₦airaland Forum

jerrynelson: Ok! thanks.....at least first time I ever get a response. I appreciate that!!!

ur previous post wasnt caused by wat u said. There probably was no ansa to d

Olastep1: hahahahahaha..... U gat me bursting into laughter:-D. I login 2 discovered this thread is now a Poo Distribution Company!!!

...only to 4get dat ur poo is still hanging around somewhere, yet to be flushed

while the air is cleared a bit, i tot some people who adore knowledge would love dis.
Just tryina cool some snapping nerves
A FIVE MINUTES CRASH COURSE IN MANAGEMENT

LESSON:1A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.' Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity. Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch..' Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.. Lesson 4 An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up. Lesson 5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy..' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.. Lesson 6 A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut! THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Damex333: Guys pls let all those who re involve just busy d hatchet,we re still waitin 4 some1 2 ur check 4 our names and thinking if we come here we re goin 2 fine something that can help us instead we find out that here is even more heated than steam pls just lets embrace peace.

nope! Heres not heated dan steam. Wonder if u've seen hell before.

With d best of my knowledge and belief, heres d closest place to oau. Just chillax and be patient. I think d air has been cleared a bit.
U can now breath fully. If u dont mind

i dint come here to make 'us' lose focus on our priority 1.
U and i knw what our priority 1 is. If u fall off d clif in d process, ure on ur own.

I came here to add n not to substract.
But some fellas here are not seeing tins d way i see dem.
Some of u guys remind me of the pharisees. They are quick to blast without even knowing wat is happening. Suprisingly, even those that just come in & read just few lines end up joining d bandwagon. Y? How can u come dis far & start over reacting. 'dont u know where u are going? Dont u also knw where u are coming from'?
When taersa4 or so snapped, i think there was a lot of pains in a whole lot of places for many of u. I'vnt come to mimick him. I've come with my own diff kind of style. U either take it or u leave it. I aint begging anyone to comment. Life is a choice, applying for ife was a choice and so as dis thread is a choice also.
If u hav infos to give out, by all means, y not do it.
Am not d only one who has put jokes here. Every1 shud just cool down, take some alomo bitters and relax.
Stop trying to hurt yourself for no just cause.

Lobatan

i bet if we all knew ourselves, some of u guys might want to throw some fist.

TOSIN ACCA: Do you love GOD?Do you really care about being on good terms with him?If your answers are 'yes', then you sure must read this: "If any one says, ''I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who doesn't love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God should love his brother." An honest evaluation of one's self is useful for character development.WE LOVE U. Do you love GOD?Do you really care about being on good terms with him?If your answers are 'yes', then you sure must read this: "If any one says, ''I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who doesn't love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God should love his brother." An honest evaluation of one's self is useful for character development.WE LOVE U.

am sorry but what u just preached doesnt register.
They are d ones hating, not me

Olastep1: Nobody is not trying 2 castigate u or abuse u... Nay!. Its just that u ought 2 know what u post here. Thank God, we'r all admitted. But come 2 think of those who arent admitted yet n coming 2 find some clues on what 2 do here. We shouldnt be sarcastic abt others feelings. Pls and pls dont misinterprete me. Pls, i advice we shud jst allow infos 2 continue. Forget all what has happened...o.k. I'm sorry if my post has affected u negatively, i'm deeply sorry. Thats d spirit of brotherhood. ONE LOVE @hausa. Thank you

if u are lets say a catholic, ders dis round thing right above the head of all saints. U can also find it in dat of Jesus. Its called 'halo'. Dats exactly wat just popped up right above ur head.
One minute ure insulting, next ure saying one love.
I tot d last set of pple like dis were d pharisees. Dint know they still exist

Sir mikky: I'm convinced this Hausa of a guy is FAULTY

dats y am here. If i think i wasnt faulty, i doubt i wud be here.
I'll just be emmmm, taking cognac with d cubans

Olastep1: @Hausa.
Are you drunk again?
Pls nobody should accuse me of being tribalist. I wont blame u Hausa, its OAU's fault. And some other universities. Had it been this policy called "Educationally Disadvantaged States" was scrapped, then we are not sure where u'l be by now.
Nobody is perfect here. We'v stepped on each other toes all along. Why is urs different since last week u jst registered here? Thank ur stars dat some of d stalites lyk Teaser01, Endymion n odas are busy writing exams, u'v hug transformer.
No offence intended!
Just remain ur humble self!... O.k.

*cough *cough
last time i ehhh checked, u said u werent gonna talk again. Now uve talked, now u've snapped. I wont say anything cos i call wat u just said a delusion of the highest order. It shows how far u can overreact when stretched to not even d limit.
Being deluded aint a gud thing.
Smh

Olastep1: @Hausa.
Read my lips... No one wil reply u again!!!

ANSWER NOT A F**L LEST YOU BECOME LIKE HIM- Proverb

mr. Ola...., d bible says dont worry bout things like dis. Ure just worrying urself for nothing. Be a man. There are more obstacles waiting for us @ ife, not dis.
Remember how we wished to score ova 200 in jamb? Odas dint hit, we did & moved to d next level, i.e postume. odas dint reach 200, n we did, now we're here. And all of a sudden u wanna tell me dat my post here is more difficult to handle dan d rigors of writing jamb n postume? I dont think so. Am not d one pushing it, rada u are.

Sleep well

and....cant even rememba wen last i called sm1 a fool in real life, talk more of in text.

Smh

Olastep1: lolzzzzzz. I dnt knw wat came over me jare..... Sowie everyone..... And @Hausa..... I'm not saying u should not post..... But lets think thrice b4 posting.... U know, so many here av not know their fate yet.... Just take it cool.... We'r all brothers and sisters from different mothers.... I cant wait 2 see u guys in Ife....
ONE LOVE#

if meeting me was like an interview to heaven, am afraid u just dint pass it with flying colours

Adex097: "....Though i,ve been following dis thread for over 7 months if am not mistaken as an invisible person but i neva logged in here so am deciding to do it now so we can get along. ....." This was part of what HAUSA said wen he joined this peaceful thread• Well ℓ̊ fink its better U̶̲̥̅̊ remain invisible #GHOSTMODE rather than being a nuisance here. No offence plz its just an advice...happy sunday guys

good to know u've been following up. Keep up d gud work. U'll neva knw wat u'll learn from it

Sir mikky: If you don't know what to say... SHUT UP!!! Whoever has knowledge controls his words, but a stupid man always advertises his ignorance.

at u sir, u just 'snapped'.........for no just reason

[quote author=BINTI_LAYE101]Be More Concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you Really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are. #@hausa#[/quote]i wasnt gonna be sure. Were u actually referring to balotelli?

RUTHsmart: hausa u nid help!!!

common fella. We need help. Thats exactly y i think we're all here. If not, wat are u doing on dis thread? Render help? I dont think so.

Olastep1: @Hausa


can u pls tel me ur problem. Is it a must u post ur insanity here?
I av been following ur posts and discover u dnt realy av anytin 2 offer except jokes and pride!. Who are u by d way? hey guy, none is kid here... grow up! I come here almost every hour n go back. I'v posted alot of infos n others appreciate it. Why are u now hitting everyone here?
MUST YOU POST??!

mind you, dont quote me wit ur stupidity or else.....

i take my leave...

ONE LOVE#

who am i? Just dat guy dat has gat 2balls like u.
Did i hear u say or else. Or else wat? I double dare u.

I tink d major problem am noticing here is dat some pips are overreacting for no just cause.

Common!!! dont push it & stop building unnecessary castles in d air. Dats If u dont mind

dewoyin: Hmmm...thought so too

yea, me tot u were d joke rada

TOSIN ACCA: we all must have LOVE,COURTESY,POLITENESS AND DISCRETION AS OUR PRINCIPLES FOR INTERACTION WITH OTHERS ELSE WE SHALL INEVITABLY FAIL TO HAVE ANY CORDIAL and SUSTAINABLE HUMAN RELATION.Come to think of it,we haven't seen one another face to face.For GOD'S SAKE, LOVE YOUR NEIGBOURS AS YOURSELF AND DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM TO DO TO YOU.LOVE YOU ALL. we all must have LOVE,COURTESY,POLITENESS AND DISCRETION AS OUR PRINCIPLES FOR INTERACTION WITH OTHERS ELSE WE SHALL INEVITABLY FAIL TO HAVE ANY CORDIAL and SUSTAINABLE HUMAN RELATION.Come to think of it,we haven't seen one another face to face.For GOD'S SAKE, LOVE YOUR NEIGBOURS AS YOURSELF AND DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD WANT THEM TO DO TO YOU.LOVE YOU ALL.

aaaaaaaw look @ dat halo. Its just popped up right above ur head

dewoyin: Is this "hausa" guy 4 real....ar u sure u literate?

no. I think hes some sort of joke. Guru

RUTHsmart: is this the right thread for keeping us updated with that sort of news?actually u'r very silly and dumb enough not to accept your shortcomings...i'd appreciate the good minds n excellent brains on this thread cos of their commited posts and updates...yours is totally irrelevant...try adding more value!!!!

here u go. I told smone not to be silly, nw ure aggravating things by saying am silly n am dumb eh? Dats a gud one miss. D truth is u cant even do half of wat dey re doing on dis thread to d people of 2013/2014 set. It'll all be am writing exams or d dept is too far n i cant walk bla bla. All work n no play makes u n jack d dumbest pple. Be careful

Another Akpors Joke Again to Brighten up your
evening!!!
Akpos interview PART II
OFFICER:- what is your name?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- Tell me properly! AKPORS:- Michael Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your father's name?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
AKPORS:- Moses Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your native place? AKPORS: M.P sir
OFFICER:- is it Makurdi Purum?
AKPORS:- No, Minna Port sir
OFFICER:- what is your qualification?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- (angry) what is it?! AKPORS:- Metric Pass
OFFICER:- so why do you need a job?
AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
AKPORS:- Money Problem sir
OFFICER:- what is your personality? AKPORS:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- would you explain urself and stop
wasting my
time?
AKPORS:- Monacrotic Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you. AKPORS:- sir, how's my M.P?
OFFICER:- and what's that again?
AKPORS:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- M.P !
AKPORS:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!! Good evening!!

idbami2: And he's a stdnt of oau? Aigoo.. Such an irrelevant post fr this threadd..

did i say hes from oau? And how is dat irrelevant? Only trying to keep unupdated fellas informed bout tins goin on in our beloved country

Dont be silly

Lillz19: pls hw real s dis info...

sorry but which one be stallites??

Olugbenger: pls are u guyz serious about dis resumption date because presently i'm not reading o...i was expecting atleast april or farther than that

farther than that? Dont be a joke

jayjam: Me?local dude,well dats nothng to me 'chap'.HEY is an american recriminative/swearing/unintellectual word.Av stopped putting my mouth here Mallam.We ar brodas,united we stand.Love u

its not a swearing word...oh common!! Wat d hell

Olastep1: @Hausa and jayjam.

STOP!!! NOW!!!

wat authority

BAD NEWS:
boko haram suspect caught. And hes an indigene of osun state

jayjam: Same as u saying "HEY" to me,insultive pls Mallam

such a local dude...smh

Austinobisnr: nawa 4u ooo, jst bcus u wana type '9c 1' u av2 quote a coment 3times

ure not sure he undastood d concept

jayjam: STOP DERAILING THIS THREAD,REMEMBER WE STILL HAVE LOT TO BE INFORMED.Imagine an Asslicker quoting a post 3times

hey dont call smone an asslicker. He probably dint understand wat to do.

Poor guy. A man escapes from
prison where he has been for
15
years. He breaks into a house to
look for money and
guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed
and ties him to a chair,
while tying the girl to the bed he
gets on top of her,
kisses her neck, then gets up and
goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the
husband tells his
wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped
convict, look at his
clothes! He probably spent lots of
time in jail and hasn't
seen a woman in years. I saw how
he kissed your
neck."
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how
much
he nauseates you. This guy is
probably very
dangerous.
If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love
you." To which his wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my
neck.
He was whispering in my ear. He
told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked
me if we had any
vaseline. I told him it was in the
bathroom. Be strong
honey. I love you too!!"

TOSIN ACCA: I don't know if OAU accepts NABTEB but as regards subject combination for accounting,this is the generally acceptable combination:MATH,ENGLISH,ECONOMICS AND GOVERMENT.Please avoid offering commerce because Oau won't admit you even if you pass the cut-off mark.I'm a living testimony:2011 admission stat: (280+296)/2=288 while the cut-off mark was 261 yet I wasn't offered admission.So make diligent enquiries and make informed decisions that will not affect your admission chances.GREAT ACCOUNTANTS...GREAT! I don't know if OAU accepts NABTEB but as regards subject combination for accounting,this is the generally acceptable combination:MATH,ENGLISH,ECONOMICS AND GOVERMENT.Please avoid offering commerce because Oau won't admit you even if you pass the cut-off mark.I'm a living testimony:2011 admission stat: (280+296)/2=288 while the cut-off mark was 261 yet I wasn't offered admission.So make diligent enquiries and make informed decisions that will not affect your admission chances.GREAT ACCOUNTANTS...GREAT!

u werent offered admission? OMG!! With dat kind of result?
wat did u now do?