₦airaland Forum

VanBommel:
another F**L spotted. Must you quote everything

Dotwillis1:
Okay batch B stream two orientation course ended about two weeks ago. Well, I'm privileged to be posted to the capital of the largest state in Naija! (google is at your reach ).

Btw, below are my list of the 10 types of people you meet in the Nysc Orientation camp.

1. The Clowns
https://www.herald.ng/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/10022015C-nysc-corper-800x600.jpg

These are the extremely funny ones, mostly warri guys. They always have something to say to get people's ribs cracking. You will never see them been serious for once, all they do is find someone or something to make fun of. They never get tired of talking. Don't bother confronting them for anything because you will end up as their topic and have so many persons laughing at you.

2. Error-Prone

These category are the otondos that always get it all wrong on the parade ground. After been corrected severally, they still get confused. You see them turning to the right at the command of 'left turn'. When others are at Attention, that's when they have their hands behind at Ease. Thier hands will never rhyme with others during quick match and when they halt, their legs always bangs last.
They are the kind of people that still hangs their 'head dress' in the air even after the completion of the 3 hearties to the Governor.

3. The Scroungers

They can beg to borrow your destiny. They never possessed anything of their own instead indulge in the habit of borrowing every possible thing from you, and then you will have to beg before they return it. These set of persons lived in school hostel and are used to the hostel lifestyles, so they never bothered to come with basic needs with the assurance of getting it from others. Its when you just finished locking your box and set to go out that they will come and be like; 'bros abeg I need toothpaste' .. abeg I fit use your towel? 'bros I go like borrow your comb' .....
and also they are never with 'change' ...always asks for N20 to buy table water.

4.FFO
www.nairaland.com/attachments/3667714_fbimg1462187692794_jpeg74774f5bfd64ea17e9edf692025da916

These ones are the first to complain about how terrible the food is and yet they never missed a meal. These kind of people will join the platoon set to leave the parade ground first, so that they can get their plates washed quickly and gets to the kitchen before any other person does. You see them forming a que even when the water to make eba is yet to boil.
They already exhaust thier money to Mami at the first week of Orientation.

5. Shunters
[img]http://3.bp..com/-1U7oKI5JJ6k/VP1sj2qyLUI/AAAAAAABXvY/bjR2dziynGM/s1600/2.jpg[/img]

This kind of people can be so annoying en, you been standing in sun for hours and then you see them coming from nowhere to join the long 'line' at the front. Shunting is in their blood, even where you have just 3 persons on a line, they still find a way to chance the last person. Some do it politely by begging to join......and some will just be like 'guy I dey here before o, I went to blow my nose ni' . .....who be mumu

6. Womanizer
https://gist22.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/vcguyy.jpegwww.nairaland.com/attachments/3720893_cymera20160516145243_jpeg0b077d81843c5ba684712c40edc944e9

These are the no dulling guys. They are in camp to hunt for girls and their aim is to woo as many as possible so that as they are serving the father land, they will be servicing their rooster as well

7. Photo Freak
[img]https://2.bp..com/-PGZieZ41pDU/WIr7oeVb6JI/AAAAAAACrNw/i34VKzElD88V0K55tFUvSRqQfyEamo7xgCLcB/s1600/colm.jpg[/img]www.nairaland.com/attachments/4559428_s161201115314_jpega2b7ca6ec44f7aa832500f2c3f273d34
The ladies are more in this category. They prefer spending all their money on photograph to feeding their tummy. They never get satisfied with selfies no matter the amount of shots taken

8. Do-nothing crew

You begin to wonder if this kind of persons were forced to be in camp. They don't participate in anything, be it the fun aspect and the boring parts. They hardly go for parade and lectures and always complain about the Nysc scheme being a waste of time. You will always find them laying on their bed in the room even after the soldiers has chased everyone out. They have their drugs and fake medical reports to cover up.

9. The Old youth
[img]https://naijaplayboi.files./2012/07/oldman.jpg?w=333&h=333[/img]www.nairaland.com/attachments/3859281_img20160619031753edit_jpeg12a4f955309ef79f99fee953e51f85c3

These ones don't want to be left out of the fun in camp, so they leave their children and wives at home to take part in the orientation. They do every possible thing not to look old specifically their 'skin' hairstyle. And then you see them very quiet. They prefer not to be noticed.

10. Feel free to add to the list!

...here I drop my pen!
--Copper Dotwilliz

Cc lalasticlala , Crazyman

ijustdey:
http://newtelegraphonline.com/crime/metro/robbers-amourer-held-abia/

ogedanny:
From my inbox

Amanda,Greetings from Lagos.pls help me share cos I know most of your followers are here in Lagos. its God that
saved me yesterday.I applied for a job via Jiji on Monday, on Wednesday I was called for interview in Maryland Lagos.I got to Maryland took a bike to the location for the interview. When I got to the lonely building in mende there in Maryland, Okada dropped me and left, no one to ask a question, I called the number that was attached to the message of interview to tell him I'm at the venue, he picked and said his men are downstairs, I looked around and saw two men, the looks on their faces was not funny.They asked me to open the message for them to see, I opened it, after Reading they said I belong to room one, that I should switch off my phone b4 climbing the stairs, I told them I'm not expecting any call, they said its compulsory.I asked them how long the interview will last and they said 3 to 4hrs, I was tired. I told them to give me a minute let me inform my pple that I won't be hD
me early as I told them, l went towards the gate to call my sister, as I was answering the call two men came down making them four, they started shouting on me that I'm wasting their time that is like I'm not ready for the job.As this was happening a guy from no where came behind me all I heard was "my case is different "and I said so is mine.

He said he saw the winners bangle I was wearing that I should meet him outside the gate. I followed him, he asked what brought me here, I told him I came for an interview, he said I should thank my God that I saw him if not it will be a different story by evening.That I should leave the place immediately that the pple are using charms on pple. I thanked him and entered a bike that dropped one guy at the gate there and left. They called and called I no pick.This morning they sent a text that my interview has been rescheduled.Lets be vigilant with online Jobs I have not been myself since yesterday, have been on thoughts. But I thank God for saving cos I don't know what the story could have been. Family Pls let be careful OK. Luv u all.

Forwarded as recieved

Bahddo:
If I talk now, dem go see me as the enemy. Lying unconscious for 3hrs is not the same as being clinically dead.

ashewoboy:
source: http://pulse.ng/gist/pulse-list-how-to-be-a-real-lagos-big-girl-id5974317.html

Homeboiy:
I blame d husband

Papiikush:
She is a Muslim isn't she?

stephenduru:
Yesterday I shared a story of a lady who conspired with 2 others and stoned her step daughter dead in Makurdi,Benue state.

From the little I could understand from more information shared by Rariya,here is the face of the woman who stoned her step daughter dead.Our Hausa readers should please explain more with the help of the screenshot below.

Source: http://www.trezzyhelm.com/2017/02/see-face-of-woman-who-stoned-her-step.html

dre11:
http://leadership.ng/news/573842/primary-sch-teacher-divorces-husband-over-unattractive-penis-in-delta

youngkinz:
The cruelty of a nonchalant landlord led to the disastrous injury to a 5 year old girl. In so much pain and hardship for that her young age, it is hard to see all the pain she is going through as a waste because the landlord excessive buying of dogs. He has over 15 dogs in his house which have being mismanaged, underfed and caged for a very long time. Only for one of the dog to bust out and attack a young 5 years innocent girl, with so much scar that will live with the girl forever.

The power of landlord makes him feel like he has overall right without taking his tenants into consideration. This man has over 15 dogs in his house even when complains have been made repeatedly by the tenants with no justifiable reasons given by him. The pain this child is currently feeling of every poison running through her vain. As can be seen from the images, this is not just a flesh but a brutal attack by a dog. This story is made to create and alert the necessary agency that is responsible to handle such cases with immediate effect.

This incident happen in erunwen, ikorodu lagos as at 5:10 pm today.

Please FrontPage

AbuadStudent:
http://punchng.com/unilorin-abuad-to-develop-medicinal-rice/

CeoNewshelm:
As shared online, this is how food was served in a n undisclosed party.


An online user shared the picture to challenge party organisers who served party meals with tiny meat:


He said:




http://www.newshelm.com/2017/02/photo-party-food-packed-with-500-naira.html

hinwazaka:
http://dailypost.ng/2017/02/17/fulani-group-offers-protect-refineries-pipelines/

Islie:
http://punchng.com/cctv-exposes-rivers-police-kill-painter-roadside/

ovokooo:
Source: http://ovoko.com.ng/kill-boy-kidnapped-knows-kidnapper/

beneviv:
Na wa o, God has indeed #CASH# her

mezynaija:
A Facebook user identified as Kingsley Ugochukwu cries out as he alleged to have lost over N3Million to the popular MMM Ponzi scheme.

He took to his Facebook profile to share his story, read below:

i have been comporting myself and i think is high time to cry out for the word to hear my voice. i was supposed to be paid since on 21 of December but till now nothing has been done, ok the officials told me to provide help of at least 100k that once someone merged for me to pay that they will immediately assign people to pay me... ok i pledged to provide help of 100k since on Friday till now nothing has been done.

now MMM is playing with my 3M that i made with sleepless night!!!!

Source: http://www.jtownconnect.com/2017/02/mmm-participant-breaks-silence-after.html

metronaija2:
According to Chukwu Sabina, a reader of Metronaija narrated how a guy gave her the beating of her life on Valentine day. Read more below


For those of you guys saying rubbish on my social media it's happened to me unexpectedly on 14 February on Valentine's Day.

I was washing my clothes outside my house, one stupid Guy that always shout like a fool bcuz he do smoke weed, shouted & said his water was missing & I told him I don't know about d missing water he looked at me & said to me re u mad, I told him wot have I done worry nd he said wen his talking I shouldn't talk I told him y not nd he started beating me up

http://www.metronaija.com/2017/02/photos-guy-beats-lady-mercilessly-on.html

Kimjinkyu:
Pro Buhari currently at Prayer Ground Praying For the quick and Full recovery of President Muhammadu Buhari in the Emirs Palace Kano State.


https://adeenewsblog..co.ke/2017/02/prayer-at-emir-of-kano-palace-for.html?m=1

Keneking:
Why is there a gold colored dot on Mercy's chest?

CastedDude:
A total of 162 Nigerians stranded in the Islamic Republic of Libya were returned back home today and received by the National Emergency Management Agency along with the office of the Special Assistant to the President on Foreign Affairs and Diaspora Matters. A chartered flight that brought the returnees arrived the cargo wing of Murtala Mohammed International Airport where they were officially received at about 4pm.

Director General of NEMA was represented by the Deputy Director Search and Rescue Dr Onimode while the Special Assistant to the President Hon Abike Dabiri was represented by Mr Abdulrahman Balogun.

Breakdown of the returnees as given by Dr Onimode shows that 61 of them were males and 101 females. He further explained that among the males were 2 children and 7 infants while the females had 7 children and 2 infants.

He also said that the return of the stranded Nigerians were facilitated by the International Organization for Migration as on arrival, they were profiled, fed and assisted back to their various towns and homes.

Source; http://www.nationalhelm.net/2017/02/161-nigerians-deported-from-libya.html

EVILFOREST:
Please, what's CHEATING...??

TheBlessedMAN:
Due to the Economy recession, i am damn broke.. Unlike previous Valentines that i use to take my gf to exortic places... This time around, i can't afford that luxury, cos as am typing this Message, i have just #500 with me.. And i really want to buy something for my Gf as a Vals gift..


Advice= pls what can i buy? Pls o...

KennedyNwaodu:
Meet Corper Valentine That Just Died Few Days To Valentine.

We became friends in camp, later we got posted to the same PPA and inevitably became roommates. You said you were going to town to buy one or two things, but Valentine Umeh! You never made it back to our Corpers' Lodge. The speed boat Corper Valentine was inside capsized and he didn't survive just because NYSC couldn't provide Life Jacket for most of us serving in remote Islands here in Bayelsa.

14th February should have been your Birthday, and you said you were gonna turn our Corpers Lodge upside down with so much fun but now you are no more. RIP my friend... Corper Valentine Umeh #KoolGuy #MyFriend #MyRoommate #UniAbujaGraduate #GreatEconomist #Kennedyisgonnamissu4life.

TrapQueen77:



Ur absence making her feel empty & sexually hungry.. Why not try or introduce phonesex with her or video sex? At least both of you are doing it.

ovokooo:
A facebook user said a pastor surprised his wife on her birthday by flying her family to the US for her birthday. She was very elated.

Watch the video below:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cd-nKdqqmSE

Source: http://ovoko.com.ng/watch-nigeria-pastor-america-surprised-wife-birthday-video/

habgito:
It seems Simi is really pregnant, this photo surfaced from her Etisalat Endorsement event.

A lot of frenzy on the internet after it came out. Lets pray for twins for our Nigerian Beyonce

Who's responsible, babe?

http://www.jamienaija.com/2017/02/pictures-of-simis-baby-bump-is-this-true.html

onismate:
Now, the assistant Digital marketing executive of Tecno mobile Nigeria took to Instagram to narrate what happened today at the Tecno office during a raffle draw where winners were picked. According to the staff, the winner won N500,000. They called him ten (10) times and he didn’t pick. The 11th time he switched his phone off. At that moment was the 5th hour they have been trying to reach him but couldn’t. They had to select another winner.

I guess the second person that was picked, God don answer the person. See what Tecno’s digital marketing executive wrote.

https://www.hovabuzz.com/frontline/1305-when-village-witches-are-at-work-see-how-someone-lost-n500-000-from-tecno-raffle

what do you think? village witches or ..

Truth234:
http://investorsking.com/man-jailed-for-investing-customers-money-in-mmm/