₦airaland Forum

Bribri:
I really like the way you standing up for your sister. That been said, been a single mother can be quite tough. I suggest she pend it and observe further. A marriage shouldn't start on this note.

Alright.

I really appreciate your contribution 🙏

Beverlyjean:
Look at this failure that calls himself a human being... u that u can't feed 2 times a day ... I know hunger has fried ur brains out... u think he's ur fraud that now depends on penalties to score in important games , just like an old man needs drugs to keep living ... Argentine FA have been busy sourcing for cheap countries for the fraud to stat pad ...below are the last 8 friendlies they played that are marked red...while the ones marked blue are the ones they dubiously awarded them penalties to win games at the World Cup... we know fifa has been pushing Messi agenda like usa is pushing LGBTA agenda

Even Penaldo know say e no near Messi level.
Only his fanboys think otherwise 🤡

forerunner022:
Truth is, if your sister continues with that guy on that faulty foundation that is cemented with the lies and deceit, she should expect to see more of such shockers from the guy, because it is obvious the guy is dishonest and cannot be trusted. And yet, if she walks away as a single mom , it will have telling consequences for her in the future except the Lord sees her through. In all, and whatever the option, it is like chosing between the devil and the deep blue sea. The choice is left to her.

Hmm

Thanks for your contribution

President2001:
There's nothing to panic for the first marriage did not hold is now depends how your sater handle the issue though the trust she has in her husband has been betrayed notwithstanding she can still put herself together

Alright.

Thank you very much

MechanicMike:
Then she needs to keep the baby sir...truss me!!

Please throw more light on your reason, it can be helpful

frozen70:
I think the most important thing is, is this guy responsible, will he be there for your sister or he will abandon her same time ay he did with his first wife

She needs to do a discreet investigation about the man and his wife to be sure both of them are not doing stupid hide and seek game that will finish your sisters heart

Secondly he has to explain to her in details what lead to their separation and are the going for a divorce or they are separating to come back again in future

All this can be done while the bride price date is on going

If she is sure that the man has ended his relationship with her and they don't have hope of coming back again, she has to embrace the children and accept them

But she has to be sure that he will be there to train the children and sponsor their education

Not that he will leave them for her and start another relationship behind your sister

Her discreet investigation can be done behind the man so that she will get full details about him

So that when the man starts telling lies, she will know how to track him

Alright.
I appreciate your contribution

Raymeg7:
Yes he made a mistake best known to him the reason, but u said his nice guy, why would she leave because his married before, she has known so forge ahead with the marriage, or dose she wants to be second hand woman to another man, that is not a good reason to leave the man,

I beg tell her to continue with her marriage plans, he made be the type that don't like to discuss his past, not that he wants to keep it, just that maybe he don't want to remember such marriage again, please let her accept those kids as her own, she won't regret it

Alright

Thank you very much 🙏

gloryhomemaker:
A complicated situation, she should take out time to think and come up with what she really wants.

She might regret other people advise later if it's not favourable and hold resentment against them.

True.

Thank you very much 🙏

okerekingsley90:

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

MechanicMike:
my nigggggga . this is commmon sence. she stays.... is she lightskin?(no oofeince)

Yes she is lightskinned.

Why did you ask though? 🤔

TsbAfrica:
Men this one is tough o... Becasue the secret for this long is a very red flag, who knows what else is hiding in his past ... But then again if the children from previous marriage is the only cause for concern then she should stay with him... To give that child a stable foundation ... Men it's a tough one... I am only seeing it from my perspective which Is very inadequate giving that I have no risks involved.

Alright.

Thank you very much🙏🙏

Zonefree:
No one is forcing her to accept anything. Stop using the word "force" here.

I guess you wouldn't want your daughter's first offspring to grow up without the love and presence of a father, every young lady desires to start a fresh family with a young husband, without having to worry about sharing her husband's affection with children from another woman.
It would have been very easy for her to end everything and go away if she never had a child at all.
Thank you for your time.

Savedday2:
The truth is, ur sister already saw the signs B4 she got pregnant for him but her greed for money won't allow her think.

It is only in 9ja you can Bleep 1st daughter, 2nd daughter, 3rd daughter and their mother together all you need to do is show them money.

The funny part is that, when they all get pregnant for the same man, they will be seeking for advice from NL

No she didn't see any sign before then, she was already an entrepreneur who was staying on her own, fending for herself and school, she even helped me with finances in my final year in the University, so she wasn't lured because of money, he merely toasted her like every other guy and he looks quite young.
She even took extra step to go stay at his house for two weeks in Abuja, just to know more about him, and he introduced her to basically all his colleagues and friends, none of them showed any negativity.

She was just an innocent victim which at this point is quite unfortunate.

olamydey:
No need to rush anything at this moment. She should cancel the traditional wedding immediately till she gets a clear direction. He cannot be trusted. Its so unfortunate that she was dragged into this in her ignorance. Turn to God for help and wisdom because It's going to be a long ride.

Alright.

Thank you very much for your time🙏

Zonefree:

How is accomodating your husband's kids traumatising?

Men do marry single mom with kids, accommodate and train them without using the word "traumatising".


If your beloved sister should take the first option which is, "Leave him and become a single mother at her flower age"...when she finds love again and wants to marry, don't you think it would be traumatising for the potential husband to accommodate her child?

Make una dey use una senses for this country!

I didn't mean training the children will be traumatising for her, of course he will be responsible for their upkeep.
I meant that the shock of having to be forced to accept what she didn't plan to live with will actually be traumatising for her.
Of course I will personally advice to treat them nicely, because the man himself has been really nice and responsible to her all along.

Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

Please how can I create a nairaland thread?

To my sweet Dad:

It's been 21years since you left us.
You left myself and my siblings when we were still very very young, we didn't really enjoy the privilege of having an Earthly father, it was sincerely hellish for us all, but God has indeed been faithful all the way; despite the challenges and struggles!.

God helped me all the way to eventually become the Lawyer I was always telling you about back then.

Happy father's Day!

Dad, continue to rest in peace with the Lord

triple996:
some people will not like this news .
They will be shouting that there are no Igbo Muslims in existence

This one you are masturbating over this news, are the Igbos no longer IPOB?

I'm not Igbo, but I noticed the hatred and double standard that most people have towards them..

I guess it's so because of their total rejection of Islam and the difficulty that Islam faces trying to penetrate the tribe (no wonder you Muslims tend to celebrate if you see one fake Igbo Muslim amongst like a thousand Igbos)

If Igbos had Muslims like the Yorubas (which can NEVER happen in this life), I bet you the hatred towards them (especially from the Muslims), wont be this bad....

FYI, Islam and Igbo are two opposites, no let this news give you fake orgasm.

Firstorderwizard:
You never jam runs girl wey upgrade to wife for house ?
I negotiated price for one night, this girl ended up spending a week. Though she's just a student that was newly introduced to the game.
I nearly loose guide if not for redpill

Omoh!!

Thank God for your life bro! 😁😁

sow4me:
If na Lagos you dey bro, gimme her digits. I need such a woman

No na Abuja I dey bro, I for no mind to pass her over at all..

Such ladies go yapa for Lagos too..

Munamu:
U go wise up, the day one go die for your room

Guy man no go ever loose guard naa

Runnerzz:
Okay but what if she brings it up that she wants him dead and u really love to keep her for urself. So u no go follow plan the thing

This your talk funny I swear ..

I didn't/don't have even 1% feeling for this particular lady because I'm already in a serious relationship..

I basically wanted to quench konji, na why I scope her to come around, and the reason why I even commented about it was because of how easy and financially cheap it was for me to convince and host her at my house for the whole of that period...

I was just being general with that my talk about not accepting to date a single Mum that the baby father is alive and balling elsewhere..

Runnerzz:
Okay but what if she brings it up that she wants him dead and u really love to keep her for urself. So u no go follow plan the thing

This your talk funny I swear ..

I didn't have even 1% feeling for this particular lady because I'm already in a serious relationship..
I basically wanted to quench konji, na why I scope her to come around, and the reason why I even commented about it was because of how easy and financially cheap it was for me to convince and host for the whole of that period...

I was just being general with that my talk about not accepting to date a single Mum that the baby father is alive and balling elsewhere..

Runnerzz:
Omor ur way no just clear at all... See reasoning. U dey fvck her no do u, u still want the man dead? For what reasons?

Don't misunderstand me..
I meant, assuming na single Mum wey happen base on say the baby father die, I for no mind date such, but I no fit date the one wey the baby father dey somewhere dey flex life with other babes, no be me go come suffer train another man pikin nahh..

Okoroawusa:
You can't really tell what's in a woman's mind. Maybe all she needed was that one week she spent with you and might not agree to spend it with you again if you invited her.

I agree with you. I wouldn't even want a repeat of such, before she gets too comfortable with me, there are countless ladies out there to hookup with...

Might have considered making her a side chick if she didn't have a child already, I can't stand dating a single Mum whose baby's dad is still alive enjoying his life somewhere, it's a different thing if the child's dad is dead.

I agree with you.

I recently met one 20 years old single Mum on Facebook, like joke like joke, this babe came and spent a week in my place, both her and her child stay with her Mum, so she left the child and came to my place..

Till today, I'm still surprised at how easy it was for me to convince her to come around, no be say na money I give her ooh, only a little transport token and the babe came, was cooking delicacies for me back to back, I dey always come back from work come jam food, got to a point that she was even using her money to buy additional ingredients to cook, wetin shock me pass be say the babe dey wash my clothes reach all my boxers sef, of course with the daily services in the ozaa room ..

Even though I enjoyed her all round services, I wouldn't dare invite her over again, before she go begin think say she be my girlfriend, you know how single babes dey behave nah..

Thank God sef na like 3 hours journey from her Mum's place to where I stay, so she will require permission before she go come...

Na just to chop and go been make me invite her, no be love carry me go her DM, as I'm already in a serious relationship ..

Wealthoptulent:
Which course, university?
Transcript ko Certificate ni.
Wey Transcript of full details on Obi's call to Yes Daddy?
RELIGIOUS WAR.

Make una Drag OYEDEPO N CO abeg! Dem fall we Christians hands , not OBIDIENTS CHRISTIANS oo, we OBEDIENT CHRISTIANS

Nothing like fall any hand, they knew it was going to get to this, that was why they needed to voice out and I commend them for that. The more Christians keep folding hands and not doing anything, the more these Muslims take us for granted. Mind you Oyedepo, Enenche and the rest didn't say all of that because of any hatred for the Muslims nor intolerance for them, all what they did was to protect the interest of the Christian community, but what Elrufai said and what an average Nigerian Muslim has for the Christians is absolute HATRED and INTOLERANCE.
You and I know that fairly and squarely, Tinubu and APC DID NOT win this election, even the Elrufai that is bragging knows the truth..
If they were not the ruling Party, there wasn't any way APC could have won the election without rigging...

I'm a Northerner and a Christian, so I'm used to the hatred of Muslims towards Christians, especially here in the North..

niceluvsus:
The movies he watched when he was young is replaying.
Stop saying he loves you because of friendliness to your parents or taking care of you, anybody can do that.
Your peace is paramount, peace is a major component of love.
Does he have someone he listens to?
Does he have a pastor that can talk to him?
His sexual fantasies are wild.

If the only person he listens to na Pastor, so make she go openly confess to Pastor say dem dey constantly commit fornication abii?
Dey play

immortalmortal:
I'm married already... Happily

Oh..
Congratulations 🎊

immortalmortal:
Hahahaha... Very funny... Best of luck with your "virgin" wife

Thank you.
Go and find your own, unless of course; if you intend to settle for the available unmarried active or retired hookup girls

immortalmortal:
Hahahaha... What if you marry her and find out she's not a virgin? We see a lot of these things these days. Happy married life in advance

I couldn't have been bold enough to refer to her as a virgin if I hadn't confirmed it myself...
I personally saw it tightly closed and still decided to leave it that way and help her remain so until I marry her...