Rub your nipples with better leaves

smilyice:
Redmi 9T, u will get back value for cash I swear

Thanks

Which phone can I buy between #78k and #90k?. Pls recommend good phone with high quality for me. Thanks

Three University guys dodged exam because they did not study They came up with a plan, got themselves dirty using grease, then went to see the Lecturer.
”Sir we are sorry we couldn't make it to the exam. We attended a wedding and on our way back the car broke down thus we became so dirty as you can see". The Lecturer understood and gave them three days
to prepare.
After three days, they went to the Lecturer very ready for the exam because they had studied. The Lecturer put them in three separate classes with only four questions in the exam paper;

1. Who got married? (25 marks)
2. Where was the reception held? (25mks)
3. Where exactly did the car break down?
(25mks)
4.What type of car broke down? (25mks)
Marking scheme: your answers must be the same.!!!
They are still in the exam hall as we speak!

*Lesson : The truth shall set you free.*

Such will be the scenario of the judgment day, we can plan evil with others as a group but at the judgment day we must answer individually for our selves.

But we can solve it elementarily.

Observe this :

∀r r∈R r−r=0 where R is real number
∀r , r=r ∈R
∃ x∈ R
Thus, multiplying any number x with 0 means :

0.x=(r−r).x=r.x−r.x

Now, it is obvious that r.x=r.x
no matter what any of mathematical axiom you invoke.

Therefore,

r.x−r.x=0

and your problem is solved.

BobFischer:


mind you
0 * 3 and
3 * 0 are two different statement.

0 (nothing) * 3 (something) = 0 (nothing)


3 (something) * 0 (nothing) = 0 (nothing).

why isnt it
3 * 0 = 3
0 * 3 = 0

Mind you 3*0 and 0*3 are commutative

SeunOSEWApenis:
Stop masturbation, the semen residue adds to this.

Writer are you masturbating?

duro4chang:
Let us know why your account was disabled. Without that we cannot help you.

What I notice was that I used different phones and laptops to open it and I equally advertised my rabbit production on it.

Facebook had disabled my account for the past two weeks. I was unable to login to my account. The account is important to me. Pls what is the solution or how may I retain my account back?

pocohantas:
I created a thread previously; How To Make Home Made Ewa Agonyin and despite the “criticism”, I am glad it helped some people.

For today, I would like to remind us that we have jollof rice and we have party jollof rice. I don’t need to explain the difference between the two, we all know as e dey go. I get bored with the former, never the latter. I have watched this being cooked a few times and they didn’t put anything special, none that I saw at least, but I never quite got it. Always ended up with sweet concoction rice.

It took me sometime to figure out the process and there has been no going back.

To get this, you have to be thorough and generous with ingredients. There is really no magic.

www.nairaland.com/attachments/11740895_9fcdd30edb384100915fd777e8e92929_jpeg_jpegfd967c6fc5203a749e6281c586ea048c

What of iru ( locust beans)?

One meat is not enough for you during this COVID 19!

StandardJohn:
No, but i think you'll be the first.

Hahahaha...One of the NCDC workers said NO

We were told if an infected person touched table, door handle or even iron that the disease could be there for some hours

Up till now, no mad person has tested positive for Covid-19 and we keep washing our hands.
This life ehn!��������


Or mad person cannot contract the disease?

Kwara, Edo and Abia states have received Federal Government’s palliatives to cushion the effect of Coronavirus lockdown on their residents.

The package includes 1,800 bags of 50-kilogramme rice and 700 pieces of 25-litre vegetable oil.

Secretary to Kwara State Government (SSG), Prof Mamman Saba Jibril, who received the items on behalf of Governor AbdulRahman AbdulRazaq, hailed the Federal Government for the gesture.

He said the palliatives were meant for the most vulnerable in the society.

“We are very grateful to the Federal Government for reaching out to the most vulnerable in our state at this time. Specifically, we thank the Federal Ministry of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development for the gesture. We assure Mr President that the palliatives will be delivered to the intended beneficiaries as we have been doing,” Jibril said.

The Team Leader from Abuja, Dr Abubakar Suleiman, said the palliatives “are being shared to the states on the order of Mr President for distribution to vulnerable groups in this time of global pandemic”.

The Abia State government on Sunday acknowledged receipt of 1,800 bags of rice from the Federal Government.

The government, last week, decried lack of support from Abuja in its fight against COVID-19 pandemic.

A statement by Onyebuchi Ememanka, the Chief Press Secretary to Governor Okezie Ikpeazu, quoted the governor as saying that the supplies would be examined to ascertain their wholesomeness.

The statement added that the state government would brief the residents on the modalities for the distribution of the items.

“On the distribution of palliatives, the governor ordered the Secretary to Government (SSG) to expand the membership of the committee to include transition committee chairmen of local government areas, all honourable commissioners, Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN), traditional rulers, civil society organisations (CSOs), women journalists, presidents general of town unions and development associations, among others.”

The Godwin Obaseki administration accepted the Federal Government’s palliatives to cushion the effects of COVID-19.

The bags of rice were delivered through the Federal Ministry of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development to the state government’s food bank in Benin, the state capital.

Special Adviser to Edo State Governor on Special Duties, Yakubu Gowon, spoke while inspecting the items yesterday in Benin.

He said: “The next step will be that a representative of the Minister of Humanitarian Affairs, Disaster Management and Social Development, Hajiya Sadiya Umar Farouq, will be in Edo State to officially hand over the food items to the state government.”

A mobile court sitting at the Eagle Square in Abuja on Sunday convicted five clerics – three Imams and two pastors – for breaching the government’s lockdown order to curtail the spread of COVID-19 pandemic.

They were convicted by Presiding Magistrate Idayat Akonni to one month imprisonment.

Akonni gave them an option of a fine of N5,000 in addition to a supervised community service for one day.

The convicts are: Imam Abdullahi Mohammed of Gwarinpa Estate; Imam Suleiman Idris of Mobi Close, Area 11, Garki and Deputy Imam Useni Umar of the same addresses.

Others are: Pastor Phillips Olumbori of Celestial Church of Christ, Lugbe and Rev. Moses Chinedu of Mercy City Gospel Centre, Aco Estate, Lugbe.

Addressing reporters after the court verdict, the Chairman FCT Ministerial Enforcement Task Team on COVID-19 Operations, Ikharo Attah, said the various mobile courts, which sat at different locations within the territory, convicted over 73 violators.

On the judgment, he said: “The verdict, though mild, is a welcome development. Those sentenced should be worried because they are now ex-convicts having been found guilty and sentenced by a competent court of law.

“Why has it become very difficult for custodians and enforcers of divine laws to obey national laws that do not prohibit or infringe on their freedom of religion?”

The West African Examinations Council (WAEC) has said it has not cancelled the West African Senior School Certificate Examination (WASSCE) for school candidates in 2020 as claimed by some social media posts.

The council is also not refunding N22,500 to candidates for cancelling the examination.

WAEC’s Head of National Office (HNO) Mr. Patrick Areghan said in a statement that the council had only postponed the examination because of the Coronavirus pandemic and will reschedule once the public health scare goes away.

The statement reads: “Our attention has been drawn to a fake publication circulating in the social media that the West African Examinations Council had cancelled the conduct of WASSCE for school candidates in 2020 as a result of the Coronavirus pandemic and was, therefore, set to refund N22,500.00 to candidates who had enrolled for the examination.

“WAEC, as an examining body in the sub-region, has not announced the cancellation of the examination; it only announced a postponement until normalcy is restored.”

The HNO also said contrary to the report, the council charges N13,950 for the examination, not N22,500.

“The examination fee is N13,950.00 only, not N22,500.00. It is, therefore, not reasonable to refund candidates an amount higher than what they had paid to register for the examination.

“We wish to use this opportunity to reassure all registered candidates, schools and other stakeholders that once the situation returns to normal, the council will come up with a new international timetable for the conduct of the examination in the West African sub-region, after due consultations with relevant stakeholders. Candidates are, therefore, advised to disregard the publication and concentrate on studying hard for the examination,” he said.

“Nigeria has been tracing a total of 6,700 contacts in all; 71 per cent of them have been followed up as of yesterday (Thursday),” Director-General of NCDC, Dr Chikwe Ihekweazu, made the disclosure at the Presidential Taskforce briefing on COVID-19 in the country, on Friday in Abuja. I want to explain COVID-19 mathematically..

I love it too...Yoruba Engineering

By fire by force

U recorded d video when u were crying..Tboss

Pls observe the picture below..and point out three errors

Golf 3, Germany product 1.6valve injector

Here's a simple way to calculate your ovulation period.
1. From the first day you see the blood of your period.
2. Pick up a calendar and count 15 days including the first day of the blood stain.
3. Mark the 15th day with a pen.
4. Mark 3 days before the 15th day, and mark 3 days after the 15th day.
6. You will notice you have 7 days marked.
These 7 days are your ovulation/fertile days also known as unsafe period.
That is if you have sex on any of these days, then you have 98% chances of being pregnant.
7. Do this every month diligently
For Example
1. If your period is 11th July, ,
2. 15 days after the first day of the blood stain will be on 25th of this July too (2weeks after) counting from 11th.
3. 15th day is on the 25th July
4. 3days before the 15th day is 22, 23, 24.
5. 3days after 25th July is 26,27,28.
6. 22-28th July (7days) is when you are ovulating. It is your fertile period.
**Don't forget that the 4 days is a reminder that sperm stays in the female body for about 4 days. Any sexual contact in between ovulation period will form something ...
If you want a baby girl, have
sex between 3 days before ovulation (22- 24th)
Female sperm swim slowly but can stay inside woman body for days without dying off,
For a baby boy on the main ovulation day and 3 days after 25th.(26,27,28)
Male sperm swim very fast but will get weak and die off if no egg found for a while leaving female sperm to finish the job.

Recruitment Into The Ekiti State Civil Service
In furtherance of Dr Kayode Fayemi’s commitment to enhance the civil service, the Office of the Head of Service hereby announces the commencement of recruitment into the Public Service of Ekiti State.
Application forms will be available online from Friday, 15th November, 2019. Interested applicants should note that they are required to pay an examination fee of N1,000.00 only to complete the process.
Prospective applicants should CLICK HERE http://ekitistate.gov.ng/jobs to access the forms and other relevant information about the recruitment exercise.
Completed forms must be submitted online on or before the 25th November, 2019. Applicants must print the acknowledgement slip on the last page of their forms which will serve as their entry pass during the qualifying examination that will hold on Saturday, 30th November, 2019, at designated centers.
Bayo Opeyemi
Permanent Secretary
For: Head of Service

With the unemployment issue in Nigeria, who do you think is responsible for such? The Employers? or the job seekers in Nigeria.

With tweets by employers in Nigeria, they have explained the unemployment situation in Nigeria lies in the hands of the youth, most of the youth of nowadays usually want an easy way out whenever they search for jobs.

An instance of such, involves a situation where an employer puts out job openings and would need immediate employment for a particular position. After such curriculum vitae have been sent by some youths and they are being invited for an assessment test, they would come up with the excuse that they cannot make it on the scheduled dates of interviews or assessment as the case maybe, giving excuses of not attending the interview. As such, the company needs the services of such positions as soon as possible.

So if this is the case who is to be blamed? The Employer or the job seeker?.

Don't kill yourself for worldly things, nothing last forever.
(Food for thought)

Whooping cough

For those who get up at night to inspect the house or urinate. Every person must take note of three and a half minutes. It often happens.

A person who always looks healthy has passed away at night. We often hear stories of people saying: " yesterday, I was talking with him, why did he die suddenly?

The reason is that when you get up at night to go to the toilet, it often happens quickly.

We jump from bed immediately and the brain does not have blood circulation.

Why are the "three and a half minutes" so important?

In the middle of the night, when the desire to urinate wakes you up, the ecg pattern can change. By suddenly waken up, the brain will be anemic and this causes heart failure for lacking of blood.

It is advisable to practice the three minutes and a half, which are:

1. When you wake up, stay in bed for a minute and a half.

2. Sit on the bed during the next half-minute;

3. Lower your legs and sit on the edge of the bed for half a minute.

After three and a half minutes, your brain will no longer be anemic and your heart will not be weaken, which will reduce the risk of falling and sudden death.

Peter Dada, Akure

Social and economic activities were paralysed in Ikare Akoko, the headquarters of the Akoko North-East Local Government Area of Ondo State, on Wednesday as residents of the community protested against increase in crime rate in the area in recent times.

The residents specifically protested against the alleged laxity of the police in the area which led to the escape of an armed robbery suspect in their custody.

It was gathered that the suspect was arrested by the vigilante group in the town and handed over to the police on Sunday but the suspect escaped from the hospital where he was undergoing treatment, despite the presence of policemen assigned to keep watch over him.

The protesters barricaded the Akungba- Akoko-Ikare Akoko road and other major roads in the town for several hours to press home their demand.

The residents demanded the redeployment of the police Area Commander in charge of Ikare-Akoko Area Command, ACP Razak Rauf, for allegedly aiding criminals in the area.

They alleged that criminal activities in the community had been on the increase since the police boss was deployed in the area.

In his reaction, the state Police Public Relations Officer, Mr Femi Joseph, who confirmed the escape of the robbery suspect, said the state Commissioner of Police, Mr. Undie Adie, had ordered full investigation into the matter.

READ ALSO: Police rescue abducted man from Akwa Ibom shrine

Joseph said, “We are aware of the incident and the CP has ordered investigation and any officer that is found to go against our code of conduct in the matter will not go unpunished.”
https://punchng.com/police-aided-suspected-robbers-escape-ondo-community/

FG begins evacuation of Nigerians in South Africa Friday


In the face of the latest xenophobic assault on Nigerians residing in South Africa, the Nigerian government said it will begin the evacuation of Nigerians willing to leave the country.

Minister of Foreign Affairs, Geoffrey Onyeama, who disclosed this arrangement on Wednesday, added that one of the airlines operating in Nigeria, Air Peace, will begin the evacuation exercise on Friday.

According to him, the development is made possible by the Proprietor of Air Peace Airlines, Chief Allen Onyema, who has volunteered to send an aircraft each daily from Friday, to evacuate Nigerians who may wish to return to Nigeria, free of charge.

The government, therefore, urged Nigerians who have relations in South Africa to inform them of the development.

“Interested Nigerians are therefore advised to liaise with the High Commission of Nigeria in Pretoria and the Consulate General of Nigeria in Johannesburg for further necessary arrangement”, the Nigerian government stated.


Source:
https://guardian.ng/breakingnews/fg-begins-evacuation-of-nigerians-in-south-africa-friday/