₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Miss_Fibre]There is no harm in going first. My submission has been made. Oya, all my soldiers follow me.

**Goes into praying and fasting mode**[/quote]Lol... Stop fearing, your entry is nice. Na the judges go decide sha

''Attai, why you no mess when those officers dey here?''

Flow asked. I looked at him like he just spoke nonsense.

''You no know say even my mess dey fear real soldier?''

''Na for my head you dey get power take...''

He did not complete the statement. I could see the gas leave my ever ready anus, follow the air like a ninja and jumped into Flows mouth.

''Hunn... Tua tua...''

He was choking on my fart. I was feeling the air as my fart smelt like boiled eggs to me. Flow wind down the glass, his face hanging out as he took gulp after gulp of air into his damaged lungs.

''Attai, God dey solder your nyash''

He cussed.

''I dodge am''

I played a childish game with him.

''Where we dey?''

Flow asked. I had been engross in trying to murder him with my fart that I did not notice I had long left the long row of houses behind. I was already on my way to the General's house.

''You no study the map wey Alhaji give us?''

I asked Flow.

''I no too get time and you know how Kareem dey take disturb for night''

He replied me.

''Him dey disturb abi you dey watch me act blue file with landlord pikin''

I asked him.

''You bad o.''

Was all that came out of his mouth. My mind sailed down memory lane to that night I nearly lost my diicck all in a bid to catch fun.

****************

''What is this!''

Landlord had screamed, his shout pulling me down from the cloud of estacy I had climbed. I was giving his daughter doggy style when he barged in. My dicckk slipped out of her steam puss''y with my reserved sperm splashing everywhere. My eyes were still rolled up but my instinct had kicked in.

''Crash''

I had dodged a giant 501 bottle aimed for my head.

''You bascard, you nanses, I will kill you today''

The landlord was chasing me round the compound with his big agbada bellowing in the wind. My gentleman was busy shaking from side to side as I ran round before making my way through the open door. Oga landlord chased me with the speed of light. I turned to see he was only putting on a singlet and boxers. He had discarded his agbada. The old man could run.

''Oloshi, olori buruku. Iya e''

Were all the abusive missiles he was hurling at me. The night was dark but I still ran. I saw a darker ground from the rest and I ran blindly into it.

I had run into a storage of faeces. The thickness held unto me while oga landlord in seeing my predicament turned and fled. I wondered if it was the sh''t or he was just being a coward. I had to stay in the pond of shit for some minutes to make sure the landlord had gone. The longest minutes in my life.

*****************

''Attai!''

I had to break suddenly. I looked at Flow with anger burning in my eyes.

''Na so my name dey sweet? You wan finish am?''

I asked him as I looked in front of me. My mouth fell open as I saw the most beautiful female soldier I had ever seen. Her head was covered with a golf cap, revealing curly hairs which sticked with the sweat on her beautiful face. Her eyes looked trained, mouth held together with her jaw moving like she was chewing an invisible food.

All this I took in in one breath.

''Flow, close your mouth''

I was the first to say it so Flow won't catch me staring.

''Na this ugly babe you dey open mouth for''

I had to complete it.

''Your mama fine like this when whe young?''

Flow asked, trying to annoy me.

''No.''

I answered. He was already smiling.

''She just fine pass your mother.''

I added.

''No call my mother for this matter''

Flow shouted at me. From outside, you would think two officers were just discussing when in reality we were actually fighting.

''Na my mother come good to call pass''

I answered him, dropping a silent fart as I said so.

''See, your mama dey alive and she dey...''

I quickly opened the door and jumped out as the smell got in contact with his nose. He coughed loudly and followed suit. He moved far from the car like it was about to explode.

''Do not move a step from the where you are''

Flow and I turned simultaneously to see a rifle nozzle trained at us. I dropped farts, loud ones in a frenzy while Flow convered his nose. His eyes were popping out like he was going to faint any moment.

''Officer, stand down''

A harsh voice said.

We were saved again this time by the tick of the clock.

[quote author=Mazi_Omenuko]The submission thread will be created shortly and submission will commence. I've been a bit busy today, but I'm back now.

You all heard Efe_xy. She's the current literature section poster of the year, you know what that means don't you?

About the take home prize, I will implement all she said for the subsequent edition coming up before the end of this year. For a star prize of $100, I think 10,000 words is okk. But let us concentrate on this maiden edition and see it thru before we start planning for subsequent editions.

Thank all for participating.

Submission thread coming up soon.[/quote]Nice but wait o.... She is upping the money na, don't discourage this guys na. The subsequent edition should be $200 na .

Jokes apart, I just returned my reading glasses back.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Cheers Ishi

To be honest, it's not my intention to intimidate the writers out there, but to encourage them to strive for excellence. I know that there are some good ones out there - perhaps, this will encourage them to come out, that's why I think it's worth raising the bar... and on that note, I think (my opinion) that the minimum number of words submitted should be 10,000 and Mazi should consider extending the deadline for submission by a week. That way, we can be guaranteed quality submissions and more or less separate the wheat from the chaff. Anyone who's serious about this will take it up as a challenge.

What d'you think?[/quote]This suggestion of yours should be for the next round or second episode of the competition. Thanks for the added money eh, but don't allow people wear their brain away trying to win it. Slowly and surely, we will get there.

Mazi, where is the submission thread na?

ireke: Foxy, I guess we are on the same side of the divide but we all need to stop seeing and judging people by our own standards. You probably called him mature now because he is exhibiting the kind of behaviours that align with your own sense of reasoning. But for all you know, he could be playing to the gallery. Come to think of it the guy just dey write stories and he is probably juggling things around a bit to carry everybody along. Just enjoy the story and quit seeing a matured or immature actor/writer

You just got me wrong. I am talking about the Zuby in the story Sir. So relax before you start pouring those stuffs out.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Hello All,

Firstly, I'd like to commend Mazi for this idea of his - good stuff and it'll help a lot of budding writers, so kudos to him for this.

Well, as a judge, I'd like to let you all know that I'm quite harsh in my critiques. I don't do friends or favours here and will be looking at the technical content of your write ups. You must strive to impress. By impressing me and the fellow judges, you'll also help improve your writing skills. Now without further ado, here's what I'll be looking out for:

Plot – How complex is it? The more complex, the better
Setting – Should be easy for the reader to visualize. Even better if the five senses are engaged: sight, smell, taste, hearing and touch
Characterisation – Individual characters should be well thought out, unique and thoroughly 'fleshed out'
Action – The reader(s) must feel engaged
Dialogue – Excellent level of interaction needed with minimum dialogue tags.
Romance – for love and romance genres, fiction (for fiction), sci-fi (for sci-fi) and so on. Point is, the reader MUST feel the genre
Suspense – Same as above

In addition to that, I would be looking out for the following:

Spelling -- Including English vs. British Variances for Consistency
Typographical Errors
Capitalization
All Punctuation
Proper Paragraphing & Dialogue Transition
Sentence Structure (Run-On Sentences & Sentence Fragments)
Verb-Tense Consistency
Redundancy
Point-Of-View Consistency (Head Hopping)
Narrative Consistency (1st Person--2nd Person--3rd Person)
Scene-Change Clarity and Flow
Story Structure:

~ Imagery of Scenes
~ Character Development
~ Believability of Action, Plot, and Resolution
~ Historical and Data Correctness

I've also suggested to Mazi that he up the stakes for this competition with regards to the prizes on offer here. That notwithstanding, I'm willing to aid in this respect:

First prize $100
Second prize $50
Third prize $20

Not sure how Mazi plans to organize this but I'll leave that to him.

Nonetheless, bottom line here is that we'll or rather I, would be looking out for quality works. You must endeavour to show and not tell. Now what do I mean by this? Say for example, you're describing a character's physical appearance: don't tell me she's beautiful. Show me what makes her beautiful!

Finally, your very first paragraphs MUST have that hook to keep me glued to your story. If I'm bored, I'll toss your write-up over my shoulders.

Let's show the world that Nigerians have it in them to produce the finest, quality works ever. Make your country proud and moreso, yourself!

Goodluck![/quote]O my God!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yehhhhh..... This woman is wicked oooo.........

She did not reveal all this things since na now... Men.... Time to see the effort of writers.

N15,700 no be beans ooo.... E go buy you new phone self

Oya, start submitting

princesa: maybe i took ur soft, comfortable seat, but am loving it.

feminism my black behind

Trying to say other guys are not eligible eh? Forget bout me o, I believe that those works I refused to participate in crippled my chances.

And eh, I don't know you Black Behind refused to bleach

princesa: dayuum, am so tempted you enter you today, but....


Am cool, so keep acting up

No o... Don't stop. I'm also in the mood to reply anything you throw at me.

Waiting for your crazy self to show up