₦airaland Forum

@clems
if i begin tackle u na,
na u go beg oh!!

@tufe igbinedion
wetin b ur own sef??
r u feeln lucky dis week

VIVA LA GUNPOINT!!!!!!

@princesa
i cant resist a strong woman,
infact, 4 u merely usin d sign,
u don blow my heart away finish lik i bin blow Udi 2 rubbles som few yrs ago. . . . .
in short, u cant fit b my boooo,
U R MY BOOOOOO!!!!

@tufe
God polish u, devil wear u!!!!!!

@princesa
chey!!
dis 1 u dey find me so,
ground level??
we safe??
i heard bt YYYYYYY??
oya nw miss, state ya reasons in a letter wit d format
*my purpose of findin u is. . . . .*

@clems
mile2 is my barracks annex,
if u c pesin infront my barracks, is it neccesaryly me??
2 times 2, is it always 4??
if u factor in d vectors, determinants, angles??
dats y u nid start sch again & dis time go to 1 wer ur teacher go speak sloooooowwlyyy. . . . . .
jst so u go fit catch up!!!

tanx ppl,
my sources kinda agree wit wat ya'll hav said so far,
still, if der r ppl who knw mor, pls feel free 2 slap ya infro on me.

Finally!!!
Ppl who apreciate a joke. . . . .
somtimes, nlnd can b so boring wit leg breakers
bt im in a gud mood today
so ya'll r lucky igbinedion

haba!!!
does nobory in d house no norin at all??

Sup house. . . . .
i nid, facts, rumours and or jst d truth abt dis first bank 3rd barch tin,
norin is too mundane,
jst yan ur mind & lets c wer we go frm der. . . .
oya. . . . make we begin yan. . . . .

na. . . . .
dem b conservationists!!!

ha. . . .!!!
so it realy is true!!!
u can get d kid out of d village,
but u can nvr get d village out of d kid!!!

*Walks in, slaps evry1 in sight and walks out*

turkies!!!!!!

HAAAA!!!!
Dat str don burn since na!!!
D str wz transfer frm Lagos 2 Kano in 1996 and wz burnt durin d s'haria riots of 2000. . . .

your babe go don fit die by nw!!
You knw i did everything i culd 2 stop that crisis 

Bt if she survive sha,
your best bet is 2 find out her wereabts frm Iteun!!
He is d only bonifide kokolet traffiker on dis land!!!
                         

@sam-miller
der is only 1 bet 1 4real GENERAL on this land and that is mua!!!
nw shut da Bleep up, kneel dwn and crawl off ma tread!!!
                                    

@tj^2
please, go fite your boyfrnd else wer,
i knw you're tryin 2 b romantic, bt i real dnt giva shit!!!

oda posters plz. . . . . .

@naijastyle
yeah. . .
u shuld knw. . .
considerin u blabla him last wk. . .
only 4 her 2 com blabla u dis wk!!!

guns of d same maker, r oiled 2geda!!!

wer r all them vultures sef??
                         

turkey
wer u, i missin all dose your grammatical bombastisities

migs
palava man, mayb u culda bin able 2 put this fineyabber dwn

ifygunny
blabla jst aint d same with out u

iteun
because he jst wnt go away!!!

mor missn yousss to com plz stay tuned!!!
                                 

*BECKONS BOTH OTONDOS CLOSER*
*LANDS BOTH 3 BAC HANDS EACH*

OBO'S!!!

This is a real story of a young exUnilag girl who passed away last

month. Her name was Lola. She was hit by a train at Oyingbo on her way

to work at Apapa.



She was working at the MTN call center. She had a boy friend named

Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred to Abuja . Both of them are

true lovers even distance could not separate them. They were always

talking on the phone. You could never see her without her Cell phone.

In fact she also changed Emeka's SIM from Celtel to MTN, so both of

them can be on the same network, and save on the cost of calls.



She spends half of the day and most nights talking with Emeka because

she gets free calls. Lola's family knows about their relationship.

Emeka is very close with Lola's family in spite of the tribal

differences. (just imagine their love). Before she passed away at LUTH

she told her friends "If I pass away please bury me with my Cellphone"

she also said the same thing to her parents.



After her death at LUTH, the attendants couldn't carry her body to the

mortuary. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't. They called

more people and everybody tried to carry the body, the result was

still the same. Eventually, they called a person who knew one of her

priests in church who had the gift of communicating with the dead.



He sprinkled some salt and water on the body and started speaking to

himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses

something here." Then

her friends told him about her intentions to bury her with her phone.

He asked them to bring a coffin, then he opened it and placed her

phone and sim card inside

the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It could now be

moved and they carried it away easily.



Everyone was shocked and sad, they were so shocked that Lola's parents

did not inform Emeka that Lola had passed away and buried her quickly

because of all the unusual circumstances.



After 2 weeks Emeka called Lola's mom,



Emeka :, "Aunty, I'm coming to the house today, it is Lola's

birthday please I hope you will cook something nice for me.

Don't tell Lola that I'm coming to Lagos today, I want to surprise her."

Her mother replied, "OK You come to Lagos first, I want to tell

you something very important."



After he came, they told him the truth about Lola. Emeka though that

they were playing an April fool's joke. He was laughing and said

"don't try to fool me - tell Lola to come out, i have a Birthday gift

for her. Please stop this nonsense".



Then they showed the original death certificate to him. They also gave

him other proof to make him believe. (Emeka started to sweat) He

said, "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Emeka

was shaking.



Suddenly, Emeka's phone rang. "he said, see this is from Lola, see

this, " he showed the phone to Lola's family. all of them told him

to answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his

conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the

actual voice of Lola & there was no way others could use her staff sim

card since it is nailed inside the casket before she was hurriedly

buried. They were so shocked and asked for the same priest (who can

speak with the souls of the dead) again. This time he brought his

Bishop along to help solve this matter.



He & his Bishop worked for 5 hours.



Then they discovered one thing which really shocked

them,










Scroll down,




































































MTN still has the best coverage!


"MTN Everywhere you go" is true!! Where ever you go, MTN follows!!!


Don't shoot me yet, I am also looking for the person who sent me this

mail, so I can kill him/her too



LOL!!!

*me jst sits 4 corner on top stool, watchin des small children playin 4 sand sand*
kai!!
nigeria ti baje!!!

so ppl, reliabe sources say 1st bank wil nt b carryin out d 3rd batch execise,
source also say dat cos of der salary upgrade, dey r shiftin intrest 2 ond holders,
cheaper by d dozen, can stil do d job.
Bt in 9ja sha, u nvr knw,
u culd hope on, bt i dnt tink my sources r wrong. . . .
peace out. . . .

ALL OF UNA WAKA!!!

@tessy

@poster

nice shit, i mean shite
ok nice piece of shit

my craziest day wz wen i startd at war college!!
but i dnt regret it, tank God i went sef!!!

*i chest am fast evn b4 sauce fit blink*
Haba ify,
wait mak i reach Iran first na. . . . .
Sauce!!!
Dnt evn tink abourrit!!!

Dem don break ya leg b4??


And wer is dat damn turkey again??
nvr around wen u nid him. . . . .

To Zuby!!!

Ify sabi quality, das all. . .
she leav all u monkeys follow true man,
i gat d blabla skills, i get protection,
ifygunnybaba, la u biko!!!

sweetest blabla in d world toooo. . . . . .

Tessy. . .
Tank baba God dat u r bac. . .
tins don pafuka 4 ya absense, iteun don craze, sauce mad,
gigloo kolo naked. . .
i'v bin tryin 2 kip it 2geda but its hard. . .
gud 2 hav u bac

*Bac hands gigloo straight*
Yes!!!
Dats it!!!
Lika dat!!!
Wowo pikin

We'res!!!!

*lands all on d tread two bac hands each*
new cure 4 insanity in d market ppl, NAFDAC registed!!!
Com collect ur own slap nw!!
Bac hand, fore hand, turkey slaps, all der cure craze!!!
Com get urs nw!!!

*sights d broom swingin, gunnybaba dodges shaolin style, broom sweeps sulphur pepper bac in2 gigloo's face*

*gunny follows up sharply wit 2 bac hand slaps 2 gigloo's face, pam, pam!!!*

*before 9jastyle(abeokuta style 4 short) can react, gunny beckons him closer, 9jastyle walks up lik a good boi & 4 his good nature, babagunpoint lashes him jst two bac hands & 1 oda beta slap*

Nw b a good boi & stop gettin in2 fites wit bigger boyz!!!
                                            

*Beckons Ifybaba ovr*
Com on baby mi, oya shw colour re ka le ma blabla. . . .
You knw na. . .
       

*dishes iteun 2 hot slaps sharply 4 misyannin*
foolish boi!!!