Leyelyzo:

I think you have issues with men. However, you need to be rational here. If only you could understand the ordeals of a single mother, mind you she is just 35yrs. Jumping out of marriage sometimes might be like out of frying pan into fire.
Moreso, i told her to quit if she feels that is the best thing for her. She doesn't need to die alongside with the marriage.

CalienteMi: It is funny how "we" judge westerners for divorcing like crazy when we don't even know what really goes on behind closed doors. Some women should focus on the safety of their children's lives including their own instead of lamenting on what society will think. Nigerian society doesn't protect women and will tell a woman she must stay in her marriage and die before being single and alive.

Granted, divorce is seldom in Nigeria, but has extremely high domestic violence/deaths. How oxymoronic.

emmaliano: Marriage is for better for worse. You accepted that before God and man and you knew the man very well before getting married.So why are you complaining. Guys what God have put together let no one put asunder.

antitpiah:

WHose face? Tpiahs face or Fstrangers

Idowuogbo:

Mehnn Inky don't tempt me, i might just get u wet wiv my bros pics.

The guys dreads gets us VIP loolzzz

Chuks84: Most people supporting the op are nigerians in diaspora whose mentality have already been warped by the western world. Let's face the fact, no one will take you serious with your dreads in nigeria, you won't get a job in any corporate firm in 9ja looking like that. Its only 3 sets of people that carry dreads in the country. Those into entertainment, sportsmen and irresponsible fellows. The op confirmed it himself when he said the old people hate him. If you really loved your girl you would have shaved the dreads. Like every country, Nigeria has socio cultural values that ought to be adhered to. The public opinion of dreadlocked fellows is that they are irresponsible unless they prove otherwise.

antitpiah: ^^^^

WHen you saw him naked, did you scream or you just went straight to work gagging on it?

Gnexplore: hmmm.... not good for any man to lay hands on his wife ....not good!!!

@op good u came to this forum, yet can u tell us what normally trigger this action(reaction) from ur husband?

A man dont just wake up and start hitting his wife ....12 yrs ....sure u can tell us what proceeds these "beating times"

is your actions or utterances?`

am not judging you ....however we are learning ....u might have failed to notice the cause of your husband actions .... explaining events be4 he beats you here will help members point it/them out ......and others, including you, learn. ...hence u can teach your children properly .......

one more point ..............he could be BIPOLAR....it might be medical reason ...hence he might need help

Ileke-IdI:
You cannot intellectually talk to a man who is clocking 60. Neither can you change him.

Get "awon boys" on him to finish the story abeg. A man like that must taste his own medicine before he meets his maker. Or make it sweeter by getting his children to beat him. I am dead serious about it. The humiliation he has inflicted upon you must release upon him 4x more.

FEMARY1: But you are a handsome man now,why the ear ring and dreadlock.Shave everything off and look clean and let fresh air blow your head.

antitpiah: Were the golden locs on his head or in his pubic area?

dayokanu: At 23yrs you married a man who was clocking 50? About your fathers agemate.

First of all IMO thats a father -daugher relationship cos its possible he has daughters your age? What could be the attraction between a 23yr old girl and a 50yr old man? Most likely money and you are here complaining.

As you lay your bed, so you lie on it

WHen at 35yrs when you should be enjoying marital life, you are with a 60yr old man who probably cant get it up or would die soon from Viagra overdose

dasparrow: Nigerians and their wacky, constantly abusive marraiges. Poster, why would a young woman like you marry a man old enough to be your father? Anyways, its good you took a walk. I would hate to see the picture of another butchered body splashed all over the internet due to another case of domestic violence which is an everyday occurance in Nigeria. Goodluck!

Leyelyzo:

29yrs age-difference is not really the issue. And i see no reason why she shouldn't endure and stay those years, hoping for a better marital life with her husband. No marriage is perfect without one form of hitches or the other. Or should she be moving from one man house to the other? Tell me any human that is without any vices, no one is an immaculate. Even she is not perfect herself. Abi she should because of human imperfections refuse to get married or be under the control of any man?

@OP, in as much as divorce is being detested and not advisable, when it get to a point that you think that is the surest escape route out of marital predicament, then go for it. However, mind you, you need to weigh your options very well. Are you ready to be a single mother of four children through out the rest of your life? Or you intend to re-marry in future? If you don't intend to re-marry, have you considered what effects your seperation will have on your children; socially, morally, economically and religiously? If you intend to re-marry, how sure are you that the next man's house you are going will be better of? What effects will that have on your children? Will you have children or not with your new husband, or you think you are too old to bear children?

Sure life can be complex atimes. At this point of your life, you need to be mindful of decisions you take, because not only you will be at the receiving end. Try to see if you can save your marriage. Involve your parents, your husband's people and the elderly ones to talk to your husband. I am sure you must have taken some steps to make sure the marriage works. Try more, you never can tell when the change will come.

However, instead of you dieing in the storm, if you that it has got to that stage, i think you better work out.

Be prayerful to God to lead and guide you aright.

erico2k2: Well I dont see nothing wrong with dreads,My coz grew his over 7 years but have just had it cut.If OP was a footballer and plays for Man City and had dreads like Benny Man, would the parents say something?

queensmith:

I don't know about this, the tattoos (or what will pass for them) that i've seen in my culture are actually for a reason, not the same as the decorative tattoos we see today.

for one I think during the war tattoos were used to number and write addresses and DOBs to identify the children. I just learnt that (our parents) generation will place similar markings on their arms as fashion.

Though the attempt is the same it might connote a general youthful unseriousness and irresponsibility, it doesnt really matter if it's on someone else's body, you have placed it in a public place for people to see therefore giving them a opportunity to judge you.
Its the same as teens 'saggin' jeans, (o that rhymed!!!) The reason for this came from prison, if people started doing it on the street up and down what does that make you think about them?

new guy: its actually on you ****??
Its not a matter of stil been in stone age poo must we alway copy dem white its dir culture to neglect what we called human dignity ,we have morals I can't hav two ppl seekin for while one tattoed his body note I will not neva giv him d job becus I believe his inresponsible

Dipwater: Me luv dick tatoo and dick piercing I am gonna get it done very soon

WebSurfer: totally wrong, ama gonna upload a pic of ma locks intertwined with plated sides, maybe ♈̷̴̩ȍǘ Α̇̇̇̊r̲̅є̲̣̣̣̥ gonna call me a terrorist then, but I bet you am far berra than ♈̷̴̩ȍǘ, can bet ♈̷̴̩ȍǘ I have never stolen an inch frm somebody

Dipwater: I wuz in a relatioship with this beautiful girl sometime last year. I wuz trully in luv with her. But we broke up cuz she said her family wuldnt accept me cuz of my hair that they ll think am not responsible. I live in owerri where people are been judged by ur appearance,born and raisd in lag tho and it wuznt a big deal in lag cuz people tend to luk beyond the physical. Wat do u think. My luvly people no bashing pls

Bombshell77: Hi everyone. The whole point of this thread was for people to vent and feel better. Since I didn't actually expect to see this many responses, I thought about asking some follow up questions and here they are. Do you think the person who broke your heart still loves you or thinks about you? Do do you think he/she misses you? And if you had a chance to reconcile things with that person, would you? If so, how would you feel if the person didn't want to reconcile?

firestar:
@Inked nerd
You'll def get there sistah.
I did and you will too.
@9jasexy
Continue your story dearie, it feels like the 'magic schoolbus'.

seleroms: Heartbreaks last for as long as you want it to last. Your happiness depends on no one but you. How bitter the cup of heartbreak is depends on how fast you drink it up. Overall time heals. I had heartbreak 5 years ago and it took me 3 painful and bitter years to get over her cos i found it difficult to accept the fact that my fiance messed up and got pregnant for another guy( a family friend of hers). It was a harrowing experience for me when our wedding was fixed for november 07 but funny enough her marriage lasted for just 8 months then she makes a u turn n God forbid devil sha: everything happens for a reason and every heartbreak takes you closer to the real thing QED

breezy147:

what??

how did you know he had at those places?
did you UnCloth him??

cantell:
There's quite a big difference btw with temp body art which can be erased and tattoo.
Body arts are more like make-ups and it's not painful unlike tattoo.
The only thing i know that looks like tattoo is "Igbu ichi" in Igbo land(facial sacrification)
A very painful and near death experience.
I don't know about other African cultures but then, it wasn't permanent like now.
@topic,
I'm not comfortable around people with tattoos. No offense to tattoo lovers.

awee baby:

I dated a guy for 4yrs I thought he loved me dat much until one day I tried calling his number it was off,I then called his friend only for his friend to tell me dat my bf has left the country...I was heartbroken but as a gal that I am I didn't waste time to forget about the hurt and move on but I learnt alot of lessons and I promised myself never to allow my Luv to be greater than any guy's luv.He is back to 9ja and he is doin very fine he calls me all the time in order for us to hook up but I refused that I cant go back to him...only for me to find out dis week dat he got married last year and his wife just gave birth.guys re wicked

firestar:
(Hands inked nerd, ruudie and other bravehearts kerchiefs)
. . . I do hope y'all are stronger in its aftermath?
Picking up splinters is tricky business.

Acidosis: imagine voting in a president with tatoo all over his body.
Imagine yourself going for an interview, with tatoo labelled all over.
I believe its meant for hoodlums & also as a symbolic practice of hooliganism.
I despise that thing. Same with men that uses earrings

RuuDie: Damn!

Really had mad, deep feelings for a certain dame and she knew it. . . . .I am fairly certain she is attracted me too but for some reason, she just never seemed to be revealing much of herself to me as I was to her. I thought maybe it was a thing time and a bit of patience would overcome but I guess I was reading it all wrong.
Folks who knew her a great deal better than I cautioned that she was (as with most women of a certain age) on the look-out for settling into marriage and I probably didn't fit the bill. I didn't see it that way or she didn't give any such impressions - I guess I was giving her a great deal more regard than she deserved because a couple weeks back, I got word she'd be tying the knot. knocked the wind right out of my sail.
Its just crazy 'cuz I am in a position where I can do or say little - afterall, she never made any concrete promises. . . . .but damn it hurts!

I don't want to believe that in the bid to acquire that status of being a 'married woman', she's shunned true love and settled for the 'next best thing'. On the surface, thats what it appears. . .but I will never know for sure. I can only pray it isn't so, not because it hurts to be rejected this way but because that's how much I truly love her - I always wish and want the best for her; anywhere, anytime!

I could have sworn we had something good going and with a bit more time and room to grow, she would be my wife - maybe she didn't have that luxury! After the previous paragraph, I shed a few tears for the love I never had but that is always in my heart!

Idowuogbo:


Same here bubba!

But we berra dan dat, huh! woeva!

*Badosky flicks her wit an attitude*

OK2NVME: am actually very lonely, i need dat girl but truth is i dont want to go down dat road anymore. the chics i hav been wit since me and my ex split all had a serious or at least a quasi relationship goin. i know dey want my money, dey want my outings, dey want my body too (which chic wont) but its all fake. and do u know d worst thin when i was wit my ex 4 bout 3yrs i never cheated on her. so here is what i found no man can be totally okay 4 a woman. i hav been wit a gal afta my breakup who to was reelin frm hers. we used each oda on d condition dat it was only s@x. i remeber gettin home late wit her 4 weeks, drunk. she left me after she n boyfriend reconcilld. i heard early this year she is gettin married 2 her bf. i keep sayin d new modern cassonovas r 9ja chics. aslong as they cant comit why shuld i?

Idowuogbo:

Dis woman jus cloned my story,to guys waiting for Badosky's speech,read and digest this 1.


Cheers!!!