₦airaland Forum

Princeofnigeria:
hahaha I'm so happy it happened to you, afonja sla**s

First time a tribal slur is directed at me online, and it comes from you - my brother, separated only by our States of origin. It hurts but I wear a bandage on it, and move on. I'm paying the price for not telling you "I love you" when I should have.

There was this one I met through Nairaland.

When we finally met at Àgùdà, he was so nice, smooth and sleek; took me to eatery fah and flipped the bill. I was so sure he was the real deal.

I couldn't have foreseen that he was fattening me for the slaughterhouse.

When my guy was done with me, I cursed the person that invented the internet.

The probability of making the cut through this means is rather too low.

Same reason it is mathematically unwise to pursue a career in entertainment.

For every Davido on stage, there are hundreds of young boys backstage begging organiser for a 30 second appearance.

I saw the backstage horror, first hand, at Amphitheatre, OAU, Ifẹ̀. Horrific stinks from mixed human body sweats, yet the stage light was on Lord of Ajasa. The shouts of excitement in the main bowl completely drowned the harrowing tumult going on backstage.

deco22:
Though SARS was wrong in harassing him, but he looks like a criminal

Criminals don't have a look, dear friend.

Else, Kunle Afolayan, before his morning shower, would qualify as one.

Nbote:
How exactly was he picking up trash by standing a fallen billboard

When I said "You get the drift," I assumed you did. I wasn't right.

Now to be explicit - hopefully, a fallen billboard is inherently hazardous; could cause accidents to pedestarians and motorists alike. A citizen averted the potential danger, took pictures while so doing. That, my friend, is in the class of trash picking.

You get the drift now, I bet.

Nbote:
He saw d billboard and decided to video himself lifting it up? Anything for attwntuon

Come to think of it, if everyone of us decides to stop to take pictures whilst picking up trash, clearing bushy paths, standing patiently in line for our turns (you get the drift), guess what, we would have a cleaner, saner Nigeria, at the expense of a full phone memory. Good trade off, if you ask me.

The bad girl terminates 17 pregnancies, yet gets married on her terms and ends up with a triplet and a twin. She stops child bearing. On her terms.

The good girl doesn't know the location of her own private part, gets married after her 34th Shiloh; back to back. Husband can't make babies. Divorce is not in her book.

Amazing Grace!

One event in the life of one of these boys could just mark that turning point; loss of a mother or even (God spare his soul) the death of amala coordinator.

My belief is that one is still in his formative years, no matter how old, as long as he hasn't come to the realization of his purpose on earth. These ones haven't. The universe is merciful, she could endlessly extend to them, that amazing grace.

Wagasigiungu:
Happy for you sir. This is the sort of orientation and motivation parents should work hard to instill in their kids. We should always strive to better our lots.

P. S. A Score = 20, two scores = 40
Did u mean to say 2 decades and 4 yrs which puts it a 24 yrs when u left badia

One score, that is. Conflict between my words and my math.

AutoReportNG:
Pray not to raise a child in this type of environment. Most children here have a different view about life entirely.

"Pray not to..."? Not that simple.

My parents did "pray" not to raise me there but raise me there, they did.

They, however, told me I didn't belong there, that I was only on transit through Badia - one that would last one score and 4 years; the period of which bàbá mi and màámi put one brick on another every other week until they made me and themselves a house in a place they "prayed" to raise me.

Goes without saying, I haven't lit a cigarette in my 30+ years, 24 of which was spent living in Badia.

The narratives have to change.

We've all got these biases. We've thought it in our hearts. Sometimes, careless enough to let it out through our mouths and our deeds.

It's just a rather too sensitive place our world's become.

Would you continue to serve non-prepaying Yorubas in your restaurants if 20-30% of his kind bail after dining every day?

And this, sure wouldn't be about you being his brother or not. First instinct is the survival of your business viz-a-viz your wife, daughters and/or sons.

No business, in today's world, I believe sets out to be deliberately racially discriminatory; so much as to push the agenda through their staff training.

I live, not in Nigeria and I have been racially discriminated against. Yes. But not more than I have been ethnically profiled back home. And no less than I have, subconsciously, racially and ethnically profiled persons too; and acted favourably or otherwise based on my bias.

What I have learned therefore is to relish the moment if I find myself a victim today (so long there is no threat to my life). The table turns rather too often.

And if for some reasons my villain and I would have to endure a medium to long term relationship (like co-workers), what I do is work on myself, my attutudes, et al to earn his trust. The humanity in him will prevail.

The poorer you are, the more biting your hunger to make more enemies. Everyone would fit into the description of the man who made you poor.

The affluent think otherwise. They seek being made The Enyioma-1 of Ikeduru, Aboki na Mutane, Òrée gbogbo Ará Ìlá-Òrangún. All of those at the same time.

Wait a minute.

Where is Kanu Nnamdi?

If he was escaping to Cameroon by leg, he should be there already, shouldn't he?

And should have got data to upload something online, at least.

I suspect that lad was whisked away by the soldiers.

You can't effectively fight a government from outside.

Straight to death they lead you.

Some mocking noise they make from the background.

As the hangman throws the rope around your neck.

"You can't tighten the rope more than that. You can't. I call your bluff." They continue the mockery.

"I bet you can't pull the rope. We shall revolt."

"Just pull one last time, and you shall know who owns this land."

You breathe your last. Tongue out, eyes popping.


"He was a great man. None like him."

They walk away looking to go recruit the next lamb.

okirewaju:
So when he gave it to you after adding one more note you did not count it again right?

Who would? Third counting (abi na fourth sef). Haba.

Okay, I'm over the shock. I can share now. Read and learn.

I had $200, wanted to change to Naira. I stopped at Opebi and straight towards Alade market. I asked the first guy I met on the road what the his exchange rate was. He said it was N363. Of course, he was right, but I wanted more... GREED.

I walked up to the next with whom I was able to bargain N365. Yeaaaah... good bargainer I am.

He punched his calculator, my $200 would change for N73,000. Called his colleague to give me N73,000. He had a bunch of N1000 notes. He simply removed a few notes and handed the rest to me.

Of course, I had to count, I did. And it was 72 notes (N72,000). I told him it was less one. He took the money from me, recounted, and I made a mental count along.

Yes, it was 72. He apologized and added one more note. My N73,000 was complete. Tucked the money into the deepest of deeps in my bag. And off my way I went.

All was well until Day 2 when I had reasons to count my money again. Alas, N30,000 didn't make it into my bag. I have been scammed.

It was no juju, jazz, charm or whatever you might want to think. These guys know and have mastered the 10,000 hours rule. Time and practice have made them perfect at the trade. It happened at the point of him recounting.

You would lose your gold if you let greed becloud your judgement. I did. I knew N363 was the going rate before I left home. But I sought for too much rent on my gold than is reasonable.

Now, I am N30,000 wiser.

nkemdi89:
Folurunsho alakija started as a fashion designer.

But who didn't become a Billionaire while fashion designing. Got wind of marginal oilfields put on sale to Nigerians, she put her sewing machines on olx immediately.

luminouz:
N u the janitor who cleans the toilets d two will use!!!!

Proudly so my brother.

What is it with Billionaire Otedola breeding entertainers and fashionists.

I had always thought the wealthy strategically pick professions for their kids.

With the big picture of taking over and expanding the business in view.

Well, his ways are not my ways and his thoughts not mine...

DJ Cuppy could well be positioned to be the lead Disk Joker at the Annual Forte Oil Stakeholders' Meeting.

And Fashonisist Temi as the chief seamstress for the executive managing director of Swift Insurance.

Sounds more like:

"In my heart of heart, I don't want to apologize, but you are taking this sh*t too far and it's affecting my business. So just take this sorry, get lost, and don't forget to drop my keys"

Sincere apologies don't start with "For peace to reign." But for our women, anything to make them appear the winner is good.

Look at this:


"The events of the last couple of weeks between my wife and me have taken me to the lowest of lows. I have made mistakes, and unfortunately, the victim of my mistakes is this innocent lovely woman. I am not proud of my actions....

"I just hope this woman gives it a thought to consider me fit of her love again. While she is at it, I will be visiting therapists...."

Not globally correct.

CVs are overrated in Nigeria.

An employer once told me not to send him a CV. He rather wanted a list of what I could help his new factory achieve in three, six and 12 months.

"There is no catchy adjectives I have not read in a CV." He said. "Adjectives don't get the job done!"

What we should be teaching job seekers to do is seek opportunities to meet and discuss with their would-be boss. Figure out what problems they could have solved for the boss. And write a "pain"* letter accordingly to the boss.


* Liz Ryan's term for purposeful cover letter. Follow Liz Ryan on Twitter @humanworkplace. You'd be glad you did. She writes for Forbes and LinkedIn.

By the way, that employer who I referred to up there is not a Nigerian.

TheLordIsGr8:
But a poster says NO to Baba Sikira. Says they are artisans and tinkerers who don't know what they are doing.

It doesn't matter what he - "a poster" - said. He is just a poster. Isn't he?

Power goes out on UNILAG campus for an extended period, the school management, being wise folks, boycott Professor Amire (not real name) and his cohorts of heavily bearded colleagues at the Department of Electrical Engineering. Instead, they ask for solutions from the maintenance department headed by a City & Guild's Certificate Holder.

How wonderful.

Each member of his team is a "Baba Sikira" after official work hour. He has a small repair shop. He simply holds the UNILAG job as a sure dependable source of income.

Forget the courses. NEBOSH-es, AETI-s, LAGRANGE-s don't get no meaningful problems solved. Get your hands dirty.

The Engineering field is so wide you could never prepare yourself enough with certification from the outside.

Certificates matter only to he who owns them.

Talk to Baba Sikira - that generator repairman - about a six month apprenticeship with him. Under his invaluable tutelage, learn to rip open any household generator, and assemble them back. As a personal project and to validate your learnings, reverse engineer an "I pass my neighbour."

Then apply to Mikano or ABB.

Be wise. On your CV, put your apprenticeship with Baba Sikira before your BSc.

Then see how Mikano will fly your everywhere to get necessary certification. That's how you build a career from a BSc nothing

Solidworks is a 3D parametric design tool. It's not in the class of AutoCAD. I won't be tempted to say Solidworks is more advanced than AutoCAD. They simply are not meant to do the same thing.

That said, I am a Solidworks veteran with tons of years of designing under my belt. One thing Nigerian students and young graduates should look at doing is plan on pursuing a career in design engineering as opposed to core production engineer.

It's a specialized field. No employer can tell you "No" and mean it. If they don't have a space for you now, they would think of the idea of creating one for you.

Moreover, isn't it beautiful that you are skilled enough to design behind your desk, and everything falls in place on the production floor? What more is creation?

Below is a picture of my recent creation. Basic complexity I see it. But I love it. All calculations of loads, pressure, holes and slots came 100% accurate.

If what you plan on doing is fronting your certification at interviews, not the way to go.

Certification should only serve to validate your skills and experience. Not to give you those.

You don't need no certification to prove your advanced MS Excel proficiency.

Sit behind your computer. And read good old books.

Most importantly, get a job. Any.

I'd favour a six month paint industry experience above advanced Matlab, HYSYS, Mathematica, Excel certification, put together.

Mr. Fatai is really working to get his ratings up.

You would notice he's been deliberately getting his name behind major security news lately; even ahead of the Lagos State Police Command.

We only have bad news, there is no bad PR.

The chap might just make it to the position of an IG someday.

Nairaland (and the Nigerian social media space) is building something sinister.

The ethic gulf and hatred brewing amongst us is becoming increasingly worrisome. And this is happening at a rate as fast as every post that makes Nairaland's front page.

We were not like this. No, we were not.

First story of Phillip Emegwali I read as a young adult in the late 90's puffed my shoulders high as a Nigerian. I doubt if any tribe claimed ownership of the computer genius.

Mary Onyali was Nigeria's pride in the 1996 Olympics. Tijani Babangida was Nigeria's right-hand drive okada. Who did care that only one Yoruba man made the Eagles' starting 11 for more than a decade.

See the result of our 1993 Presidential election.

That was us. That is who, inherently, we are.

Ironically, there were less media jingles about "One Nigeria." Now, billions are spent on media campaigns for unity and oneness, yet, we seem to be in a hurry to fulfil our death wish.

Seun, as long as we are still this entity as we have it, kindly enforce more stringent rules against tribal e-wars.

The media, more than anything else, fueled the Rwandan civil war.

We hope to tell good tales of Seun Osewa to our grandchildren.