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Well... I looked at the watch strapped firmly on my wrist, what is keeping this woman na. Suddenly she had turned into a woman instead of my beautiful girlfriend, I too was feeling like a man, a real man with two hard balls!!! Make I hear which doctor go tell me say I no fit give woman belle na, na to give am reference.

''What's keeping you?''

I said softly into my phone.

''I'm very close, hold on a little bit''

She replied, I could here the shout of Berger, Berger, then Jabi, Jabi. She was close.

''Owk, I waiting''

I was practically freezing. MR. Biggs in Jabi could turn someone into a pack of ice if you stay there waiting for long. I had to relax and take my mind off the coldroom kind of coldness in the eatery, instead I concentrated on the traffice outside, watching cars pack and leave, people coming in and going out. Very busy world we have here, even bees no reach us jor, I mused in my mind.

''Baby I'm around''

She said to me as soon as I picked the call.

''Come inside na''

I told her before ending the call. I had taken my second bottle of water, wasn't planning on eating until she came. As she entered through the open door, I stood up, walked to her, gave her the tightest hug and escorted her back the table I had selected. I left her there and went to the counter to order for plantain and french fries for me while I ordered jollof rice and chicken for her with a can of malt. This I took to the table, served her putting on my best smile.

We ate silently while I kept smiling. She looked at me as I kept smiling while looking at her.

''Why are you happy''

She asked, her mouth full.

''That I will be a father soon''

I replied.

''You are not serious''

She said and laughed. I was happy, Martha is going to give me a child, I was the happiest man at the moment.

''Actually I am''

I replied after a long pause. By then she had finished eating and was sipping her drink silently. She looked at me like she wanted to puke.

''You better not be serious, I just came here to collect money''

She said in a harsh whisper. Which money? Maybe the transport money back home I concluded.

''Which money again''

I asked her.

''I'm aborting the pregnancy''

She said with a note of finallity. It was like the devil spoke through her at that moment. Abort which belle? My belle? With which money? My money?

''When did I tell you to terminate the pregnancy?''

I asked her, my eyes narrowing.

''I concluded after discovering I was pregnant''

She replied.

''Why did you not inform me all this while?''

I asked, really the devil was trying to confuse me.

''Because I wanted to terminate it before telling you''

She replied. I looked round to make sure none was listening to our conversation.

''And you think I would have forgiven you? Better think twice''

I replied, my voice sounding deadly to even my ears.

''Attai please.... I need to go to school''

She pleaded. Wait o, she wants to go to school, she wants to abort the child, she is persuading me to help her in killing my own child. I was shaken to my marrow.

''You will hear from me!!!''

I practically screamed drawing attention to myself before storming out of the place. Damn abortion. Aint killing no one, not even a developing foetus.




You guys know the rest....!!!

ITbomb: *green with envy*

You are supposed to be the son here, stop being envious jor, or have you turned Cronus that killed his father and married his mother?

By the way, I just updated my biography with a recent update, how the news of the pregnancy came. Yoou guys should check it out but make una no derail the thread because I go continue am o...

>>>> fast forward>>>> **Many Years Later**

''Grnnn...grnnn''

My phone rang, I was surprised, not that surprised sha, just jumped a little bit, since morning my phone had been silent. I looked at the phone and wondered how on earth I chosed such a boring ring tone for my Iphone. Well, I had my reasons, when the phone rings, heads turn wondering who owns the crap making noise, then I bring out my white apple iPhone. It does the trick, my GP is fired up.

''Hello baby''

I spoke into the mouthpiece of the phone.

''Hello''

Came a heavy reply. What's wrong with this Martha self, I wondered.

''Why are you sounding this way?''

I asked, praying she won't remind me of failing to send her recharge card.

''So if I did not call, you won't call abi?''

She asked, her voice cold.

''Did some one point out your menses stained skirt to you in the market?''

I was trying to sound funny. Well, trying too hard. There was a sharp breath on the other end, silence followed. I waited too, waiting to hear her voice break into uncontrollable laughter, but I sure was disappointed.

''Don't even go there''

She almost screamed. I looked at my phone like I was just seeing it for the first time. What's wrong with that woman at the other end? Why are women always agressive when they are seeing their period, she must be seeing her flow I concluded or so I thought. **Flow1759**

''Take it easy, I just finished reading the Nigerian Constitution and did not find any part that says men should always do the calling or can't you sacrifice some little change for me?''

I was beginning to get angry. She must have sensed it as she seemed to relax on the other end.

''I'm sorry, did not mean to get you angry''

She said while I smiled knowingly to myself.

''It's alright, I am only wondering why you are and have been sounding this way for the past one months and half''

I said.

''Don't mind me, I have many things on my mind, I just can't control my emotions''

She replied.

''We need to see so I can help you control your emotions''

I said while the man in between my legs nodded in agreement, in fact, it had stood a little bit at attention when the thought of inviting her over crossed my mind.

''Nah, I will be busy this weekend but don't worry, when the time is ripe, I will surely come and see you''

Kai, women and ways of avoiding their boyfriends during their red lettered days.

''You want my balls to become blue and heavy ba''

I spoke out without hiding my disappointment that she wasn't coming.

''No, but you have to be patient''

She replied. We had been on the phone for 7 minutes already, unlike her who does 3 minutes and start screaming of low balance.

''You know I am always patient''

I replied, my mind wandering to that night I had saved my friend from committing ''incess''. Well, you all know the story.

''If I hear, telll that to someone you just met''

She said with a laughter then added..

''Attai, I'm sorry for sounding cold all this days, itz the burden that I've been carrying in my mind for long. I just wish their is someone to share it with''

She said silently. I had to strain my ears, when did this woman start keeping secrets to herself, I wondered.

''Hey, you know I'm always here for you, I have broad shoulders and hairy chest for you to lean and lie on''

I told her, the solemness in my voice very convincing.

''Owk... I love you and I believe you love me''

She said over the line. Why all this now, I wondered again.

''Of course, I will always love you tll the end of time''

I replied in the same solemn voice. I waited for her to talk but she kept quiet. I kept waiting since I am a patient man, no be my credit dey waste. Finally she said something.

''ATTAI, I AM PREGNANT''

I was confused, abi my phone was confused, how did it happen? Just that once without protection? Damn.... But I have to confirm it.

''You better stop all this crude jokes, I don't like them''

I threw out between clenched teeth and a beating heart.

''I have not seen my period since last month''

The line went dead.

''Hello... Hello... Hello''

My mind was in a war situation. I had no credit on my phone, I can only get card when I leave the office.

Immediately I developed headache, fever, running stomach and high blood pressure. I had fathered a child at so young an age. I couldn't wait for office hours to come to an end.



I will continue where I stopped... Had to include this one too.

*kida-berry#:
Attai attai u sabi find ur mama trouble

Na blood e dey... Make I DROP one update for the evening...

No you are not... You are trying to make me feel better... I'm so happy.... My case better o... Br3nda, you should confess to it because that's d fact...

Mazi_Omenuko: Huuhh Don't you know her?



Its ok horn, I'm here for you. Just hate the idea of fathering ITbmb. Can we put him up for adoption?

Hahahahahahahahahha..... My situation appears better

Br3nd4: wow!! A lovely, sweet and caring daughter-in-law ive got..
My son is lucky..

Foxy u see, ur young family is already taken care of.. Mazi will take u under his wings.. Ure one lucky dude

Come.. Na who dey marry you self

princesa: @ice
i will so love to take that cash, it will give me great pleasure to see you broke

she will the second in command of Itbomb's heart
so don't worry Foxy, i will be very kind to the mother, treat her like a sister

My dear, I never kneew you as a member of them sinners association

You guys are chatting instead of proferring solutions abi

ITbomb: Just apply to Nairaland charity for help and pampers then remember to check in the lady for antenatal
Then abstain from fucking her during the period [very important].
Then remove your number from your signa before u get another girl pregnant.
.
I ve a useful book for sale, it is call 'Being a young Dad for dummies'
Just pay 2500 into my FCMB account and I will send it to u within 24 hours.
.
Happy Father's Day in advance

My enemies shall not see me. Chei... ITBomb, even you dey enter and criticize me.

**If you wan criticize, criticize small small, you no holy pass my brother**

But by the way, I wonder why Sexkillz will post in the link to the previous thread.

Rap maestro: not you bro, Fox mehn, fox

You eh... Do not worry or fret, I will update when my turn comes but then, Larry... I no get any beef with you. I was only remembering when we chatted here plus made contributions (tho i dont contribute), it was all fun. Not until you felt we should stop talking. Now you call me a clown... Na so I play reach wey dem tell you?

Thanks y'all for your concerns... I appreciate. Others left mr and ran away but you guys stayed behind. I am retiring from writing escapades....

princesa: now you stuck a cord in my heart, i actually thought this was fiction, obviously not, sorry abt the incidence......


*wish this happened to M. instead *

but what exactly can we do for you

If this statement is coming from you then I sure need a drink. Can't believe you would one day comment something like this... Toh... How do you make dem self proclaimed friends come back? They all ran away leaving me to carry my cross... Damn...

Sexkilllz... You try for this singular act sha...

Larry-Sun:
I don't form seriousness. I'm always serious when I need to. You cannot expect a clown in everybody.

I wanted to pass too and ignore you but I couldn't help it. Everybody has his own fun side but are one serious dude that looks more like a sadist. Sorry to ask, but men... How do you make friends?

princesa: are we still in Susan's diary? or are we still in the flashback?

I did not notice a flashback my dear... This update short wo....

When Larry... Efe and HBG dey form boss why e no go boring. If we wan catch fun, dem go carry dia head dey come form seriousness... Mtchw

flow1759: i be handsome bobo na. But if u see me when i dey do kponkpon? Chai kponkpon spoil my skin well well

All this babes no know as you fine, walai dem for dey come make line for your house.

This is to announce that Flow1759 looks so much like Majid Micheal.... Men... The bobo ko clean gan. (no homo)... Na me know am pass all of una.


Ladies... You guys should pay me to give you hiss BB pin.

ekaromail: Sorry o! Phcn has decided that blackout will be the order of the day and my I better pass my neighbor aint working. I have written chapter 8 , just need to edit it. As soon as that is done, I will post it. THANKS

Men... Xee writer... Me dey feel you jor... Wella

Rap maestro: na so u think am? Chei, u neva see my muscle

me I don see am... Oya...

**Using Master Audu's Voice**

Commence!!!

Dygeasy: No... So Foxy it's true you got a girl pregnant?

Are you also going to run away?

At least I did not hide it... What ya say na...

If tears could solve problems then I would probably cry an ocean right now but it only adds to the pain. Pain that painkillers like panadol, alabukun and other white drugs cannot kill. What could be deadly than staying in this world without friends but surrounded with foes?

Poetic lines abi?

Well, it is far from being poetic because right now I am without anybody I can call a friend. I use to have them in droves until recently when they discovered something.

Being a good friend, I never hid it away from them but brought it to a round table where we can all discuss it. Something that I had felt proud initially when I did it.

I had gotten a girl pregnant!!!

Pregnant??!! I believe you all must be screaming, but I must tell you that the devil have more aces up his sleeves than we can ever think of. A little romanace could turn you from an innocent boy overnight to being a young dad, looking for what to feed your young wife and kid with.

Such is my case.!!

And when I thought my friends would stand by my side, they all vanished!!! Gone with the wind... Into thin air they disappeared.

They had listened to tales of my sexcapade... Even begged me for more, had to go for more adventures to satisfy their deep appetite...but what do I get in return... A pregnancy... What followed... My friends all ran away, leaving me to bear my burden.

If only they will show the slightest of support... This is the time I sure need it, a time when I transform from being the player to a scorer who has a child and a mother to take care of. I look into the future, but I'm too scared... Far too scared to embrace it.

If only I had restrained myself a little... If only her magical palms had not driven me over the clift... If only... If only....

But IF's are like wishes... Wishes aint horses but IF's aint coming back when the deed is done just like the arms of a rolling wall clock.


Now my friends have all deserted me, leaving me to face my own problems...

Next life... I won't get a girl pregnant at a young age, even if the government makes provision for it. I will keep that brain dangling between my legs in check... Don't wanna make the same mistake twice just to be sure.



I'm a young father... Crying cos my friends all left me... A young father indeed.

Wait o why all this dey happen
If you smile wahala dey for you
If you cry nobody go pity you
When you laugh na im worst pass
Time no dey heal wounds again
Na only to point out more injuries to us

When Nigeria came we celebrated
The would watched us elated
Finally we are a nation to contend with
Though we had nothing to show for it
Our hope were lighted by our zeal
Independence had come to us for real

Greed for power broke us once
From coup to war we bounced
Even the dead had cases to answer
Why visit God in such manner
Dying when the nation remained young
And the light of freedom still burned

Tie a cord round about them
Provide them different garments helm
Show them the perceived way
Let religious view be the master of the day
The paupers will definitely fade away
How and when will come that day

Nigeria my beloveth nation
Guarded with jealousy and passion
Where art thou now on the map
When the world came back from ITS nap
Scattered and shredded in all corners
Divided solely among newcomers

We don pray for day and for night
Make we love even though we fight
Make religion no oppress us again
Make sentiment no add to our pain
We get hope this time for straw
Na to go back board go draw