₦airaland Forum

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Or convince him to take your name [/color]

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Yeah i could do that, but i'm too lazy to wait for it to melt in water.  And i mix my shampoo with water.  When you make these conditioners, how long does it last?  I mean do you make them in batches meant for one usage or something that can last a week?  Hehehe my hair used to be very dry as a kid. . .over sometime it became better.  But i have to condition it because unless my hair is braided, i wash my hair everyday so conditioning is must because without it, my hair is dry and will be hard for me to comb or tame, considering i don't have short hair.  [/color]

mutter:
mai suya. My name identifies me, my Kingship. My roots. My husband as much as I love him is not going to be a part of my roots.
Anyway he also did not see the sense in it. That has nothing to do with togetherness.
I want to think that this adapting of  husband?`s surname has nothing to do with Nigerian tradition. This Surname issue is a colonial introduction. It is also not stipulated in most religions.

denzel2009:
Whats the point of getting married if you still intend to be miss kunta kinte?

I think its disrespectful to the man.

Siena:
Inky, take it easy! No one's asking you to change your name, or hyphenate. Never heard you sounding so worked up.

hackney:
We can all now see how useless our ministers are.
She is worried about slangs while erosion is carrying away her illiterate village in darkness.

Happily, the active upcoming generation of naija are not foolish.
We know when foolish looters are wasting everybody's time and we want to do away with
them all; permanently.

Blazay:
See what happens when a man tries to help find solutions to problems?
You girls do not hear word.
If you were my wives, I would have battered all of you for stubbornes in dealing with thiis topic.
All you women on this thread need to be flogged.

I now see why some of you are battered.
Discussing with you made me start drinking again.
Thank God I am not married to any of you.

mystikal:
The highlighted was me trying 2 explain a point, not labelling all non believers as such. My bad if that came out wrong. The Emphasis was on leading by example.

Outstrip:
Wow. Just crazy. I cannot even speak. The sad part is that the excuse we keep hearing is that the woman might not have the money. Why can't the man be made to pay for the lawyers fees. I think we should have matured past the age of "well there is nothing that can be done" in Nigeria. Lawyers need to be educated and not just the victims. It seems to me that the average lawyer in Nigeria is just simply interested in bearing the name Barrister. Nigeria is just so out of touch with reality. Imagine policemen standing by while a man kicks his wife. E no go ever better for them. I am so pissed right now. I will never give up my fight for justice for Nigerian women even the ones that do not want to help themselves because of the backlash. I cannot even begin to mention the cases of abuse I have heard from Nigerian women. In the US a man that commits such an abuse will even be given a psychiatric evaluation because people just see something so brutal and a sociopathic or psychopathic thing. In Nigeria they just say he "beat his wife". Like damn. This is a national shame.

mutter:
It is very difficult in Nigeria. Reporting a case to the police is not going to secure you anything. In this case the one with more influence and money goes out the winner. As a woman you can take a case to the police and if care is not taken the police will ridicule you. The only reason they are picking up the man is to make some money.
I recollect once I had my ex was real mad, he stopped the care to hit me, in this residential area. I got out of the care and started running away, yelled at these two police men to get me back. The ran after me and dragged me on the ground back. My husband kept punching and kicking me with his boots. It was am old guard who came and saved me. He put himself in front of me and asked my husband to kill him, he was an old man. That was when my husband drove away. Leaving me in front of a crowd without shoes . The police knew I was his wife but they didn`t care.
You also have to remember that most battered wife's are not financially independent. The cannot afford a lawyer . Justice is money.
That is why I see the real solution in organisations, to speak up for these women and protect them.
Blazay educated women too are affected, I think you are maybe not very informed on this topic.
And why should a woman fleeing not seek for a divorce
and does every woman have the chance to flee out of the country.
And my final question. D you think women are asses. Which woman would not do all she can to avoid such marriages.
The greatest enemy such women have are not the violent husbands but the society that tolerates it. That puts the blame on the woman.
After all I went through with my ex, as soon as I left a few of my friends went back to him , telling him things like they had advised me to stay and be patient. Some went as far as speaking bad about me. All they wanted was favours and connections.
Years later I still do not have the answer to the question why?. THe funny thing is neither does he. He does not even want to speak about it, claims that it was the work of the good old devil.

mystikal:
Its best you dont tell your parents yet, they might just be crushed, especially too, given that you are the same guy that plans to reinvent fraternities in Nigerian Universities. They might be puzzled at your preferences, wondering what America did to you.

Onto this Atheist ~ Religion Matter, There's a thing Religion has been doing for centuries, that I don't think it should do any longer. Like the Church 4 example, when you go like this:

"Jesus is the son of God."

"How do I know that?"

"Because if you don't know that, then you will burn in Hell for eternity."

No. It won't work. If you want people to live their life in a certain way, based on a certain fact, you can't substitute a threat for evidence. You have to lead by example

Atheists, same thing. you want to show me that atheism is the key to a balanced n satisfyin life? Show me. U don't show up in a room full of Christians and start making fun of their taboos, immediately talking about bosoms, f**king 3 gals today, stealing from someone or whatever, as if the only reason people adhere to a rule is out of fear of experiencing the awesomeness of breaking it. You've got taboos, too. All of you. Things you don't like to see or hear in polite conversation and everyday life.

madlady:
^^

Thank you that was helpful. We all do what you do, we braid/plait/twist when the hair's wet, we find it hard to manage if we don't.


One thing, I dont like to rinse with hot water or to rinse too often, I think it strips the hair of it's natural moisture.

I use any so called baby shampoo, i hope it's not too harsh .

Thanks.

The only natural product I use on my hair is advocado, i put it on the hair not on the root. I leave it on for about 30mins whilst i soak in the bath.

SA Goddess:
You are right Maddy, our hair is easily managed when still wet. . . . .I really don't think baby shampoo is too harsh though, remember it is made for babies so it must be gentle.

Personally I am hot yet at the "all natural stage", maybe this thread will make me consider as I get more information and eventually take the plunge into the "natural" world 

iice:
[color=#9900ff]I don't think i can use soap on my hair.  I wash with shampoo and condition afterwards. [/color]

Ndipe:
It's perfectly understandable for your mom to walk you down the aisle if your father was out of the picture. background. My own is that so long as both parents are married to each other and live together, then having your mother ALONE would raise eyebrows, because it's usually a role reserved for the father of the bride.

MzWumi:
My mother walked me down the aisle on my wedding day. Everyone's mouth dropped as if Jesus decended from heaven and was walking behind us. I don't understand what the big deal is about this old tradition!!!

Blazay:
I did not put the blame on the woman. I only stated she should find out why. A mental problem should be addressed. There can be domestic abuse without pychoses as we find in African men with cultural and religious norms where it is ok to hit their wives. The reason I said women should find out why then go from there. Please, learn to interprete what you read.

But come to think of it, most of the women who complain the loudest are to blame for sure. The reason being that MOST of you were battered girlfriends before you became batttered wives. Expecting things to change after desperately chanting "I do" or allowing yourselves to get knocked up by a serial domestic abuser whose father did the same things to his mothers and her co-wives.

You marry drunks and drug-addicts then turn around and complain the men in your lives are abusive. Can't have it both ways.

iyeyemi:
http://www.krages.com/ThePhotographersRight.pdf

manny4life:
No doubt the fstranger is showing his pervasion to the highest order.  Same reason why it's not advisable to post your pics on public sites like Nairaland because the likes of fstranger would be there to jo off it.

ebere1712:
Men from the arguments I am seeing from Nigerians who somehow seem to support the police. I feel like crying because it has dawned to me that with these people and there mode of thought, we can never do away with the insecurity perpetuated by the so called NPF that is supposed to protect us. I weep for my country. And those that are saying that he did it because he was americana. WTF, get a life guys. He is Nigerian the last time I checked. The police is a public figure and I see no reason why you can photograph them. If they dont want it let them get out of the police force. They brought it upon themselves by being so openly corrupt. Look at some people trying to paint the police as some kind of professional body. In Aba, U see them set up road blocks and estort in the full gaze of the public. If someone still thinks that taking pictures of such creatures is criminal, then I weep for mama Africa and cant wait for the day that I wud be absolved from anything to do with that jungle and its happy inhabitants. God bless y'all Naija and shine your eyes.

armyofone:
big deal, 

why cant lady walk herself  
i like that walking alone slow dancing to the music instead of someone matching my dress and dragging my overcrowded hand.

fstranger:
Hehehehehehehe, you also want to tap that "bod," I am down for a three-some, if you don't mind. And Yes, she looks like an escort! I pim*p people out all the time and if she wants a job, I'd hire her in a heart beat. Good body, supple lips, knows how to create a thread, thunder thighs, and above all, she is a drama queen, what more can a "John" ask for?

manny4life:
Let's see your six pack first to know if you're a match before talking about a 3some, this ain't no sex site. All a john can ask for is good body like she said not monkey one,  

tensor777:
You are just being obnoxious. You think playing the LovePeddler doesn't have severe negative consequences on the body. She looks like a model or athlete as a matter of fact.

ishit4body:
Many of you can not even put your picture up on NairaLand, yet you shout how right it is for people to go out snapping everyone they see with their camera phone. Or why havent you put up your pictures in the public domain? You freaking ugly or you look like a monkey?

fstranger:
You look like an escort. I like you!

madlady:
^^^^^^^^
GREAT.

Black soap I've heard loads about it. How many times do you rinse?

When you grow your hair long, do you use a dryer? do you plait or twist your hair whilst it's wet? and do you ever use a heat cap. I do the last 2 but, I've been told you should not stress black peoples hair whilst wet, it's supposedly at it's weakest at this time. Your take on this please

oyb:
i believe we all know exactly what happened - the police challenged him when they saw him snapping them - rather than behave like the docile , whipped dog they expect Nigerian civilians to be , he refused to back down- hence this battery of ridiculous charges

how many so called armed robbers paraded by the police are actually armed robbers ?

i am just shaking my head at the people excusing this behavior of the police - NO ONE  can claim that they, or someone close to them has not been a victim of made up charges by these idiots

once when i was  carrying a laptop without a receipt, i was accosted by this policewoman. i took my time in giving her my id card, and the net thing, the biatch pulled out a statement for me to sign. i was lucky i was able to call some oga.

her rage at my escape was evident. who knows what she would have tried to make me sign.

and we have some daft people blathering about assault and battery, as if they are from some twilight zone and not nigeria  

Omenani:
The black diaspora is very vast. Some people do not know that blacks were taken to Mexico, but they can be found in the Vera Cruz area and along the Mexican coast in large numbers. There is actually quite a large number of blacks in Colombia. 4 million to be exact, yet people do not discuss that. I remember I was dumbfounded when a girl in my course told everyone around us that she was from Colombia. We were all amazed, because we never knew blacks existed in Colombia.

What is even more amazing is that people do not discuss the Arab slave trade either. You have Black African communities in Turkey, Iraq and even in in India and Pakistan.

Slavery was very extensive and Africa is the only continent that seen the greatest amount of forced migration in human history.

manny4life:
Talking about tourist, Nigeria is just a turning something else, from the airports right down to the police on the street, silly set of people everywhere. I see no reason why tourist should ever visit Nigeria, someone snapping random photos is a crime punishable by law, yet you come to DC and snap random picture of Federal Govt building in N.W. areas, even the White House, yet you don't see Secret Service filing a criminal charge against you, effing bullshit.

What he did was absolutely wrong but bring criminal charges against him by using a freaking law that is less adherent and explanatory is nothing but absurd. From the prosecutor to the police people all need to get a life and soon.

marabout:
I guess after the brutality of the military for decades, we have come to accept that we have no rights. Babangida you no go find rest.

Was there a warning sign not to take pictures in the area as a security zone?
Does a citizen not have the right to take common pictures just because two policemen happen to be in the area?

In many countries, policemen pose with people for pictures. Obviously Nigeria is centuries away from being a tourist country.

My dear, nothing anybody says here can discredit the police more than  N20, wetin you carry, extra-judicial killing (remember APO SIX?),
street fighting like thugs, hiring guns to armed robbers, rigging elections for polilooters to name but a few.

They do a pretty good job discrediting themselves thank you very much.