₦airaland Forum

Beautiful, congrats

This isn’t true we aren’t sexually frustrated here in the states. Some girls date you, some girls reject you. It may not be as easy as it is in Nigeria. But we’re not sexually frustrated. Some girls here really like Nigerian and black men.

Asquare84:
Our police is trying to hide the American citizen from camera and displaying Nigeria citizens to the world.

The woman probably politely asked them not to show her face to save embarrassment. And since she’s not the criminal, they respected her wishes. As for the yahoo boy, well you already know.

PastorAIO:
I'm glad that I've finally heard somebody else make the same observation. I have thought about this for many years.

There was an old medieval Arab historian and scholar called Ibn Khaldun who wrote a book called Muqaddimah in which he discussed the patterns of history. He said that groups that are on the rise, that are about to take over a town or a country have something called Asabiyyah.

Asabiyyah is often translated to English as 'group feeling'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asabiyyah

He said this asabiyyah is formed while the group is out in the wilderness where life is hard and the only way that one can survive is if one is part of a group with a tight bond. The bond they form is what gives them strength and superiority over the other clans and groups. After they have entered the city and conquered they start to indulge in luxuries after a few generations. The asabiyyah weakens and subsequently they in turn get overthrown by another new group coming with a stronger asabiyyah.

I wondered why we have such weak asabiyyah as africans. I came to the conclusion that there are certain cultural traits that make it hard for us to cohere socially and to even risk our lives for our fellows in the group.

1- The privilege given to Age and seniority in our societies. I think privileges of any kind in any society is dangerous. Progressive societies are based more on Merits than on privileges. Once the laws of social decency and morality are not applied evenly across Society it causes the members to become cynical. In Nigeria you can be arguing with someone over a matter and you are in the right, but all the other person has to say is " am I your mate? Abeg gerrout of hia." And that's it, you've lost the case regardless of how justified you are. Who in their right mind is going to take the laws and mores of such a society seriously. It starts with age but soon extends wider to people such as the rich. once you know the laws are not applied evenly then the laws are not respected, they are seen as oppression of the privileged towards the underprivileged. Who will truly commit to such a society?

2-Trust, or the lack thereof. We do not trust each other so we cannot have social cohesion. How can you work from dawn to dusk for somebody and when it's time to pay you the boss starts to mess you around. Come tomorrow, I don't have time, this and that. This too is an extension of the value we give to privilege. It allows those we call Oga to betray our trust without consequences. Sooner or later Trust starts to disappear.
There are so many functions in a viable society that depends on Trust. If you cannot even trust that you'll get your pay at the end of the week then why work? It puts everybody on Short-Term-ism mode, looking for what they can snatch immediately. Yet to build anything of great value we need to think Long Term. We need to be able to make plans: 5 year plan, 10 year plan, 30 year plan. Everywhere else in the world you hear about such projects. In Nigeria, as Fela sang, everything happens Just Like That.

3- Polygamy! This one has generational effects on us. When a child is raised in a Family full of step mothers with each mother defending her own corner against the other mothers it creates a family environment that is vicious. Since the family is the most basic unit of society, the experience of domestic life will be carried out into the public sphere. If you grow up constantly embattled and not trusting your family at home, is it the stranger in the market that you will now trust? Thus poorly managed polygamy over many generations has created a mindset that makes it hard for any significant amount of Asabiyyah to flourish.

This the Nigerian mind, constantly in a state of embattlement. Even in church sef all they do is pray against enemies. This didn't start with church o, it's been the practice from even the pagan days. This constant fear of witchcraft, juju, family members from the village attacking you etc.... This is not the mindset of people who can come together and form an asabiyyah.

These are some of my brief thoughts on this interesting subject matter.

Thanks sir, for your input. It does seem that we have very low asabiyyah, and for those reasons you described. Africa is generally communal and collectivist compared the European culture, so it baffles me why we have such low asabiyyah or group intelligence.

Our church should be the one to unite and bring us together, but it’s done the opposite with propagating all sorts of paranoia and superstitions of village people and family members conspiring against you with juju.

The culture and effects of polygamy also doesn’t help. That’s probably where some of this comes from, that’s a good point that I never thought of. Our parents/grandparents at a very young age saw their family members half brothers/sisters are competition rather than family. She has a different mother than you, so already there is competition.

We need to fix these ills and problems. It’s the number 1 reason our country is the way it is. Our politicians carry this lack of patriotism mindset to office and end up screwing the rest of us over.

Although it is true we are young nations and it takes time. It took Europe many centuries to get to where it is now. America used to be a poor like us throughout the entire 19th century. It took America over a 125 years to progress. The Asian countries are the exception, they got their acts to get right away and didn’t waste any time.

The Asians suffered decades of disrespect and discrimination like us and got their acts together right away. We need to start getting the ball rolling. And that starts with self-love, patriotism and unity for all Nigerians regardless of tribe, gender, religion, what country they live or what country they were raised, socioeconomic status, skin tone etc

Lalasticlala
mynd44
Dominique

We need more topics like this in Front page

Nigerians are a highly intelligent and brilliant people. Our people are very blessed. But we severely lack group intelligence. That’s why in Nigeria it is the Fulanis(who have very high group intelligence)ruling and not the southerners.

In America, despite our numerous individual successes and having high percentage of college educated, masters and PhD holders and being engineers, doctors, nurses, accountants and I.T professionals, other groups belligerently and outlandishly attack and poo on us an get away with it.

Insult and lightly disrespect a Black American, all Black Americans will not care if he’s mixed, or what state of the country he’s from or whether he grew up with white or black people, they will move in droves to protect and defend their fallen comrade. And the whole world will shake and quiver and give them their justice.

If it was a Nigerian, Nigerians would be denying him justice and won’t help their own, is he from my tribe?, oh he lives in abroad, oh he’s a different religion, he didn’t grow up in Nigeria…. And so on. Under normal circumstances any group of people would oppose a man like Trump that marginalized and insulted their people. But not Nigerians, while we were getting deported on flimsy reasons, Nigerians back home were shouting hail Trump! All immigrant groups countries were supporting their people whether it be China, Mexico, when Trump was messing with their people in America, but not us.

See how our men insult and troll our women anyhow always speaking bad of Nigerian women, wheres the patriotism?

You see why our country is the way it is We need unity, self-love, respect and love for our people if we want to progress. Our politicians who come from us, carry this lack of patriotism and lack of self-love and embezzle our funds.

Everything starts at the grassroots

It’s true, see how blacks threw that Nigerian basketball head coach for the Celtics under the bus when he got suspended and his career jeopardized over the flimsiest reasons. A reason that wouldn’t earn a non-African any sort of discipline

Although, blacks throwing him under the bus, had more to do with the tension between Black Americans and Nigerians, so the Black Americans and whites ganged up against him. But disappointed Nigerians didn’t come to his defense. It’s our lack of unity and self-respect that causes other races to poo on us.

ibkayee:
Ok so the black British population is made up largely of Jamaicans and Africans. So 1st/2nd Gen black British people tend to be descendants of either two.

Black British men date outside their race at a higher rate than the women (there’s a layer of topics like colourism, self hate etc that’s a factor but that’s a discussion for another day lol).

Also even though the women tend to date out less, there’s a stereotype that when you see a black woman with a non black, on average they tend to be of ‘higher quality’ than when you see a black man with a non black partner. Take from that what you will. Also, I said average so I hope I don’t get someone quoting me telling me his cousin’s uncle’s son is married to a bad bitch etc

Jamaicans tend to date out at a higher rate than Africans, there’s a large mixed race population and more time times than not they’re the product of a Jamaican. I’ll zoom in on Nigerians instead of just saying Africans, Nigerians 1st/2nd gens tend stick to their own compared to Jamaicans, both men and women. But of course, out of both genders the man is more likely to date out than the woman

Oh ok, thanks, didn’t know

LastProphet:
Which beauty standard? 9 out of 10 white girls are ugly, I said 9/10, so where's the standard? Actually the White girls are delusional which is a known fact. A fat average white girl still believes she can have Michael Jackson so tell me where the imaginary beauty is? I live here and I'm telling you that Nigerian girls are farrrrrr more beautiful than American girls both white and black. This nonsense has to stop

Yea Nigerian girls are very beautiful, and so are Black Americans
Nigerian girls and Black American girls are my favorites

White girls are not in any way ugly at all bro lol.

Papilagreen:
Don't believe the stupid lies we peddle on here about white woman loving black for our dick game. It's a lie. If you ain't 100% attractive to her, your dick game doesn't matter. You need to be tall too, because their men are really tall. You can't be 5"9 and be expecting any reasonable result scoring a white chic, it ain't happening

Bro if u say na UK I fit agree with u. But not here in America.
Because I am a living testimony to what I am saying.

Now about the hight aspect I will boldly say this than 89% of American both men and women are short not tall so hight is not a requirement for relationship here cause na them short pass.

Second women plenty pass men here to score a lady here in America is very very easy it's not basically about the dick game.. it's about ur composure also we Africans our blood dey hot the way we dey toast babes for 9ja different from how they do it here. I had to learn the hard way here B4 I get the hands of it.. u fit text woman u dey chike here and e go take her hours to reply u not because she dey form she dey busy dey work to pay bills.. if u dey go run after all those 19 to 26 years babes na waste of time go after older ladies from 28 upwards and u won't waste time..
Babes plenty here and men too even divorced people some dey 5 years dem nova see person wain toast them so if u get talking with them they feel like they flying.

I don't know about the men but one thing I can Say for sure oyinbo dem dey shy and fear blacks na few dey bold to walk up to u start Convo but if u walk up to them straight up let them know howfar and dem open up to u trust me na u go tire cause dem dey do weird things na their way of life be that.

Also them like black people not African Americans ooo the one wain come from Africa. Once dem know say u come from the motherland e don finish.
But one thing I will tell u is this if dem no like u dem dey tell u straight up dem no dey play games and if dem Say no just waka ur own.. u no need impress them in anyway cause if they down they down with u..
Na sharp guys and babes know what's up the only way u fit see oyinbo babes na for target shoping mall or big hospital or foodmall aside that e dey hard if na for school environment just forget am..
If u wan get them fast just register for Facebook dating and it's done.. and finally, no be by good dressing dem dey take catch them. If u say dressing is a requirement then I no agree with u on that one if u like wear the best cloths look smart it hardly counts. For here onyinbo dem dey wear nightwear go class even go work self dem no send na simple life. Unless una wan go on date u gats need dress smart.
Forget tinder or blk bumble etc Facebook dating dose the job just right

I don’t understand, the bolded, explain more

ibkayee:
Loool

Welp, what I will say is Nigerian women don’t tend to expand their dating pool beyond Nigerian men and aren’t generally interested in oyinbos so it’s strange that white men are the demographic that the OP is focused on for his ‘case study’. They don’t really bother looking ‘outside’ because of compatibility reasons. Also white people aren’t the only race abroad.

As for the men, I am of the opinion that they tend to expand more than the women, but let’s not lie to ourselves, a lot of the time it’s for papers so they end up settling for the less than desirable ‘oyinbo’ women.

The ones with citizenship and a stable lifestyle that don’t need to ‘hustle’ may venture out too but most also end up with Nigerian women, for compatibility reasons too. Again, let’s be honest, Naija men expect/demand very specific things from their women that they know won’t be tolerated outside so this is also a factor in addition to cultural compatibility. Hence why there’s a trend of some running home to get someone from their village when even the Naija babes have has become too ‘westernised’ for them.

As for hooking up, the dating culture is different abroad. You can get sex but I don’t think it’s in the transactional way that Naija men back home are used to, people have casual sex because they want to or they’re just fond of the person. It’s not something viewed as ‘cheap labour’ like back home so you’ll have to actually work for it to an extent outside of enticing them with money. Your ‘investment’ is more social than monetary and that may not be a dynamic the average Naija man is used to/has the patience for. Plus, Naija men aren’t really on anyone’s radar except Naija women and maybe some Black Americans so you actually have to be somewhat of a decently impressive (in whichever way) individual. Of course alternatively there are actual paid sex workers.

I’m talking about Naija men and women who were home based and then japad. Things are a bit different for 1st/2nd gen Nigerians

How is it like for 1st/2nd gen Nigerians for both male/female?

……

Very nice

Nice

.

panafrican:
That LGBT Wannabe White press secretary is discriminating against us.
Told you, too many of these folks who prefer calling themselves "Brown" ( Not Black) are extremely beater against African immigrants. Four hundreds years are good enough to burn those brain cells.
It is better to pity some people than getting mad at them
Look at her messed up face . Confused as hell.

And the lady, sef is even Haitian. Haiti is just as poor as Africa, and here she is looking down on us.

These pictures sha

They have a very close mother to son relationship


That’s all I’m going to say

Ambrose Alli has been Edo’s best Governor, followed closely by Ogbemudia

SmartyPants:
Op please be reasnable. You are posting on nairaland for all nairalanders to see but how can we appreciate the content when we have no idea what was posted?

It said it in the article, the translation is
“SU MAMA, THE POOR PEOPLE'S MONEY HAS BEEN EATED"wink

Kobojunkie:
Jesus Christ is not for everybody.. He made this known to you all abeg!
He told you that He came to give rest to those who are tired from the heavy burden of life and living. This man tell you say he is tired or what?

No he loves you. He came on the cross to die for your sins so you can have eternal life. Anyone can become a Christian and be saved

Romans 8:38-39
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height
nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


Romans 10:13
New International Version
13 for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”[a]

He needs to find Jesus Christ fast. Jesus is the truth and the light and the only way to salvation.
Great countries are built on Christianity. Nigeria is a heavily Christian country, with time the Lord will bless Nigeria in abundance. Remember the Israelites were in bondage in Egypt for 400 years to no fault of their own. And then God led them out of Egypt to the promised land

timesuploaded:
America is the capital of depression that's why we must bring all Nigerian living there back to this great country. They are all two seconds away from suicide

Yes ooo. We need to go back and help build Nigeria

Starzo:
go to YouTube. the evidence is there

Women from other countries are constantly singing the praises of nigerian men

I'm yet to see any man from another country say anything nice about Nigerian women

If Nigeria is developed super power, Nigerian women will be just as desired globally as white women. Nigerian women are extremely beautiful and attractive and cultured, ambitious. They may not have the big curves like SA women, but white girls who are also attractive are not known for their booty(although I feel they have good bodies)but are still the most desired.

This is very pathetic and disgraceful, the way Nigerian men insult and shame Nigerian women before the whole world. Very shameful behavior. You’re supposed to lift up and embrace your women not put them down. Protect your nation, women and children.

Hopefully Peter Obi can change this narrative. Blacks really need to be more united. Whether we’re Nigerian or Black American or Ghanaian, Jamaican, Kenyan, Haitian, South African or African, Caribbean. We’re all black of African descent. Let’s love and embrace one another and stop fighting.

gracealonev:
30 days in prison for spending 30 minutes in the toilet.
Haba!
Black lives should matter everywhere.

When people around the world campaign and support Black Lives Matter, they’re talking about Black Americans. The world doesnt care about us. Although one of the founders, who is a Nigerian really deeply cares about Nigerian and African immigrants and even set up a separate organization to address the concerns and issues of Africans.

Congratulations!!!!!!!

SunTzu123:
They are not "proudly Nigerian"! They are US citizens now! most of them are born there. They will never mention their Nigerian ness; it will become a political disadvantage to them. They will not come back to Nigeria again. So why are we claiming them?
Let's build a Nigeria that such people would want to relocate back to. Until then, abeg leave them to enjoy their dreams

Why would it be a political disadvantage for them to mention their Nigerian ness? What’s the reason?

NaBanga:
They are not more "African American". They are Nigerians. Nigerians have been almost banned from every place in the world, yet African Americans can travel anywhere in the world without issue. There are certain groups of Nigerians that like to make noise, throw money and be praised. However a Nigerian is a Nigerian in the eyes of the world. The average Nigerian needs to be reprogrammed for sanity.

May God bless you in all ways

Elfree:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxHcU-G7JB0.

The children of African immigrants in the West specifically America, even though born in United States aren't viewed as full Americans. And as well as disconnected to the root the home country.

They're neither here or there just hanging in the balance. Their parents needs help establish them in their native countries where they've ancestry and family roots they can identify with.

They can't afford not to this before their death and these children are permanently disconnected from the families in Nigeria.

Yes you have a very valid point. First generation Nigerian Americans really need to connect with their families back home before it’s too late. The only people to do that is their parents and close family members. I’m so surprised by the lack of vision and understanding from other commenters here. But your right.

It’s tougher to do with the dangers of back home. But Nigerians in diaspora especially in America need to teach their children the language and the culture and connect them with back home. They need that base and support and culture or else they will be in a lonely cold country being discriminated by the different groups in America, You already see Black American hate groups like ADOS and FBA, Black Hebrew Israelites starting this harassment

Lifeiseazi:
Amen � and me too.

Lol, amen. May God bless you to and answer your prayers