₦airaland Forum

500,000 downloads; True, but guess what ? We only listen to it for 30secs and made use of the delete key. Omo na deleting straight before her songs send us to coma. How many people can boast of listening to the whole song ? Walahi, fan would force tonto to leave music and probably try wrestling or gidigbo gidigbo since she can run her mouth anyhow at her fans.

Tell her you mistakenly mention her name while u went in quest for money ritual and that the only way she can be free from her dying is for her to break up with you. That way she will be the one to breakup with you. No woman wan be victim of money ritual even though they love money.

This is what happend to the Robber that attempted to break into my house. Please, will i go to jail ? The guy is still hanging on my fence and i've not notified the police. Am still thinking if i should leave him there for a whole year as a sign of warning to every other aspiring robbers waiting to break in.

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ritze: Mk u no kill person wt laff for ds kain early momo oo

Na so d song bad reach
@igbsam if tontoh catch u ehn
Na dye o
Lmfao

Make she try am na.....Her song dey give me sleepless night and even make me discover my talent in stuffs like this. More coming soon!!!

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Walahi, i can't help laughing my ass out. This are the reactions we get for our superstar's new found career. Please, what's the situation report in your area after people around you have listened to this our new banger. How many records of death! She's seriously trending since the release of her new singles.

You need to see the way These so called fashola task force and police officers were hunting down okada yesterday around pen-cinema agege. It was like a war zone. I smashed into an okada man and my bumper got destroyed all in the name of him trying escaping the officers. They were even trowing batons and sticks at moving okadas that they would fall and then confiscate their bike. Heavy traffic yesterday. You need to see where okada riders were perfoming James Bond stunt trying to escape dem police officers. We have stunt men as okada riders i swear.

Am 32 years old dating a girl of 27years.I have been following this blog for a while now and am encouraged with some of the advices given here.Am sure you are all aware of the recent killings of the four students of UNIPORT in Aluu community.Am a native of Imo state.

All this while,i never gave it a thought to know my woman`s village in Port-harcourt,but the recent killings of the student made me to be curious to know her particular village in Port-harcourt.She tried to cover the issue,butI insisted on knowing and she said it`s Aluu comunity.

It really came to me as a shock, this is because,this same girl have threatened me with a knife few months back when we had a minor argument.

Please my people your advice is greatly needed as am so confused at the moment, and am really in-love with her.



http://www.mercyjohnson.com/my-wife-to-be-is-from-aluu-community-please-need-help?fb_comment_id=fbc_390309077704270_3344500_390352731033238#f2db9b49e

Why himself no dey walk from him house to alausa ? Nonsense. If he wants to lead example, he should park his cars and convoy then walk from home to his office. if him fit do am, i bet u, i will walk from my house to the island everyday to work.

The Aluuminati's show of shame.

Why am i not surprised #Team Chelsea# Known to be violent after taking the chelsea gin. Hooliganism runs in the blood of chelsea fans. Proudly displaying his jersey for such act. Mr. Plank Guy

ichidodo: IT IS EITHER U R WIT THE IGBO CAUSE OR AGAINST IT. SOME NIGA COMES ALL UP IN THESE MODAF**KER AND POST SHIIT ABOUT THE IGBO WOMAN AND ALL U CAN DO IS TO LIE DOWN WHILST TAKIN IT ALL IN LIKE A FUUL?,WELL I AM NOT A BASTARD SO I WIL DAMN WELL DO AS I PLEASE AS FAR AS DEFENDIN THE IGBO RACE IN THIS HERE FORUM IS CONCERNED,IF U AINT IN SUPPORT THEN U CAN BACK-OFF AND DONT INFECT ME WIT URE COWARDICE.

My guy, go drink cold pure water make u stop to dey rant. The last time i checked, i no sure say u know road to your igbo village.

ichidodo: THIS YERIBA MAN WILL NOT ALLOW THE IGBO RACE TO DRINK WATER DROP CUP. IS IT BY FORCE TO MARRY AN IGBO GIRL? THE IGBO GIRL IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, MOST INTELLIEGENT, HARDWORKIN, SUPPORTIVE AND LOYAL OF ALL OTHER WOMEN IN NAINJA RITE NOW.DONT FORGET THEY MAKE WONDERFUL WIVES,DUTIFUL AND PROACTIVE WIVES SHE IS CREATED FOR THE HANDSOME,STRONG AND PROTECTIVE IGBO-MAN, THE YERIBA MAN WILL ALWAYS HAVE LONG THROAT. I JUST PITY THE YERIBA WOMAN IN THIS SCENARIO.

Well, I never get your reply yet. I have quite alot of igbo friends, both male and females and most of those stuffs listed on the post were 90% right about igbos. Igbo men has the biggest ass-set due to too much ofe owerri and the likes.

ItsModella: @OP, All that BULLSHIT you spewed is for the birds...anuofia.

You see ? I don talk am.......See them o! The abuse dey their lips waiting to be unleashed. Reason why their husbands no dey fit escape am. Point No.2

DailyNews: @OP, I need my internet credit back plz...mods pls tell him

Come collect am....lol

Okontami: Its 100%true. Am married to an Ibo Lady. When she is happy , yea all is well she will not exhibit any of those. But, when those daughters of Jezebel mistakenly send me voice notes or text or call or bbm or email or wassap or anything or they have mistakenly shift the passenger seat backwards, or their thick perfume is still smelling in the car or their sandy shoes make a mark on the car's carpet or I cant f*uck like the normal me; Then all those things you posted are invoked. In fact I dey always regret am o. Life is not gonna be easy at all. Any how God is my refuge.

You screwed dude!

dubem3: chinaza, esi'm na uda onu welu malu na ibu ezigbo nwafo igbo. okwa i ma na iwu bu na onyr nwelu onu ga na ekwu okwu. hapu ndi iwe na ewe ka ha na agbakasi onu. ha nile cholu idi ka anyi. nne ndewo. ndi igbo bu ndi etelu mmanu nso.

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dubem3: now, i must thank you for the good laugh.
secondly i recognise the elements of truth which even added to the humor.
But then, that don't make your story true.
as for the guys who are pissed, my questiom is why?

I tire o!

chemashie: Guy yan me more of that shitz! Time for confession is here o..

Make we hear your confession first.....lol

IZUKWU: Some of what you posted appeared to be true but some are arrant nonsense and ignorance . Am an anambrarian . One does not need to be the first daughter to be an ' umu ada ' and it is not a cult of any type whatsoever. Every daughter is one.

[quote author=gree-die]yes o funny but true!

Op, it's dimkpa, not dimgba.. And umuada isn't a cult nor is it reserved for the first daughters only.[/quote]Thanks for the correction guys....Me been think say na cult o, cos of the way dem dey organize themselves to tackle the bleeped up husband.

binger: Anofia! Its either u are onye ibe ribe or ofe mmanu...u better go and get a life

I no talk am ? Dem don start....I don beg una to cut my head leave my neck intact o!

Nkonadi: U da find Front page? Idiot... U r such an asshole..

Wetin concern me with Frontpage. Well sha, i no mind frontpage make i hear people reaction to this..

This will cause some heads to roll!!
And am sure mine is the first. But before you yab me, i copied it from somewhere and decide to post it here to know if this is true! Some it seems some are true as i have witnessed quite a few and i no just fit shout! I even tire to seperate fight. To those who would want to cut my head all in the name of comment, please cut my head and leave my neck standing, bikonu!

Now, take note of the following, dear friend:

1. Forget Authority: If you were marrying a Yoruba woman, she would have come to your house with her mother’s voice ringing in her ears that a husband’s house is a place where life’s lessons are learnt. It’s a different story for the Igbo woman. She comes from a long line of ‘unruly’ people who traditionally have no concept of a central authority figure. Prepare to be stared down eyeball to eyeball in an argument. Prepare to be laughed at when you attempt to assert yourself as the ‘man of the house.’ When she’s done laughing, she’ll measure you, up and down with her left, and sneer: ‘Hian! See this one o; who do you think you’re talking to?’ She’ll clap and shake her head, then she’ll add something in Igbo and then saunter away, wriggling her backside. It isn’t for nothing that the legendary Aba Womens’ Riot happened in…ABA.

2. Prepare to be Called Names: No, I am not referring to endearing (more like puke-inducing, actually) names like Baby, Darling, or Nkem. I’m talking about names that qualify your lineage and ethnicity in terms that are not exactly complimentary. If you are Yoruba, you and your people will be Ndi ofe mmanu (something about too much oil in your soup and fried things in your life); If you are a Northerner, you and your people will be Ndi beribe (something about possessing a mumu gene). Find solace in the fact that if you are truly Yoruba, you ‘know’ that Igbo people use kick to wake their mothers up from the mat in the morning.

3. Say Goodbye to your Waistline: Your waistline will increase in proportion to the years you spend with an Igbo woman who knows the well-beaten path to her mother’s kitchen. Gone are your days of adding stew to ewedu and okro, or eating egusi soup that was blended with tomatoes. Tufiakwa! The introduction of Ofe Akwu, Nsala, Oha, Onugbu, Ofe Owerri and Oporoko will ensure that when you sit, you fill up the chair. That’s what is called a man, a DIMGBA! Not one that looks like something some hungry wind blew in. When the husband of an Igbo woman stands, people must see that a man is standing. Size matters. Don’t be deceived by the looks of people like Ebuka Obi-Uchendu and that six-pack nonsense; he’s not a proper Igbo man. Look more at people like his elder brother Ugo or imagine Noble Igwe a few years after marriage; now, those are real Igbo men! Size matters to an Igbo woman.

4. Be Aware of the Oriaku Syndrome: You have not heard of the Oriaku Syndrome? Don’t worry, I will tell you. You see, when you marry an Igbo woman, you work for her. Your glory comes from seeing her shine. When she steps out, people must SEE your money on her body. If your wife looks like the dried fish she uses in cooking your soup, you are not a man! If she’s dressed like something that was sent to Lagos along with discarded wares, you have failed in your duties! The Oriaku Syndrome posits that your wife is the chopper of your money, simple. Don’t take this to mean that you are her provider and therefore she isn’t independent. When the Igbo man was planting yam, the Igbo woman was planting and harvesting cocoyam, and as every Igbo household can testify, the cocoyam is more useful than yam. Yam is only the king crop because the Igbo society, like others, is phallocentric. Don’t get it twisted.

5. Beware of the Illuminati: Do not marry any Igbo woman that is the first daughter of her father. All first daughters in Igboland are members of the real Illuminati. They sometimes call it by another name: Umuada. They are the most powerful group in Igboland and can do and undo. No one uses small spoon to measure their food. If you marry one and misbehave and she reports you, you are doomed. Even when you don’t marry one, you are still doomed if your wife ever reports you to them. They may decide that all the first daughters from her village will come and live in your house for a month. You may wish to consider suicide if that ever happens to you. It is the Igbo woman who has forgotten the path to her father’s house that suffers in a man’s house when she has the Umuada waiting.

6. The Catholic Church Intervention: When an Igbo woman is tired of you and your nonsense, she’ll simply pack her bag and return to her father’s house. If you do not run after her and collect your bride price back from her father, whatever child she bears anywhere she goes will bear your name. Yes, I’m serious. This is why there are no bastards in Igboland. But thank God for the Catholic Church, this doesn’t happen often. The average Igbo woman is Catholic and the Catholic Church has issues with divorce. Be smart: if you’re going to marry an Igbo woman, marry one who is a Catholic; it reduces her chances of leaving you by about 50%.

You may wish to ask why none of the above is often the case when an Igbo woman marries an Igbo man… well, I don’t know. Perhaps the Igbo man knows how to be ‘oga’ over the Igbo woman and has refused to share the secret with aliens.