lightking99:


bro pls that is my opinion and advice to the guy doh not pertainin to every woman doh
and I know d guy so well, if he tries it heis digging his own grave

sorry sir. be not vexed that i put my mouth in matter wey concern me not....

cococandy:
Amen somebody

Amen!!!

aisha2:


Babe your phone is off oh.
Can you check up on that our thingy.

na network o.. will check now how body?

dre11:
Lertee
Godmystrength
Desire7
Babe2sure
Trypa

Cast ur votes ooo
Team Africanapple
Team rozzay

i have voted for them ooo

MsJessica:
Thanks @ all for the responses!

I came to this forum (family section particularly) to pour my heart out not only because I consider it a section with mature peeps but mostly because I'm so depressed and wanted to talk to someone and equally ask for help.

Even if you can't offer the monetary help, @least words of encouragement won't kill like a few people have done, to @least help me stay strong. I came here because I'm confused and don't know what to do, and don't have anyone to turn to. Ain't we supposed to be a family here anymore?

It's only those that have been or seen what frustration and depression is that will understand my predicament. They are the ones that can tell you that, there is nothing that instills Suicide feelings in one's mind heavily and faster than depression. It's something I wouldn't wish my worst enemy.
Thanks again for your time.

you didn't have to blackmail peeps with suicide anyway....

lightking99:


Yep bro it depend but some guys marry because d lady is rich which is a wrong reason to marry

Rich women too must also get marry now abi? except you are saying that they should keep looking for men that are richer than them or stop getting richer/put their life on hold just to find a man to marry them...

pickabeau1:
It is easier for a poor woman to have respect/fear for a richer man

Thank God you said it is EASIER and not that it is a CERTAINTY
and that a woman fears a man doesn't mean that she also respects him.

lightking99:


bro that is a different case because she made it wen u are in her life.

The reason y I agree with the guy is because the 1ce I know the men are just housebois or they are seperated.... Talking from experience bro.
But if u are married b4 riches comes in your respect is there aready

making it when you are in her life or before you came into her life should make no difference really... Or are you saying you will not have respect for a woman you married after making all your money??

A woman who has no respect for you doesn't have it for you, whether she is rich, poor, was rich, was poor whatever......

If a woman wants to stop respecting you, before you can blink your eye, the respect is gone so forget about ''your respect is already there''

500k is a ''lot'' of money... why not look for something that is not capital intensive for now while you work towards your goals??

miqos02:
advice her to play the fool for three months by submitting the salary and see how it goes.


how come the man knows her exact salary

isn't he suppose to know??

...

lightking99:
we are just talking about that in my office, the women said there is no problem, because a guy said he cann't and I support him dor, y because there will b no transparency from the side of the woman and no geniune respect...... Share your view

so what if you marry her poor and she becomes richer than you later, what will you do to her?

I vote
1. TEMIGRACIE
2. AFRICANAPPLE
3. ROKIATU
4. ROZZAY
5. OMOLOLA1

coogar:


horseshit!
pounded yam is the same everywhere. do they even have taste? it's the
soup people enjoy, not the pounded mould.

if the soup is grade A, whatever you eat it with would go down well even
if it's a ball of cotton wool. help your wives to help you.

this got me rotflmao....hahahahahahaha

ukandi1:


d man did not threaten to cease her salary and then spend it for her....
Lets get this thing straight, d man only said bring ur salary and i
will bring mine then we sit down together as couple and plan with it.
This is very okay.. Even God would approve of this.
Its unwise for people in nairaland to picture men as evil and enslaving
thier wives cos they ask for her financial involvement in building a
home for both of them..
My humble OP

@kibi- this is your friend's husband here. You can ask him all your questions...

foxgiovani:
Lots of childish comments here. The man is the head of the house. If that is how he wants it, so be it. The day he married her, it would have been defined that her salary is not part of what he's marrying. If she was spending the money to the benefit of the family, I don't think the husband will be making such request. Some women are not qualified to live under the roof of a man. They should remain single and climb on top of themself and get pregnant if they want to reproduce.

I don't understand this part sir. Please be kind to explain. Thanks

5minsmadness:

Its is socially unacceptable to hear that a man gives his salary to his wife. Having said that I know of a couple who the man does exactly that, reason being that she is more prudent in spending than he is. He has no saving habit and found out his wife does better at saving and planning family expenses. So he gives her his salary and she calculates the amount of money he needs for the month and gives him back while saving the rest.

So even when the man na oninakuna, society has nothing to say about it or the society does not know that their are men like that.. anyway sha, na their family....
As per the rest of your response, that is how a good family should be... Let any of the spouse be responsibly for the areas where he/she specializes and not having some strict protocols that must be followed even if it is to the detriment of the family..

If there is a joint account where we both contribute ALL/PART of our salary and BOTH make decisions on how to spend it, then no problem. But if there is no such arrangement, and i now have to withdraw my salary from my account to give him to pay into his own account and he now decides how he wants to spend it, then i won't be a part of it....

On another note, i see where some people are saying that it is possible for the man to demand for such if the wife is a careless spender...... Okay. But can a woman also demand that her husband submit all his salary to him because he is a careless spender (there are also men like that and not only women are guilty of such) who squanders all his money on nonsense and end up borrowing money which the wife also gets to pay back part of the debt and also suffer for his actions?
Or is this just something only a man can demand for..
I am asking this to know if the man's decision is for the betterment of the family or just a way to prove some ish to the woman?

5minsmadness:

It was a gift to myself for reading the whole thing. It weren't easy at all

congrats!!!!!

5minsmadness:


Em, yes, but what do you think about the points you read?

I am not looking for tips to keeping an AFRICAN MAN so i will just pass....
Before OP go come dey abuse person now with chronic Yoruba....

Anyone that agrees with him is a deep woman
Those that disagree are omo ale alaileko etc

I am just here to entertain myself with the comments

5minsmadness:


I read this from the beginning to the end
Click 'like' if you did the same

why did you have to quote the whole post? Na wa for you o...

simpleseyi:
All the people that have been harassing the OP, just line up, kneel down, hands up and close your eyes. Are you all saying that it is good that his wife and the mother in-law have been visiting future-tellers and marabouts like Nigerian politicians? Is it good that his mother-in-law does not have respect for his mother?

That is nonsensical. I will never take that. I am not surprised anyway, most of the posters are not married (I envy the unmarried folks, lots of girlfriends and boyfriends to fvck around ). It is a must that mothers-in-law should respect and regard each other; respect is reciprocal. That however, is not a reason to send your wife packing oooo. Your wife comes before your mother and far before your mother-in-law.

Your wife has to go your mother and apologize. She must not leave your mother's house until your mother forgives or pretend to forgive her. If your wife keeps begging your mother everyday and refuses to leave your mother's house, your mother will have no other option than to forgive her because she pleadings will become embarrassing.

You will also have to convince your wife that she needs to talk to her mother (your mother-in-law) that if your mother-in-law really wants the best for her daughter, your mother-in-law should find a way to make peace with your mother. Elderly women should know how to sort themselves out.

Talk to your mother too, let her realize that she should be interested in peace in your family and not putting you in unnecessary difficult situation.

It is not even certain that it is true. The mother is just trying to use that to back her claims of her son been ''possed'' whatever that means sha.....How did mama know that MIL visits sooth sayers? or is it that both of them have met there before? Or is it the babalawo that came to tell her or her friends


and this ish about MIL not respecting his mother i still don't get. Are they not suppose to respect each other? how come it is the MIL that must give the respect and His mother do the receiving? Because she should be grateful to the mother for birthing the man that came to marry her daughter and delivered her from the bondage of spinsterhood abi?? Respect is reciprocal...... If the 2 mothers have issues, let them go and sort out their ish and leave the children out of it.

makzeze:
i am humble to say am the bread winner of the family. I support them too. I live in different city far from them.

So what is now the problem? I even thought you all live in the same house- you, wife, children, your mother, your father, your siblings, your uncles, your mother-in-law, your father-in-law etc

simpleseyi:
Yes, it is for lazy wives just as automobiles are for lazy husbands. The distance from Lagos to Abeokuta is just 100 kilometres, hardworking and strong husbands should be able to stroll from Lagos to Abeokuta, afterall it is a straight line from Iganmu through Stadium, Ojuelegba, Oshodi, Iyana-Ipaja, Abule-Egba, Sango and finally Abeokuta; no turning, no sharp bend, just walk straight down.

Wicked

I vote for

Temigracie

AFRICANAPPLE

Rokiatu

Rozzay

MarthaK

NABSPRADA

Cupidora

FIDIRA

OMOLOLA1

Odilafta:

Uses the wrapper to blow catarrh,ties it firmly again and kneels in obedience to grind pepper.

you be correct african wife o. Your oga is so lucky to have married you... don't forget to use procold for that catarrh o because he will not tolerate you blowing catarrh all over the place

I wanted to read everything, i tried to read everything, but i had to stop reading at a point. The post is just too long and refusing to finish......and with the different colors.....

And @Ilekokonit, why are you abusing everybody in your language? Is that African Manly?? and how are you any better than the people you are accusing of ''running motor mouth like meter''?? Shey jeje o.... Pelepele dowo e o...

Odilafta:

*Loses one end of my wrapper and uses it to start fanning the wood*
''My sister,what can I do? The chidren have to chop''

haba!! you are still fanning the woods ni? when you should have finish pounding the yam/fufu for ''oga na master''.... Oya go and bring out the grinding stone lemme help you with the pepper. I don't want him to be mad at you oo...

Odilafta:
*Kneels lower in reference and continues blowing breeze into the firewood*

.. Are you sure the firewoods are not wet because the smoke is hurting my eyes o

makzeze:
My mum ordered me to divorce my wife 8 months ago . Reason is that her mum doesnt respect her and she goes to sooth sayers that they have possed me even though i have taken her back the marriage two months ago which i kept in secret and she was one month pregnant then.
She just put to bed last week. Now we are blessed with 2 daughters. I engaged my uncles to reconcile the matter . They even told my mum that they are taking back my wife for me by force but my siblings keep frustrating it. Thier argument is that if i take her back my mum will be embarrassed .They fear of comments that will follow it.
My mum told me if i take back my wife she will disown me. Please advise.

You mean your mother asked you to divorce your wife because your wife's mother (your mother-in-law) doesn't respect her (your mother)?? and you went ahead to do just that?? .. I wish you well then. Will try and be remembering you in my prayers..

aisha2:
Good morning my fellow sisters in laziness. Another blissful lazy morning for me.

my sister, wetin dey happen here o?? see as yabbing full everywhere... na wa o...