Abomination!
How can you do such a thing?
You need to pray hard, pray very hard so that you can dream that dream again. This time, add indomie to what you're giving the person, or at the very least, add bread.
How can you give somebody only egg? Wetin he wan carry am do? No wonder he smashed it on the ground and pretended it was a mistake.

If you have a strong spiritual life, you will never be afraid of whatever happens in your dreams

Always shine your eye.

Immediately you leave your house, be ready to display werey (a.k.a crase) on demand. You cannot survive as a gentleman in lag

Always be right, even if you're wrong, no gree, still continue to dey ginger ontop. Then use scope to disappear from the situation.

Last but not least. In whatever you're doing, no smile, just strong your face. I cannot tell you the number of times I've lied my way out of trouble because I strong face dey talk. People start having doubts about whatever you're saying the minute you start smiling.

This is gospel according to the streets of Las-Gidi.

Chai! He must have a beautiful "soul" (a.k.a bank account).
Imagine having a nightmare and waking up to see this face! I'll just sleep back and continue my beautiful nightmare

Most times, "My wife" is a statement of fact or intention.
"Our Wife" is nothing but whyning from the oloriburuku friends of the boyfriend.
They all know the guy is keeping the girl in the house just to knack crase commot from her punna, but they most-likely enjoy her cooking. QED

Peace!

Mtscheew, ordinary 40mins dey make you para? You are still a toilet learner.
If I never dey 1hr, I never start.
Inside the toilet is where I'm at peace with myself, and I'm one with the universe. I leave all my worries at the toilet door before I enter.
If you know how many great men don get inspiration ontop toilet seat, you go know say toilet time is blessing time.
Peace!

Mtschew
Knowing Ozo, he most definitely massaged that leg throughout their stay in the hotel while shouting "I feel loooike" upandan.. pant he no see

hmmmm

Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most!

I'm very sure your "girlfriend" is not up to 18years.. you better dont do anything sexual with her, dont be a rapist

Lol, it seems you've not taken time to study nairalanders.
If a dislike button is implemented, I assure you that the number of idiotic comments on this forum will triple.
People will create new accounts and intentionally post rubbish just to get as many "dislikes" as possible.
No be today nairalanders (a microcosm of nigerians) begin dey crase.

Lol, you go quote bible tire for that marriage.

Anyway, just know that you're dealing with a closet feminist that will show you her true colours after marriage. If you're cool with that (some guys are), then proceed accordingly

I was nacking her doggy-style and her very tight-looking ass (tighter than the relatively loose vj) was just staring at me, inviting me. So I decided to ""mistakenly" chook díck there, as I target the hole like Robin Hood, put just the tip o, this girl also "mistakenly" turned around and punched my face.
I lost my erection for the remainder of the night. We eventually slept in awkward silence.

Chris525:

I'm guilty as charged. Pls tamper justice with mercy & comment on the issue.

ok sir, my dîck is basically indifferent as I no get time to waste ontop there. 1st round 6-8mins, subsequent rounds 15-20mins. Once I don dey pass 20mins, I go close eye, stiff my body, concentrate wella so as to release ASAP.. if she no reach orgasm within that 20mins, na she sabi!

When you've finished exalting yourself and sucking your own díck, kindly let us know.

Meantime, let me prepare your Dickies award, as na award you wan collect.

Ola you dey jonze too much.

The question no be wetin dey her mind, na wetin dey your mind. You like am? You wan make una run serious parole? You just wan dey nack am?

Whatever the answer, make your move accordingly. When you act, her response go tell you wetin dey her mind.

QED

Lol, no worry yourself, the only change that I've seen on Nairaland since 2005 is the font.


...and the pictures on image ads.

lammylam:


Lol! That " ehen baby" part got me laughing! Dem don so you well well abi

Lol.. Dem don show me better pepper tire. Now if anything just affects my piece of mind small, if I can't fix it, I ignore it or totally cut it off. Life is too short to not be at peace.

mtschew... How many ladies these days give a guy this much peace of mind to enable him be as free and playful as this?
Before you open that nail polish, u go hear "ehen baby, remember that wig I asked you to buy for me...?"

Justbehave:
We heard you,simp. You can now go.

Oga, dat guy no be simp because of that thing wey him talk. He said the truth..
Incessant complaining about women means you're letting them get between you and your peace of mind.
Try make u no dey do like turkey abeg

Lol, Don't spoil which fun abeg?
What exactly is the fun in creating a thread specifically designed to bash females without even stating any purpose.
This OP na turkey

Hmmm

Contact tracing

Hmmm, these are all good tips.
I'm of the opinion that deep down, most guys in the friendzone actually know that they're in the zone. The problem is that they're just too weak and powerless to escape that zone of perpetual despair.
OP, kindly make a list outlining how our lost brothers can find their way out.

A girl I was once involved with was batshit crazy.
During sex she would always ask me to choke her until she passes out, and I will always shout NO! I can't be testing my village people.
One day while she was riding ontop, I decided to get freaky, stretched my hands to her throat and choked her a bit. This girl instantly became possessed by unclean spirits, went from zero to hundred in 5 seconds, started riding like crazy, twitching uncontrollably.
Next thing I knew, she took a pillow, covered my face, and started choking me back while shouting "please babe, pass out for me babe!". I just threw her away and ended the relationship there. Iss nor me you will kill.
That's the best, weirdest, and scariest sex I've ever had.

To be honest, I dey nack like fool whenever I enter villa.. Sex easy pass anything there (even inside bush), and the kain styles dem dey give me ehn, Kamasutra dey learn. Although I have observed that village girls are waaay cleaner (and smell fresher) down there as compared to the city girls.

Having said this, I believe it is fallacious to think village girls are more innocent and not as sexually-exposed.

Everybody spoil everywhere!!

Threads like these are for people who put women on a pedestal.
Just know in your mind that about 90% of these girls have absolutely nothing (except their pussies) to offer you. If you eventually "succeed" with them, you end up spending your money. When you understand this, you'll realize that you are the prize.
Relate with them however you deem fit, if they do shakara, move onto the next one.
No stress yourself over chics.

Hey lawd!
E just dey pain me say I come late.

OP and everybody that did not see anything wrong in the lady's behaviour are idiots (plenty offense).

While I was reading the post, I realized OP is a poser, a teenager(or just an immature adult) and a hypocrite immediately I got to the line she wrote about being a republican (WTF?!), and her friends telling her to "panelbe

I wish I can see that guy in the screenshot, I go give am plenty bottles. This is not about guys being bitter, it is about reformatting ladies' brains, letting them know the world doesnt revolve around their bumbum. To all the men dem wey fire that chic for this thread, I salute una... To the remaining that believe she did nothing wrong, una go eventually get sense.

Inshort, I dey go that abuja twitter go find this thing!

first things first, nothing consyn me with this story. I just wan know where una dey go bring all these screenshots from.
All my Facebook now na screenshots of fake conversations full everywhere. person go just carry 2 phones begin dey discuss with Imself for WhatsApp, screenshot and begin to dey disturb people with am.
Make una mind unaself, dem don extend lockdown and I dey para