₦airaland Forum

NotSidestory:
So this girl that I love is getting married to someone else and I have not being my self since then. The thing that is hurting deeply is me imagining the person that will take her that means the (husband). Like having s*x with her not me . This days even focusing on my job is hard as I keep thinking that ,it is not possible to find someone like her.

I can't take it anymore.i did everything to forget about her but I can't. I feel like this is the end of my life. I sleep lately smoking just because of her but no any positive result. 😢

Pls what advice and motivation will you give me.

I don't respond to stuff like this any more. But for your sanity sake let me do. From what i can see in your write you are only concerned about the sex. The fact your mind points to that sex aspect clearly shows you are lust over the girl. Lust is not love. that sex you are craving and fantasizing there is every possibility if she gives you, you won't love her again by then your eyes will now be open to certain aspect of here yoi could not notice. Now back to the point of marriage , marriage is not sex. thou its a minor part of it but the bulk load of it balls down to financial responsibility , emotional maturity cos its not for children cos in one of your response you just said you are still young amd i can sense that financial stability is not there. Go and get yourself busy
go make money, go solve problems women will be the one coming after you. Drinking, partying might not work for all, get busy with something. delete her contact for now may be later in this future when you have let go and not worried again you can resave it. The fact she said yes to another guy/man clearly shows she does not love you. so think well before you go harm yourself

jguy007:
It’s been said that sometimes life has to completely fall apart before you can start rebuilding it. I never understood what that meant until it happened to me.

After everything — losing jobs, facing arrests, disappointing everyone who ever believed in me — I thought I had seen the worst of myself. But nothing prepared me for the day my wife looked me in the eyes and said, “I can’t do this anymore.”

She wasn’t angry that day. She was tired. Tired of the lies, tired of watching me promise change that never came, tired of living in fear that one day she’d wake up to another disaster. That look in her eyes haunted me for weeks — it wasn’t hatred; it was resignation.

When she finally packed her things and left with our baby, I didn’t even stop her. I just sat there — empty, speechless, and broken. That was two weeks ago. Since then, the silence has been deafening. No calls, no texts, no messages. Just me, alone with my thoughts and regrets.

For the first time, I realized gambling didn’t just destroy my finances or career — it destroyed me. It turned me into someone I couldn’t recognize anymore. I was living like a ghost, chasing wins that never came, trading love and trust for a fleeting rush of excitement.

Now, I wake up every day asking myself one question: “Is this how I want my story to end?”
And honestly, I don’t. Not anymore.

My boss offered to help — to take me to a rehab center if I was truly ready to change. For once, I didn’t make excuses. I told him yes. Because deep down, I know that if I don’t stop now, I might never stop.

I’m scared. But I’m ready.
Ready to face myself.
Ready to learn to live again — without gambling, without lies, without shame.

This is where my real fight begins.
Part 5 — The Road to Recovery: My First Day at Rehab
(Coming soon — follow the thread to stay updated.)

Never wanted to make a comment here on nairaland. Question for you : As a married man with children waitin carry you go play bet beyond what you can afford to lose. Also why are you chasing your loses ? if this is true, now your wife don leave you. not be because of cheating but because of gambling. and your boss at work now even involved to the extent that he is recommending a rehab centre. Haba.. the level is strong. my own opinion. if you love your wife and she is trust worthy, let her control your bank account . and when ever you need money, you have to explain to her why you need the money and what you want to do with it. if she is not trust worthy , then i will recommend you go close all your betting account . or use self exclusion for a 10 to 15 years duration. block your atm card, if you cant block the atm, scratch of the 14 digits number, and delete the card from all linked betting account. close your opay, the list is endless . so for the one thats beset for you. don't visit any betting shop. in short see a betting shop as something disgusting. if you have friends who alway discuss betting and odds, limit conversations with them in that area. whenever they want to talk about it, run or put your headset and start listening to music ..

I hope you see this simple comment: Rule number one don't date a woman at your work place: You can already see now that even your boss wants her to create time for him by coming to his place during the weekend. Week end she is supposed to be with you. I can see from your write up. Let me tell you the truth, dating a woman at your work place is not it at all. It will affect your productivity.

Phoenix990:
I want a revenge she wasted my precious time for nothing with her too much lies and manipulations

share your full story lets see if it deserve a revenge or not.

an eye opener for you. Go and explore other options

your cousine is on his way to destruction. forget about that 30k, but confront him. If possible sieze his phone. this is 2025, you have to be very brave. Don't allow anyone to eat what belongs to you.

nothing shocking here at all. It could be possible the chicken that laid the egg swallowed the iron ball during one of its meal. Ask youself same question, how did Sand enter the gizzard of a chicken

Moniker947:
I'm suffering a lot. I can no longer think straight because of so many issues and challenges confronting me. I'm mentally, socially, physically, psychologically and physiologically affected. I'm scared of sharing my plight with people. Aside my kid siblings, I don't have anybody I can trust to confide in. My siblings are too young to understand or help out. Also, I didn't grow up with my siblings, we live apart, so the bond, cohesion and chemistry is almost non-existent. I'm only trying to form that bond now since I'm the firstborn.
I was raised in toxic and hostile environments, and I went through lots of dehumanizing treatment from relatives, I was hated and treated like a slave and outcast. As a result, I find it hard relating with people even at this age. My advice to parents on nairaland is to never allow their kids stay with relatives except on a brief visit. No matter how poor you are, manage the little you have with your children until they become adults and can stand for themselves. Don't just release them to anybody to help you train. The way a child is raised and groomed from childhood goes a long to determine how he acts when he becomes an adult. If you're raised in a hostile home where u can't express yourself as a child due to maltreatment, you end up becoming timid later as an adult. I believe many of us can relate to what I'm saying. I'm a victim of this, and I know how it hurts. Thankfully, I'm gradually coming out of my shell.
We must learn to prioritize our mental health. Mental Health is even more critical and crucial than the physical health. Most times, I'm sad due to overwhelming challenges. It's even much worse when you can't speak out. Those of you who have families you can speak to, you are Lucky and blessed.
I'll soon be thrown out of my apartment when my rent expires. The thought of this alone can torment and cause me depression. My hope is on God. I'll continue to work hard and pray God blesses the works of my hands.

I understand your position. those who have been there can relate also. You have to be strong. If your parents are still alive, get in touch with them.

taking his own life was not the solution to the problem. He could have walked away. Talk to people around, seek for advice. Even the state he was, was even a difficult state already.
Men should be braze. taking your own life will not change the mind of an individual who decided not to do the needful when he ought. Of a truth, he lost the battle.

Federal Government or what ever it is called, just hooked itself on the hook, because massive crowds will be at various Mtn , GLO , AIR Offices Nation Wide and the Protest will start from those crowds at those offices

they slash or not, come that we are all trooping out , they will hear it out that day. Unlike the first one that yielded no result, what happened in Kenya is just small. Nigeria Politicians will hear it hot this time around.

I don first talk say I nor go dey comment on relationship issues. So na the money way you Wan give her make you post this? So you can not give woman money to fix her hair?

YourBestWriter:
So finally, I found a job, a job of 100k salary after ten years of unemployment/underemployment. However, I still have that feeling that perhaps it is not enough. I mean, I should have negotiated higher salary for a quality control officer.

Do you think I am still underemployed? Or am I just being greedy?

10 years thou. Its long. But for a starter like you it's OK. Learn and build yourself up the ladder. Some of started with lesser figures, and climbed the ladder..

Joevics:
Do you have a place?

Referal

Joevics:
A friend is looking for female with an apartment in Ikeja to accommodate her. She works around Ikeja and just wants somewhere to stay during working days. She can pay up to 15,000

Bbb

H

He

Duelee:
Lol. You're funny. You don't even know your own history.

Do you know the set of Nigerian people that I had in mind when I made that first comment? South South. So called Niger Delta.

The name's "ODI" in your own Bayelsa.

Do you know what the Nigerian military did days later there ? They leveled everything and at the end way more than 500 people where massacred by the Nigerian military. Just because 12 policemen were killed. Days later would see The Nigerian Army launching total offensive on that community. To this day the community isn't all that great. Since 1999

Do you know Obigbo? In Rivers State.

In the annals of Nigerian history apart from Biafra war, the south south people has seriously been dealt with by the Nigerian military.

Go read your history Brr.

The army should channel their energy to the North. they should leave our people alone. When did army start settling land dispute. Apart from that, who called them into community matter. LEAVE COMMUNITY MATTER FOR COMMUNITY TO SETTLE.

Duelee:
On seeing this news, I speedily ran to the dusty shelves of history books in a local Nigerian library, what I sadly realised is that said community has murdered sleep. Sizeable numbers of their youths would die young. Her waters gonna redden and flow with blood.

Mothers would look for husbands only to discover his half barbecued body.

Because they ticked all boxes. Top most of the box is that they're southerns.

On the other hand, present crop of Nigerian armed forces are cowards in face of equally AK 47 gun carrying men. And super soldiers when they meet harmless civilians.

Nothing will happen. This is not East. If the Military Mess with the Niger Deltans, the Military will chop wotowoto just like they have received now.. Don't play. The Riverine Youth are not afraid.

senior military men are involved in this. all the senior military men in that zone should be investigated

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edimina:
I would have loved to make an intro of this post based on what people have had to say severally about bringing your wife to abroad, most especially the ones you knew must have been messing up in ways that one cant curb in Nigeria talkless of being abroad. This is a summary of whats going on with me now. So I arranged for us to move with student visa, shes the main applicant and myself and the 3 children are dependent. Its been a year and the half here now, and just 6 months into entering this country, my eye dun see shege from this woman. One thing I can actually hail and praise her for though is her delegence in taking care of the house, cook and all that. But I do my own bit too cos when shes out for work, I cook for the kids, I clean once in a while too and do what I can.

So after graduation, we got a sponsorship work VISA via the care home shes working for, though while she was a student, she was working in a daycare which was filled with white people, she always complained about how she could not cope with the white people’s culture and how she cant contribute their gist, so she was really happy that she had moved to this new place where she had met some Nigerians.

Now this is where the wahala is, she has 3 prominent friends there, 2 males and a female. So I noticed she picks up these dudes at home to work, pick the girl and do the same, then to make it worse, she will go ahead and still go drop them at home, when me dun dey house after work after taking care of the kids make I comot with car, she go come late and all that. Overtime this ish continued, so I told her one day, bae I don’t think it’s a good idea going to pick and drop this people all the time, because for the lady, her husband normally come around to pick her up and drop her off, but since them don see mugu, the guy totally stopped, so it became my madams task to run everytime they are on shift together. When I had this discussion with her, she complained that they are just friends that she may get the same help from later on, I was like am not saying you should not help, but don’t take it upon urself to be doing this all the time. All said and done she never listended to me and the deed continued to an extent that the husband of the lady had only given her money once, and maybe once from one of those guys and na me and am dey combine money to buy fuel. So it got a level where she begin dey carry food from house go give those guys, not all the time but sometimes. So yesterday jollof wey she cook, I was going to microwave in the morning to eat, I found out it was gone, I called to ask where the food was, she boldy told me that she had taken to her two male friends who told her they were hungry, I was now like why would u priortorize outsiders over your family, she sha change am sey sebi they too bring food that she eats blab la bla. And to even say that one of these dude is the one I created this thread about: the level of disrespect is unimaginable. Funny this is, after creating that above thread, a week after serious confrontation she had a feud with the guy and they stopped talking to each other, in which the guy stopped working at the place, but few days ago I got in from work and I saw that she was on call (speaker on) with this same guy, talking freely and giving me a no Give a F attitude, because I thought the only way she could have at least show me that she was remorseful was to cut permanent ties with that guy, but hell no. After her convo with the guy, she came to meet me that she hope that am not angry about her calling and talking to the guy, I was like its none of my biz, that I had important things to think about, in which it was indirect statement that I thought she would understand, omo from that day like this them dun start their friendship again,, to an extent I felt disrespected, disregarded and I started feeling theres more to what I have been thinking before. That aside, the other guy too, I noticed that one talks to her anyhow, though in a playful way. One day she came back from work and started complaining that the people that shes helping that they aren’t appreciating her, the started with the lady, that her husband does not even care again, only sent her money for fuel once, but the one that is hurting her most if the fact that this other dude that talks to her anyhow tried to implicate her at work, saying that he started yelling at her at the dinning where the old people are, that why haven’t u fed this woman, don’t u have grandma in the house, that he went as far as reporting her to one of the oldies that didn’t gave dementia that could have easily reported her to her manager which can out her work in jeopardy. I was like so have u served his sanction of not dropping and picking him again? She was like no oo, this happened last week, that shes still dropping him, I was like wow! She was like the reason is because the guy had come to prostrate to beg her, I was like how old is this dude, she said 26, and shes 36, omo I was in awe. Before any starts saying am not man enough, am a simp or weak, omo this country na were oo, he dey change SOME women. On a final note I have given her a mandate that she should stop picking or dropping anybody off at their respective homes, infact she should tell them that its my husband that said so. Story continues on the other new thread

dey try summarise your story.. And go straight to the point..

Tuvic007:
Please can you unlock MTN Hynetflex Router MF286

.. ya , how do i reach you

Mimicle101:
Guys please i would like to know which bank is the best i can open and operate from outside Nigeria.

i want my sister to open a Nigerian bank account on her name for me

and is there any way she can maybe open these account on my own name for me. please i need advice as am not in Nigeria

very possible, open Gtb or FBN, ask her which one she have before. and what's her experience using the bank over the years.

Animegirl:
So, there's a man who wants me to be his wife. Honestly, he possesses the qualities of a good husband, but I can't deny that I don't find him attractive. Despite my efforts, I can't seem to develop feelings for him. Seeing his face makes me angry, even though he treats me well and spends generously. His height and face are a deal-breaker for me. If I accept his proposal, I know it will cause pain, but no matter how rude I've been, he won't let go. I'm considering running away from my community altogether. I don't want him to know my parents; otherwise, I'm done.

come to dadddy. don't do what will not bring happyness to you. you deserve something good

The most useless club in 2023, cost me a whopping losses, just them. Only
Mother fucking clubing

I saved my life. The expenses were too much, transportation, internet subscription, feeding, utility bills, families and many more. I was able to save my life. Thank God I am alive and not buried. We try again in 2024.

You see all these red flags and you are still asking the whole world for their opinions. Marry her at your own risk

Goalty01:
I'm in need of a Payapal vendor to help me make a payment of $10

available, mode of contact

How to go about it. Don't interfere, do your job. Do whatever she ask you to do since she is your superior. Don't share personal information or devulge any information about your self and character to them. Just do your work and go home.