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TO CUTE BLISS


Has anyone ever chased the wind? And if they did, did they finally catch up to it?

Standing on the cliff, at the very edge about to fall, my sweetheart stood with the wind, her eyes softly shut with arms open like leaves. Breathing in and out, she screamed smiling firmly, with tears locked between her lips "Uoy I Evol, Uoy I Evol". I didn't know what she meant.

By morning she was a raven. A black bird on the roof of my chimney. She'd inhale the smoke, trap it and whisk it away into the sky. Every day I saw her writing in white, a cloud shaped calligraphy that read in the sky "I will find you, and when I do, I'd paint your cheek with a red lipstick".

Taken by surprise one dark and lonely night, whilst I walked between street lamps on an empty road. I saw the image of who I presumed to be her, from a distance. Her hair rallied in the wind like bed sheet. She stood on a spot.

Running to meet with her felt like forever, as when I finally did arrive, she was gone, spoof like a ghost. I could have sworn it was her. I felt her spirit from a distance, my intuition is never wrong.

This morning my cheeks were smeared in red lipstick. "She was here," I say, while staring out the window into the setting sun.

How long will I keep chasing the wind? And will I ever catch up to it? She'd better come to Abuja soon.

Yours Sincerely,

Joey (FOXY ^TM)

'Talk na, abi you've been struck dumb from your dream?' Flow asked an annoying question.

'Na...your...papa...go...dumb,' I retorted, my discomfort causing me to deliver my words slowly.

'Why you dey skip like spoilt disc na?' Flow asked laughingly. His look radiated anything but concern for me.

'Na...your...papa...go...skip. You...no...see...say...I...no...well,' I said, struggling to keep my anger in check.

'U no well? Wetin do you? Even me wey Awoah beat no sick na,' Flow said, as he placed his hand on my neck to check my temperature.

I didn't reply, I just closed my burning eyes and relaxed.

'Your temperature is very high oh. U don get malaria be dis,' Flow commented.

'How I no go get malaria with all those mosquitoes wey bite me last night,' I complained.

Infact it seemed to me that Kareem's room was a special breeding place for mosquitoes, as they poured out in alarming numbers to welcome Flow and I. Unfortunately for me, they took especial delight in sucking blood from my yellow skin.

'No worry na,' Flow calmed me. 'I go arrange malaria drug for una,' He said, as he stood from beside me on the floor and made for the door.

'Where is Kareem na?' I asked.

'You expect the id'i'ot to dey house by this time? Him don leave since morning na,' Flow replied curtly.

I wasn't surprised that Flow was edgy about my question about Kareem, afterall he was partly responsible for Flow's new, unpleasant look. I was however surprised that he hadn't thrown us out of his room after his fight with Flow. Maybe Flow had begged him while I was asleep sha :-/.

'Make I dey go jor,' Flow said, as he opened the half broken wooden door of the room.

'Ok...no...take...long..sha,' I said to Flow's retreating back

'I no go use up to five minutes sef,' Flow promised. I didn't know then that he'll fail to live up to his promise.

** ** ** ** **

Milliseconds turned to seconds. Seconds to minutes. Minutes to hours, and Flow didn't return.

'Maybe those Awoah don catch am again, or trailer don jam am,'

I said to myself as I tried to think of what could have caused Flow's delayed return.

He returned some three hours after he left, with a sad look on his messy face and downward slant to
his grossly disfigured mouth.

'Na God go punish you this guy. You left me in a critical condition like dis to go swim for stream abi?' I queried angrily when I noticed that the shirt he wore was dripping with water.

'Swim for stream?' Flow repeated as if he never heard words like that before. 'You sure say those mosquitoes wey bite you yesterday no suck your brain join? Who tell you say I go stream at all?'

'So wetin wet your shirt like this? Abi rain dey fall where you go?'

'Rain ke? Na sweat o,' Flow replied.

'Na una sweat wey plenty like dis? You visit ashawo house?' I inquired.

'Attai! Abegi I no dey the mood to dey answer all these silly questions wey you dey ask,' Flow replied angrily, with his broken, huge nose flaring.

'Na me dey ask silly questions? Ok o. Wey the drug you go buy since morning na?'

'Which drug? Drug wey don loss since when them dey chase me for market,' Flow answered.

'Chase you for market?' I echoed his words in disbelief. 'Wetin you steal?'

'I no steal anything na, I just unfortunately run into those Awoah of yesterday,' he recounted bitterly.

'Sorry o,' I consoled him. 'But those Awoah try sha,' I chipped in, with the intention of adding salt to Flow's injury.

'Wetin you mean?' Flow asked.

'Emm... You know say your face don change alot since after you fight Kareem yesterday,' I paused for effects then added. 'You look like pesin wey Dracula bite.'

To say the punch caught me is an understatement, it took me to heights of rigmarolling parody and heightened alcibiadian modus vivendi (Hon. Pat). Punching a sick man is same as murder and Flow just murdered me. Or so I thought!!!

Beautiful tale... I dey am wella..

Oga Zubby.. Thanks...

If you don't love my poems, others do. I can see people clicking LIKE for the poems. Please, y'all should take a chill pill for my troubles o. This is for those who think I am a nuisance. I am not. I belong to this section. I am sexuality. So fvvck you all!!!

Pregnant for the son of a Pastor

"You dey chop yam for dream?"

Flow asked, his ten eyes opened wide.

"Na your father give me the yam?"

I said weakly, then an idea popped into my head, I clutched my chest, shouted and passed out.

"Yehhh... Kareem, you don kill Attai o"

I heard the ever shaky voice of Flow.

"La-ye... Iro ni, na him kill himself"

Kareem replied in his agbero-laced grammar. Agbero laced is not the name of FLow's village, it is a mixture of pidgin and yoruba combined together that is popularly used in the parks of lagos.

"Oya, wake am up"

Flow said to him, his voice sounded like a threat to me. I wonder where he had gotten the liver to threaten Kareem seeing that Kareem could outrun officers without being caught. I shook my head silently in my mind.

"If I no wake am up fa?"

Kareem replied, his voice obviously raised. I was enjoying the show but I was definitely not going to miss the fight so I just opened my eyes slightly to see Flow had already pulled his shirt. His muscles was pumping together with the artificial ones given to him on his face by the Awoah's aka Awoahson. He looked a mess but I believed in him.

"Na me you pull shirt for?"

Kareem screamed, looking at Flow unbelievably like Flow just committed a taboo.

"Na who you be? Wo fi she ye ni?"

Flow asked, pushing Kareem on his chest. I can't really imagine two people trying to fight themselves with a dead man in their midst.

"Touch me again"

Kareem thundered. His voice had taken a dangerous dimension. I expected Flow to cower but he threw a punch instead at Kareem's chest. I quickly bounced on my back to the wall at one part of the room. I wanted them to have enough space to do themselves what ever they deemed fit though I was a bit happy that Flow had stood up for me.

"Iya la ye e"

Kareem cursed and tore his shirt.

"O boy eee"

I nearly screamed when I saw the muscles that jumped out of his shirt. His arms were as thick as incredible hulk with scars almost everywhere on his chest. The dude had been an agbero for ages.

"Gbimmmmmmm"

I did not see the blow leave his hand because it was as fast as lightning but I did see Flow fly in slow motion to the end of the room, hitting the door so hard the whole room shook. I held the urge to urinate on my body.

"Kareemuuu, no kill person oooo"

Someone shouted from outside but it seemed Kareem's beast mode had been activated as he quickly closed on Flow. Flow had bounced back immediately he had landed on the door and was ducking and jabbing at Kareem. While Flow fought like Bruce Lee, Kareem fought like The Rock. So also was the body weight difference. The fight was really imbalanced.

"Crackkkkk"

Flow had landed a clean kick on Kareem's head. During our training, we were taught on how to defend ourselves in closed environment since our survival depends on it. The force of the kick sent Kareem to crash on his huge mirror that was held to the wall with the help of a nail. The mirror broke into pieces but not one trace of blood was on Kareem's body.

"Gbosaaaa!!!"

Kareem's hand had broken his wooden door. He had thrown a huge punch aimed at the head of Flow which he had ducked cleanly. I was tired of the fight, someone was going to get killed, and from all perspective, it looked like Flow my friend.

"I no dey die again ooo"

I screamed, Kareem had Flow in a death grip. His hand was already round about Flow in a huge bear hug.


**************************************************************

"Your uniforms are ready, you will find it in the mountainous waste in your area"

A voice said into the speaker. I paused.

"Attai, wake up, you dey dream."

It was Flow. I opened my eyes to see Flow with his rearranged face, courtesy of Awoah and Kareem.

"Why you dey talk for your dream na."

I opened my mouth to reply, instead a deep cough escaped me. I tried to move but found out I was heavy. My eyes were burning and teary. I felt sick.


TO BE CONTINUED....

'Flow, you dey craze? No be you talk say...' I couldn't complete the statement because of an abnormal sound I heard.

GBAAAMM!

The bottle landed and crashed on my big head. I fell to the floor instantLy. Kareem's erstwhile dark room immediately looked like it had been lighted by a hundred florescent bulbs. Flow suddenly multiplied into ten before my very eyes.

'Flows...' I called all of them.

'Attai, are you alright?'

'Walahi I... Ayam dead.'

TO BE CONTINUED.

Abeg make una drop comments, u know say na my source of motivation be dat...

I'm really sorry about the delay in update. Na my tight schedule and illness cause am Walahi. Help me manage this one abeg .

*** *** *** ***

I watched on in amusement as Soldiers aka awoah chased Flow's friend Kareem around the street. For someone who walks like a programmed robot, Kareem's running skills was incredible as he outraned (ask Flow wetin dis one mean) the military men with consummate ease.

'Flow, our guy sabi...' I cut myself short when I realised that the Flow I intended directing my speech to was not on the floor writhing in pain like I had seen him doing moments ago.

I looked around, no sign of Flow. Abi he don disappear neh?

'Flow, where you dey na?' I called as I checked round the stalls that lined up the side of the street, hoping to find him lurking among them.

'Attai!' Someone called, no shouted, my name from afar. I looked up to see Flow beckoning to me from the other end of the street.

'Haha Flow, when did u run reach here? No be you dey hold leg dey cry on the floor now now?' I queried when I got to where he stood.

'You dey craze? U want make I sit down there make those Awoah come bounce on me when them no see Kareem catch?' Flow asked in anger as he pressed lips. It wasn't his lips alone that was swollen. His eyes too had geometrically increased in size which made him look like a twin to Segun Arinze.

'How you take know say them no go catch Kareem? You no see the number of Awoah wey dey pursue am?'

'That one no mean anything na. You don forget say na him dey rule dis place, him go know wetin to do,' Flow said. 'We for meet am at home sef,' he added after a momentary pause.

'Taa! That one no possible,' I scoffed.

'Make we dey go house jor. I no get strength to dey follow you argue,' Flow said with the airs of finality.

'But you get strength to dey sprint from one end of the street to another abi,' I said in my mind and yimu'ed' to Flow as we trudged towards Kareem's slumly residence which, I'm sure, will continue to remain our abode until we somehow find a way to beat the extra tight security at the barracks and execute our deal with General Kolawole.

*** *** *** ***

I got the shocker of my life when we returned to our lodge to find Kareem already in the room. Ok maybe I shouldn't be this shocked because I had been warned by Flow, but I still couldn't believe my eyes.

'Attai and Flow. Welcome o,' Kareem greeted cheerily.

Flow replied, I didn't. My mouth was ajar, no agape.

'How did you do it? I mean how did you escape unscathed?' I asked with Queens English rolling out of my open mouth.

'E surprise you? Well, na Kanako I use,' Kareem informed me.

'Wetin be Kanako?' I asked.

'Emm... Na one kind juju wey you go use increase your running speed sotey nobody go fit catch,' he explained.

'What if the person wey dey chase you be emm... Dis guy... Usain Bolt?' I asked, trying to determine the potency of the talisman.

'E no concern me if e be Usain Bolt or Usain Nut, wetin I know be say I go run pass am.'

'Nawa o. I no believe say things like this really exist before o,' I said.

Flow and Kareem bursted into laughter simultaneously.

'You nor believe say Jazz dey? Ok. Oya come make I show you sontin,' Kareem said to me.

I followed him to the other end of the room where he produced an empty bottle of Udeme from under the bed. He smashed it against the wall and offered me the neck of the bottle.

'Take!' He ordered in that hoarse voice of his.

'Wetin I go use am do?' I asked fearfully.

'You dey fear? Take it jor!' Flow chimed in, trying as usual to make me appear more feeble-minded than him.

I reluctantly collected the bottle, before I could say 'sorry about the delayed update', Kareem grabbed my left hand (I was holding the broken bottle in that hand) and guided it to his stomach.

KRRRAN!

For a split second, I thought Kareem had used my hand to kill himself, but when I saw that his stomach hadn't been penetrated despite the force he applied, I was wowed.

'As an agbero, if you no want make dem just waste your life, you must get some of these things for protection,' Kareem said frankly.

'Attai, why you come open mouth like that na?' Flow asked a silly question. 'You nor know say me too get that kain protection.'

'True? Why you no tell me before na?' I said, feeling slighted.

'You know say I no just like to boast about the things I get.'

Now, that is one big fat lie, the Flow I knew always brag and boast about what he has and what he doesn't have.

'Oya make I test your own too na,' I said as I picked up an Udeme bottle nearby and advanced towards Flow.

'Yeh! Attai! Na play I dey play o. I no get anything o,' Flow screamed at the top of his voice when he realised that I was serious about stabbing him.

Fortunately for him, my grip on the bottle wasn't all that tight, so when he kicked my hand, the bottle flew off easily.

yemi2plus: Five days and til no update.. GOD is watching.

@foxy, your girlfriend fit write her exam today?

Oya... Make you relax... I hear say people faint for the exxam... Na tomorrow she go write sha...

You succeed?

Sorry bout the long break... Updates will resume fully next tomorrow... Happy Ember Month

I have been out of town, jeez... Seriously, network sucks.

Dear Mynd,

I came to this section and laughed so hard at what I read. You are truly funny is an annoying way.

That's BTW... I'm continuing my story and I still have it in mynd that it will make the front page.

Happy new month, have a blessed sunday.

Good morning y'all...

Updates coming later in the day. Had a busy day yesterday.

Thanks for understanding...

Dear Mynd,

I thought you were on vacation, not until I saw you reply Yemi's complaint.

A story has been endorsed in the literature section over and over again yet nothing had been done about it. Your presence was not even registered.

Why

VanTee20: supported

[quote author=Miss_Fibre]Fourtened [/quote]

Neduzze5: Thirdended!!

Clemzy16: seconded. https://www.nairaland.com/1387874/naija-thug-life-foxy-flow1759

haykins01: i hereby endorse Naija thug life by foxy flow and flow 1759 for front page

Madawaki01: Front page material. www.nairaland.com/1387874/naija-thug-life-foxy-flow1759

[quote author=Foxy_Flow]Dear Mynd,

I know I have been a pain in the ars'e but we both know that I have been good too. Yesterday, a reader endorsed a thread started by me, co-written by Flow1759. Your reply was kinda cryptic as I did not get what you mean.

We have given regular updates and the story is on its tenth page.

What more can we do to make it qualify for front page?


Yours in-multiple-moniker

Foxy_Flow[/quote]Dear Mynd & Moderators in charge,

With the above, I believe my thread is qualified and I am sticking to the rule of not endorsing it myself.

Yours in Multiple Monikers,

Foxy....

[quote author=Miss_Fibre]This story is the bomb.

Lol, I have been away for so long, this is a nice way in welcoming me back.

Thanks Foxy and Flow [/quote]You are welcome haney

Una no dey comment abi?

The rock5555: No come o, before cult boys go roast ur meat