₦airaland Forum

SirAweezy:
Jeez! I think I've got "Shylock " on my case lol.

Well that's the only way to beat the wife.
I'll keep mum over this, it's a pity its already on front page... Thought it's gone to be in-house *sigh**

kids should not be used as instruments for getting even with an erring partner.

SirAweezy:
egbedore: now to my advice; I want to believe you matured enough to take some bold steps.

Make sure you record your wife, where she is saying she is cheating and there is. Nothing u can do, and also some other unhealthy utterances. (Pls capture the voice well o)

Save some money or if you already have, please get out of the country with the kids please. (Never late to start a new life)

Don't discuss this with anyone.

It's that easy, incase when the law clapped down on you can tell the the reason why you need to go with the kids. Thanks and best!

why does he need to do that? Does he own the kids alone?

bigheart2013:
It's distracting. Perhaps having occasional scheduled lunch and happy hour after work is more professional. Always give your spouse space to do his/her work because if that job ends, money dries out, if money dries out, wahala begins. if wahala begins, na woman go first run -4x40 say you be lazy man with no goals in life. She will start dating your friend with money, then you hear that and plan to kill your friend. Before you even carry out the plan, you'll be caught and sent to jail for 8years. While you are in jail she will sell your property and have 2 kids for your friend. You will hear that in jail, get very upset and become gay....

what!!! kilode??

SirAweezy:
You talked abt men cheating; a man is already at will to steal from pot, bt when a woman do the same, the. Ending isn't a Good story(only few survives it). Decode!

I never knew men are potential thieves o. however, just because something feels good doesn't make it right.....
Politicians steal and they are celebrated, a commoner steals and he/she is lynched..... Does that still makes stealing good/right??
What else is there to decode.....

Plus where did i talk about men cheating??because i can still remember what i talked about

Godmystrength:
Please address cheating generally and stop condemning only a particular gender....
Same way he is not likely to stop till he drops dead....
besides, i never knew a cheating woman can kill o. Please tell me how?

why do you equate cheating with stealing by the way

SirAweezy:
Let me tell u the truth.. I don't belong to the school of tought though, (but its the reality). there is nothing like gender equality in this world and it will never happen, the man wil always be the head and will always choose a way how he. Wants to live and direct is family, and. Note: no equality in marraige, a man can take up as many wives as he wants why? Can a woman do the same even though I knew of a woman that did in the 'States' (people still throws tantrums at her).

Personal will: I make my life what it is today because I want to be responsible for generation to come, and also make sure I show my wife the love and care I promised, but the other way round(not me though) I'm at will to become what I want to become like marrying more wives and have children everywhere if I chose to and still commend my respect. Aas long as I'm taking care of them all. (That's what a man can do)

I am talking about cheating and you are talking of gender equality/inequality and marrying many wives. Marry as many wives as you like and let your wife know that she has other co-wives and not start sleeping around and having mistresses and concubine all over.....

rebella:
I get your point about sending her away being just a temp solution. I am pretty sure that you are trying to find out what is missing/ why he would want to cheat. Please find out the reason and still send her away and start afresh with a new maid.
Leaving her in that house is like telling a cocaine addict to sell coke in rehab. Its too tempting. Plus the maid may lose respect for you and your husband or she may start telling neighbours how your husband wants to bang her.

hmmm... Na wa for this life o

SirAweezy:
Seriously, this guy need serious help o, do you know what it takes for a woman to cheat in a marraige She is not likely going to stop untill Age50-60(except a miracle happens)

Please address cheating generally and stop condemning only a particular gender....

Same way he is not likely to stop till he drops dead....

besides, i never knew a cheating woman can kill o. Please tell me how?

SirAweezy:
Choiiii!!!!! brossssss!!!! This your story enh they make my belle dey purge! Aaaaahh! Jesus christ of Nazereth!!! Jesu oo!

And she stood in front of you to spill this? U no get bottle for house This is going to make me get upset throughtout 2day I swear! Ah!

You dey mad ni bros? Mi gbo ri mehn! Omo mehn except if she is feeding you o... Pls asin no even wait for any court rubbish... Show her the exit door abeg.. I dey beg you in the name of God! Infact abeg I no mind help you call awon boys to assist you throw her things out I swear...

You cheated (so freaking bleeping what??), she knew, u repented and she want to pay back.. Bros u mumu Jo.. That woman will kill you I. Swear, please jst go an paste ur obituary jo you are no more alive for real!

Really?? Just calm down o jere

egbedore:
The only thing wrong here is what ℓ̊ have mentioned in my thread. ℓ̊ love my wife and takes care of my kids.ℓ̊ also try my best in caring for the home front. Till this morning,ℓ̊ bathe my kids,clothe them,sweep at home,wash plates etc just to assist with the home chores!

welldone o. may God crown your efforts with success. Amen

egbedore:
Cos ℓ̊ don't want any further complications from any external influence. And when issues as this is being discussed, the women folks has a unique of reasoing it out. Nothing more than this.

Whatever is been insinuated is not me,meaning ℓ̊ can never get involved with any lady again in my life. Never again

Okay. i get you now...

But don't you also think that those your wife's so called boyfriends are only using her for what you intend to use the women folks you are looking for

rebella:
@Godmystrength, sorry for what you are going through. Marriage is full of ups and downs, this issue will be a thing of the past soon. I hope the maid is no longer in the house ?

She is still in the house. i don't want to take any drastic step yet. besides, it is not that they even stay in the house together most of the time. We leave the house together in the morning when he drops me at the busstop and takes the maid and my son to his mother/my MIL's house. He goes to pick them in the evening before i get back home. I can't tell him to wait for me to return before picking them because it will be stressful for my baby to be moving him at that time of the night when he should be sleeping/getting ready to sleep......

besides, sending her away is just going to be a temporary solution or what if this continues, how many will i be sending away?

pickabeau1:
Lol..why u come dey harass me na

Ideally since he has sinned too he should forgive
But this one that he is looking for bootycall...

Don't mind me...

Their case is too strong for me to access jare....

pickabeau1:
So what do you recommend he should do

I honestly have no idea...

alutacontinua:
Is this a difficult one? Yes
Are you supposed to be shocked? Hell yeah
Can you get through this? I strongly believe so
You're a very strong woman, your posts in the past reflect that. Your love for your hubby is undeniable too.
Just calm down, take a deep breath and you'll see you can get through.

I want to believe he hasn't done the do yet, not that it makes it any better but it's something. You need to talk to the nanny and make sure everything's alright with her, be sure nothing has gone down and apologize to her (I believe you brought her into the house and it's your duty to protect her). Apologize for your failure in doing so and if you have to, let her go (with a thorough explanation that you're just trying to protect her), if you have to give her some sort of compensation, please do so! As per hubby, I don't know what to say yet.

This is tough and I sincerely feel sorry for you. We're all here for you, darling



How old is the maid in question if I may ask? Please, tell me she's above 18

yes she is above 18......
After telling me all, he called the lady and apologized to her in my presence. I was just looking like a zombie all through

egbedore:
Any female single medical psychologist here? Or a lawyer. ℓ̊ need to talk to one. If there is any,just quote me here and send your contact so we can talk. ℓ̊ am running nut

why that specification?

pickabeau1:
Well..she's a deliberate one n she is honest
Its all about payback but rather than being discreet...she's doing it in ur face.

What do u want to do

That is the question he is asking NL. why are you redirecting his question back to him??

5minsmadness:
Once or twice is ok. Just don't make it a habit. Else you'll be known round the office as the monitoring wife.

I have been in a state of shock since saturday. Don't really know what to do. Hubby called me for a discussion to beg me because he has offended me. Not in the mood to type long story. Summary is - He said he has been making sexually advances toward our nanny/maid
I haven't even said much (i was so shocked and the only thing i could asked was if he was sex starved?). Health wise, i am strong at the moment. Just trying to get myself fully recovered

5minsmadness:
Choi. So my mata don reach nairaland

Stop lying jere

That is why you need to know about the cultures/tradition of the family you want to marry into to avoid stories like this one

ferdimako:
You included...since nobody is a virgin or married as one...nobody has the right to talk.

for you to say this with this high level of certainty, then i might not be wrong to ask if you are the one deflowering everybody?

lastchild:
so you are also too slow to notice that
she commented off point

tani ogberan yi mehn? Pele tie o olowo ori yachikka...

SeaGold:
Who said they are single?

Majority of them in each episode of BBA were previously married or recently separated from spouse.

I don't mean that kind of single. I mean single as in ONE person. Single as a number not as a status

SeaGold:
Yes agreed but marriage is a psychological warfare.

I watched the current BBA hotspots few days back when a female housemate confessed that women think they are still dating when married and blamed her fellow women for the unprecedented divorce rate in the world. That was my previous argument to sophyrocks assertion

Though I don't see any disparity in our arguments on the subject, we are only approaching conclusion from separate dimension

A single woman's confession is not enough to conclude...
besides, why do you have to change from what you were while dating to something else while married?
The problem is that after saying ''i do'', spouses start coming up with rules and expectations here and there and now complain afterwards that the man/woman has changed from the person he/she got married to......
however, i don't see anything wrong with sophyrocks' assertion..

pickabeau1:
hmmm.... let me tell u more......this century is renowned for sex without consequence
sex is routine

bootycalls
runz ism is now fashionable - babes are proud to be called runzers
baby mamas abound
absentee sperm donors on the loose saying no be my pikin

welcome oo

Na wa o. Anyway sha, i am already praying for my children in advance

pickabeau1:



Welcome to the 21st century... actually that should be 20th century

maybe i was slow in arriving...

SeaGold:
Fa fa faaaaaa...fowl!!! This is pure fallacy of modern day rhetoric.

The mentality you exhume is what is killing marriages nowadays. Real marriage can never be in equilibrium so it requires sacrifice, understanding and patience. So garbage in garbage out is pure mechanism of evil enterprise.

Marriages are failing nowadays because the traditional concept that instituted marriage is no longer acceptable to the women folk who believe in equal representation. The core value of marriage had been eroded by western style liberalisation and if we Africans will continue to upheld this "cultural shock" on our belief system, things could get even worse.

both parties must do the sacrificing. not fair for one party to have it all, while the other party does all the sacrificing.

pickabeau1:
its called civilisation

sex without boundaries.. carry go

civi kini?
This should ONLY happen in marriage. Nothing more..

yeye things. adonbilivit

Yomieluv:
Maybe she is dirty,and the only way her husband can tell her is with this cake.

so the cake was the husband's idea?

crackhaus:
It's easy to get carried away with the excitement and feeling of being desired by someone of the opposite sex especially on social media where it can be masked as just 'fun'.

But leaving kids to go hook up with someone in the same Abuja where her husband works is what makes the story kind of improbable...either that, or the woman is veeeeeerrry stuupid

I don't believe the story anyway. I have seen it somewhere sometime ago

RoyalRoy:
Never Touch His Phone...... Shikena....

why can't/shouldn't/won't i touch ''his'' phone?? or can't/shouldn't/won't he also touch ''my'' phone??