₦airaland Forum

Mercychen:
Hi fam.

Something has been bothering me of late and leaving me emotionally and mentally stressed and drained for the past weeks and I'm cut between the devil and the deep blue sea.

There's this bro we're trying to see if we can work things out. though, I never really wanted anything relationship again or at least for now until I'm decided later in the future on what I really want for myself.

Before, I delve into the main discuss , let
me quickly highlight how it all started.

Some months back, My publisher came to deliver the books I ordered for. So while sorting the books, he just got teasing me like " Babes, na wa o. What's up with your romantic life now?. I've never seen you pulling with anyone. It's always work, biz Money money money I see you pursuing. Lol... I just told him, guy, free me abeg and I went on counting the books at the boot of his car.

He now walked up to me and said, on a more serious note, what is happening? So I told him it's a personal choice cos I dont have the strength for relationship brouhaha now. He agreed with me that truly its not easy and even as a married man, he too feels the heat but the good thing is, he married in the Lord. So I should choose wisely from among the brethren.

So he said, he has this family friend, an eligible bachelor, who wants a decent lady and I'm the one that comes to mind each time the guy mentions it because since he's be dealing with me, he can vouch that I'm a very honest, hard-working and decent lady. So he would want the bro to have me.
That was how I got to meet bro.

Now fastforward to the main reason of this post.
There was this particular day we tripped out to cool off and discuss about US. So we got talking and planning on how to build our home in a way that we will not be caught unawares with some setbacks and unplanned responsibilities. So the issue of children came up and I suggested we have only one, which he reluctantly accepted after much convincing. So we tried to look at ways we can maintain that decision and I suggested a vasectomy. citing the possibilities of health risks (as a result of mismatches ) and failures that might occur if the family planning is done on me but with vasectomy, no issues. He looked me in the eyes and said, "my darling" no!

I was dumbfounded.... And became a little worried because, if he has no plans of having more children, why would he kick against the idea of a vasectomy?

If we are going to be one and follow one course, why shying away from a plan that will benefit us as a couple and a family?


Could it be, he only agreed to have one with me and plans to have more else where?
Is vasectomy a life threatening condition?

I was still trying to wrap my head around his refusal, when he said, it will be done on you ( the family planning). That instant, I felt all alone, like im on my own. So I told him I needed to cool off, and he said feel free.
I left the tent and went to the waters prentending to be playing with the water. He came and dragged me out of the water. we strolled without a word and I asked him to take me home. He did.

He called when he got home. I was cold to him so, he promised to call again but since then Ive refused to pick his calls or reply his texts.

The big question is ..
WHY DID HE BLUNTLY REFUSE A VASECTOMY?

COULD HE HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES?

IS IT NOT BETTER TO OPT OUT NOW THAN PRETEND I DIDN'T GET THE MESSAGE AND END UP IN REGRETS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A MAN KICKS AGAINST VASECTOMY?

NGpatriot:
[s][/s]


Stop barking, we are not begging to walk and we are not going to drag you from abia to walk in Lagos.

Go and sit down.

AsomArchitectNG:
Even the Bible said wisdom is profitable to direct. What i simply deduced here is a man who has spoken with so much wisdom and intellect, unlike some of our new generation fire brand brigade pastor that'll want to create an impression that God has spoken to them and will sprew trash just to impress their gullible followers, and at the end of the day you'll see things unfolding in the opposite way of what they've said earlier..

NGpatriot:
This is the maturity the useless sorosoke hoodlums missed and did not get, advocating for peace is a plus, not a minus, and it doesn't change you or take away your personal values, ideals and beliefs, it doesn't and shouldn't stop or take away your activism.

Rejecting the invitation with venom, crude and crass utterances and insults reeks immaturity, lack of self-worth, bad societal manners and home training.

Sanwo Olu outfoxed them, they should have called his luff, but fell into his trap.

Lagosians in their tens of thousands will join the governor for a peace walk while the sorosoke immature and brainless toddlers watch on TV regretting their puerile actions.

Benwallt:
Those bank ppl are culprits. 7k was taken from my account some minutes pass 12am 3weeks ago while I have my ATM with me. To cut the story short, the guy that was attending to me after staring at his system for too long unconsciously yanked " I must buy this car at all cost" you need to see his countenance after realising I was seated right in front of him. If you gonna get your money back depends on your bank

wunmi590:


Some of our men with this their shallow mentality, I guess Nigerian men should stop thinking all Nigerian women are gold diggers...

If I have the chance which I'm currently working on, I will take my wife along, infact, I can't travel out for long without letting my wife be beside me...

No be every nigerian woman bad

Johndagr8t:
jos was formerly known to be a peaceful city, but the hausas are the real definition of trouble

plaindealer:
Why are you throwing tantrums with all your crude and crass comment?

Word for word, I asked you the same question you asked other people, so how come all of a sudden your own question turned into local tout?

Since I reversed the same question that you asked, do you not see that you are also a tout and everything you called me? Do you not see how hypocritical and contradictory you sound?

This is the problem with intolerant and crude people like you, you are too arrogant, you think you are above even your own words, you think other people must share your warped views and when they don't, you are allowed to call them names, you think you are allowed to question other people and their motives, but you can not be asked the same thing.

You see how pointless, petty and hypocritical you are?

It didn't even take much to expose you for what you are, a petty and contradictory hypocrite and intolerant goofer.

oyatz:
She testified at the panel months ago but she was just attacked now and you think this attack is connected to her testimony at the panel?

If the Government want to kill her, they would have done so in a more perfect and effective way.

ThickSharon123:
Abeg, leave him alone. Doesn't she know she's a woman and she has power. I would never beg a man repeatedly. If I beg you once or twice and you do shakara for me, you're history in less than a week.

Depressed101:
500,000$ In nigeria where labor is cheap?? Since you are just starting out why not improvise and really see that your first movie comes out m.... Ha. $500k ke

Maxymilliano:


I can't remember ever coming across any advertorial by EFCC calling for interested buyers for the seized vehicles, so what become of it after court pronunciation ?

Maxymilliano:


I can't remember ever coming across any advertorial by EFCC calling for interested buyers for the seized vehicles, so what become of it after court pronunciation ?

luizpippo:
You traveled in 2020 and you are already outside for 2 years?

How did you arrive at such mathematics.

GraciousGod190:
Am hurt, 4 years relationship about to go down the drain.first time meeting her parents was last week Sunday, they did welcome me with a smiling face.
After all the introductions and making my intentions known to them I like to marry their daughter.

my girlfriend called me on phone yesterday that she's coming over, which she did and start saying that her elder bro and her mum is kicking against our marriage. i asked why? she said because am an Ssce holder.

yes I might be an Ssce holder, but am self employed doing well for myself (I noi de beg to chop) isn't that enough.

can't an Ssce holder marries a bsc, msc or a phd holder.
why the discrimination towards a brother because of a white man education?
because of a white sheet of paper.

dahmie2013:
My brother, seeking knowledge has nothing to do with age. This attitude is not the best. I still advise you go to school and upgrade yourself.

Ddokie:
It will still consume same quantity of energy.





See all the olodos on my mention.

Energy requirements cannot be shortchanged. The best science can help us to achieve is to identify areas of loss and block them.

My pikin listen to your teacher for class. For where? Na to shoot rubber and to bend head dey look pant una go dey do for class.

LPG is converted to heat which in turn cooks the food. If you require a certain quantity of heat energy to cook a full bag of rice, if you like split the pot into 20 and the rice into 20 portions, combining it with stew, it is the same quantity of joules/heat you will require over time. As a matter of fact you will even require more because every time you cook, you loose a certain quantity of heat to the environment based on the environmental conditions of your kitchen at the times you are cooking, not to talk of waste that arises from overcooking which happens every other time we cook. Add all that to the fact that heat requirements for food differs, resulting to one meal being ready while the other one is just half done. If you leave the one wen don done for fire, na to burn am be that (wastage), if you collect am leave the other one, na to dash environment heat be dat because the food is not well spread in the pot.

In the immediate, he would think he has done something ingenious, but over time he would have to use more lpg, and Buhari would have still won.

If you check properly, that man voted for Buhari, now e wan escape the hardship wen buhari don land everybody inside. e no go work.







And then? Educate me.

Omooba77:
Why are Godly parents not raising Godly seeds?

Adam and Evil failed over Cain
Noah failed over his children.
Isaac and Rebecca did not have perfect children.
Eli lost because of his children.
Samuel's children made Israel to ask for a king.
David was abysmal over his children.
Pray to God to be good parent that will not cause your children to err to God!

shedybaba44:
Hello nairalander, I jus got married march this year, honestly am bored already .

The truth is am an only son so the whole pressure of getting married from my family made me got married although I love my wife she is beautiful, sexy and intellectual but I just miss the bachelor life.

I feel I entered marriage too early am just 29 although am well to do, with my own business and from a well to do home also... but am always feeling marriage is slowing me down business wise and exploring.

Sometimes I just feel like I want to leave the house and do what my fellow friends that are not married are doing.

I am scared I might divorce soon....cause honestly am bored the whole marriage thing just tire me although I go out with my wife and all that...

Please what should I do..??

Is it normal for a guy that is young and just married to feel like that

please advice

wallay77:
This format sweet me like mad....I get one girl like wey I go like reason this kinda parol...na me go sub this yeye girl...yesterday I was chatting her on WhatsApp she was kinda slow in replying,I asked her why ,she said cos her boyfriend is online..eweh ,on top sub wey I use my money do for u....sharperly sharperly I block her told her once her sub finishes she should tell that her useless broke boyfriend to sub her...nonsense

siofra:
This is how bad the misogyny on nairaland is

ogododo:
https://dailypost.ng/2021/10/10/again-lai-mohammed-accuses-media-of-under-reporting-military-successes/

ChineduChinedu:
Please help, I need advice, I am very confused man, I don't know what to do in this situation

There is this girl I met in Lagos she help me find a house in Lagos from there we started dating.

I Asked her to marry me and get pregnant for me. Later she got pregnant for me.
She started disturbing me about marriage rights.

On the wedding day I discovered that she has 3 children for one man.
I have asked her several times even before she got pregnant she keep saying no

A day before the wedding, one of my uncle called me and tell me that one babalawo said that the woman I want to marry has 3 kids already.

All that day I wasn't myself I woke her up at midnight and forced the truth out of her
She admitted and start begging me to forgive her, she said she has been looking for the best time to tell me. All this are happening on our wedding day, she beg me not to tell anyone that it can be secrets between me and her àlone, I insisted that I must tell my people from my state enugu to Lagos

My people discouraged me and said I should thank God for revealing this early.
That's how I cancelled the church wedding.

Court marriage 30th September
Church wedding 2nd October
But Before that wedding day, we did court marriage, I told her that I don't want to do court marriage because if she cheat on me I will divorce her and loose my half of my money she got angry, the first day we didn't talk, 2nd day same, Then 3rd day she start packing her loads, I beg her to stay that we have few days to church wedding she insisted that If I don't do the court that I should cancel the church wedding that she can't trust me without court marriage

We did the court marriage, without my parents consent cuz it didn't come from my heart, her junior brother is the one that sighn for me in the court

I don't know what to do in this situation oo

Her first son is 13 years
2nd son 8 years
3rd girl 6 years
And now she is pregnant for me aa

Am 30 years while I don't know her real age

We have lived together for 8 months before I could discover this
And during this period we have been together
She controls me alots and that make me sad
She shout at me too
If ask me to do something for her and I refuse it becomes problem

Please what do I do ?

ChineduChinedu:
Please help, I need advice, I am very confused man, I don't know what to do in this situation

There is this girl I met in Lagos she help me find a house in Lagos from there we started dating.

I Asked her to marry me and get pregnant for me. Later she got pregnant for me.
She started disturbing me about marriage rights.

On the wedding day I discovered that she has 3 children for one man.
I have asked her several times even before she got pregnant she keep saying no

A day before the wedding, one of my uncle called me and tell me that one babalawo said that the woman I want to marry has 3 kids already.

All that day I wasn't myself I woke her up at midnight and forced the truth out of her
She admitted and start begging me to forgive her, she said she has been looking for the best time to tell me. All this are happening on our wedding day, she beg me not to tell anyone that it can be secrets between me and her àlone, I insisted that I must tell my people from my state enugu to Lagos

My people discouraged me and said I should thank God for revealing this early.
That's how I cancelled the church wedding.

Court marriage 30th September
Church wedding 2nd October
But Before that wedding day, we did court marriage, I told her that I don't want to do court marriage because if she cheat on me I will divorce her and loose my half of my money she got angry, the first day we didn't talk, 2nd day same, Then 3rd day she start packing her loads, I beg her to stay that we have few days to church wedding she insisted that If I don't do the court that I should cancel the church wedding that she can't trust me without court marriage

We did the court marriage, without my parents consent cuz it didn't come from my heart, her junior brother is the one that sighn for me in the court

I don't know what to do in this situation oo

Her first son is 13 years
2nd son 8 years
3rd girl 6 years
And now she is pregnant for me aa

Am 30 years while I don't know her real age

We have lived together for 8 months before I could discover this
And during this period we have been together
She controls me alots and that make me sad
She shout at me too
If ask me to do something for her and I refuse it becomes problem

Please what do I do ?

Ezemarcel:
You are an idiot....

Reasons : she is your girl and not your wife .

In as much as she is just your girlfriend then she is not sleeping with only you ..

She is a community puss,,y

Real men don't behave the way you do...if you are insecured of her then marry her

linearity:
That not withstanding, if he has a good lawyer he can walk scot free. That penal code have a big hole in it and a whole elephant can walk through..

The 'enticing' or 'taking away' or 'detaing' must be acompanied by a criminal intent.

So, the prosecution must prove the crime that he intend to commit using another penal code. Unless, she is underage, then consenting bedmatic between adults is not criminal.

The only 'if' is, if the lady accuse him of attend to rape her, which she can do and even at that; elements of rapes must be proven conclusively.

However, been a poor guy plus the fact that, he resides in a country that does respect her citizens, he will probably get convicted and thrown into jail.

FaithfuII18:
you na third class too, omo una plenty oh, dey waste una parents money.
tufia

FaithfuII18:
why did you graduate with a third class? what made you not to be serious with studies?