₦airaland Forum

mohawkchic:
Lmao IBDat,hmm~ i sniff a story,pray tell ,have you been kept awake by some chic's snorin,lol ?

Let's just say i REALLY, REALLY appreciate my sleep (the little i get anyway), even if i have to drive you back to yours in the early hours to get it.

babyosisi:
I don't know about you dear but public embarrassment is something I cannot stand.
Would you pick someone who constantly adjusts his privates in public over a snorer,all things being equal?

Yes - the guy should simply be advised to buy loosend under wear instead of those tight ones that constantly ride upwards.

mohawkchic:
@ IBDat ~I beleive in being equals its a give and take suitation,i can be submisive when the need arises,but i wudnt make my hubbys feel less of a man just because i earn more than him,i'll do my marital duties regardless of how much that paycheck brings in,i guess its all about where you stand with your partner on these issues,if you have the same values then it shudnt matter how the roost is been roosted  

Okay playn 'devils advocate' - if you contribute more financially, goes to work for 9/10 hours a day and still be expected to get home feed the kids and yo husband daily - are u telling me it wouldn't take its toll sooner or later?

babyosisi:
I wuld choose a snorer anyday to one who would pick out his "wedgie" or grab his jewels in public.

LOL - interesting, rather than a goodnight sleep?

Here's another one - how about someone who snores LOUDLY?

babyosisi:
That said,my biggest no no in a man was bad manners.
(I'm married now)
But I just could not stand men that picked their nose,scratched themselves in public or chewed loudly.
I actually left a serious relationship before I met my hubby because the guy embarrassed me constantly in public and I could not stand living that way the rest of my life.
I used to get so embarrassed and felt like disappearing.
_{Lord I hope he's not on nairaland}

LOL - now that i can't argue with!

mohawkchic:
But i am yet to see a true 50/50 relationship as one partner usually contributes more than the other in one aspect or the other.
~I guess in these cases,one partner will have to be makin more money than the other,and somehow i don't suppose there can ever be that direct line cut in the middle!!
~With some men there's always that ego of been the provider and wantin to do just that lilttle bit more, while some women might be comfortable with that,there are also cases where the woman earns more than the man,in all the cases am aware of,this has always been a problem,especially among africans,and honestly,i just don't get it!!!

- Soz just been playing with the new Nairaland toolbar - quite impressive.
Yeah i too have to admit if my partner was earning more than me i would feel a way. Not that the relationship would deteriorate due to this fact but as a man my ego would seriously be dented. So as it goes does that mean that whom ever is the MAIN bread winner in the house controls the roost? Or do u see it as the man being the head of the home - even if the woman earns that much more and financially contributes more?

babyosisi:
There is such a thing as retirement and some would go into it not wanting their kids to take care of them then and the time to save for it is when you're younger and able. ^{I wonder how many have their mortgages paid for?}

You do indeed make a valid point and i totally agree with you. My reason for being so adamant is for the sole reason that i spent some years with my uncle n aunt with their kids. This man was in his mid 40s and drove a volvo (same one for 18yrs), he had paid up his mortgage early as he and my father were in business together and it was very profitable, and his kids were at Uni. The man hardly left any money for his wife and kids at home but yet was out and about socialising and playing the big important man about town. Unfortunately he died a few years later due to a bloodclot complication. He had over 500k in his UK bank account and over 2mill in his Nigeria account - how do you think his kids and wife reacted to this and arranged for his funeral? I'll spare you the sad details - but his tight fistness just gave the wrong people wrong impressions of him and the people that really matter ended up detesting him.

mohawkchic:
~Interestin debate ,am still waitin on your views IBDat @ 50/50 relationship

As per my previous post, i'm all for 50/50 relationships after all this is the 21st century and women are more career minded, empowered and men are more willing to share the decision making and life choices. But i am yet to see a true 50/50 relationship as one partner usually contributes more than the other in one aspect or the other.

@Sweet T - I guess it would really depend on what it is u mean by reliable. African women are suvivors and hence will do what they can to survive or at least be confortable. Fact is Western women are like that too, but their game plan is different and of course not as extreme as African women. For reliability and one to count on, my money will go on an African woman anyday.

babyosisi:
sometimes being a "cheapskate" is a good thing,I'll rather be with a man that has a full bank account and drives a corolla than one that drives a mercedes that's living from paycheck to paycheck.

Aight i hear that. But if the same man was managing a banger because he didn't want to spend his money on a new car, what is the point of having a full bank account if you refuse to spend the money (assuming the morgage was paid for, children's schooling etc and has some change left), it's not like he can take it with him when he dies.

@babyosisi - i take it u agree then.

mohawkchic:
~Hmm IBDat,am down with it,rollin w/it,in this day and age,its a feel good factor knowin the responsiblities are shared,takes the pressure of who rules the roost kind of thing would you like to share yours?

Wut my ROOST? Nah as the saying goes the man is the head of the family.

As i do appreciate the so-called 50/50 relationships, i will say that i am not totally convinced that in practise that is the case as one person (usually the male <financially> - from my perception) is always contributing more than the other.

babyosisi:
[[/b]
This is a good quality for a marriage material if it doesn't invole going without the necessities.
A man who knows how to hold on to the last dollar is a keeper.
May not make a great date but for a marriage relationship,you will never lack.
Those play boys,spraying doillars would leave you bankrupt and on the streets.

Don't deceive yoslf, someone who generally goes through life never reaching 4 their wallet/purse n buying things they wouldn't be caught dead in for others might just carry those same qualities into a marriage. There are men out there that hardly leave anything for their wives and kids, but are seen out with friends on most nghts.

@mohawkchic - wutz yo thoughts on a 50/50 relationship?

DAMN!!!!!!!! The guy hasn't done anything wrong

@Kisson QS 1 - Simply stop wearing yo emotions on yo sleave - take it in, pause, smile - dismiss it - don't dwell on it!
QS 2 - Call him up on it, let him know that u're not his punching bag and for him to direct his frustrations to the relevant party/situation.

soulpatrol:
still, we hate liars, cheaters, and cheapskates!

I can't stand cheapskates either

mohawkchic:
~Deceit
~No compromise
~Been over possessive
~Egoism
~Lack of spontaneity~routines bore me to death

Probably the most objective post so far!
Lies can be anything from a white lie to a lack of recollection on certain matters  
Compromise n spontaneity of course works both ways

2dye4:
My dear, what r u waiting for? relocate to the same hotel and make sure your room is next to his, dnt forget to be prepared and loaded (pestel, sticks, clubs etc) u dnt even av to see them hump, once ther're 2gether, ATTACK!!!!!!!

LOL - Your boyfriend hasn't done anything wrong (that u can prove anyway). I'm assuming he told u about his stay in the hotel with this girl - was it by choice (we don't know), is it because of work (we don't know) - trust WORKS BOTH WAYS in a relationship, clear your mind and trust your man according to his word, you're just stressing yoself! Have a coke n a smle.

Well the choice and answer is simple - if you are considering someone for marriage only A fits tha bill. Someone to be honest, sincere, humble and that will give you peace of mind and a healthy relationship. Fact is you already know this, but don't want to give up the sexual benefits of B - don't, just don't marry her - but we then have to think about the kind of person you are if you will take your vows lightly.

Aight i c manz ave got skillz - TIGHT

Pointing n laughing 2pac ko 6pac ni.

@sil - "She didn't say a word, I watched her but she didn't look at my face either.Men do i have to go talk her?"

U think collect the money jo!

o'bouy take the money - there's something already there since you found the guy sitting on yo lady's bed, u go find another one!

K2 - OFLMAO

ROFLMAO - Desperados don hijack yo thread o

LOL - 3 brilliant ideas, what do u do?

There is no one answer the decision is yours! you are the one that knows her best (or not at all as the case maybe). You told her you love her, she dismissed u - now u want to kiss her, go for it and know that she'll probably slap u afterwards n of course never speak to u again. Or u can just leave her be and let your relationship be purely plutonic without u lustn after her, otherwise cut your interactions and conversations to the bear minimum and move on.