₦airaland Forum

I hereby refer to the recent death of the technical manager at your company, and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager.

Each time I apply for a job I always get a reply that no vacancy, but in this case I hv caught you red-handed ooh yes korokoro and you have no excuse cos I even attended the funeral to be sure he was actually dead and buried before applying.

Attached to my letter is a copy of my c.v, his death certificate and his coffee picture.
thank you and I look forward to your by force approval.

yours sincerely
Dimlaw

[img]http://gistmelove..com/2015/08/man-disrupts-girlfriends-class-in.html[/img]

Okay. Always visit http://gist212.com

Photos below;

https://gist.mp3bullet.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/90_basket.jpg

Nigerian A-List comedian, Basketmouth, has taken to Instagram to join in this Skiibii drama. Basketmouth posted the picture above with the caption:

"Thinking of faking my death now since I have a concert coming up on the 4th of October...... hmmmmm.… "



https://instagram.com/p/6Xtqt1HTiW/

I felt so sad today when i got this shocking news from a blog you all know claiming skiibii is dead.. Well, i have seen a couple of pictures of his cux am a lover of instagram. I've never noticed him so much until today when i saw his picture and the faked news on this you-know-who blog.

Well, i can say this anywhere that this is a publicity stunt.. Are you ready to read? . Lets Go!

This you-know-who blog refused wrote and i quote "He was actually dressed to go out when he collapsed and died. I have a photo from the scene but I'll leave it alone."

Have you tried guessing why the picture was not published in the first instance? . Lets continue, you'll understand.

[img]http://4.bp..com/-iuuPqNfmyIY/Vc3c1dMq2xI/AAAAAAAGO_4/IoNhYTqwnq4/s1600/unnamed.jpg[/img]

Lets take a look at the above picture patiently... An unconcious or dead human will not have his leg hanged up that way without any support.. Not withstanding, we still believe he his dead.

Think of this,you see your nigga on the floor without a pulse and he isnt breathing and the first thing you do is bring out your mobile and take such a clear,focused picture and immediately send to you-know-who blog. Hell Nah!

I spot no shock in that picture, that picture is well focused, and shot..

If our dear you-know-who blog has released that picture in the first instance. We would have spotted all these out. So i think you now understand why the picture was witheld in tge first place..

But with all.. I Thank skiibii, you-know-who blog and the entire five star for putting me in shock.

All i have weitten is my opinion..you might think otherwise

The legendary Afrobeat musician, Fela Anikulapo Kuti remains one of the few Nigerian musicians, whose legend lives years after he passed away.


The controversial songwriter, composer, comedian and performer ruled the Nigerian entertainment scene for several years, hitherto became a constant feature in the country’s polity and state.

To suit his biddings and appeal to his numerous fans while taking on the government – mostly the military rulers - Fela coined, rejigged, and rephrased words that have today became more popular as a result of the singer’s constant usage.

Listed are words commonly used by the citizenry but which we owe to the King of Afrobeat!

Though the list is an endless one, We brings to your reading pleasure 10 words made popular by the late Afrobeat legend.

Go Slow

This is a word coined from what the English dictionary refers to as Traffic Jam i.e a long line of vehicles on a road that cannot move or that can only move very slowly. Go Slowbecame popular on the streets in Nigeria after the Fela’s 1972 song, Go Slow, which satirise the infrastructural chaos of modern Nigeria.

Follow Follow

This simply refers to individuals with no mind of his or her own but prefer to follow the crowd. Interestingly, Follow Follow is a track released in 1976 by Fela, to lampoon the lack of imagination of the Nigerian middle class.

Shuffering and Shmiling

As the legendary musician would like to puts it, Shuffering and Shmiling tells the activities of many Nigerians who in this state of deprivation, are yet unaware of their plight and continue to suffer in oblivion.

Roforofo Fight

Any fight that goes messy like is termed Roforofo Fight and this was made popular by Fela in a track from his 1972 album. The phrase was made more popular by Newspaper editors, who gladly use the phrase when there are troubles in any of the government arms or between popular socialites.

Zombie

Zombie is the name given to any individual who obeys before complain and follows orders from above blindly. The word was made popular on the Nigerian streets by Fela after he used the word in a track entitled Zombie to describe Nigeria soldiers’ mentality and brutality to fellow humans like them.

Oyinbo

The word Oyinbo has been a regular parlance in the Nigerian western and South Eastern states to describe a white man or any persons with light pigmentation. Again, the word was put to effective use and made more popular by Abami Eda in the 1975 track Mr Grammartologylisationalism Is the Boss.

Shakara

Shakara Oloje, as used severally by Fela, is an act of feigning an offensive mood and according to the late Fela, who popularized among the populace, the word was “a Mushin word but it was not popular…I made it popular through my records. …When I want to write lyrics, I think about my environment, I think about catchy words, words that can easily be identified with society”.

Yellow Fever

The term Yellow Fever is actually a word for an acute viral haemorrhagic disease transmitted by infected mosquitoes. But in 1976, the phrase, which was commonly used by people in Mushin to describe traffic wardens, was re-christened and made more popular in a track by Fela, who was decided to refer to skin bleaching people as Yellow Fever.

Area Boy

Not many knew that late Fela’s disagreement and battles were not limited to Nigerian police and army but also with neighbourhood gangs, the boys in the area, where he lived. Area Boys was borne out of the need to distinguish between residents of Fela’s Kalakuta Republic and rascals living around the area where the Kalakuta was situated.

Chop and Clean Mouth

Another title of one of Fela’s unreleased songs, Chop and Clean Mouth became popular among the citizenry when describing an act of getting away with corrupt practices or illegality.

...

An unidentified man has released a photo of a bowl of fresh pepper soup which he was served at a bar in Abuja. The fish was served with blood inside.

A closeup photo after the cut


..
Many are of the opinion that because the restaurant wanted to satisfy all its customers, they quickly washed the fish and cooked it forgetting to wash the inner parts of the fish.

SELENAqueensy:
....

Sup.. can we hook up..

Lwkmd.

He shared this on his profile minutes ago..

https://instagram.com/p/5e3SvpqUMU/

Happening right now in the City of Akure, Ondo State. Motorcycle riders popularly known as Okada are protesting right in front of the Governor's Office saying Governor Mimiko imposed on them to pay N6000 for commercial number plates and anyone who defaults will face the wrath of the law and their Okada will be seized and taken to the office of the Task Force put in place by the Mimiko.
The protest has paralyzed activity in the city. See more photos after the cut...

http://gist.mp3bullet.com/2015/07/23/okada-riders-protest-in-akureondo-photos/

In The year 2003 is known as the breakthrough year for
Nigerian hip-hop, because it never gained audience until
2face Idibia released is first solo track titled “African
Queen” in that year. The song got many nominations and
won some of the awards. In fact, it was used as
soundtrack for a Hollywood movie titled PHAT GIRLZ,
which was released Internationally in 2006. He released
his first solo album titled “FACE TO FACE” in the year
2004 under the KENNIS MUSIC RECORD LABEL and it had
the highest sales for the first time in the history of
Nigerian Hip-Hop as 2 million copies were sold in Nigeria
and around the world. 2face now 2baba is known for
great lyrics.
Six years after, Nigerian Hip-Hop changed from what it
used to be to another different face, when new artistes like
Terry G came to the limelight. Terry G released a track
titled “Free Madness” which got critised by many music
lovers across the country due to the lyrical content of the
song. Although, this didn’t stop the progress of the artiste
but it reduced the quality of Nigerian music a little.
Nigerian Hip-Hop collapsed partially in the year 2012 when
new artistes like late Damoche and Skaley Mental came to
the limelight. They released tracks like “Damoche” and
“Dadubule” respectively and both songs became famous.
The tracks were also critised by many and loved by the
rest due to the lyrical content. The lyrics talked about
female sexual organs and more.
In the year 2014, things got worse and screaming sexual
organs names became the order of the day. And in the
year 2015 the Nigerian Hip-Hop industry reduced in quality
to the extent that, Ghanian Hip-Hop is now placed above
Nigerian Hip-Hop music. In the Just concluded BET
Awards, Nigerian nominated artistes lost to Ghanian
artistes.
The big question now is, will Nigerian HipHop survive till
2016 ?

The Federal government has received a 2.1 billion credit facility from World Bank which will be used to rebuild the troubled North East zone in Nigeria. This was announced in a statement released by the Special Adviser to President Buhari on Media and Publicity, Femi Adesina, The statement below.
The World Bank has unfolded a package which would see it spending up to $2.1 billion in rebuilding the badly devastated North-eastern part of Nigeria, ravaged for the past six years by the Boko Haram insurgency.


At a meeting in Washington today with representatives of the World Bank, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, and the World Health Organization (WHO), President Buhari said apart from rebuilding the region in terms of infrastructure, priority must also be given to the resettlement of internally displaced persons (IDPs), who now number over one million.

He urged the World Bank to send a team, which would work in concert with a team from the Federal Government, so that a proper assessment of needs could be done.
The World Bank will spend the 2.1 billion dollars through its IDA (International Development Agency), which gives low interest rates loans to government. The first 10 years will be interest free, while an additional 30 years will be at lower than capital market rate.

The World Bank is eager to move in quickly, give out the loans, and give succour to the people of North-east, long at the mercy of an insurgency that has claimed over 20,000 souls.
WHO is also to invest 300 million dollars on immunization against malaria in Nigeria, while the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation will collaborate with Dangote Foundation to ensure that the country maintains its zero polio case record of the past one year. If the effort is sustained for another two years, Nigeria will be declared fully free of polio.

FEMI ADESINA
SPECIAL ADVISER, MEDIA AND PUBLICITY
JULY 21, 2015

http://gist.mp3bullet.com/2015/07/22/fg-receives-2-1bn-credit-from-world-bank-to-rebuild-north-east-nigeria/

[img]http://1.bp..com/-qBxV3SvRRdA/Va0CPdu7v8I/AAAAAAAB4hU/w-toyKNo1ug/s1600/e111.png[/img]
Kcee’s brother and Five-Star Music CEO, E-Money yesterday celebrated his wife’s birthday at their Lagos home. The party had a lot of celebrities in attendance and as usual money flowed ceaselessly. Continue below to see more photos from the celebration.
[img]http://2.bp..com/-OMueYLYpYBU/Vaz96IjjJHI/AAAAAAAB4f0/ViDyDAYs9vA/s1600/EM1.png[/img]
[img]http://4.bp..com/-xSY7JR_tbgA/Vaz97ci0aeI/AAAAAAAB4f8/Wgx_WMrvF14/s1600/EM.png[/img]
[img]http://3.bp..com/-rsqviGM73Mo/Vaz-ISQLNZI/AAAAAAAB4gE/38PFkZEufKQ/s1600/EM2.jpg[/img]
[img]http://3.bp..com/-pDv_zTYBwMM/Vaz-J6zBoYI/AAAAAAAB4gM/g6efftIzRpw/s1600/EM3.jpg[/img]
[img]http://1.bp..com/-g6_5IpyAq08/Vaz-MqvE-XI/AAAAAAAB4gU/pEXSxZt43sw/s1600/EM4.jpg[/img]
[img]http://3.bp..com/-8P5WGeaDjMg/Vaz-QlW4p0I/AAAAAAAB4gc/JbACXoT_7Tc/s1600/EM5.jpg[/img]
[img]http://1.bp..com/-qrX9d_9a534/Vaz-lBhWOII/AAAAAAAB4g8/Jv6Q7Lz-3Po/s1600/EM8.jpg[/img]
[img]http://2.bp..com/-tf5i4yc87lc/Vaz_7uBDw7I/AAAAAAAB4hI/jVbSBp5YLmE/s1600/E11.png[/img]

http://gist.mp3bullet.com/2015/07/20/photos-e-money-celebrates-wifes-birthday/

after NBC said in a statement yesterday that SSS have arrested engineers of Biafra Radio and seized their transmitters, the radio operators have fired back saying it is not true and they are still very much operating. They denied the news that any of their engineers were arrested by SSS men and said instead they are broadcasting strongly.

On its official website and via its Twitter account, the management of the radio outfit said;

“We want to categorically report to great and hardcore ‪‎Biafrans that the news going around the media that our engineer was arrested by DSS is false.

“All our engineers are intact. We urge you to remain formidable and disciplined, the battle is heavy and we are winning already. We are live in Biafraland. Call on Chukwu Okike Abiama to help us all and our leader Nnamdi Kanu.

“We are unstoppable. We are formidable. We Biafrans we have superior technology. All that money is wasted,” it said.

http://www.ladunliadinews.com/2015/07/radio-biafra-fires-at-nbc-again-says.html?m=1

I've been on facebook quite a while now... At least, And i have observed a lot.. So i decided to pen something down.



Below are 10 kinds of people you may have in your facebook friends list:

1. The Likers: This category of people like every of your updates.Even if you update how armed robbers came to your house.. They will LIKE. Some of them won’t even bother if the post is rubbish. Sometimes these category of friends dont even bother reading your post yet they'll click the like button. They are just too addicted to the LIKE button.



2. The Comments Readers: This category of people arent concerned about what you post.. The moment they sight "2,3,5 comments" on your post, they come in.



3. The Ghost Readers: This kind of people are very active on your wall but you wont know. They make sure that they read all your posts. In fact, some will visit your wall to read your old posts. Their major concern is to read your posts and leave your wall. These kind people Occupy Some percentage in your facebook friends. You’ll think they’re not active on your wall but they follow you like say na twitter.

4. The Share lords: These are the people who will make sure that they click share button after reading your posts.Some of these people may not like or comment on your posts but they’ll share it to their wall, groups or friend’s wall. This kind of people are very few in your friends list.

5. Errors Pickers: *sigh* This category of people na him i fear pass.. They won't stop looking for errors or faults in your posts. They won't comment on your posts untill they see grammatical errors or faults in your post. Most of these people will correct your errors publicly. Although, it’s not bad to correct friend’s errors but these people won’t comment except they see errors in your posts.



6. The Chatmania: This category of people respond to stimuli i.e the green light that notifies you are online.. Immediately they spot that green light, they bombard you with messages.



7.The Flirt Ones: This Category consist mostly of guys. They just cant hold their peice when they see girls. They will like,comment, Aak questions, Send you message.. Even some dont care if you are a guy.. Once they spot a female picture in your album, they star a relationship chat.



8.The Blogreaders: This category dont stay long on fb.. They go all round to read blogs and share on facebook..

9.. The Ghost Friends: These are the inactive ones on your list. Most of this people just joined fb because of the popularity and the way people talk about it. They know nothing about fb except the day a friend opens an account for them and sends in friends request.. After that, they gone for life..



Add no 10 yourselves..

WRITTEN BY LAWAL OLADIMEJI

Chai

Chai

Chai

Chai

In Every successful relationship, there are always sacrifices been made.

No matter how tight your schedule might be. If you decide to withdraw these couple of things from your Spouse.. Oh!, Am sorry for you. Your relationship is on a long long thing.

You might be ignorant of most of these but to help you get better, Check them out Below;



You Owe Your Spouse Love:

Yes, everyone knows this becuse this is most likely the ultimate of any successful relationship. But not everyone practice it to its peak. If you ntruly love your spouse, then you wont hesitate to give him/her what they really need.

Oh! And i've also seen some married couples lock every gadget lockable against their spouse,lol . Of course that raises a lot of suspicion.



You Owe Your Spouse Your Body:



Even The Holy Quran And The Holy Bible equally portray that you dedicate your whole body to your spouse. As a matter of fact, denying your spouse s*x is the ultimate mistake you'll ever make as a couple expecting a life happily ever after. And before i forget. How promiscuous are you?, Because if you really owe your spouse that bo0dy of yours.Then you must take permission before you withdraw your body to another man or woman. Lol. Thats fact o



You Owe Your Spouse Time;

So your office has used you so much that you leave home very early and come back late at night. Infact, you hardly eat at home as the husband or cook for your husband as the wife because you have no time. Its all about the money.

Lol. Your Relationship is at the other side of the river.

You Owe Your Spouse Support;

Regardless of whatever he/she is doing. Your support is always required. Stanfing firm beside your spouse every step of the way, cheering victories and comfort during your defeats works a lot.



You owe your spouse trust;

Without trust, there is no foundation for love or respect. Tracking your spouse anonymously wont help your relationship. Ow! And why do you leave your vehicle outside your compound and sneak into the house. Hehehe.. . Issokay..



Add No6. Yourselves

Written by LAWAL OLADIMEJI DIMLAW

I wont say anything though..All i know is, the actress is now speaking about the rumors and let’s just say that Tontolet is far from pleased.
See her response to the gossip after the jump:

https://instagram.com/p/5KLXlGr4YD/

LAWAL OLADIMEJI

1. We are too busy with our work to think
about other girls in the world! So don’t worry,
We wont cheat you.

2. We are aware about every Important event
on the calendar, from valentine’s day to
chocolate day to # love – your-gf-more-day

3. We are entrepreneurs, We love to stand on
our own and not under some Fat-Bottom !

4. We don’t have fixed timings, so going out at
busy office hours wouldn’t be a problem.

5. We earn alot! So you won’t have any worries
about your future

6. We are clever and intelligent, you will not
have to listen Bull-poo as We know what they
are talking !

7. We are very creative and innovative in our
work, so you’ll have many surprises to look
forward to!

8. In case of any misunderstandings and fights,
your friends will come directly into the picture,
as they know how to get genuine backlinks.

9. You don’t need to wear good clothes and have
facials done every week, We don’t really care
about your materialistic looks, as far as We
sure you love you.

10. If you won’t find Us or We go missing,
don’t worry about complaining to police, We will
Probably be in the nearest
Internet cafe!

11. We will gift you things or gift which you can
show off to the world. How about the Latest
Iphone 6? This is rather good compared to gifts
you hide like Sexy Looking “Undies”.

12. We have a lot of Brand Value in the
Blogosphere, at some point you’ll feel like a
Celeb Gf or Wife!

13. You need not worry about job, Apart from
your personal job, Its fun working together(blogging).

14. You can fight a lot with Us, as We have a
lot of Patience. Since we dont worry waiting for a website to rank and
get traffic !

15. We make sure that there won’t be any kind
of penalty on your relationship, as We are
aware of all
the algorithms leading to penalty.

16. We have a different kind of romantic sense,
but don’t worry We are obviously very # good-
In- bed !

Written by Lawal Oladimeji

Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, Nigeria’s former Finance Minister, has stated that Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo state is suffering numerical diarrhea after he alleged that she took $1billion to fund the re-election bid of former president Goodluck Jonathan.

In statement issued by Paul C Nwabuikwu, media adviser Okonjo-Iweala, he described Oshiomhole’s accusations as “another false, baseless allegation against Okonjo-Iweala by Oshiomhole.

“The allegation by Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State that former Minister of Finance Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala spent $1 billion out of the Excess Crude Account to fund the re-election bid of former President Jonathan is the kind of ludicrously false statement that has unfortunately become a trademark of the Governor in his public campaign of falsehood against Dr Okonjo-Iweala,” the statement said.

“The statement is just another example of the numerical diarrhea that seems to have afflicted His Excellency in recent times in his effort to damage the reputation of the former Minister.

“He has, within the last few months, asked Dr Okonjo-Iweala to explain all kinds of totally wild and unsubstantiated figures, ranging from $30 billion, $20 billion, $2.1 billion, N720 billion and now $1 billion.”

Okonjo-Iweala then stated that Oshiomhole’s accusations totally lack any credibility. ” Governor Oshiomhole’s published comments also contain other falsehoods. For instance, he quoted Dr Okonjo-Iweala as saying that she and the Finance Commissioners of the 36 states approved the spending of $2.1 billion out of the Excess Crude Account, adding that the Commissioners had disowned the statement. This is also a complete distortion.

“Dr Okonjo-Iweala never said the Federation Accounts Allocation Committee (FAAC) approved spending out of the ECA. Rather as the Commissioners themselves stated, the former Minister of State Finance informed them that former President Jonathan approved the expenditure to end the debilitating fuel queues across the country.

“As Nigerians know, the Finance Ministry under Okonjo-Iweala regularly published details of revenue allocations from the ECA in national media. So Oshiomhole’s tortured “calculations” based on his “four figure tables” are mere political numbers conjured to achieve a political purpose. Nigerians can see through the elaborate antics.

“Governor Oshiomhole’s latest statement, like earlier ones, labours to give the impression that the entire FAAC process which involves the Federal Government and the 36 states of the Federation is a personal monopoly of Dr Okonjo-Iweala.

“This is, of course not true. FAAC is a long standing national platform for allocating revenues chaired by the Minister of State Finance. The governor’s insistence on pushing this clearly fictional narrative underscores his desperation.

“It is instructive that Governor Oshiomhole is a key member of the committee set up by the National Economic Council to investigate the ECA spending. His continuing attacks against Dr Okonjo-Iweala seem to suggest that he has lost confidence in this platform which he deployed to make some of his initial false and baseless allegations. The Governor does not seem to appreciate that he is undermining the very credibility of the committee.

“Once again, we ask: why are Oshiomhole and his cohorts so ready to sacrifice truth, precedent and decency in this political witch hunt against Dr Okonjo-Iweala? We are confident that they will fail because truth will triumph,” the statement read.

http://www.pmnewsnigeria.com/2015/07/13/oshiomhole-suffering-from-numerical-diarrhea-says-okonjo-iweala/

Davido has responded to reports the NDLEA are trying to investigate his ''Fans Mi ''video with Meek Mill.Yesterday it was reported the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency through the Director of Public Affairs , Mitchell Ofoyeju told Punch they are conducting a full-scale investigation into the making of the video and an investigative panel might invite Davido for questioning.


A fan asked Davido to clarify and her simply said 'Nothing''..
Talk about confidence..
Read what Mr Mitchell told Punch below

“I am aware that a panel is working on it (the video). The panel was set up soon after the video was released few weeks ago. When our attention was drawn to it, we viewed it and we discovered that it was improper. There is no moral lesson in it and he was just advertising drug trafficking.
"In the video, he exchanged a brief case supposedly containing narcotics for dollars. He was displaying affluence in the video. If it (the plot) had climaxed in an arrest and possible detention, we would have congratulated him for partnering with us. But the way he portrayed drug trafficking in the video was a means to an end, which the end is a life of affluence which we disagree with.” he said.
“We are looking at the issue holistically. We believe that there should be a body that was supposed to censor videos before they go out. Those are the things we want to investigate and verify. Was the video submitted for approval? If it was submitted, why was it approved, with such content?” he concluded

khel:
You should contact their CS na

I called them but they didnt pick.. Wasted N500 recharge card today on their lame CS

Dear Nlanders. I just Got my 20000mAh powerbank deleicered to me by jumia today.. I charged it for 7hours and later tried to test it on my mobile phone..

My phone uses a 4000mAh battery.. Could you believe this powerbank charged my phone from 3% to 52% and it went off..

Please help, should i return the powerbank to jumia because i expected it to fully charge my phone at least thrice before going off