LagosismyHome:


Butlins is a poor cousin to Center Parcs ........but little kids will enjoy Butlins and Bognor Regis is the newest of the Butlins so accomodation is a lot nicer

Thanks for this response.
Will have a look!

Sounds like ADHD,the child should get assessed.
Get reports from school about his behaviour and ask to be referred for ADHD assessment.

If in Nigeria,go to paediatric psychiatrist or a psychiatrist for assessment.


Op read up about it and see if it fits your child then push till you get referred .

Children like this are not being naughty intentionally,they struggle with short attention span,lack of focus,easy distractibility,day dreaming,excess energy with brains whizzing so fast.

It's not a their fault,of course there are behavioural interventions but most effective if combined with medication assuming it is ADHD.

@fatima04

A while back,we wanted to try the Butlins but a Caucasian colleague talked so badly about it and told us to go to Center Parcs instead.

We went to the Woburn Forest and it was amazing.
Accommodation was great and everything else was good.

Kayaking,jet ski for kids,pedaloo ,they also had lovely pools ,subtropical water paradise,spa,zip lining,pottery etc

They also have a Safari in the village.


Is Butlins same kind of experience? Would you recommend? Bognor Regis isn't even that far from me.

Check out center parcs,it's lovely.

Mamatukwas,

Husband has the Wahl vogue,I don't know how to classify it.

He was forming money saving DIY barber and ended up giving the son a life changing haircut.

As in I looked at my son and I could not talk,I wanted to laugh and wanted to cry..he almost scalped him in the name of haircut,left a shiny mess.I just told the boy that it's a cool hairstyle in Nigeria.

Since that day,it's been the barber £25 for both of them but at least I know the aftermath is a nice haircut not ayamatanga.

DIY is not for him.

Please know where your own husband falls in to avoid stories that touch.

Olalekank, how can I help?
Unfortunately,can't reply my email so I mentioned here to know.
Cheers!

Mamatukwas:


I owe you lunch [b]You’re such a sweet soul, [/b]always helpful. Thanks a lot boo. Will make progress with this your post.

You failed this one well well

How are you? Have you been able to book anything?
There's bluestone Wales as well o.

Shawtykel:


Thanks a lot sis.. God Bless you

you'll be fine

@shawtykel

I empathize with your situation,no parent wants to leave a very young baby to go and hustle.

It must be very difficult and I'm sure you will make the best decision with the baby's future and that of your family in mind.

I started work when my baby was 4 months old,it was hard!! Family came in to help as much as they could at the time.I'm sure many people would have sneered at me at the time and called me irresponsible.

I still feel guilt sometimes but it has been for the best,to provide stability, emotional, mental, and a decent lifestyle as well.


No one really knows what a child will turn out to be,you can only do what you can.


You are the one in that situation,think clearly and strategically then do what you believe is best!!


I wish you all the best ,I assure you that things will definitely get better with time.

sgtponzihater1:


Thank u. Hopefully will be able to share the good news soon.

Cheers! I hope everything goes well.

Greenfriend:

Yeah. There are agencies who recruit but that's usually after U have done your own homework (for my profession, U have to pass IELTS and PLAB 1 & 2 exams, then apply for registration with the UK medical council). I got my job myself after applying through the NHS Jobs website and having interviews on Skype while in Nigeria. Some colleagues got through agents (some who make empty promises). Different strikes for different folks, mate

@sgtponzihater1
I believe this poster is very current
I don't know about agents,I think they take a lot of your money away and tie you down with odd contracts ,if you leave them before the contract time runs out,they take away thousands of pounds.

They also will promise jobs and not be able to follow up so ideally you want one from nhsjobs as a cushion,you find your feet and then move on sharply.

@davechapelle, congratulations on your new addition!!

sgtponzihater1:


Medical Jobs please

Have you done your Plab one and two?
A guy some pages ago said something,let me look and see.
Have you looked on nhsjobs website?

sgtponzihater1:
Help!!!, need a job in the UK ASAP. Tired of Naija. Any help at all?

You have to be more specific.
What field exactly? What sort of job etc.

sutelk:
My Queen and my Prince landed safely today. Family is reunited again after 8 months. I've been highly favoured by Baba God in the whole process, even me can't believe it happened so fast.
May God grant those of you that have similar aspirations the same favour.
In other news, cold is catching some people upon say I set thermostat at 25 degrees. Help me tell them sorry

Sorry to the cold people,they'll adjust soon.
Congratulations on the reunion and all the best to the family.

Shanzzy:
Ha accommodation was sorted but getting here,i was informed that due to my child it won't be granted anymore.

Sorry you've had this experience.

Can you be specific about the sort of help you need?
What sort of house you're looking for ?
Have you looked on Rightmove and the other house hunting websites others mentioned some pages ago?
I'm assuming it's student accommodation and thats why they refused you.

I hope someone with better ideas pops up soon


Sorry oo

Shanzzy:
Fatima and other able mothers in the house please help me. Some of the the accommodation i saw they keep saying no child but accept couple.

Hiya, unfortunately I don't know Manchester at all so can't be of any help.
Have you looked at spare room website?
I've always rented from Rightmove where you can put in your location and all houses for rent will pop up.

You may just have to perch in a b&b till you sort yourself out? How did you leave Naija without accommodation sorted?

Maybe a church will help?
Sorry o

Mamatukwas:


Hewww!!! Please I’m looking for cheap and cheerful all inclusive. I know it’s a bit late but some personal issues made it harder to plan earlier. Sigh.

Have you looked at jet2holidays? Ryanair holiday packages?onthebeach,lastminute dot com websites nko

Totstotravel also has holiday packages

The problem is going during school holidays.

You can also go to a travel agent and tell them what you want?


If it's going to be too hard,have you tried crieffhydro in Perth? It's alright if you don't mind dated rooms,loads for kids to do, pony rides,golfing,zip lining,tree adventures,spa for oldies,bowling,nice restaurants that do room service etc plus they have childcare you can book for some hours so you can chill out.

Centerparcs too,Belgium(erperheide or vossemeren) which is cheaper than the UK ones.Loads for kids to do.

Also go to Mumsnet and look for the travel/holiday section,you'll find so much information.

That's where I've gotten all our holiday recommendations which have turned out great.

Hope you find something oooo.Planning holidays is usually hellish.

Mamatukwas,
You're booking late oo for summer.Most of my colleagues booked last year

If you can travel in term time,things will be cheaper.Once school holidays set in, everything triples.

You'll also need to decide if you want all inclusive holidays or if you want to book everything separately.

If your kids are small,you may prefer all inclusive type things to keep them busy.

I'll be back soon to continue

Rubyventures:


This is the reason most African businesses don't do well here. The customer service is next to nothing, when you are buying stuff from them they act as if they are doing you a favour by selling to you. They have their faces like they just sucked on a lemon and they will be on the phone and expect you to be waiting for them to finish their phone call.

It's terrible.

sgtponzihater1:


Any help about educational system in the UK. Primary and Secondary. The Public VS Private


Kindly intimate me.

Hmmmmm this one is complicated.
I intend to go private aka public school for Secondary with my kids ,earlier if there's cash.

But just incase we cannot,we chose to live in a place with about 2 outstanding Comprehensive Secondary Schools and a third good one with good after secondary destination for the school leavers.

Your child can do great wherever he/she is and you can even try private and the child will still be a bandit,there's no definite answer.

BUT UK is a funny place.

Where you live matters,the activities your child engages in matters,the friends they make matter.

If you live in a Council Estate riddled with drugs and alcohol with people who refuse to work/have never worked a day in their lives,there will be a bigger struggle to raise your child with these obstacles all around.

These areas don't tend to have good schools mainly due to lack of motivation and aspiration,children who were raised not to expect much in life so they don't want to learn and will disrupt your own kids lives.

Some kids want better but cannot and don't know how because of lack of guidance,so a lot of them fall into the same trap their parents fell into and never find a way out.

My colleague said her classmates are in prison,using drugs,saddled with kids just because even the teachers did not believe in their students and did not expect anything from them.She didn't know how to apply for UNI,no real guidance on how to present herself for interviews etc,no extra curriculars to add to her CV etc.

There's no single way to get it right except starting from Day 1 to speak with your kids and engage them in different activities,teach teach teach and listen.

My reasoning has always been to live in a good area for starters,this increases your chances of living around people with close to the same mindset as you.People who have work ethics ,who have ambitions and expectations for their children-this makes a difference.

These good areas tend to be a bit more expensive unfortunately,because of the cohort,the schools in these areas tend to be good as parents are involved in the lives of their kids,use tutors etc so better results..so the better to schools,the higher the house prices.

Here,education is not just about book.It also encompasses raising a rounded individual.. ballet, holidays, swimming, cooking, baking, scouts ,playing instruments,school trips to different countries etc
All these things enter CV and make a big difference


PUBLIC SCHOOL:

It can be quite costly,crippling sef if not planned well.
People doing odd jobs have done it but it involves working morning to night to send their kids there(one taxi driver i know did this),and the connections there may save someone for life.Members of the Alumni may be in high places etc

Eg your child's friend's father may be a top person somewhere and can easily get your child a space for work experience without long story

There's this confidence these kids have,i cannot explain it..when you meet kids in public schools,you know.There is something..The parents too expect high standards because of the fees they are paying so no slacking.Expectations are high.

The schools also are equipped with all sorts of things the state schools cannot afford,the length and breadth of extra curriculars they are exposed to,countless.Languages,instruments,hockey,rugby,cricket etc

You may get these in posh state schools and posh grammar.

GRAMMAR :
I don't live in a Grammar area so can't comment much on this but they Selective schools that do very well.
You enter strictly by Merit so very intelligent people.People start tutoring for this one early but if you ask them they deny and claim the child is not even revising.


Primary: I'm not really bothered about this one as i can supplement at home but we are in a church primary.Some people will argue about foundation,but i'm just not really bothered as again we are in a good area so all the primaries are good.

Ofsted -the school rating body,i don't really trust their reports.Go to a school and get a feel of it.

I forgot to add that you'll mostly be in your catchment school ie people that live in a particular area go to a particular school.

Some people home school too.

If you live in troubled area,you can raise a wonderful child o..i don't know but i just don't have power to be battling obstacles that don't have to be there

This is just my opinion based on my limited experiences..i'm sure others have different thoughts and ideas and i hop they expand so me i can learn and apply

Yinkzy03:
I'm sure you have answered all his questions and you even gave him jara, wekldone maam

sgtponzihater1:



I appreciate u sir

Cheers!

claremont:




You need to explore your hidden potential in writing, very good descriptor here.

If you know the man ehh,there's no other way to describe a person who looks so miserable,even to order food your liver will cut at the thought of the face and rude words..
I used to prepare myself psychologically just to go there
You pay for food and eat it in mental agony.

Mamatukwas:


That your Zone Is almost central Glasgow The closer you are to the city the more expensive I think. You were close to IKEA my love... I drive almost 50mins to get there so you can understand why my rent better make sense!

I was 30 minutes away from Glasgow and also 30 minutes away from Ikea at the time.
Your rent sweet make i no lie.

sgtponzihater1:
Plss I would love to relocate to the UK really soon. Can someone tell me the most affordable and friendly cities to reside in the UK. With very affordable housing, friendly indigenes, and fair weather. Not the extremely cold zones.

Thanks

Your question is a bit difficult to answer as people will generally have information about places they've lived.

I only have experiences of Scotland and South East England so far.

Cheap is relative,you have to factor in ease of transport,what sort of area you want to live in,what sort of environment ,schools, availability of work.


Scotland is cheaper but it's not as diverse.

The rail links aren't as widespread as England so driving is usually a good idea except on days when you are snowed in.

People are usually very nice,you may find racism here and there but it's not rampant in my experience and mostly depends on where you reside whether it's blatant to your face racism or the one that pretends and keeps it inside.

Standard of living is cheaper,the more expensive parts of Scotland and still cheaper by a bit in comparison to England.

There are no agency fees to pay for rent but you will pay a deposit eg if rent is £700 you'll pay £1400 or 1500 on the first month.

You do not pay bills for water like in England as it is factored into your council tax.

Weather isn't exactly stable,its sunny and rainy at the same time.


I have lived in the West of Scotland:

Glasgow is okay.You'll also see a number of African faces,some workers,many students due to the Universities there.

It has a Nigerian restaurant with expensive food owned by a man who never looks happy.

There are a few shops available where you can get Naija food.


The town centre is bustling with activities, lovely restaurants,friendly people,you could spend all day listening to music,watching buskers and just walking round all the shops

Restaurants plenty: I recommend

Viva Brazil( it's a place where you are served different cuts of beef from the menu..you will almost faint from the amount of meat you are served.)

Wagamamas

Bibi's for Brazilian food

Butchershop- Amazing for good service and wonderful steak

Miller and Carter


For schools and a nicer environment I would recommend:

East Renfrewshire- Newton Mearns,Eaglesham

Jordanhill
Bearsden
Milngavie
Kenzie
Bishopbriggs
Helensburgh
Anniesland

Jobs: Depends on your area of specialty

Money: Pay could be less than that of England but is matched by the cheaper standard of living.

I will write more when I remember.


South East of England:

Nice,costly,diverse, hotter than Scotland.

I hope people chip in about other parts.

Mamatukwas:


Na we wey dey Scotland dey enjoy Pass

We pay 850pcm for a 4bedroom mini mansion with 2 baths & 3 toilets Too much space!
.
You people should give this our Zone a chance, it ain’t that bad las las

Mamatukwas, it depends on where in Scotland naaa.We were paying £975 in a 3 bed flat in East Renfrewshire.

Scotland in general is cheaper shaaa.

Yinkzy03,

Sorry you have to deal with this.
Unfortunately, i agree with others that you have to move.

I lived on a first floor flat many years ago with first child,i had the neigbour under us hitting the ceiling with a broom or a hard object when he felt we were disturbing,we even got an angry knock on the door.

We were usually very apologetic but understood that they also wanted peace as well not a noisy child running round constantly.

We started avoiding flats since then.

If you ever move to a flat,get a ground floor one , or just go for a nice sound proof semi and have peace of mind.

It would be such a huge hassle to move but it will be worth it in the end if you don't have a hostile environment to live in even though their anger is justified..

You can tell the agents you will move,ask them if they have other property in their portfolio, this would cut charges for you i believe.

Pele oooo..


Forgot to add that you'll need reference from your agency if moving on so no need to antagonise them...

thorpido:
You have to read well. Not everyone works for people or live on the mainland working on the Island.
I wrote that specifically addressing the woman who has her own business. [[b]/b] I also said wife because it's easier to handle for women..

Hello thorpido,please can you expand on the bolded?I mean the easier bit?I hope you don't mind me asking.

I don't know if this counts as I don't live in Naija but I don't have househelps.

What makes the difference is shared burden/ shared work.If it lies on one person, there will be burn out.

DH and I work full time ,Monday to Friday and some weekends.

5:30 or max 6am alarm goes off.

DH does his brushing and co while I shower

I finish showering and do minimal dressing up and he enters to bathe.

I wake the kids and hand tooth brush over to them.

After that quick bath for one,DH comes over and bathes the second one.

We split the kids,I ensure one is dressed up,DH does the other then takes them downstairs to have breakfast while I finish my make up and co.

I go down and take over when I'm done then DH dresses up properly.

After breakfast,final dress up and shouting and we pile out.Dh drops us off- me at train station,kids in school and nursery.

I rush from work for school run ( they stay in after school club till 5:00),get home prep dinner for the kids,do some homework then shower for the night.I do this Monday to Wednesdays,DH school run Thursday and Friday.

19:00 Read to them,DH usually is back at this time.He comes up to do the goodnight and once they're tucked in we prep.our dinner,i heat the food while he does any dishes.

We chat about the day,eat and go to bed and then repeat same cycle.

We usually have a food plan for the week or at least an idea of what we will eat and put in fridge to defrost while at work.


Weekends if not working:

If no food,we cook.DH cooks some meals,I cook some eg he may cook stew while I cook porridge.We just subconsciously split who cooks what.

DH does laundry,I do ironing and planning outfits for the week for the kids.

I scrub bathrooms,he vaccums the rooms.

Sunday is eat out day.I can't be bothered to have extra stress.

It's not easy at all..very stressful but bearable with a partner who is hands on

Married 8 years plus

Fatima04,

£650 is amazingly good,I'm paying over double that for a 3 bed semi but it's almost over as we have exchanged on a house and will settle down finally in a few months.

You should get most of your deposit back,it's usually kept in a deposit scheme and you can even challenge whatever amount they are giving you back if it's not the full amount especially if there's no serious damage apart from the usual wear and tear.If you leave stuff for repair the agents tend to quote exorbitant amounts.
Timing of the return varies by rental agent..some could be days after,some weeks after.If there are deductions cos of repairs it lags on as they have to get quotes for the repair etc

Van hire: Enter Arnold Clark or the equivalent and rent a van for a day or two,it usually works out cheaper.I did this in one of our moves but for the cross country one,I paid some guys in church and they hired a van and did the same but at least they did all the heavy lifting and putting things together.

sistaj:

For the tips also coming from a good place I believe advising me to take a backseat and let hubby do the heavylifting, it doesn't matter who does . We have been going together as a team as well.We all have different personalities and some women are not built to wait for prince charming to take them to eldorado.They are capable and can do what they can without being micromanaged by their husbands. Some men are also very happy to bring home the bacon, take a backseat and let their partners take full rein.Some women also have a good track record of achieving things and management as well as leadership and there should be no tussle in relationships as to who does what.
Thanks again everyone and for reaching out.

You've said it all,BRAVO!!
Best of luck madam!

Killingmesoftly:
Compliments of the season all. Trust u guys had a luvly Xmas?
I am in need of a living-@ in nanny for my three kids, please does any body know how much they pay living in nanny for three kids. The nanny will work from monday to Friday from 7am to 7pm and two sats in a month. I live in Peterborough, does any one know how much will be will be ok. Will £600 be ok for a month since the nanny is going to live with me? Please I need responses for those that are using nanny

I believe you mean an au pair and not a nanny?

A nanny is the expensive option which would cost over £1k pcm or is it the agency type nanny cum aupair? The ones you pay per week?

Everything depends on your bargaining power I believe,I had one Nigerian nanny from an agency and I regretted it.

I was paying £1500 ,then I was paying holiday bonus,she had special food which we supplied and we also paid for her toiletries etc

She worked 5 days a week 8-6:30 and had weekends off.She did not cook,only job she did was clean her room,kids room and her bathroom,fold their laundry(we ironed), dress the kids make sure they had their meals & bathe them.

She was basically looking after the younger child as we placed the older one in nursery 4 times a week.

She was overtly familiar and kept on reminding me that she was a bank manager in Nigeria years ago,she was a big woman etc,I asked her how that was relevant to this job?

She was also very critical of the way we raised our children and wanted us to call her mama.

She never took the kids to the park or did any extra curricular activities with them, and she was constantly complaining.

If we came home and cooked food late she would complain that she was hungry..we always told her all the food was at her disposal but she preferred to eat what I cooked.

She once mistakenly knocked my daughter down and then blamed her for being in her way.

She scratched my daughter's face and blamed me for not buying hand creme to soften her nails.

She blamed my then 3 year old for farting in her face on purpose but she bent him over to wash his bum and somehow he farted but she said he did it on purpose.

This is a shortened version.I employed this Nigerian nanny who came highly recommended by the agency cos I thought it would aid my children in learning my local language.

We fired her after she tried to accuse my husband and I of something we did not do, something she clearly did but refused to tell the truth.

My children hated her but we were desperate cos of our jobs.I regret every second of it and will never make the mistake of sacrificing the well being of my children again just to make a living.

I have a friend who shipped a relative from Nigeria to nanny for her,the woman called police for them and said they took her documents and enslaved her..this woman is in her 40s.

Some people have good experiences though.

Nowadays I pay £1100 pcm for 4 days in nursery then breakfast and after school club £400pcm.
Extracurriculars cost about £300-400pcm

Once the younger one turns three,nursery fee will come down to about £700.

I'm happier with nursery for now because I have peace of mind,I'm happy to spend the money and have peace.The risk of leaving my most precious possession in the hands of just.anybody is too scary.I no dey do again.

DH and I have had to work round each other. He is more flexible thankfully as I cannot pick and choose my shifts at will.

I also spend loads to bring in grandparents from Nigeria but then again I have peace of mind.

If you have CCTV at home,maybe you can employ an aupair I don't know but you will have to tell.her there are cameras installed.I think they're the ones in the price range you mentioned,I may be wrong.

3 children is a lot but it depends on their ages.If 3 and above,check the 30 free hours entitlement.
If less than 3,you'll need to cough up the cash and work with partner/husband or not work at all till they're older.

Me I prefer to work and spend all my salary on nursery just to preserve my sanity, besides having a leg in the career door is very necessary for every woman.

Good luck.

Ekitibiased:
The issue of masters, is all due to issues as regards the license exam for foreign trained doctors in naija. It's been frustrating, I really need to move on and do something else. If things keep getting worse and doctors are leaving due to frustration then it's best to leave ASAP. It's quite complex cos of no license issue but I am open to non clinical options with the masters. If things do go well.....having a masters is a plus for plab2

Hello,

I trained outside Nigeria and did not do housejob.Pure hell!
It automatically means you cannot work here as a locum as you will have to start from the scratch which is Foundation year 1 because you do not have 1 year experience.

To get into Foundation Year one you need to compete with UK graduates and be on a visa that permits you to work which is either an ILR or Citizenship or an employer who is happy to give you a Locum Appointment For Training post as an FY1 and sponsor you on a Tier 2 visa.This is very unlikely because FY1 posts are usually filled up.

I had to wait to get ILR before I could work that's like 5 years all because I didn't do housejob.

If I were you ,I would do housejob,take PLAb ,get on a tier 2 and then do whatever you want.

Cheers!