₦airaland Forum

They've to downplay it to protect their business interests.

Clerverly:
So all the Noise about the Christmas Carol was an attempt by the Caretaker governor to test his popularity ahead of the Poll

Nyesom Wike is really a Comedian. If you knew, you'd win the real election why appealing up to the Supreme Court? Are you afraid to test your popularity in a fair contest?

Wike let me Warn you, nullification of all the elections in Rivers State is not without plans by the APC. Rivers State is as important to Buhari, Amaechi and APC as the Federal election. You must be a Joker, to think, APC will lose the coming election.

Wike is going to be the longest serving governor in Rivers State cos I see APC challenging his victories even unto his second term

Lanceslot:
Op seme-border I know, Owode ijako border I know, idiroko border I know, but I haven't heard about the the owoedu border town you mentioned on your first post. Nice story anyway. Explorers na u cari me come here, oya serve me some bottles of what you are drinking.

I'm not a yoruba and I've lived all my life in the Niger Delta. Thanks for the observation, I think it's owode ijako

I stood still hearing a thunderous knock on my door.

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!! This time the intensity has reverberated the room like when Satan is knocking at the hotel room of 2 adulterers informing them that one of their real partner is on the way to the room to halt their fun.

Bang! Bang!! Bang!!!

The thunderous explode this time was enough to kick back to life a dead man. Then I know it must be my 2 months old girlfriend startling the neighborhood. I sluggishly stood abandoning my phones on the bed stead and went into the living room just in time before my door came crashing down.
"who's there? "I bellowed pretending not to know it was her and she responded in her melody tone," open for me, it's me T***. Women for all I know could fake everything including voice and manner of speech and I'd fall for this one. I held the door knob, twitch the keys and let her in

"what have you been up to? She asked as she pushed her way through the door to the bedroom but my silence must've deafen her raging spirit. I quickly secured the lock before noticing the food pack she clutches. Women!!! They're all interesting beings I murmured. Once they come into a man's life and noticed he's comfortable and with no competition, they'd become more caring to the point one questions self if mom had done a better job worth her efforts.

Anyway, being a bachelor back then wasn't easy, if you think it is, ask around. Most nights means going to bed without food but this night it ain't happening in my case. Sometimes I'd nurse this wicked idea of going to a pharmacy shop, buy worm expeller and murder all the worms in the stomach before the diminish my reserve. That way a night without food will have the reserve refilling the stomach. That's by the way anyway!

"sweetheart, you're on your phones again, I thought we'd agree that after 8pm all phones must be shut down? "she retorts. Not giving heed to her ranting I move with swift and the demeanor of a conqueror towards her and planted a long kiss before responding :" Baby, I am engrossed with a serious investigation and evaluation only, trust me this time this one will fascinate you to no end " loosing my grips on her, I took a dive into the bed before she could return her resistance. Women are really predictable like the rainy season and they hardly give up when phone, an inanimate object is taking the shine.

" keep deceiving yourself and social networks. " she said drawing a mischievous grin. I made a gesture of get lost, cursing inside for the temporary lost of concentration and get quickly got busy again forgetting she'd come with a night meal. I had picked up my blackberry and continued the chat with Sammutin... A Nairaland Cotonou car dealer / middleman based in Badagry of Nigeria.

5 years had past I owned the 1999 camry so I was due for an upgrade! Even the witches and wizards in my village knows I was due for an upgrade. In fact they have been on my case denying me the luxury ride of my dreams the Lexus rx330 but in a few days time they'll be defeated just as I know how to deal with them. When I bought the camry I'd highlight earlier concerning my first sojourn to Cotonou, honestly it was a smooth buy, worthy and of good driving experience.

Prior to chatting with Sammutin, I've contacted numerous Cotonou car dealers on nairaland and the prices I got from them for 2005 Lexus RX330 was a couple of thousands above 2.5 million and then 2 dealers was ready to deal below 2.2million naira. So I decided to settle for Sammutin because he has the longest thread and his thread views was impressive, with that it means consistency and a good evaluation I'd reason so this night I was on with him straightening the rough ends, promoting trust and rules of engagement.

The guy had even gone ahead to sending routine of pictures of my desired vehicle, promise of further down favorable bargain, good exchange regime, easy and fast custom documentation and above all providing litany of integrity support documents. When I inquired about references or a surety that at least could support his efficiency he told me he was a music teacher in his local aladura assembly. I received couple of pictures in his aladura garb with the promise to introduce me to his prophet. I'd ask for the church name and he gave me. That's how I was busy knotting the tees and crossing the iss before the interruption.

I needed to plan properly because tomorrow....

Please ignore the (f) on the moniker I'm marauding on my wife's account. Though this isn't my first sojourn to Cotonou, the tiny French colony but this trip I am about to narrate is for what it is a funny experience I'd had for a very long time. Telling this tale I got the inspiration from biggiyke thread and I was so enthralled by his communication skills I said to myself I've to add to the humor basket my experience. Ideally, I might not match his detailed analysis but I'll do within my knowledge to cover every parameters.

My first experience to Cotonou was 8 years ago when I wanted to buy my first car, the ever reigning and dependable 1999 Toyota camry car. I've gone in company of a car dealer from Port Harcourt and that was after I'd do my investigation on specifications and price. The agent has a funny nickname (Nkpo Nkpo), so we headed to Lagos connecting to otta in Ogun State before reaching the boarder town of Owoedu *. We'd pass the night at a hotel in Owoedu after I turned down the offer of an olosho to warm the night by my agent but then I know that Greek gifts comes with thorns, either way the cost must be added to our transactions. I came to understand that most of the car dealers, flyers live reckless lifestyles and the town is what it is, a moving town connecting two countries.

Next day, we took our bath and my agent inform me that the journey into our transaction is about to begin. From then onwards I became his sucker, we'd withdrawal from one of the banks littered along the road, trek upward further, pass through a makeshift toll gate effortlessly and just then he announced that we're in Benin Republic. What?! I exclaimed. Looking around the sizable number of people milling around, taxi drivers shouting Cotonou, some sprinkle of Nigeria custom men giving the I don't care demeanor, I heave a sign of both relief and exasperation because the sack of money:a few thousand above million I was carrying was the toughest job I've ever undertook in a while. The Benin Republic town though I'd forgotten it's name was living in squalor despite the fact that many bureau the change business abound which is mostly family businesses. We approach my agent's regular customer, did the transaction of currency exchange, stroll into the taxi Park nearby and began our journey to Cotonou. As we journeyed on, I was everything afraid, anxiety filled my abdomen, confusion, thought of being robbed and lynched envelope me as we moved into Cotonou, leaving behind us the rustic boarder town of Benin Republic and it's Nigeria neighbor.

This is just but an intro to the real deal. Sit tight, grab your pop corn and have a good laugh.

Will be right back.....

The lucky guy Don hammer yet some nairaland babes Don dig hole into the boyfriends pockets

People still travel to the North?

Federal government should release a statement warning its citizens not to head to the North anymore in view of the security challenges

I'll open my Cotonou experience thread tomorrow for those of you that need a laugh

My weird Cotonou experience loading...

Maybe I should relate my little funny experience here too

They are all sadist... FFK.

Linda if you still get money abeg buy their OBA palace.

We've umuola community in Abia state and Rumuola community in Rivers State.

There's Isiokpo community in both Rivers and Imo state.

Again... We've egbema in both Rivers and Imo state.

Yet Tonyebarcanista and his rastafarians think igboland ends in imo river.

OtunbaChibok:
And this statemement actually came out of d mouth of a sitting governor?

Most of our leaders are no better than motor park touts with their uttrances.

Shame on you ,Govenor Wike.

Governor Aregberascal promised anyone that plan to rig be better rig his life

Amaechi said if APC loses, they'll form a parallel government

Dullardihoo Bubu promised dogs and baboons will be soaked in blood with a demonstrative weapon in his hand.

Oba of Lagos promised lagoon drowning.

Why do you think wikes word carries the brimstone viz a viz the happenings in Bayelsa, Kogi?

biggiyke:
The hefty guy got down and went into a hut.
Seconds later, he came out with the key. Behind the hut was my precious baby. She was just like I saw her at Cotonou. Ever so sexy.
We tried again with the battery of the Avalon and my X3 started. Slowly but surely, she drained the battery and sputtered to a halt. Hiliary called a roadside 'rewire' that claimed to know BMW. I was not in support of any roadside tampering with my baby. But Hillary assured me that the guy knew his onions. Reluctantly, I accepted.
He said it was the alternator that had gone bad. Said it cost 15k at Ladipo. Hillary offered to bear the cost of the alternator and I would deduct it from his outstanding balance.
I left back to Lagos. Soon as I got home, I checked the price of a 2012 X3 alternator. The chepest I saw for a refurbished one was $600!!! Where this rewire wan see alternator for 15k? Hope he doesn't intend using a pencil light camry alternator!!
immediately I called Hiliary and expressed my reservation. He once again assured me of the rewire's expertise.
I had a very dull sunday. Church sef no sweet me. My mind dey Badagry.
Monday morning, the rewire said the alternator he bought was not the right one. Na there I begin doubt the guy true true. I asked him to stop all activities and return my alternator to my car. I will tow it down to Lagos on tuesday.
To my surprise, Hiliary called that the guy had gone back to the market. I called the rewire and he said he had seen the right alternator but the cheapest he got was 70k. That was reasonable to me given that it cost $600 for a used one in USA.
I asked the rewire to return my alternator as e bad.
Tuesday morning, I waited to hear that alternator has been fixed so I could arrange for towing. Na so I wait till night. The rewire couldn't fix back the alternator. While trying to force the alternator with an iron bar, they ruptured the oil cooler.
My clean carfax certified 2012 BMW X3 was gradually turning to an abused Badagry condemned 2012 BMW X3.

To be continued....

You're fuvking funny crazy man. You know your onion in entertainment but my blood pressure is gradually building up.

FYI... My family members knows I'm on your thread!

Useless thread. Everyone has a price.

Some had even mortgage their conscience

biggiyke:
I got to Badagry around noon. I called Hillary and he picked me up in a Toyota Avalon with tinted glasses front and back. As I enter back seat, he was with two other hefty guys in the car already.
I greeted them, good afternoon sir, one by one, three of them individually. I humble. I fear. I started praying.
We zoomed off. The driver was doing like 160kmph heading towards Seme border. after like 5 minutes, I asked Hillary, bros shebi u say the car dey for Badagry? He smiled. I thought of all my sins and wondered if I had enough time to confess all of them before I go.
I quickly sent a BBM message to my friend with Hillary's name and phone number and a description of the car. Just incase I make front page on Nairaland with graphic warning attached.
I started praying and confessing my sins from Primary4 cos that was the class that I got spoilt. Just wen I was about confessing my SS2 sins, I noticed the car slowing down. And then we veered off the highway into a sandy path towards palm trees and the beach. I gather my last liver and asked Hillary, bros u know say my wife just born? He laughed again. I cried.
Soon, we came to a halt and one of the hefty guys stepped out.

To be continued...

I swear you have killed me with laughter. Lol

biggiyke:
The govt of the Benin Republic, aka Cotonou, appreciates the importance and value of the auto importation business to their economy. Thus, they try to encourage importers, mostly Lebanese, to import cars to West Africa via Cotonou port. It will interest to know that this Cotonou auto market services not only Nigeria but other landlocked West African countries such as Mali, Burkinafaso etc.
One such way of encouraging the auto import business is to reduce the financial burden of the importer by transferring the duty payment to the customer.
Most of these Lebanese import hundreds of cars monthly. Imagine paying duty on each and every car and then the car sits for weeks or months waiting for a buyer. Rather, the importers do not pay duty. They simply move their vehicles from the ship to the market.
When finally any car is sold, the buyer will pay duty. This frees up capital for the importer.
In my case, I paid 500,000cfa (196,000naira at 1,000cfa/392naira exchange rate) for the Cotonou clearing.

I hope by these few points of mine, I have proven to you that I can also be educative. Thank you.

Not only educative but highly informative.

So in reality cars exported to cotonou doesn't incure demurrage since the have a working sales policy?

You made mention of retrieving your earlier deposit before making payment in cefa equivalent, doesn't that form part of your bargain?

Sorry for my numerous questions, it's geared towards making your thread an interesting read.

Jackrich:
Dakuku is a serious clown I swear.


This stooge in the making called Dakuku simply have no idea that the same disdain we have for Amaechi is the same disdain we have for anything that is associated with him.

We are already seeing what is happening in Osun and some other APC states and it would be stupidity to jump into the same party. My simple advice to some strangers in Rivers state especially Port Harcourt is simple - stay indoors as any form of intimidation by khaki men would be met with greater violence that would make Buhari to react negatively setting up chain of events that will forever change this country.
Whatever they wish for in Rivers State the APC will get it double.

They don't know Wike. Let them try their luck.

Omotayor123:
Omotola: Don Baba shey make I give you my mama to marry

Don jazzy : No thanks, infact no go that lain

Omotola: "we can catch fun after the show, what do you think?"

Don Jazzy : "what da fvck!

biggiyke:
9am no call, no car.
I called Hillary.

Guy, how far na?
Oga Iyke, something happened o.

My heart beat revved up to 5000rpm. Redline.

Wetin happen?
The driver just called me now, the car is draining battery.
How?
Any battery we put, it will start, then after awhile, the engine will die. The battery is not charging. We don use like 3 batteries already.

That was my conversation with Hiliary. I knew I was in relegation battle with Chelsea at that moment. Car wen I use my hand and leg test drive for Cotonou. Car wey them drive from Cotonou to Seme border with him 4 legs. Car wen I suppose take enter club that night. Chai!! According to Mourinho, I felt betrayed.

At that moment, I just assumed that he wanted to make some quick cash from my desperation. Maybe, he wants me to send money to 'fix' the car b4 it gets to me. But I wasn't to be fooled. So I told him not to worry. I will come to see the car wherever it is. He asked me not to bother that he would take care of it. After 30mins, I couldn't hold it anymore. I called him that I was on my way to Badagry. After all efforts to discourage me, he accepted.

11am. I left for Badagry.


To be continued....

My question.

Since you bought the car in a park right there in cotonou, is there any need for custom clearing? I was of the view that cars at the lots already have the cotonou duties integrated in their prices.

Point of order... You should make this thread educative instead of self servicing. We expect hints, fact and figures, challenges, etc.

tunene66:
Let's say d truth. The reason why Govt will not spend much on oil subsidy n can do away with it in 2016 is because the price of crude oil on the market is too low. Price is presently below US 40.
It's therefore not a matter of efficiency or productivity, it's primarily because with no subsidy at the current crude prices PMS shouldn't cost more than 100 naira

You're not versed in international economics. Nigeria is a monolithic economy and our dependence on oil is the bane for our underdevelopment.

In the international market, oil is our comparative advantage and when there's a sharp drop in price, Nigeria government will devalue the naira to cushion deficit at the expense of its citizenry.

Practically, as oil drops, government will devalue naira making you pay same amount you paid when they'd subsidized.

omenka:
There's no gainsaying there's gonna be a severe slash in subsidy payments in the forthcoming year given the whispers about the policy in government circles.

Given the state of our financial fortunes at the moment, it is absolutely imperative that the policy be done away with and the monies saved from so doing channeled into the development of critical infrastructure to stimulate the economic growth and development we all yearn for.

With just a few nairas that was saved from subsidy removal some years ago, we all saw what Baba did with PTF. The projects, most of which are still visible to this day due to their quality, bear testament to Baba's prudence and sincerity when it comes to usage of funds.

I believe he can do it again if given the chance.

I know some folks would wanna call me a hypocrite for being supportive of this when I stood firmly against it in the last admin. Let me state for the record and for the last time, most of us who did did so because of the sleaze that was the hallmark of Jonathan's admin. We knew nothing good would come out of it and indeed we were proven right by the revelations made by Christopher Kolade, the guy appointed to manage the funds saved from the partial removal: SURE-p was a humongous scam.

It shall be well with Nigeria.

I expect Dullardihoo to wave some magic wand so that things can work effectively to at least save you of your numerous justification and undesirable excuses.

Sorry buddy, it seems your task is getting tougher than you anticipate everyday.


Back to the present economic doldrums, with subsidy, petrol is being sold way above regulated pump price today, what economic indices is this minister using to forecast market regulations even without the subsidy? Telling us that the demand force will less than supply or aggregately, demand will meet supply at an equilibrium state making price constant even without local production?

They Chant agents promise us to stabilise world oil price and make the dollar equal to naira. That's to say in the international market, our balance of trade will have no deficit. In fact a healthy economy to say the least.

I don't know about the rest of Nigerians but I've accepted reality that I've been scammed.

Except this is a plot for a drama series, I don't see the need for the suspense.


Please kindly continue ooo

gists:
Una no dey hear word? I said pls save us your ranting explanations. Or na so e pain you reach to reopen this thread? You people never wanted to hear other peoples' explanations. Why should you bore anyone with yours. If all those verses were from Quran (or other religious book) you would have been shouting and happy to feast on it without giving the smallest thought to the possibility of quoting the book out of contest.
First you people said no terror verse in the New testament and even the old testament (where the bulk of despicable verses are) have been superseded by "the grace" in the NT. But when just a few similar terror verses are pointed out from the so called grace-filled NT, you change gear to the bible is filled with parables and others need special divine knowledge to understand. As if the other religious texts are not sometimes in parables too and also require special divine understanding (which your brothers and sisters didn't bother to seek before castigating others).

Christians are like the Quran is filled with terror verses but there are just a few bad words in the bible (OT/NT) and you need special divine knowledge to understand - sheer hypocrisy.
I repeat, terrorists are in every religion and every nation of this planet. The more you close your eyes to terror acts of your brethren and white supremacist master, the more injustice you do to their victims and by extension putting more lives in danger.

What are you explaining in Islam?

Is that that Mohammed fought wars, slew people, marry toddlers, rape women and finally repented?

What did Mohammed not do that's worthy of emulation?

Abagworo:
Hating continues

https://s26.postimg.org/z5r548xax/0garden8.jpghttps://s26.postimg.org/m028woyhl/111abab.jpgwww.nairaland.com/attachments/539327_allseasn_jpge25ef4a23e68cb8179749e7134944c79https://s26.postimg.org/51rxmlno9/owerri3.jpghttps://s26.postimg.org/nuohfvqft/0garden9.jpghttps://s4.postimg.org/knncme371/tmp_Owerri1_resized2101332741.jpg https://s26.postimg.org/622x8097d/0garden7.jpghttps://i1154.photobucket.com/albums/p535/egheleghe/Owerri2010.jpg https://s26.postimg.org/og8uy8w49/0garden6.jpghttps://s26.postimg.org/tcchpxw9l/0garden4.jpg[img][/img]

Ohakim legacy. The clean and green initiative

Lilimax:

There're 2 types of female specie.

A woman and a girl.

I usually don't entertain girls cos I am a woman

This government is out to exterminate all southern technocrats and politicians using voodoo strangulation before the next election in 2019

Kanu Nwankwo was on the campaign train of Jonathan including Yobo right?

Next might be Nollywood.

gists:
I didn't want to say anything on this thread until I read your post.
Trust me, I am not doing this to make you convert as you said.
I am only doing this to help you in eradicating your ignorance
so you won't talk carelessly in future - especially in public forum.
So, here are just a few to wet your appetite:

Matt. 3:12 (Jesus referring to the Pharisees and Sadducees i.e people)
And now also the axe is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.

What would have said if the Quran said pluck off your eye in order to enter heaven. Here is what Jesus said IN NEW TESTAMENT

Matt. 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.
Matt. 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

I know you believe the Quran was spread by the power of the sword. But here is what the Bible says again in the New testament
Matthew 10:34
Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.


Lets move over to Corinthians
1 Corinthians 15:24
[Jesus] will turn the Kingdom over to God the Father, having destroyed every ruler and authority and power.

15:25
For Christ must reign until he humbles all his enemies beneath his feet.

Micah 15:5
I will execute vengeance in anger and fury on the heathen, such as they have not heard.

Romans 13:1-4
God has allowed for just wars throughout the history of His people. From Abraham to Deborah to David, God’s people have fought as instruments of judgment from a righteous and holy God.

I am also sure you critisize islam for marginalising women. Let's turn to the New testament book of 1 Timothy 2:12
But i suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence (their is another translation that said women MUST BE IN SILENCE

And finally (at least for now)
Luke 19:27
But these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and kill them in my presence.

BUT WAIT!!!
Before you click the reply link, PLEASE don't bother to explain these verse BECAUSE YOU DID NOT ALLOW MUSLIMS to explain their verses too. So save your explanations since you didn't care about ours

Jesus mostly spoke in parables. So I will not challenge your ignorance as a Muslim for your unlimited knowledge of his words.

Christians are those that summit to the teachings of Jesus christ and following his ways of life and not the Jews law and traditions. Be careful not to have a contradictory view on Christianity and Judaism.

Jesus sojourn on earth was all for PEACE and he never fought any one or war. How then do you expect his followers to behave contrary to his teachings in respect to the quotation you've highlighted?

Concerning Women, God said I made them male and female. He also said no one is greater than the other before me. Honestly if we're to be true to ourselves, no sex is superior to the other because we pass through the same conception.

Jesus christ never discriminate on sex.