₦airaland Forum

patrickmuf:
I reserve the right to react when I perceive things are going south but definitely not now. You can bookmark again.

Yes.

And we (will) all reserve the right to call out the falafolo-ish behaviour too when you start exhibiting it.

E say na "no tell me what to do". 😂😂

izzou:
[color=royalblue]Very possible

My money
My beer
My liver problems

Like i said, don't throw shades at a man who voted. His business is good governance, not yours.

You didn't even have the balls to stand up from your bed, on that particular day.[/color]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

patrickmuf:
Who are you to tell me what to do? You should know when to curb your excesses.

I am not complaining about the present government so, I have no regrets, I am not you who is neither here nor there, you just swing like a pendulum.

Bookmarked sha.

Dozy is about to overtake Hushpuppy in the game 🤣🤣🤣.



This must be a hard, grieving time for [****] seeing one of his OGs in the industry being taken down. 😪

It shall pass. Take heart and learn from him in more ways to perfect your scheming and laundering brand, ehn? It will NOT end in shame and tears for you, lmao.

May your realm of influence (and ultimate fall) be greater than NL. Isee.

You go dey copy another person topic for project, e reach time to defend am, you dey do falafolo, dey run kitikiti, throwing everybody else in panic and pains.

Everyone has gone nuts with all these names they are suggesting. 😂

Mindlog:
Peter Obi's I no dey give shishi, no reach im wife side o!

If he was a stingy man, e go show for her body.

lahila illallah muhammadur rasulullah!

Twenty five pages!!!

Nitori kiniiiiiii?

Relationship shenanigans ti fo ori gbogbo yin daanu LMAO.

Kiddogarcia:
Una go just dey act for this nairaland,Una too like knacks and me dey sell sex enhancement.


Na we be your best plug for everything sexual enhancement tho

Sell your market, my guy.

DataCrab:
Why is it that the only thing pastors talk about is sex? Is that the only sin in the world?

Or people (read Nigerians) just love the topic of sex too much that they always make any mention of it go viral.

That pastor probably preached for close to 2hrs, and that was the line that found its way out.

Go to any normal church near you and see if it's sex they are always talking about now lol.

This thing is also funny to me because look at May Edochie and Anita Okoye.


From all indications, do they not appear like feminine women? So what went wrong in their marriages?

I went through that IG post and it was all one big yuck.

You want women to be mature and hold their own and also be like the U-22 girls men run after (for manipulative purposes o). Imagine thinking your average Instagram influencer is the face of femininity lol.

I really don't want to go into a judgement zone, but that IG poster must be highly deluded to think girls like Ivy are practicing "femininity" to get a man like Paul Okoye.

And it is also highly insulting to thousands of women out there, to infer that they are not feminine enough because they don't have banging bodies and face cards that eat.

Toke Makinwa and (Tonto Dikeh) also falls in the periphery of this category, are they feminine or not?

Because you can't tell me a Toke Makinwa or a Nengi isn't receiving from men, even if they have other legit sources of income. So are they qualified to teach femininity?

And what kind of successful masculine men are we talking about here?

Sam Adeyemi is as much a successful man as Obi Cubana in their various rights, so which of these two kind of men are chasing soft, U-22 girls who don't lift a thing, to control them?

Do you have to be Barbie-like to attract men of Sam Adeyemi's calibre? Would a man of such character be chasing his work secretaries and house maids? Would a man like him not appreciate an hard-working woman with her degrees?


So, let's not be confusing dogs who have money with men of substance o.

And note that the femininity as described in Folake's chart is different from petiteandfeminine's idea of femininity, as she's clearly painting a picture of a different woman below.

And I hope this poster is going on trips to the Bahamas and Maldives herself. 😑

Persephone1:
I kuku don talk am before say I no wan share opinion o. 🤷

Persephone1:


This question/ topic isn't for me . Lemme just read

Seee, lol.

This topic is HIGHLY subjective, so it'll all just boil down to our differing opinions - and perhaps going back and forth.

The fact that it's a "taught" thing in my opinion is the first foul.

I understand that we learn other things in our lives, sure. We're born tabula rasa, and we acquire values and social norms and kindness, a sense of justice and such. Even years ago, I was not opened to the idea of different sexualities. I learnt to be tolerant and accepting, even if I don't understand it or it has nothing to do with my life. I also learnt to stop insulting people because they can easily beat me up (😂. I tried to be like that on NL in the beginning, but the mad people here outweigh the normalz. They will always provoke, and come for you first).

So I get how the "stuff" that are considered feminine may be taught in that respect, but note that, all the things I listed were not packaged as a COURSE, and being sold to people.

While there are universal stuff that make a relationship work and these could be taught in a relationship seminar/marriage coaching (I mean, after all, we take career courses to elevate our social standing, and emotional intelligence/crises management classes for HR personnel), these things are never presented as a feminine/masculine dichotomy. You don't learn to manage conflict because you're a man, but because you're a leader. You learn emotional intelligence and all that not because you're a woman, but because you want to improve your interpersonal skills and productivity level.

All of those 'feminine and masculine' qualities I can see in that chart up there are definitely admirable and worthy of being imbibed. Now when a woman inculcate those and truly see a change in her life, is it because it's a 'feminine' trait or a positive trait?

It's just like telling someone- be soft-spoken, listen attentively, be present, don't be quick to anger (many of which the Bible generally prescribe) and they actually bring a true change to one's quality of living, and you go away thinking, 'oh, it worked because it's femininity and it's fine-tuned to my nature.'

I don't know any normal woman who wouldn't want a man who is gentle and speaks softly to her😄. Or who is compassionate, considerate, kind, and vulnerable to her.

There is nothing we're doing today that our "ancestors" have not done.

Like primadonna O alluded, there is nothing new under the sun. Everything idea, principles and all are being recycled. We did not come up with these concepts of love, courtship, gender roles, etc. So if these femininity/masculinity stuff are really the DNA of intersexual relations, why do we keep 'losing' them? Our own parents subscribed to these things, the same way their parents subscribed to it, the same their parents before their parents did.

If the great, great, great-grandfather of a lineage was a masculine man married to a feminine woman in a successful marriage, they will give birth to more masculine boys and feminine girls, no? Who should in turn get married to their complimentary parts and produced more masculine and feminine children. My point is, at what point was that "perfect" blueprint lost? People in the past have been there and done that. I don't see how their relationships fared better than ours o, because ills like prostitution, rape, paternity fraud, "cheating" were rampant then o. Our mothers just learnt to shut up and lived with them. If you say our parents did not follow the masculine/feminine outline as they should, please, who did they learn from?

And many of them taught girls our generations too, who are still continuing it.

So nobody, absolutely nobody has the sole claim to their (own form of) femininity being the standard.

You say a woman should let a man lead, alright. A woman picked that and let a jobless man lead. She submits her salary to him, put his name on her properties, pass the ATM card to him under the table and he beat her, and goes frolicking with young girls (see the IG story), and you say that is not femininity?

If submissiveness is a feminine expression that activates the masculinity in a man, why did Osinachi's case and the story above turn out wrong?

You cannot say playing femininity unlocks the masculinity in a man and then say some men are a man-child who manhandle the feminine energy of a woman. So that means, be feminine all you want, it'll never make some men treat you right. But femininity is SUPPOSED to make him treat you right, right? So who is at fault? You see how this is subtly pushing the blame on the woman to be thinking, "oh, perhaps I am not doing this femininity thing, right?" When it is the man with a shitty behaviour.

It is either femininity activates masculinity, no exception—or it is not a fool-proof technique.


And then there's the transgender angle.

Act like a woman, talk like a woman, dress like a woman, be a woman. If femininity can be learnt, and if that's what makes us women, why can a male not learn those traits and declare himself a woman?

That's what the transwomen* I've come across online actually do. They rely on 'feminine stereotypes' to 'present as a woman'.

If a transgender presenting as a woman sound absurd to you, then it should sound absurd to you, too, to suggest to women to present as a woman.

I have never subscribed to gender roles in a conservative sense, and I am still not fùcking with it in a liberal sense.

Some transgenders also say they feel like a woman and have a "lady's brain", and if as a believer in femininity, you disagree with this, why? How can you disprove this since you also believe women and men are fundamentally different, and there's a way to feel like a woman? We should not simply call them feminine men, we should call them women since there's a rules and guidelines on being a woman, no?

If you don't believe that a man can become a woman by doing things women do, then that means doing those things are NOT what makes us women. We're women because we're the female sex. End of.

I'll end with this screenshot from ulxma below- if it has to be taught it's not natural, so we're not going against some grave natural stuff.

Yes, a feminine man would be the least desired because most women have been brought up to desire a 'manly' man; ditto for a masculine woman.

So yeah, while problems might actually arise from men and women not playing the roles expected of them, it is not because of biology but because of the social consequences. It's just a circular logic. I will treat a feminine woman right and maltreat a masculine women, so women are feminine and the man treats them right because of it's what he's come to expect and to deliver.

It is only when we face ourselves individually that we begin to see that we cannot conform to these thugs 100% of the time.

cc; Bukatyne

Persephone1:
I borrowed it from Maggie. . Since the day i read it it got stuck. 😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I knew I'd used the term, but I can't even remember whennnnnnn, lmao.

bukatyne:
In examples 1 - 3, I think you have mistaken indiviual societal expectations with what femininity and Masculinity should be. Read Folake 4u's chart again.

You mentioned something, about femininity starting with taking care of oneself.

So is a man taking care of himself being feminine? Can a man do that? How much (of the time)?

And if you say how a man ought to take care of himself should be different from how a woman ought to take of herself (in reference to the chart Folake posted), does that mean a man cannot take himself out, treat himself, tan in the sun, do things he enjoys and such?


'Cause that pretty much seem to me like "HOW TO BE A HEALTHY HUMAN/live a healthy lifestyle" (something I am working towards being, I should add, lol).

Are the activities on that chart something a man should do once in a while, so he wouldn't ooze too much feminine energy? And then should he play video games, race, repair a car, etc., for his own version of 'taking care of himself'? Mind you, every man's interests will not be the same.

AmazonTopaz:
She is even Mag

Euno iaa, wetin happen to our account na why you dey use this one?

It's been a long time my Queen.

Yes. It's me, your Royal Highness.

It's really been a long while.

Na community service I dey do for this account for the meantime jare.

Interesting discussion here...


I am still reading through, and while doing that, a thought came to me that I felt I should chip in;

On labels.

Ordinarily, I have never found anything wrong with them. It is a natural tendency for humans to want to associate as something, with something.

Even with people who are irreligious or subscribe to some unconventional notions or beliefs, they are still falling within a category.

Someone who likes to talk about how 'different', 'odd', 'misunderstood', 'philosophical' they are is still being ruled by that "need" to feel a-part of a group.

So categorising things (and people) are just our way of easily navigating the world.

Feminist, redpiller, masculine, feminine, strong woman, virtuous woman, boss lady, slay queen, liberal, conservative and so many more like that are descriptors, and different people choose to go by one or more or some of these terms depending on how they view themselves to conform to what these things entail. And I have no problem with any of these in themselves.

Only two things for me is:

We play different roles at different points in our lives with different people. That's basically like all our existence comprise of.

We'd fit into different boxes at the same time. Humans are complex, and so are our thoughts. Labels are okay if they are a means of positive expressions, not negative limitations.

Don't tell yourself, "oh, I call myself this, then I MUST never do this."

Imagine you wanted to laugh, a reflex action o, and just as you're about to do so, you held yourself and say in your head that, "ah. I am a woman. I have to be feminine. I must laugh in a so-and-so way." No. So long as what you're doing doesn't violate some values you hold dear, don't restrain yourself from doing anything out of the scope of whatever term you're cool with.

Second thing, which more or less tied into the first, is not using labels as a crutch.

Like you make your whole existence about one thing. One label. One word. One descriptor. One adjective or something.

So yeah, that's all I have to contribute for now.

We can fit into many "boxes" at the same time while a "box" should not become our whole identity.

It is nothing more than a matter of personal choice, principles and making a statement.

I believe it has more to do with the self, an ego and a bragging right to say, "I have a national honor", you know, when you're talking about yourself or writing a bio. Something image-boosting.

The things you're doing remain the things you're doing and they are relevant in their right. Your contributions to the nation do not gain their validity in collecting the honor. What you've done will still remain all you've done, with or without the honor, so I disagree with his reasons for accepting it.

Chimamanda has rejected a national award (and Soyinka too as well, before you corn children come for me). He has not added to the Nigerian image as much as they have.

With the exception of music/movie awards perhaps, what reward does a (national) recognition tangibly have? If he doesn't accept it, has he lost anything?

And I am not saying it is a bad thing (necessarily) for him to accept, if it sits right with him, just that other people who are more notable have rejected the award and they are okay (personally, and career-wise).

It may have done nothing for them too, but I appreciate the small protest/message they've passed along about the country's leaders doing things that aren't right. Especially when it's coming from public figures with a platform they carry with great responsibility, who've also used their voices to speak truth to power in the past.

To each their own, of course, but I, as a person, admire those who reject such honors.

And of course, the classic one of BEING what you want your children to be like.

I've even experienced this myself when my niece came to stay with us.


I was always preening and making up myself with a mirror, and in no time, this girl has started carrying a mirror up and down, even keeping a compact mirror in her school bag like she keeps her pencils and stuff, and using it whenever she wants to eat.


Same thing with me writing/reading too. I was always doing that and she'd want to copy me. Beg me for a jotter or sheet or paper or any old story-book I was not using again.

Either she's writing "jagajaga" that she understands in it or looking from the storybook and writing the words out.


Her personality may have more to do with her always wanting to imitate me, though, 'cause there are others kids who've stayed with me and never did so. So I know for her, she'll need positive influences and good role models to "mirror".

I also appreciate validating children and their feelings and letting them express their emotions, especially anger. Or frustration. It's okay so long as it's not destructive. It's normal. We get stressed as adults too and we're allowed to let it out and to feel bad.

That shouldn't be different for kids.

This is not exactly an advice I received personally, just a "technique" for dealing with when kids are behaving bad and correcting them. And I've read it from various parents sharing their stories and I think it's one of the best things ever.

If one's child is a bully, for example, because let's face it, we may gush and "aww" about having good, sweet and well-behaved children, but they don't turn out to be so all the time. And not because they are bad, though. They just don't have their judgement well-formed yet.

So I have read the experiences of different moms about when their kids are bullying another in the school for their food, cloth, etc., and they had to make their children "go through" what the kid they are bullying is going through.

If they were laughing at some kid for the kind of food he brings to school, then their mother start making such meal for them. If they were laughing at some kid's shoe, then their mom made them save up their allowances to afford a shoe for that kid that doesn't have.

Another kid was making fun of a kid who couldn't afford to go on a school trip, and then the mother went to pay for that kid's trip while her own child remained at home, and explained to him how he should be grateful for being privileged.

In all of these, the parent did sat down to explain what these children did wrong to them, though. And they also told them why they were punishing them. All done without beating them.


In the end sha, they learnt their lessons and some of them even go on to become friends with the kids they were bullying.

OndoRaph:
Simple! But did she?

And I remember she asked him why PMed her.

Did he mention the reason too?


I don't understand. Why's it so hard to say why you wanted to mail someone? (Even though, he may now take the route of lying about his intentions).

OndoRaph:
When you are sober, check who you quoted then check the OP

OK, and?


Why was he attacking us for not minding our business by not minding his business? Carrying the matter on his head like a hawker?

Of all the people (and guys) who commented on this thread, he went overboard, and that seem a distractingly suspicious behaviour to me.

Like from where to where did the "hoe" word materialise?

Preach, Pastor Persephone!


Preach.

Sixfeetbelle:
I don't see it. Persephone was clearly a lady. Her moniker screams female, so where are they seeing "bro"?

You may be seeing her that way because you knew her already lol.

And for some people, they might just be coming across her comment for the first time. And would never her seen other posts where she's coming from a lady's perspective.

DespicablePeaco:
Just watch!

K.

Suit yourself, bum.

DespicablePeaco:
you will surely regret this, be ready to go toe to toe with me, then let's see who get stained by the mud.

??

Persephone1:
This thread was on page 2 when I left. It escalated so fast.

It could have gone beyond that.

Even me gan, I left.

When I came back, I'd lost my steam and just had to let it go.

Persephone1:
Kindly state the reason you send a mail and stop blabbing

You like quarrel pass trouble. 😂

Persephone1:

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This was just so infectious.

bukatyne:
Don't be sorry; decided to go through the thread and it went down real quick!

As it's always like.

bukatyne:


Apparently, I clicked on her post you quoted on the ladies thread.

I was done and noticed I was on the 3rd page which caught my attention and started seeing pre-wedding pictures and post-wedding fight.

It's my fault.

I just realised.

The conversation was actually happening here, before I took it (Folake's comment) to the Pinkpill thread, 'cause I didn't want us continuing here.