₦airaland Forum

tmosco:
Won't d name still die after u,since ur children will be bearing ur husband's name. What is d point. It only if u and ur husband agree to change ur surnames together.

Please where did you see me mention anything about NAME in my comment?? besides who told you that any name is dieing??
Maybe you didn't read the comment i quoted and the portion i highlighted...

because a woman is married and now bears her husband's name doesn't mean she shouldn't have anything to do with the father

toys2seven:
Ever wondered what would happen if suddenly world presidents came together and agreed to pass a bill to see DIVORCE as a punishable offense and death as the penalty?
Oh boy! what exactly can't my imagination bring forward.
But seriously, the rate of divorce is getting way out of hand. before it was three in every ten marriages, now it's five in every ten marriages - HALF!... 50%
So what if I become the president and put down a law that says once you're married, you either stay that way or you literally carry out the "till death do us part" part of your vows, would that in some type of way reduce the rate of broken marriages here and there?
Forget the western countries and middle eastern... the rate is the same everywhere and even our so-called clergies who have witnessed and performed the marriage rites for new couples are not left out from the brouhaha of this insane issue ravaging the structure of our society. Funny thing is, some even see divorce as part of modernism and civilization - Never blame people with twisted minds.
Continue Reading : http://www.maturemindstalk.com/2014/10/death-for-every-divorce.html

of course it will reduce the rate...But murder rate will increase

Rosarie:
i use it only wen it is relevant.once u re married u ve nothing to do wit ur father anymore.ur kids and u shud have a unison name.

This one is strong o
So my own father that doesn't have a son now should forget that he has children anywhere when all of us get married abi? Or maybe keep trying till he gets a son that will have something to do with him even after marriage...

so what will be their children's surname?

tyconcepts:
Would it really be wrong for a man to adopt his wife's maiden name just to make way in life given the current economic situation of the country amidst other "what ifs" plus we all know some names do opens doors.

I don't have male siblings so i may not have anything to say. But since we are all girls, we don't bother with stuffs like that. Even my dad is already used to it and he keeps saying that he knows he lives in a girls' hostel..... However, i have male cousins, nephews, niece etc and i don't think i can consciously go naked or UnCloth in their presence....

Naturally, i am a very shy person. My husband is the only male apart from my dad in whose presence i can say i have been naked/undressed without any shame or care..

But personally, i don't really see anything wrong in it. Just that the devil na bastard o

@nikky5- please tell your friend to be quick with his divorce proceedings and stop wasting the ''fat'' woman's time.....

naturally:
Yes, a monthly festival during which men bath with the blood that comes out of a female underneath and also put a drop of the blood in food.

bukatyne:
Happy Birthday to Nashville (my NL elder bros) and I

Like he will say, wishing us both all the billions, long life, blissful marriages and wonderful homes.

God bless you my brother

Did a card for you

Send my cake and presents

Happy birthday to both of you. Wishing you long lifes, blissful marriages and wonderful homes

Odilafta:
Something tells me that Op wants the man.

Is the OP not a man?

.....

Yields:
If he is really thinking about divorcing her, he is an idi0t and you are equally an idi0t for asking this question on his behalf.

[quote
author=tatiana009 post=27146253]He he he JJ has found his voice after
Tayo left the room. I'm a man too lmao this is now big brother[/quote]

menme:
a dindinrin that can't see clearly you meant to say


a dindinrin that can't see clearly you meant to say

thanks for
telling me what ''i already know''. You didn't have to say that twice. I
already got the message the first time

[quote
author=Phema post=27142888]Oh, he told you this during the "confession"? So he confessed to making
advances at the maid and also the sister on saturday? Hmmmmmmmm. Sorry
for calling you naive. I was quite passed.

You will come out of this stronger. Just take your time, think things
through and make the right move. God be with you. [/quote]yes he said/confessed all those on saturday. Now i don't know if confession is because of maid or her sister or both of them...

@Phema- going through my post, i never said i took it as a joke or swept it under the carpet. I learnt about all of these same day and time. This weekend. My silence doesn't mean i am naive sha. I just want to be sure i am about taking the right steps.

alutacontinua:
@Godmystrength, why are you waiting
till weekend to discuss with the young lady?

I get home very late
and i will also have to wake up very early to leave for work. I don't
think it is a kind of discussion that can be rushed over. And i don't
want to discuss half way to avoid her getting prepared for the
continuation. right now, they all have a false sense of security... or what do you think?

Phema:
Will like to know. . .

The maid's sister(not blood related though) also works as an executive maid to some staffs of a company (just the next street to ours) but she doesn't live there. She has slept over at our place on a Friday/environmental Saturday and like on 2 other occasions...
My hubby bought an AC from her boyfriend and installed it (i just came home and saw the AC in our room). However, because of some disagreement concerning terms of payment, hubby/boyfriend agreed to uninstall AC and let everybody go there way. Boyfriend told girlfriend and she called hubby to insult the living day light out of him. When he told me, i was shocked. I asked if it was more than the AC issue..... He now forbid our maid from going to her sister's place nor her sister coming to our place.. When the maid told her sister, she called my hubby and called insulting names if he doesn't go through with his threat...... I wanted to call the lady, but i wanted to get to the root of the matter before knowing whether to call or not(all this happened like 2weeks ago)

I guess i blanked out when hubby was doing his confession but i just now remembered him talking about nollywood movies where some husband committed an atrocity against his wife and was been blackmailed by the other woman. he was saying the man could have saved himself all the stress by just letting the wife know instead of falling into the blackmail trap..... he now said that he has jokingly made advances towards the sister and that could be responsible for all the insults because she feels that he won't be able to do anything for fear of me hearing ( :oOMG!!!!how could i have forgot all these... It is just coming back like a dream.. I wonder what else he said that bounced back). Maybe it was due to the headache i was having then...

Well from what i just thought through, there is a possibility that the maid has informed her sister of the advances and the sister has done likewise.. Maybe she/they threaten to report to me and hubby acted fast by being a step ahead of them....

God what do i have on my hands now?? bucket full of shit!!!

wish it is weekend already

snazzylove:
Hmmmmm... Who is he planning to bring in Let it not be what am thinking. You need to watch it, seriously.

Please what are you thinking?

smokescreen4:
Why is he in a hurry to chase her away? please quiz that maid and get the truth from her, I just hope she is not pregnant. it's well with you.

I hope not

Come to think of it, with all the responses i am reading and something i just remembered, i am thinking he was just blackmailed to confession.... will be back with details.
i just saw this thread and just want to peep in and see people's opinion
https://www.nairaland.com/1944210/why-nigerian-wives-chase-out

xandyE:
Ok o, am not angry o, just thought dat since its a serious situation for d OP dat it doesn't hv to be joked with

Okay o

xandyE:
Understand d statement I made, I said "Am a relationship/marriage Councillor". But if u don't understand dat then I tnk u hv to go bk to primary school.

No need to insult me because i didn't insult you with my statement. I was just joking at the expense of the OP and that is why i put the smiley...... But if that is how you feel, no vex o AUNTY

@edwife, hispinkolo, snazzylove..... thanks. I am really taking my time to analyze the whole scenario and its just so sad that this happen/is happening.....

Our medical checks is just around the corner so we will be doing all the tests. No need to even raise the matter of test because he can't avoid going for the checks.

I am just allowing myself believe that nothing happened between them, though i know it is a possibility....

@edwife, i pray and hope he finds something doing asap too.... (i think i have tried my best in that area and can't really think of what else to do about that for now)
@snazzylove, talking about skills, he says he is a born marketer o . he wants nothing else than buying and selling

I can't say for sure the reason for his confession but i just know that after he finished talking, he wanted to call the maid to join our discussion and i remember telling him not to bother calling her to my presence yet. However, he still went ahead to call her and i just could not even utter a word in her presence because i felt so ashamed and embarrassed at the same time..... I asked him when it started and he said it was about 2-3weeks after she started working with us (this girl has only spent 2months with us)

I even asked when he use to have time to make the advances and whether they will just abandon my baby to one corner or what? He said he doesn't go to her when he is with the baby but usually when baby is sleeping (which makes it look like a calculated attempt and not just a spontaneous thingy which leaves me more confused)......

I was even forced to wonder whether he has been at this kind of thing for long which might be responsible for all our previous maids leaving for no tangible reason and why he was so much against us employing an elderly woman at one time like that.....

Yesterday night, he told me that the lady said she will like to go to her village during the festive period to spend time with her people and that he doesn't want her to come back and he already has someone that he wants to replace her with....(infact, he is already thinking of how to send her away by this month end) I told him to just leave me alone and not rush me into his plans..... What is he even up to? Only God knows jare

Infact, the whole thing tire me......

......

@Looking4job

pickabeau1:
Ok.. I wil leave u with one word..in due time and season...it will be alright
Pro 21.1

Thank you

pickabeau1:
Hmm.. this is the major challenge.... dont get any loan.. please
Not being fully engaged timewise is allowing him have too much time and that is the danger
It is well

I have no intention of getting any loan for now. I don't know how else to engage him..... He's got so many offers in time past and people are no longer taking him serious

pickabeau1:
if i may ask...How far with the job runs for hubby

nothing in that aspect. He is still bent on not doing any paid job. He wants to do business and so is still waiting for ''help from above''. Now he is talking of wanting to go to dubai.... Where will the money come from?? he even suggested that i get a loan from my parents for him......

Icherishu:
my love I don't really know what to say. After all you have passed through. I will advise that you talk with the nanny and know what she was up to and why she couldn't confide in you initially. Sha this could have depend on how you guys might have lived.

Then talk to your hubby and understand what went wrong. You have to know what happened, and why he did what he did. If you send this one away, does it mean you don't want another maid again. I feel this one is a good girl that is why she didn't fall.

Just know that if you send her away be ready to stay without a maid. Cos u ain't sure that the one that comes next won't be the one throwing advances at him. And you know some men lack the will power to avoid temptation.

Think less about it but pray for God's direction.

Na so i see am o. i will have a discussion with her this weekend though.
Then decide what to do next...

I already asked hubby what happened and why he did that....He said it is not my fault at all. That he is just frustrated. Having to sit down at home all day doing nothing and having no where to go....

smokescreen4:
@Godmystrength you're a good person I have followed your story and I enjoy reading your posts, your husband is a good man at least for being honest, it could also be dat maybe your maid threatened to tell you, whatever the case I want to believe they didn't do the do, forgiveness might be hard but you have to forgive. Why didn't you get a much younger maid? get to hear your maid's side of the story too, God will see you through remain blessed.

I can't get a younger maid. I need a matured somebody that can take care of a baby..... Well, i intend to speak/have a chat with the lady this weekend and then i can take it up from there.. Thanks for the care

synergycom19:
Most of the comments here are full of
amateurism.married men should be the only ones to coments on critical
issues of marriage. Look the WIFE has no has no rigth to give herself
to any man other than her husband. Because he paid her Dowry,
Biblically, she is not equal with the husband (it's only the western law
that made the woman equal and even more privileged than the man)and
that's why there marriages don't last. The woman is guilty of Immorality
and you should not hesitate to Divorce her. Because
1, your life is in danger
2, she most likely not be able to stop the acts
3, you may father a bastard
4,you will always remember that betrayal
5, you can't trust her again
6 you can't love and give her the desired care

so we that are not married men do not have sense and hence should shut up