kpolli:
Simple get a chair and "settle down" on it

Hmmm.... SMH

To each their own. 2-3 is fine with me; enough companionship, easier family bonding, quality education and the best I can provide.

Guess some parents envision the future that some may be doctors, engineers, sportsmen, ... High achieving professionals. That's their hope. It may work for some though.

Threads like this make me sick! The name-calling and derogatory remarks about his wife is unnecessary. Its even more "wack" that he's blamed for marrying a "Church-eous woman" and some losers even suggests he divorces his wife. Like WTH?

OP, simply put, you need to assume the role of the spiritual head of the family. You can't ask her to stop visiting pastors if you're not willing to step up spiritually, accompany her to a living Church and restore her confidence; stating that you're in it together and you love her.

Lastchild

One thing I'll like to add is, sometimes, the spiritual limitation to our deliverance could be the presence of one of these four wicked strongholds; unforgiveness, pride, jealousy and rebellion. If you cast demons out and they dont leave, check yourself. Each time, my over-confidence (pride) sets in, I counter with the word of God - "humble myself before God and he will lift me up".

Another thing is, you may need to focus more on foundational deliverance because demonic spouses are like three branches that sprung from its roots (faulty foundations). Some of us are convenanted to Christ from childhood,we stray and suffer similar attacks. It's even worse because we know the truth and choose to ignore. Though it tarries, God is ever merciful and willing to rescue you.

I enjoyed reading your thread.

It's either your spiritual monitor has been hijacked (you're being manipulated spiritually) or you wake up hastily and try too hard to remember. Then completely forget.

It's not good to forget your dreams. These are a reflection of ongoing and future spiritual occurrences in your life that may manifest in the physical. Pray against any demon withholding your dreams.

kpolli:


This may be painful to accept but I think your friend is very right....

She didn't bring this up immediately, she brought this up much later.... She got a new richer dude, and is looking for the flimsiest excuse to run and has found it... Bro, take heart.... Let her go

Lol. You've started again. You don't know how deep a woman's mind is. Just because she was silent, doesn't mean this dude wasn't selfish.

YorubaJesus:

I wanna ask the ladies here, if u were in the middle of sexual intercourse and it was painful due to lack of sexual experience and you told you bf to stop and he didnt, would you accuse him for assaulting you, would you break up with him, would you continue in the relationship if he proved to you he didn't really mean to and over the next months he showed u that he believes sex isn't everything in a relationship.

I find it a bit extreme that she cast aspersions on your character citing 'sexual assault'. Love is a beautiful thing, but make sure you drum it into her ears that you're no rap!st! Don't apologize for such hefty accusation.

Now, its very selfish of you to keep screwing a lady that's in pain. It shows you're not attentive to her feelings. What's the goal of s$x? - intimate pleasure right? So do you expect her to be pleased each time she goes to pee and it hurts so she remembers you, the guy that caused the bruised va.g.ina?? That pain is not funny.

When next you see her, explain that s$x is just an add-on to your relationship. "You're more important to me than s$x"' ... i love you bla bla. Any experienced man knows this - please her before you please yourself and you'll have the happiest woman on your hands.

She's beautiful.

Naaa...Lately, I seen countless married people (male and female) on wedding trains. One of my friends is going to be a bridesmaid tomorrow even though she is recently married and just had a baby.

easyconnect:
her reasons are: should she wants to travel out next year with her son, she don't want different names thereby making the process stressful in trying to locate his biological father.
secondly, she dont want it to look like she's forcing the guy's name on her son.
what advice do matured mind in the house have to give pls?

No Embassy will query a woman for bearing a different last name from her child. People divorce everyday and baby mamas are everywhere.
The change of names should be her sons responsibility in adulthood. Let him re-connect with his father when he chooses and if he doesn't want to, that's okay too.

Think of it like a conversation. Don't be hard on yourself and no, don't use crazy pick up lines. Ewwww

1. Watch her mood though some girls are naturally mean-faced.
2. Be polite - Hello, can I talk to you for a minute?
3. Introduce yourself confidently: I'm Xixzler, you caught my attention and i just wanna introduce myself. It will be nice to know you. What's your name? - If she responds positively, talk about school, ask more about her - how she spends her evenings, weekends, etc, look around you and talk about anything interesting or funny. (Don't ask open ended questions. let it be like you guys are gisting).

Secret: When you're smiling, its harder to turn you down unless she doesn't like you. If she's rude, walk away! Hope this helps.

Nonso23:
I'm talking from a male's perspective here. It is more difficult to tell off females for men than it is for women to tell off men. We don't get to do that everyday. We are amateurs in that field. A woman's/wife's assistance is better than him walking that road alone.

Sounds like it. But don't you think men love the attention since they don't get it as much as women?
Just curious.

Interesting debate. My emotions will determine how I'll react.

I watched my aunt beat one pretty young girl mercilessly on the streets of Lagos, but guess what? She stuck around! SMH.

carefreewannabe:

First of all, you can close your legs as much as you want.

Excuse you!! Means??

carefreewannabe:
Secondly, if another lady does not and she gets pregnant then the child is STILL innocent and deserves that mother AND father take care of it.

Who says otherwise? Is this a joke?

carefreewannabe:
Thirdly, who says that it is compulsory to abort disabled children? They have no right to life? Are you the one to decide it?

I question your understanding and comprehension skills.
I coherently described two positions and stated that "I wont judge anyone's decision". Neither the father nor the mother. I explained why my friend struggled at court and now, the guy pays peanuts. Her only saving grace is the birth certificate with his name on it. I am not the law.

You asked stup!d questions that has nothing to do with my post. I don't discuss with low reasoning people. This is my last response to you. I suggest you read: Brighter grammar 1, 2 & 3.

I'll take a different view on this topic.

One of my best friends has a baby for her ex-fiance (both Nigerians), but this guy rejected the baby since birth because she was born fully disabled - God bless her.

Now the issue is, he doesn't want to be seen with the baby, doesn't acknowledge her and refuses to support his now baby mama financially. Why?? This is America where competent doctors tell you straight up that your child is disabled before birth. The man wanted her out, but my friend ran to the Church for prayers. I won't judge anyone's decision, but anyways. .. After 6 years, she filed for child support so the dad went to the court with excellent attorneys and told the judge the initial situation and how he suggested an abortion, but she insisted. Just because he never waived paternal rights on the baby and his name is on the birth certificate, he ended up with the responsibility of paying less than $200/month. Chicken change for a disabled child that need 24/7 care.

As women, we get too emotional and sometimes, don't use our head. If we close our legs, we'll be just fine.

pinopino1:
I'm confused on what to do. Can I Sue them? what should I do?

P's: they are diabolical and I'm scared for my life

What should you do is change your dependent mindset. Think about upward mobility. You're young and your baby is just 2 years old ... work on improving your life, garner skills, embrace a hustler mentality and you may be blessed to find an amazing guy that will be a father figure to your daughter.

As for inheritance, you may also call a meeting to express your disappointment in the affairs of your daughter and request a monthly allowance from the properties. If they refuse, count your losses and move on. Some families are too fetish.

Honey, with the kind of immature comments people dish out on NL, please use wisdom in what you take in.

Some men need to be told what to do. He probably sees you as a mature lady that wouldn't mind. Don't cancel out anyone from your life until they know how you truly feel. Express your disappointment to him then use his reaction as a yardstick and measure of his character.

Lolz. Lemme advice you from the mind of an experienced woman.

She wants you to marry her, but she doesn't want to pressure you into committing. Hence, the celibacy talk - "I made a covenant with God bla bla bla". Basically, you're placed on a sex probation pending either a more serious commitment from you or another eligible guy.
I could swear that if another guy comes into the picture, she'll dump your a$$.

Think deeply if you really want to marry her. If not, let her go.

ELLYsian:
People who can afford big weddings are people who have money. Rich people are more likely to divorce because they can afford it.
I think that it is not the wedding that has an impact on the success of the marriage but rather money, which makes divorce easier.

The more money we come across, the more ...

Nicely written, all-encompassing analysis.
Money drives easy divorce. The thought of "I really don't need you and can survive without you" makes it easy to let go.

Seems like Ph.D killed the masters degree.

I believe that a second masters increases flexibility and an MBA can also polish my business acumen. Plus, it 2 years compared to spending another 4 years of my life studying. I don't want to do much research though a Ph.D sounds like bragging rights.

Would you consider it a waste of time and money getting a second masters degree in a similar field, at a top ranked school (M.I.T) but an MBA version of your masters degree vs getting a PhD?

neuralnets:
i'm actually possessive-- i guess that's not bad considering i give her anything she asks for. i spend a good chunk of my earnings taking care of her so she wont look outside. leaving her wont be as easy as every one is saying. shes got her really good sides too. shes very pleasant and courteous and highly sociable. shes does so much-- more like my third arm. those thoughts keep playing in my head. will i ever find a second her?

When I comment on a thread, I barely go back to continue any discussion, but I'll say this. The easiest way to lose a woman is lack of affection. Don't use money or gifts to buy affection. When we give love and respect to people, reciprocity is expected because they genuinely love us. Possessiveness is my No. 1 turn off in a man. I've experienced the same thing all because he's trying to "protect" me.

If you can get past her sins, give her a second chance. From the messages, she's the needy type and likes compliments/attention. Feed her with words of affirmation and spend quality time with her.

If anyone else quoted me, sorry, too busy to be bothered. *un-follows thread*

Hope Nairaland guys learned to suit up for important occasions without looking like bonzo the clown.

Your sister's heart is whats at stake here. She may be disappointed in the end. His relationship with his ex is not "formally over" yet.

Ladies, always define relationships please. Stop micro-managing situations If he's not bold to make you his arm-candy, on-TO-THE-NEXT!!!
He needs to break off with his ex and state that he's with someone else and then, show off his new lady. *wink*

Yeah right!!! **Rolls eyez** By their fruits we shall know them "shes extremely pretty so she gets alot of attention even when im with her". <<--This is clearly your problem. I'll keep saying this: If you can't handle a pretty woman, don't date or marry one. That's not an excuse for promiscuity, but be aware that side distraction will always be there. You are/were her boyfriend, not a guardian angel! Baby girl needed a break from you.

I don't see you as the good guy you portray yourself. You come across as a vindictive, jealous, revengeful and controlling guy. A man ready to build a home forwards incriminating messages to "third parties" and thinks he's justified. Really? Even if she fvcked a priest! If my husband sleeps with a reverend sister, I should forward their messages to his family and entire Catholic Church?

Now rethink this, in the end, what did you achieve with that vindictiveness? ...except your mum asking her to get tested, made your relationship an open book, her mistakes an avenue for humiliation and all kinds of BS all because you were heated? In all your rants to this lady, I'm yet to feel a sincere apology on your part for acting so immature because, of course, her reputation means nothing to you!

Let's assume you're such a great guy, it's either she's loose, hungry for attention or tired of being in bondage so ask her. Your action reduces the bulk of the blame on your girlfriend. Maybe reconciliation would have been easier if you handled things like a grown man would. Maturity in a relationship is not about age or how long you've dated a person. Keep people out of your business. Lastly, you can't force genuine commitment. Forgive her, take a break and re-evaluate your relationship. If she's not willing to be loyal, let her go.

Your love for her seems like an obsession.
(Let's agree to disagree).

kpolli:


Due to the circumstances surrounding this phone.... Maturity has nothing to do with collecting the phone back....

If you paid outright for it, then I would have said leave it but as broke up 2 days later and then you are paying gbese on a phone. Plus she even has a new bobo meaning she had him before you broke up....

Ogbeni collect that phone, the new bobo should be the "matured" one

I think the best way to get it from her is to schedule a meet up to finally "break up in good terms". when she gets there, tell her straight up that she's now another man's responsibility so you need the phone back. If he texts or calls her to return it, I'm pretty sure she'll snub him. lol.

On the other hand though, she never asked him to commit himself to this mess.

You may be the kind of lady that won't ask, but expect the man to know his responsibilities. Right? Honey, even the Bible says seek and you'll find. If your desires are not explicitly stated, there's bound to be miscommunication. When you read online that communication is key, it really really is true. Sit him down (or if you live part - skype/facetime) and let him know your concerns. Don't get into a marriage hoping for a change ... it ain't gon work!

Don't cancel this marriage plans yet. I was in a similar situation except that my ex had a ridiculous sense of entitlement whereby things should be done for him because "he doesn't have as much". I know he stalks my NL account so I won't give much detail.

A wise old woman once told me that my two priorities in a husband should be
(1) A man that has my back 100%.
(2) A man that's not stingy. Frugality can be tolerated, but stinginess is a no - no. It's not only about money, but how sacrificial he is with his time, love and concern for others.

New Edition - ♪♫ If it isn't love, why do I feel this way, why does he stay on my mind ♪♫

[url]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReI6gvzVP0Y [/url]

kpolli:
SMH

Hahaha....Kpolli. I almost died when I saw this. See why NL anonymity is treasured?? One guy has been giving me headaches.
How you been? Sent you a text msg.

RedEboe:
even if he fakes some kind of initial understanding towards this sudden lifestlye change, he will go get 'regulary help' from outside and simply designate you as his trophy babe...before leaving you eventually.

Sad reality of life.
Last question : When a guy always has a hard on around me, is it indicative of a man that may have a wandering peni$ (womanizer) or a guy that cares about se$ only?
I don't mean to ask numerous questions. These are genuine concerns buried in my chest that want out.

RedEboe:
Let me guess, he's pretty RICH, right?-no shame in that.

This guy is just blocking your progression towards other more useful (and emotionally balanced) men.

The emboldened got me laughing!! Ha ha ha
Well, its really not about now, but financial security in the long run, yea. He's the first guy I've dated that's way above me - in terms of career, finances, education, similar backgrounds, ...all that.

Question 2: When a guy talks dirty during s$x, do you think its disrespectful? ... I don't wanna embrace a feminist perspective on s%xual objectification though I think its somewhat degrading or maybe I'm not open-minded??

Question 3: How would you handle a girlfriend's sudden decision to be celibate? Or a non-V taking a stand on celibacy in a new relationship? (assuming you're single)

I appreciate your feedback.

My question:
How do I handle a situation where a guy I'm seeing honestly tells me that "beautiful women are one of his vices"? We both laughed at it, but it stuck in my head like glue because I don't know any of his female friends. In other words, if he loves women that much, where are they? He's always texting/chatting and since I don't wanna grill him, it gets really uncomfortable for me.

Not bragging, but I encounter lots of men and hold my own quite well. I'm 20-something in my prime (you know what I mean). Mr. X knows this and only steps up when another guy is in the picture.