Oh, and I forgot to mention, the Kinky-Curly Curling Custard product that I used on my air is made from all natural ingredients. Vhe ingredients consist of: botanical infusion of water, horsetail, chamomile, nettle and marshmallow, organic aloe vera juice, agave nectar extract, tocopheryl acetate (vitamin e), pectic, citric acid, potassium sorbate and natural fragrance.
Ejadamen: Thanks for the links. I'll check them out tomorrow. A bit sleepy right now. My family? Hmm my dad will say nothing as usual. My mum will freak out,she's a fashonista so i shall prepare to receive many lectures . My sister will just keep shaking her head and blinking to check if she's seeing well
[quote author=George_D link=topic=542736.msg7217038#msg7217038 date=1290708954]if your main heavy meal is dinner i think your doing it on the reverse. dinner should generally be light enough for quick digestion while lunch should be heavy because you need more energy during the daytime.[/quote]Yupp, I agree with George_D. Phate07, dinner is supposed to be light not heavy. When you eat dinner at that point, your body is preparing itself for sleep so if you pile on food at night your only forcing your body to work over time to digest the food you've just eaten.
Ejadamen: Lol, I haven't measured the hair yet but with shrinkage as a factor it's kind of hard to. I've got a good afro going on. Right now, managing the hair is becoming an issue because the afro isn't o big yet but I'm content to just wash and go and ignore the stares I cannot wait for my family to see my hair. ROFL.
If your having trouble finding products, there a woman in Nigerian who is natural and she provided info and introduce products for natural hair women. She does natural hair workshops in Nigeria where she shows people how to care an maintain their hair. Here blog is called The Kinky Apothecary, here's the link to it >>> http://thekinkyapothecary..com/ and here's a link to the Facebook page >>> http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Kinky-Apothecary/120837131266405 and here's a link. Hehehe, I don't usually check out her page but every once in a while I take a look at it to see hoe the natural hair scene is in Naija.
How do you think your family will react when they see your natural hair?
spikedcylinder: Uniqlo, I always see the stores up and down. They have kewl stuff?
Yeah, they have tons of cool stuff. I ALWAYS shop there. I love their jeans the most. You should check it out. Their winter collection this year is great. I've been meaning to buy some new stuff from there. Some other stores I love are Brooklyn Circus, American Eagle, and Brooklyn Industries. They always have cute stuff in the winter.
Ejadamen: You may , I decided to go natural because I was tired of my hair and tired of relaxers. I noticed that I hated my hair when I relaxed it and loved it when it was "due". But I didn't know how to care for natural hair. Also my relaxed hair was so light and thin and generally not nice. One day on NL I stumbled on a thread Black hair does grow and read till my eyes popped out. I discovered hairlista.com through that thread and received education on natural hair. Also I saw pictures of women who are not mixed with long hair both natural and relaxed. I saw the hair journey of a lady on Youtube, longhairdontcare2011(i think) and was just amazed. So I chopped off my hair and it's been 5 months. I haven't gotten much talk from my family because they haven't seen me but I am getting strange looks from Enugu ladies I am loving my hair and waiting for when i can really style it.
Eh ya, I support you 110% . I bet you've got tons of growth. I'm actually lovin' my air so much I'm even thinkin' about not lettin' it stay short for a while. Hehehe, my best friend still hasn't seen me with my short air. I can't wait to show it to him. If you EVER feel like going back to the creamy crack aka relaxers, let us natural ladies know, we'll always be here to back you up . I know how hard it can be to when there's eternal factors pressuring you to go against what you know is right.
Ejadamen: I have heard of that too but not experienced it yet. I just get weird looks for now. I think the braiders feel they are being given more work to do with the natural hair. I won't stand for that nonsense when I am the one paying I was talking to a lady yesterday who just BC'ed. I think she did it for the look because the hair was relaxed and gelled down It looked nice but she kept asking when I would put relaxer on my hair and I said never again. She asked why but didn't even try to understand. She just looked at me like I was crazy and kept saying natural hair cannot be managed or taken care of or styled properly. I stopped wasting my breath. A lot of women do not believe that natural hair can grow or that it looks nice. Only the very spiritual like deeper life etc still carry natural hair. I cannot blame the women though,I was once that way. I'm determined to keep my hair natural.
It's sad, especially when you try to educate the person on ways to care for their hair and they're still not willing to learn. In fact, there are still some women who are natural but still possess the belief that natural hair is inferior. For example, my aunts and cousins. I swear, they are the epitome of western brain washing [when it comes to hair]. My mom for example, isn't a big fan of my natural hair even though she's natural as well. As a matter of fact, she tried REALLY hard to discourage me from doing the BC and even my father, although I love him, he is still very ignorant when it comes to things like hair. For example, Monday night he indirectly tried to imply that he thinks I might be a lesbian because I cut my hair really short [just goes to show you how deep rooted our beliefs are]. The only person in my family who seems to be very pro natural hair [besides me] is my sister. The funny thing about her is she has relaxed hair . Another thing that annoys me is when you show those sort of people examples of people with long healthy natural hair they tell you either the person put something in their hair, their "mixed", or that the hair isn't really isn't their own. I've been natural for years and I have no intention on going back to relaxers. I'd glad I wasn't one of those people that relaxed their hair consistently. At the most, I've relaxed my hair maybe 5- 6 times in my entire life. I was never able to get the hang of caring for relaxed hair . Ejadamen, if i may ask, why did you decide to go natural?
Ejadamen: I loosened my braids today and was amazed when I saw my hair It has grown so much in 3 weeks. It made me seriously consider re-braiding but it needs to rest for now and given TLC. A lot of women kept asking when I would use relaxer on my hair and I said no. They were shocked and couldn't understand why I said what I did. I didn't bother to explain. I can't wait to show them how beautiful natural hair can be when taken care of properly.
Omggggg, its funny that you mention that because I was reading a blog about the Nigerian perception of natural hair and is so sad how we've conditioned ourselves to believe that our hair is inferior >>> http://blackgirllonghair..com/2009/04/sunday-retrospectives-natural-not-hot.html . There's no much deep rooted disdain towards hair of people of color. Smmfh, it baffles me. No one seems to know how to care for natural hair anymore, we've truly lost ourselves . I used to look forward to getting my hair braided when I go home but with the horror stories I've heard other natural Nigerian women, its making me think twice about braiding my hair. I've heard of hair braiders purposely being rough with customers hairs because the customer refused to get a relaxer. If I ever do get my hair braided in Nigeria and receive that sort of treatment, I'll give the braider the tongue lashing of their life. For my sake, I hope my cousin will be in Naija the same time as me so I can avoid all of that nonsense.
madlady: That work looks . [b]That first link gave GREAT info.[/b]Thanks. That last site was interesting, that's the second time I've seen/heard black peeps hair type separated like that,the first was on this site also.
Some people hate the hair typing system and some love it. Personally, I don't really mind it. The only thing I can complain about is that some women use the hair typing system as a means of trying to say one hair type is better than another which isn't true at all [in my opinion]. All hair types are beautiful, its just a matter of giving the hair the proper care and love that it needs to be healthy.
madlady: @Gamine it looks great but, 30% argan. I'll check around and find out if I should try to source something with a higher percentage of argan. Visually it's right up my street.
Now the Shea Butter, the lady I buy it from is crash hot on getting the purest ingredients. I've mixed rosemary from my neighbours garden into the Shea Butter so it may look odd.
***Amended**** The lady who I buy the Shea Butter from say's she gets it from Ghana,she also said you can get it from www.baldwins.co.uk.
@Inked_Nerd sorry to be all over your great thread
lol, I thought that was the whole point of the thread. Anyone is free to hijack the thread and throw in their bit of info. Here's another place where you can buy shea butter >>> http://www.akuawood.co.uk/home.php?cat=3 . Hope you like it . Oh, by the way ladies, I recently tried a product Kinky-Curly Curling Custard on my hair. I've used it on my hair before when my hair was longer and it seemed ok. The first time I used it, my hair was semi-straight/curly/wavy due to some heat damage so when I'd use the products, I'd wonder how it would be if I had actually used it without all the various textures in my hair. Well, I must say it was quite nice when I used it and totally different from when I applied it to my hair when it was a mixture of textures due to the heat damage. My hair at the moment is in the TWA phase so as it gets longer, we'll see how it works on my hair. So far, it has really moistureized and defined my hair while at the same time givin it a nice soft hold. For those of you ladies in the UK who want to try/use some of the products some of us ladies here use, you can check out this British based website. It has tons of helpful info >>> http://www.britishcurlies.co.uk/store/categories/Kinky%252dCurly/ . Oh and by the way, sorry for the late responses, been busy with work .
MzDarkSkin: ANY black person who is an atheist should be DEEPLY and UTTERLY ASHAMED of themselves. Look at how much bullschit, injustice and humiliation black people the world over have suffered and yet we as a people still bounce back and are naturally resilient; if that is not soul I do not know what you call it. The bond that we have, the gift of song and compassion is truly and obviously the work of something divine. Look at the atrocities committed by and to us from ourselves and other races and yet we still live on and before you give thanks for the gift of life and surviving the dangers we face everyday, you all jump on this western band wagon. The air you breathe, the voice we call conscience, the water, the animals and life itself cannot be and is not man made, for man can only enhance and duplicate (which is ALWAYS flawed). Everything the human race has ever needed can be found here on Earth, from the materials that made the very computer/phone you log on here with to the foundation of your homes it is the gift of the Creator. God is real and I am not asking ANYONE that! I have been through SOOOOO much in my life, many of which were so devastating I confided in no one but instead when I felt weary and wanted to give up I prayed and was not only healed but able to get through it! I have been and am blessed abundantly!
The problem with humans is that we do not think for ourselves, but rather take for gospel the bulljive of some con man with a pulpit and a fancy suit who claims to speak the word of God. The TRUE word of God comes from within EACH individual, the true meaning of church is the human mind, our thoughts the congregation and the offering is our unconditional love for the Creator. We try to make God into a man, failing to remind ourselves he is far greater than we can ever be. When we ask for something we get upset and curse him when it does not come "fast enough" but when we are in danger or desperate that's when we pray and play the wishy washy role. Anything we have ever done wrong never goes unpunished so simply trying to kill your conscience by not believing won't help and anything we do not have, we do not need at the present moment so be thankful for what you do. You all say "Well I cannot see God so he must not be real!" or that "God is the product of man made myths". It does not get much more ridiculous than that. I mean you guys are no different than the religion fanatics. This evolution crap is also "word of mouth", you say there is evidence but when were YOU digging for these artifacts?
I blame the religious leaders for this cancerous spread of Atheism as they not only contradict what they preach but are too non-believers themselves who make a mockery out of those who are. How can you call yourself a preacher but demand that the congregation donate money to the "collection plate of God" in order to be his child? Which bank is God a member of for you to deposit this "offering"? And what about the Muslim Sultan who goes against the teaching of the Kuran and snorts cocaine, sleeps with love-peddlers and promotes the killing of non-believers which the Koran speaks against? or the Rastafarian "Jah-Man" who preaches the praising of Jah and ending influence of imperialism and promoting equal rights and justice but is quick to tell a woman what "her place is" and engages in politics not to mention quick to do as the bible preaches against which is to condemn someone who does not share their beliefs? or the Catholic priests who belong to a religion that not only funded/promoted the slave trade and persecution of the Natives of the Americas and pulls the strings of the C.I.A and U.N. but covers up homosexual practices which the bible clearly condemns? These people are the main reason for this garbage and all are supposed to be serving a loving and humble Creator but do not heed to his ways and expect to be taken seriously. Luckily I have not been led astray as atheists and religion fanatics alike are, and I still believe in the Creator. . .but not religion and definitely NOT evolution.
And I do not give a damn is this thread was for Atheists I am going to rant as I please lol.
Smh @ rant.
Idehn: I have not been compelled to comment in this section for weeks but this post has done it for me. Do you seriously think this? After all the suffering and humiliation the black race has endured, not a single "divine entity" was so much as bothered do anything about it. The black races high tolerance for suffering and injustice is not a virtue but a masochistic vice. Look around you. Nigeria is crumbling, and yet hundreds of millions troop into church suffering and smiling praying for change. That is not divine it is just sad. I am sick of black people in general and Nigerians in particular just "surviving". I want everyone to LIVE a full life not having to be thankful for just having enough to eat. If things are so pitiful that the only thing people have to be thankful for is not being dead than what does that say about black societies? Western band wagon? Do you realize that you are saying that in English(a western language), over the internet (founded in the west), utilizing a computer (invented in the West), powered by electricity(studied in the west) and you want to talk about "jumping on this western band wagon"? I am just saying.
P.S I apologize if I come off confrontational as I technically do not consider myself an atheist persè. However telling people that they out to be Ashamed of themselves indicates that you do not take the ideas they have thought seriously about well, seriously. This would be fine if you had not chosen comment about it. The fact that you did in this way is to me is just repugnant.
Well said.
trooperz: @Mzdarkskinlady is an Atheist (the highest degree)
LETS USE 'REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY'
WHAT IF AFRICA CONQUERED/ COLONIZED EUROPE? PERHAPS, THE WESTERN WORLD WOULD HAVE
PERHAPS, WE IMPOSED A NEW IDENTITY ON THEM. IMAGINE THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND NAMED "QUEEN CHIAMAKA OR QUEEN ABOSEDE OR QUEEN FOLASHADE,
QUEEN EKAETTE, QUEEN OFONIME.
As our people say, the difference between plantain chips and kpekere na packaging, These guys package the product well and the gullible Africans bought it at a premium.
Throughout history, superior cultures have conquered "inferior" ones and imposed their ideologies on them. How else can they remain control.
The British did it in Africa, they gave our ancestors (liquor) jack daniels , mirrors and gunpowder, it was a successful takeover. The Spanish brutally conquered
the Aztecs.
Our Ancestors were physically enslaved in cuffs and shackles. Enslavement in our time is psychological. Through "Emperor Jesus" .
For more information, please before you die in this lifetime, visit the British Museum. Oyinbo buru!
@OP: Since you said ladies are welcomed to answer, I'll answer them.
1. If you had 2 exact same looking girls in front of you, would you rather date the girl with straight hair or the one with natural hair and why?
I'm not exactly sure how to answer this one since he question is specifically for dudes.
2. How important is hair to overall attractiveness? Specifically, which styles (down vs. ponytail vs. bun vs. weave) and lengths?
I've been with guys with long hair and short hair so its not important to me just as long as it is clean.
3. Would you support your significant other if she decided to become natural?
Yes, as a matter of fact, there was a guy I was involved with for a while. . . At some point disclosed to me that he wanted to grow locs and I had no problem with it [I'm natural as well by the way].
4. If your significant other were to go natural, would the texture of her hair affect your opinions on whether she should remain natural or not?(tightly coiled afro vs. curly hanging down hair).
No, it doesn't matter how their hair texture is/was. I can't fault them for what grows out of their scalp.
5. Do you like or dislike when your significant other changes her hair style often (i.e. wigs, weaves, braids, flat ironed, wash & go)?
I could care less, its their hair, their body, their life.
6. Does the amount of time your significant other spends on her hair prove to be problematic? Ummm, no. Like I said, its their hair, their body, their life.
7. Do you think your companion should consider your opinion when making decisions about her hair? Why do you think women care about a man’s opinion when it relates to hair?
Yes, but in certain situations and to a certain extent. For example, if his hair smelled funky or if one particular style was detrimental to the overall health of their hair. If there was something wrong would be I would rather have someone who cared about me tell me than some random stranger.
8. How do you feel about satin sleeping bonnets or any type of hair scarf?
Although I don't wear them [I hate them] but if I'm with someone and they wanna maintain the health of their hair then they should wear it if that's what they wanna do.
9. Does it matter to you whether your significant others hair is relaxed or not?
Yes, men of color have hair issues as well. Its not just a thing for women of color. If I see a guy who relaxes their hair or has waves that aren't natural I would think that they suffer from the same issues that women of color suffer--feeling as although hair of color needs to be a particular texture in order to be considered nice. 10. Who is your favorite natural celebrity?
For female, my favorite natural hair celerity would probably have to be Shingai Shoniwa, Tomiko Fraser, or Wakeema Hollis. For male, I don't know [yet].
excoba101: Year right! We guys didn't noticed that we also have brea5t and we menstruate too. Since we all look the same there is no need calling one male and the other one female. Right? And no need to differentiate our clothing styles. They were all socially constructed, infact the looks of male and female were also socially manufactured.
You should try dressing like a guy too.
@Poster It is a sickness. An inclination to the spirit of the present system of devilish policies which permits her it in the name of let's try new things, let's be democratic etc. And even though within us we know it is wrong but as long as she likes it, then its OK.
It is also called the spirit of it was socially constructed
THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS HAS TURN HUMANS TO UNORGANIZED ANIMALS
There's no yeah right about it. Its not a matter of looking different or menstruation. If you haven't noticed, those are biological factors. How a person dressed is based on the social make up which they interact and encounter in their lives. If you had been raised in an environment were it is socially acceptable for man to wear a dress then it would have been the normal for you because within that society, that considered ok for a man. For example, within fafanini culture, fafnini men are men who are men who are raised as women since childhood. Their existence as fafanini men is solely based on the society their based on the societal roles of women which are perceived and socially structured and.
Yeah, madlady and iice are right. I tried looking for alternative to glycerin but I couldn't find any.
iice: [color=#9900ff]I think at the pharmacist like madlady suggested. I used to mix glycerin with my pomade.
@Inked Nerd. . .thanks for the recipes. Please 'em coming I think i'll try the shampoo for dry hair. Can i substitute the aloe gel with real aloe? I mean like just crush the plant? [/color]
Of course you can or you can open the plant and scrape the gel out of the aloe vera plant. Here's a video that demonstrates how to do it >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aworFkwYKs
Chubhie: To me i think being a tomboy gurl is annoying.i have a sis who wld dress like a guy,act like one,in fact will nt plait her hair dt it bcame annoying dt i have to tel her to shave it which she did gladly,she even walks like a guy 2!
What's wrong with her being a tomboy? Ya know the idea of acting and dressing like a boy is something that is socially constructed?
excoba101: [b]I have asked guys this question before and a lot of them have no problem with it. Just because you have a problem with it doesn't mean that every other man will. Just as my sentiments aren't a representation of all women, yours aren't a representation of all men.[/b]
Those guys are Bi curious Males (or have a tendency to be someday)and they are weak and confused too(as a result of many controversies and argument they they learn growing up- also might be having fantasies about women being so strong).
Your sentiments is that of the feminists.
excoba101: Could you please make a statement without directly insulting someone? Also can you read to understand? If yes, then read my statement again and you will understand that i said i do not cling to explain things with a religious mentality since i am not a religious man but a freethinker, probably like you are too.
When someone is angry he/she don't easily notice their faults until later or much later. I think you are angry and hate men(now that is what feminism has achieved after years of reforms in the newly born kids). Stop hating men and moderate your feminist outlooks. It isn't all real and achievable. otherwise it will get you crazy and you will do wonders. Cheers
So this is the mind of a "free thinker" eh? Because they don't see things the way do that makes them bi curious? Lmaaaaoooo. Even if they were bi curious, what does that have to do with anything? Your socially constructed views on men and woman is what is interferrin with you ability to sit here and make a valid point on this topic. Yes, my sentiments are that of a womanist. Since I have been on NL not once have I denied that I am a womanist. If me being a womanist and voicing my opinions and views bothers you then oh well.
excoba101: You are taking it personal. I didn't insulted you directly. I said fallen women (general) and it wasn't directed at you. And also saying you are brain washed is a way of explaining the stand you have taken in the wrong part of existence.
It is okay if you call men out on things that are wrong. It has always been that way since humans evolved, in fact men tend to listen to woman's advised and vise-vase but about certain things. We all have our limits in the scheme of things as male and female, it shouldn't become male vs female. Male for higher responsibilities. Behind every great man they say is a woman(what happened to women enjoying these praises) . Should it scraped or reversed? Just kidding I hereby Unsubscribe to further on this board
The idea of supporting your spouse or partner isn't wrong but why should I stand behind him? Why can't I stand beside him?
excoba101: Could you please make a statement without directly insulting someone? Also can you read to understand? If yes, then read my statement again and you will understand that i said i do not cling to explain things with a religious mentality since i am not a religious man but a freethinker, probably like you are too.
When someone is angry he/she don't easily notice their faults until later or much later. I think you are angry and hate men(now that is what feminism has achieved after years of reforms in the newly born kids). Stop hating men and moderate your feminist outlooks. It isn't all real and achievable. otherwise it will get you crazy and you will do wonders. Cheers
My dear, you should be the last person to be telling someone not to use insults on someone. Where you not the same person who referred to me as a "fallen woman" earlier? Was that not an insult? You telling me that I am brainwashed, was that not an insult? Don't sit here and tell me I've insulted you when you yourself has done the same thing. Because I speak my mind on my views on certain double standard issues within our society doesn't mean that I hate men. If you knew anything about me or have read my posts in other threads you'd notice that although I'm not afraid to call men out on things, I certainly don't possess any hatred towards men. Its not just men that I call out on double standard practices, so its not men that I hate, it. What I hate is the double standards that exist and the people who use that as a justification of their need to assert themselves and existence. Because I'm challenging you and your beliefs doesn't mean that I hate you. If you think or feel that I hate you or any other man because I refuse to keep quiet then good for you.
excoba101: LOL*** The last one was a bit funny. She is just over fed with craps of the feminist hoax. She will surely with time change or bear the consequences.
90% of things we see on the medias read and learn these day are perverted ways of the original concept. Most time when we discuss these kinda issue we readily refare to bible or quran, unfortunately we are not all religions people on earth, we also have free thinkers. It will only take a realistic conviction to make a freethinker to change his/her mind or God Himself.
I am a realist (60%) and also religious (40%). Since a realist like me isn't convinced with the accounts and examples giving in the oldest living record of human existence like the bible then i had to turn to nature for more consulltation.
I looked at animals and plants- The male are in control. Intestine. I looked at plants- the male stronger- interesting again. Now i know why the male rules and dominate (i know lady wouldn't like that word, and that is why i used it) over female.
Did i hear someone say, "but we are not animals"? - Where did you get the ideal from that we are not animals? the bible? Lets say we are not animal; whats makes us so? the answer is simple. It is because we are organized and have higher reasoning than animals. The very moments we alter those rules and regulation and start having freedom to do anything the way we want them, then we are not in that light better than animals.
These days we live and die for lies. SCAM! Feminism is a fraud. For Inked_Nerd. Read more here and see if there is difference between African style and western style concerning leadership; http://www.angryharry.com/esEqualityNotAchievable.htm (this is the way it is and can not be chanced just the way we can not bring back the dead or see God)
Lmaaaaaaaaoooooooooooo, ok o. Keep using religion as a means of justification for your beliefs. If that makes you feel good as a man then so be it. If feminism is a fraud then I suppose you're sheepish mentality is utter stupidity.
Yes, I am something else. Like my mother always said to me, "My dear, I've come to realize that your insanity isn't something that started recently. You've always been crazy, I just didn't realize it when you were young."
Idk, you just seem sort of distant and mysterious I guess. Still think I'm a "weak atheist"?
trooperz: MANKIND HAS ADVANCED.
MOSES DID'NT HAVE TO STRESS HIMSELF TO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
IN THIS NEW WORLD, GOD WOULD HAVE SENT IT BY E-MAIL
I'M ONLY ANTI-DOGMA.
Galileo Galilei was locked up by the Church because through reason and observation, he discovered that the Sun was fixed and other planetary bodies revolved round it.
His observation was a challenge to the infallible catholic doctrine "dogma" that other planetary bodies revolved round the "EARTH". Therefore he was locked up
and put under house arrest for life. In recent times, pope's have come out to apologise to the lineage and bloodline of Galilio Galilei for the "churchs mistake".
In fact the New pope Ben and his associates, have come with a new one. Guess what? They said, "Highly evolved extra terrestrial lifeforms may be living in space and would be welcomed into the church - "no matter how many tentacles", one of the Pope's astronomers has said. , Pope Benedict XVI's astronomer: the Catholic Church welcomes aliens, TRUST ME, NO CHRISTIAN DENOMINATION KNOWS MORE THAN THE PONTIFFFFFF,
harakiri: One more thing in response to this thread. . . i opened a topic both on nairaland and naijapals and it's directed at Christians of which till this day, NOT ONE SOUL has been able to provide a credible answer even after several months.Here's the link below :
jay bee: work is kinda hectic one of me staff is been on long term sickie so more work for moi. you shouldn't be a stranger still though. No excuse madam
Eh ya, pele .
Sagamite: Hey, babes, maybe you did not say it but your utterances come across as someone of that genre.
Let me give you an insight of the personality profile you have oozed to me since I noticed you when you refused to hate me for my own benefits :
You come across as a young African-originated girl raised in the West and who has strongly assimilated into the Western culture. The only thing African about you is your heritage and colour, not your outlook and personality.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that is bad or inferior.
I see you as someone in the sphere of creativity and the arts. This normally manifest as personalities with uber-liberal outlook and in desire of changes to the inhibitives at all cost without deep analytical consideration for wider consequences. Someone who wants to express their freedom as much as they can and this is one of the cores of happiness in their existence. The ability to live life uninhibited and unbridled.
Living where you live, you will not run out of enough fuel to pump and reinforce such outlook.
As I said, I would not say it is bad or inferior to the African way, but all ways have their pros and cons. And my judgement (maybe wrong) is that you are so impressed and enmeshed in the Western outlook with a lot of pride and defiance and with very limited rebuttal of the cons. I personally take pros from each side I am exposed to (West and African). On some things, I am very African and don't mind being called a Bushman, and on others, I am so Western they would say I have lost my roots.
The thing I particularly spot about you, unlike most other NL chics I have seen with such enmeshment, is that I don't think you are likely to change when you grow older. Most are just fronting and would change when they get a few knocks in life but you . . . . ?
Let me tell you here and now, Feminism has failed!!! You have to keep your ear to the ground and sense the atmosphere, there is a rising rubble of admittance even amongst women that it is not realistic, desirable and/or sustainable. That said, do not for a second think I am one to condemn the awareness, change and benefits feminism has achieved in bringing equality, independence and appreciation for women. I applaud it without reservation but the ideology that some feminists want to bring which refuses to acknowledge the difference between men and women I laugh at. The plenary implementation of that ideology would not make most women feel fulfilled or happy because of the rudimentary and fundamental difference in women's biological make-up and that is increasingly being acknowledged if one follows the intellectual debates in the news. My perception of you is you are one of the proponents of the plenary implementation.
I fear (maybe I need not worry though) that you are way too enmeshed in your line of liberal and extreme feminism which will lead to you having only a limited number of men that you can successfully be with. You will really have to select carefully as most men might not appreciate what you currently offer, and which I suspect will be your main offer in the future, even though they might tell you they do or don't care or they like it.
I know you might say "I don't need a man, I am happy being single" and I believe you, you are young and still in your prime. BUT as you get older, that statement will be less true. But, hey, maybe you are also right and telling the truth, but that will make you one of the very rare exceptions of women (I admit some do exist) because biologically, women do desire and seek meaningful companionship. That is their general biological make-up. I say general because there is usually an exception to a general rule, maybe you are that.
That said, considering the line of argument of excoba101 so far, you must be retarded as a woman if you want to be with him. I am in no way advocating you switch to the other extreme.
Look, if I didn't say it directly then don't assume anything. And why would you want me to hate you? Are talking about that thing we discussed about having sex with someone you hate? Lmao, so you think you know me so well eh? Your write up was interesting. . . And amusing. I'll be sure to show this to my dad so I can see he what he thinks about your analysis of me. I value his opinion so if should be assuming see how he analyzes your analysis. And by the way, "needing a man" and companionship aren't the same thing. When I mentioned the whole "need a man" thing, I was referring to how we as a society have this notion that no matter how successful a woman is in life, if she doesn't have the "total package" i.e. a husband and kids, then she either isn't really a woman or isn't really successful is in life. We all know that African culture looks down on such women. I'm not saying that I don't want a man in my life but what I'm saying is that its not the end of the world if I don't have someone by my side.
chaircover: I am going to tell you the truth in that marriage is indeed a union but it is never an exact 50:50 exact split.
Nairaland to a certain degree is a snapshot of the Nigerian way of thinking and you will see from the topics here certainly in the romance and family section that it is not always” what a man can do a woman can do better” when it comes to matters of the heart.
Besides if you refuse to take your husbands name, have you thought about what his side of the family will feel. In our part of the world in-laws are forces to be reckoned with, whether we like it or not and they do have their advantages and disadvantages.
I am a woman and I will mind if my kid brother leaves his name and starts bearing Mr Funke etc even if he doesn’t mind, most especially if he is an only son.
BTW what will the kids surname be? Also can you be a Mrs (my maiden name?) does that mean you will completely knock out the Mrs and just carry on bearing the Miss? Just questions that crossed my mind.
If you want an answer to the surname of the child then take a look at my answer to jaybee. As for whether or not I would answer "Ms" or "Mrs", I would answer "Mrs". "Mrs" is an old English word used to identify and unmarried women and "Mrs" is used as a form of address for a married woman so I would "Mrs" rather than "Ms" if[b]/[/b]when I am married.
lol, I will. So far it been interesting. I noticed I seem to really love my hair at night right before I go to bed. This my sound a bit odd but each night before I go to bed, I take a good look at myself and appreciate what I've been born with .
Ejadamen: How? Did it destroy your edges? I braid my hair twice a year. Can't stand more than that.
@ Inked,by the time you braid you'll miss your hair. A change in looks is always worth the stress though.
lol, when I said braid I meant braid with my own hair. I don't like to use extensions when I braid my hair.
Ejadamen: Four months! What kind of braids was that? The longest I have had braids on is a month and a half and only because I was lazy to loosen it. This one might be the shortest,i hope i get to carry it for 3 weeks. The hair don tire me.
lol, when I used to wear braids, sometimes I'd keep them in for four months.
Mine are small, and I like 'em that way. Because of that I can always fit into the samples sizes in the boutiques that I shop at meanwhile all the other girls in the store with bigger b.reasts are fuming because they can't fit the samples sizes are find a dress in their sized because of their b.reasts. No offense to the larger b.reasted women.
Fashion › Re: The Natural Mixtress--Natural Remedies And Solutions by InkedNerd(op): 6:44pm On Nov 26, 2010
. I know how hard it can be to when there's eternal factors pressuring you to go against what you know is right.
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. My sister will just keep shaking her head and blinking to check if she's seeing well 
, I decided to go natural because I was tired of my hair and tired of relaxers. I noticed that I hated my hair when I relaxed it and loved it when it was "due". But I didn't know how to care for natural hair. Also my relaxed hair was so light and thin and generally not nice. One day on NL I stumbled on a thread Black hair does grow and read till my eyes popped out. I discovered hairlista.com through that thread and received education on natural hair. Also I saw pictures of women who are not mixed with long hair both natural and relaxed. I saw the hair journey of a lady on Youtube, longhairdontcare2011(i think) and was just amazed. So I chopped off my hair and it's been 5 months. I haven't gotten much talk from my family because they haven't seen me but I am getting strange looks from Enugu ladies 
I was talking to a lady yesterday who just BC'ed. I think she did it for the look because the hair was relaxed and gelled down 
It looked nice but she kept asking when I would put relaxer on my hair and I said never again. She asked why but didn't even try to understand. She just looked at me like I was crazy and kept saying natural hair cannot be managed or taken care of or styled properly. I stopped wasting my breath. A lot of women do not believe that natural hair can grow or that it looks nice. Only the very spiritual like deeper life etc still carry natural hair. I cannot blame the women though,I was once that way. I'm determined to keep my hair natural.
