Room by Ethannathan(m): 6:51am On May 05, 2021
Great
Family / Re: Help My Drunk Dad Before He Kills Himself..!!! by Ethannathan(m): 3:58pm On Sep 03, 2020
Can you flog your dad cos he is a drunk and he misbehaves? If you can,I've gat no word for you
MrOjay1:
This is sad.
I suggest you begin to flog your father with cane since he's stubborn.

Cane is the only language a drunkard understands.
It's no use advising him against it because he will surely do otherwise.

If you can't cane him,you can trail him to the bar where he drinks and embarass him and his friends.
Forum Games / Re: Solve This If You Can by Ethannathan(m): 3:21pm On Jun 24, 2020
1 shoe =5 + man and pair of shoes =15 * 1 popcorn = 2(5+15*2)=40
Politics / Re: The Full List Of All The 371 Tribes In Nigeria by Ethannathan(m): 10:44am On Aug 16, 2019
Okpe delta state, okpe is similar to urhobo just like isoko is similar to urhobo
Sports / Re: Nigerian Striker Dele Bashiru Leaves Man City To Join Watford by Ethannathan(m): 6:36am On Jul 25, 2019
Good move bro

1 Like

Sports / Re: AFCON 2019: Who Faces Who In Round Of 16? by Ethannathan(m): 10:02am On Jul 04, 2019
We are going thru
Celebrities / Re: 5 Nigerian Artistes Who Were Once Popular And Why They Left by Ethannathan(m): 12:15pm On Jun 27, 2019
sharpwriter:
OP, how old are you? So Yahooze stormed music industry in 2012 ba? Una go jux dey carry rubbish news upandan. @gistvicreports undecided
Yahooze is 2007

1 Like

Science/Technology / Re: Common Snake In Eti-Osa Area Of Lagos: Is It Venomous Or Poisonous? by Ethannathan(m): 3:20pm On Jun 18, 2019
Garter or Ribbon snake - Garter snakes were long thought to be nonvenomous, but discoveries in the early 2000s revealed they do, in fact, produce a neurotoxic venom.[6] Despite this, garter snakes cannot kill humans with the small amounts of comparatively mild venom they produce, and they also lack an effective means of delivering it

1 Like

Education / Re: "Ant" Trends Among Nigerians On Social Media And It's Hilarious by Ethannathan(m): 8:43am On Mar 26, 2019
Ant wen don change from bad to good - repentant

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