₦airaland Forum

koladata:
Show me one single mother that is happily single. They all crave for love eventually , the heart is not designed to be lonely. Don't let the western world sell lies to you, if a man provides for his woman and children and still does his works well in the other room, you have no business complaining about him having another woman, as long as he's not collecting money from you to take care of them.

To your first line, any single mother with money will be happy. In this world, happiness is linked to having money. The stories I've read from married folks all point to money. Money is extremely important. Toke is most likely happier than a married woman who knows her husband "cheats", but she cannot leave him.

To the bold, that model worked smoothly when men were the sole or major earners. It cannot work as previously as women now earn as much as men and in some cases, more than men. That very aspect - women earning their own money - has tilted the arrangement. Generally, money brings forth assertiveness and independence to its owner. The more money, the higher the level of independence and boldness. This is gender neutral. Unlike before, women now earn theirs by themselves. Women don dey buy lands, sponsor themselves on vacations, own stocks, crypto etc. These assets and achievements aren't gender neutral o. We've very young women embarking on business trips to China, Turkey, Vietnam etc. Did this happen during the 2000s? Yes. But now, it's a gender equal society. The same economic opportunity that men have, women too have them. So, what would be your basis to continue that arrangement? Women have money now o.

Men and women's biology is different, the millions of sperm we produce every second is not designed for one woman, every woman gets Hot during their ovulation, the way they feel within that ovulation period of one to three days is the way an average healthy man feels every single day of his life none stop. The design is completely different.

I agree with everything here. Unfortunately, many women don't want to accept this basic biological fact and with the money and information they possess, unlike their mothers, they don't want to accept the belief that men can "cheat" without consequences.

What I've observed is that many of our men haven't come to the terms that today's women have changed completely and there's no going back. Way before Toke announced her pregnancy, I already presaged that many financially comfortable women would deliberately choose to become pregnant and take care of the child. Additionally, what I've also realised is that they've witnessed their mothers' struggles and lives and have vowed never to repeat such.

As men, it's on us to adjust with the times on our terms. The very fact that women earn their own money and can control, if they wish to, how many children they want has completely changed man-woman relationship forever.

profchudo:
Good afternoon sir, i want to pursue my master's in Japan. I'm confused about where to start.

- Will 10 million Naira cover half of tuition,
accommodation for a master's?

- Can part-time work help pay remaining tuition while i study?

- How does the MEXT scholarship work?

I don't know where to start from, please help a brother.

Please read this thread from the beginning to the end. Your questions have their answers in the pages.

MufasaLion:
DO NOT TAKE A NGERIAN WOMAN ABROAD. YOU WILL REGRET.

Even you sef. Did you not read that she took him to the UK rather than your post? With all the yarn about taking Nigerian women abroad by Nigerian men, it still happens. I know many of our men who have done this (took their wives abroad) and they are still married to date.

All these online rants no dey work for real life...

motymop:
The government does not create jobs for its youth. What do you expect to happen?

The elite do not invest in education or opportunities; they only extract from the poor and give nothing back. Everyone in government, from politicians downwards, is stealing and these are the role models for many young people.

Musicians now glorify yahoo boys, with their entire industry partly funded by yahoo money. Pastors bless them openly. Parents even encourage their children to go into it.

Even startup founders aren’t exempt. Many were once yahoo boys, and now they sweet-talk investors with stories of “huge markets,” securing funds they partly use to fund a lifestyle.

Our society is deeply corrupt, even while pretending to be very religious. So it’s no surprise that yahoo has become an accepted way of life in Nigeria.

The summary.

The so-called "good culture" many Nigerians parrot is a farce. The religious folks are largely hypocritical as they don't practice what they preach.

Unfortunately, nothing much can be done about it. Traditional and government officials have been apprehended for the same yahoo yahoo activities. It's a race to the bottom. When the elites and prominent people in the society engage in activities, whether good or bad, don't expect those activities to be curtailed.

The lure of easy and quick money is so strong.

Rictech:
Lmao no oooo, i don't plan to return or fail the admission process.

Just that this is part of
Guidance for Required Document - COE Holders(work, Long Term Stay) :
Flight Itinerary *e.g. Itineraries issued by travel agents or on the internet.
You are not required to book or purchase flight tickets at the time of visa application. The
Embassy of Japan is not responsible for any cancellation fees.
Flight Itinerary must include 1) Flight number, 2) departure date and time from Nigeria,
3) arrival and departure date and time for transit, 4) arrival date and time in Japan, and
5) departure date and time from Japan.

There are agencies and services that can book to and fro for a fee just for the purpose of visa application. Your actual ticket should be one-way.

koladata:
You don’t really get what that means. Look at 2face’s ex-wife for example, living alone as a woman isn’t cool, with time she’ll feel it. No matter how bad 2face is, it’s still better than having no man. She endured his flaws even when 2face had over 3 kids in that marriage, but once she chose Tiwa as her confidant in their marriage issue this time, boom, the marriage completely over.

Bros, that line no follow again o. Things have changed as women, especially educated and financially stable, can remain single till thy kingdom come. The belief that a woman cannot remain single forever ended in in 2020.

TuFace sef no try. So I'm surprised you made him to look like the good guy.

nedekid:
What are you saying? What do you mean it has nothing to do with Tinubu regime? People are struggling to make ends meet, families are sleeping hungry, do you know how many people I know that have fallen out of the middle class into poverty? People having 3 cars now trekking, downgrading the schools their kids attend etc, kids can no longer digest milk as all they drink when available is fake milk not full creme. The lucky ones are those that japa before see finish entered. Imagine grown men over 50 years of age going abroad under cold to start life again after this regime and apc in general wrecked havoc on them.
Lets not be conservative with the truth, call a spade a spade, apc, buhari, oga at the top devastated Nigerians. Once your phone rings these days, you consider the caller, do a risk analysis before picking because you do not know if it is billing you will receive. Na so e be before?

Most of those people campaigned and voted for Buhari in 2015.

Nobody should complain, abeg. No one forced them to marry and have 500 children then later voted for a man who promised to phight kwarruption.

Rictech:
Thank you, i have figured out.
Please, I need your candid opinion. Since my program is for six months with an option to continue for a master's degree, should I book a one-way ticket or a round-trip ticket? Could you also kindly ask other research students you know who are already there for their advice or what kind of ticket they booked? cc blackbriar

One way ticket. Do you intend to return to Nigeria afterwards? Do you plan to fail the admission process into a master's program?.

Lovelydaisies:
Ah, egbon, this your story funny me from the beginning, sweet me for centre, come slap me for the end. Make you and yours truly reconcile and work things out, biko. Cheating is bad, as much as what leads to it. You sound like you have a lovely family/home.

So what the woman does by weaponsing sex against her husband is good? Why do we seem to downgrade the importance of sex to a healthy man, let alone a married man?

Ezmans:
don't be supprise he may be a runaway criminal in india

There's no way a runaway criminal would own such a popular establishment in Nigeria and the Indian government won't be aware. Also, he studied at the London School of Economics.

Bendeco02:
@ Op you're wrong.

Not all women will marry, take note of that. Expecially southern/christian women.

Women are more than men in number. Even if all men marries three women each, women will still remain.
This is the reality some of them failed to know. Instead they are busy imagining the kind of man they need while they are more in market.

rich men combined

A simple Google search with all the AI search engines would show you that the bold is false. There are more men than women in almost every country. What you mean is marriageable men; yes, they are fewer than the available women. But by sheer numbers? There are more men than women in the world.

It's not everyone, male and female, that would marry. Let's get used to the new normal.

Big Daddy China is at again

No LGTV, no war, no bullying. Just investments, jobs and pork.

Wouldn't you love to do business with the Chinese?

PrincessDiana:
This is a Buhari project from 2022.

This did not start under This administration.
I dont understand all these propaganda. Nigerians are so gullible.

Buhari and Tinubu are members of the same party with similar policies. That being said, Chinese investors under the present administration promised to invest up to a billion dollars in new factories should the business environment remain favourable.

franchasofficia:
Mined, processed and shipped out to China as raw material. Then use it to produce finished lithium batteries sold to Nigeria, Africa and the rest of the world at a much higher price.

Honestly, sometimes it feels sad to be a Nigerian

Nothing stops Nigerian entrepreneurs from producing lithium batteries. Why didn't any Nigerian entrepreneur set up such a facility? Why should the Chinese do everything for Africans and in Africa?

kettykin:
It looks a bit organized but I am not impressed

This is witchcraft. Why aren't you impressed with a lithium processing facility?

Even with two children, life still toff like this.

Nna mehn....

franchasng:
I acknowledge the points you raised as very big factors in what has been responsible for increase in poverty among Nigerians.
But those aside, how about those that have good jobs but refused to control the way and manner they
Many guys got good job, started well and ended up marrying one zero ambition, lazy, zero talent, zero skill, zero dream girl in the name of mistaken love, and such marriage end up destroying all their hardwork and future prospect.
Marriage is very critical to every man's future. Who you marry matters a lot. I am married and I am telling you this from experience.
Many great guys doing well for themselves got slowed down and some sent back to square one by the woman they married.

Let me stop here for now

A significant proportion of such men married women who have too many siblings and extended relatives. They married these women and as a result of cultural reasons and pressure from their wives, they took up the responsibility of providing for their wives' relatives/siblings. This is alongside sending money to their own immediate family members.

Honestly, anytime I reason this arrangement, I wonder the benefit a married man, aside from politics, gets in Nigeria.

indigenous234:
Chief, a majority of Nigerians poverty is caused by bad government policies and not these things you listed below. A country of such large population and landmass like Nigeria has its only truly functional seaports in one state of the entire federation. How many of such retrogressive policies will I mention?. Do you know how many graduates are roaming the streets after up to 10yrs post grad without jobs? And you dare insinuate they’re lazy or not working hard or smart enough?. Do you know how many graduates that are driving buses/Keke or doing dispatch rides and earning less than 200k per month?. Nothing breeds poverty like government policies and we’ve had it worst since 2015.

You made great points especially with reference to 2015. However, the majority of Nigerians whom you sympathise with vigorously campaigned and voted for Buhari in the same year. What do you say about that? In 2019, the same Nigerians voted for Buhari. The 2015 election had seemingly educated people who still maintain their obduracy to date campaigned and voted for Buhari. So why sympathise with such people? They knew what they wanted, and they got it.

Seeing such a mentality amongst the majority, it behoves on others to adopt better practices aimed at avoiding poverty. Number one method is fewer children. Nothing beats having fewer children.

Anyway, to solve the unemployment problem, we need a lot of good factory jobs. And yes, all other seaports have to function optimally for this to succeed.

Bearfruit:
so one should marry for money not love?

There is nothing like love. Even if there is, love cannot exist in a poor society. People who lack basic needs cannot love. It's not in them to love. Love cannot thrive in hunger.

Rexie59:
Honestly, I feel poverty in Nigeria is not just about all these. A big part of it is that people don’t have access to proper opportunities to grow their money.

Take for example, many people are scared of investments because of all the scam stories. Meanwhile, there are legit platforms where you can co-own real estate with little money and actually earn steady returns.
If more Nigerians had access to transparent systems like that, we’d see less poverty because people won’t just be depending on salary alone.

Or rather, if Nigerians were honest enough so they collaborate amongst themselves while delaying gratification in order to become financially stable?

Our people like quick quick money, that's why MMM and CBEX thrived. They want it now now whereas wealth takes time to build.

A young woman in Nigeria is mostly likely to be killed or "used" by a poorer man rather than a financially stable man. This is to dispel the notion that only financially stable men "use" or kill women in Nigeria.

DoctorStanley:
Pick your fights! It is not every fight you get into.
This stupid government should be making it easy for Americans to come here and spend their money.
Unlike Nigerians going to US, they don't come to make Naira. They come here to spend money!

Nigerians don't understand tourism. Everything is gra gra to them. Implement visa free access to citizens from countries with a GDP per capita of $20K. Sure way of attracting tourists.

Nfest:
Ok thank you for the response. Pls I have another question: is it a non appearance visa because all I saw from the site I visited is they asked to only book appointment with jvas not Japanese embassy itself.
Thank you

What's a "non appearance visa"?

Ever since the introduction of JVAS, I don't know how the visa issuance process works anymore.

nwirinedu:
When I look at the activities of these miscreants I find hard to believe that the governor is a Professor, doesn't sound like it at all.

Ayade too was a professor. Soludo's own is the worst:
- His children, especially his daughter who studied at the University of Reading, lives in the UK. His son too resides there.
- Soludo worked at the IMF and World Bank. Soludo was a former CBN governor o.
- Soludo graduated with a first class and has a PhD.
- A man who promised to make Anambra "Africa's Taiwan".

He's the quintessential Nigerian elite. These are the people who compare themselves equal to the White man.

Is it not the same Anambra where Soludo boys harass women in mini skirts?

I remember when that law was introduced, which I condemned, but many supported it because it was against "indecent dressing".

Women don't have it good in Nigeria.

Rictech:
I also received mine this morning, and i have been trying to book appointment. But the earliest available date for jvac lagos appointment is 1st week of next month, Abuja have appointment date for this week. blackbriar and Gerrard. ard59 , any tips on when to check for possible change in appointment slot ?

There is no tip. You do as instructed. You choose the dates available. You're not the only applicant, remember.

BTW, why not ask the visa centre itself?

Nfest:
Greetings, I just got my COE form from the school. My question is how do I apply for the visa?
Do I just go to the embassy with my passport and the COE form.
Honestly I am tired of filling Japanese forms. The form filling is just too much.

Thank you

You better get used to it. They LOVE physical forms and they are too slow in administering their daily duties. They are methodical, but way too slow.

Please read about filling the form on the embassy website. An example is provided. Please use the Internet. Every information you need is there.

To thrive or be stable in Nigeria going forward, it's pretty simple.

- Ensure you have a consistent, sustainable (growth options) and legitimate sources of income
- Have fewer children. This is the ultimate. The average Nigerian family need not have more than two children.
- For financially stable bachelors, avoid ladies who have too many siblings, especially if the siblings are still young or teenagers. The alternative is to check if her parents would be fully responsible for their care till they become adults. Too many Nigerian men take up the responsibilities of their in-laws whereas they should focus squarely on their new families
- Have fewer children.
- Avoid unnecessary expenses and keeping up with the Joneses. Shoe get size. Don't do follow when your power no reach.
- Have fewer children

Five years ago, I created a thread on managing expenses as a Nigerian: https://www.nairaland.com/6035550/nigerians-poverty-certain-acts-perpetuate

Tempulated:
Recently I did my survey with regards to the current situation of Nigeria.
My interviews with single men and married men showed single financially okay men are more happier than married financially struggling men.

Share your experiences on the streets.

I'm curious (no harm intended),

- On average, how many men did you interview?
- In what part of Nigeria did these interviews take place?
- What kind of questions did you ask these men?
- What is the age range of these men?

There are many more I could have asked, but let me stop here. Your survey is actually a very good one though, kudos.

emmaodet:
I think most times, the women are too comfortable in the marriage.
Don't get it twisted, women on average like sex just as men.
The same women withholding sex will do nasty things with a junkie outside or start having sex for survival regularly in the man divorces her or the she becomes a widow and needs to survive on a relationship.

If so, then these women don't like their husbands. Else, why would a woman deliberately withold sex from her husband even when she enjoys it? The same woman won't stay without mocking or disrespecting the man if he doesn't provide. So why is provision constant, but adequate and frequent sex isn't? Her husband o

The painful truth the society is shying away from is that for most women to perform, they have to be on a slight pressure and not on a relax mode - polygamy if it is affordable (so that it will be in a woman's interest to keep performing to her hubby, else would be pushed aside and forgotten) or a man should forget marriage and just keep women in relationships, that way, it is in her best interest to be having sex regularly with her boyfriend else, the man has a good excuse for dating someone else which may lead to kicking her out.
The best solution to a non-challant attitude or laziness is OPTIONS.

Unfortunately, the side chicking model hasn't made these women to prioritise sex for their husbands. I think they actually like it as long as the man provides, except in cases where he transmit a disease or the lady (mostly financially stable) decides to opt out. But the dishonesty from women about the issue detest me. Men know that provision is essential, but women deny theirs. Then, you have some who say frequent ejaculation doesn't reduce the occurrence of prostate cancer (which is lie as frequent ejaculation reduces the occurrence) or those who arrogantly ask: Is sex food?

I really loathe dishonest people! I really do!