So sorry madam!
My condolences..

Question is 80k a month,dont know why people are conjuring imaginary salary for the wife.
If she's not working nko?
Can someone draw up like living expenses say in a cheap state vs high end state?

F117AA:
Keep sleeping with young players.
You are just a MILF to them.
Very soon the video of your sexual excapades will get viral.
There are many videos of married nigerian women being hammered to smithereens by players online nowadays.

Don't get twisted.Who De find love?I'm a Milf??All the better.S ex is just a transaction for mutual pleasure.That's all it is..
Na so.viral video my a ss.Is this one supposed to scare me??
Abeg,realise that some people know exactly what they want,how and where they want it.
Chop and move on.

Chaiiii so many pained souls here
I wonder why when a married woman has se x its refered to as desecration of body??
Its just s ex,mutual satisfaction,back breaking and mind numbing orga sms.
Chances that most of these women are hitting the big O with their hubbies are very low..after all he's busy with mistresses, what time will he have to satisfy the poor woman.
Imagine playing the good wife fr years and years ,ignoring the guys at work etc
One day,something will give especially if the woman is tired of being cheated on.Its just a matter of listening to the flattery, allowing yourself to be appreciated by another son of Adam,friendship develops from there and b4 u know it,sekem sekem sekem.Pure enjoyment and release of pent up frustration.
Forgot to add that the fact that its sooo forbidden makes it more exciting..

Chop with condom and clean mouth.Go home and continue your wifely duties. No more frustration, someone out there gets an erec tion just by hearing your name,hehehehehehe. Happy wife,happy kids,happy home.
The charade continues till una repent.

Onegai:

If my husband was a WEALTHLY FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, A WEALTHY EX-FOOTBALLER (MOST LIKELY TO END UP IN GOVT) or A WEALTHY BASKETBALL PLAYER (who will most likely sign a 6-figure deal to write his memoirs after he retires)....
Baby, I will fight any oloshi strolling around him, cook him egusi and pound yam daily and pray unceasingly for him
But y'all broke brothas, you will be cheating giving me High BP and I cannot even afford to fly the kids and I out for a weekend in Dubai, instead I'm in your rented house, waiting to turn off the gen at 10pm and sleep in heat, skabashing in the darkness telling myself "he will return to my arms one day" whilst you are shouting "hallelujah!" on top of one woman in an air-conditioned hotel room somewhere....
As my aunt said to her husband, "I'm leaving you because you're cheating and beating me and you cannot give me hypertension and AIDS when you haven't even built your house"
She went on to marry a retired military General #CorrectWoman

Thank youuuu
Added to these,I will keep body and soul together..

I'm not her..how am I supposed to know?
Ask the countless women who do the red bra nairaland treatment ,endless prayers or petting the men and ignoring.
Many are now going undergee to help themselves.
I no de judge anybody o jare.

She said she won't divorce naaa. U go force am?
Abi you don't know that its better to die than divorce?(naija style).

@Kimoni

Na soooo.The kids are watching gist scare tactic expired long ago...As the husband de knack dey go the kids no de watch?
As she wan shag so she go do am for where her kids dey?
My point is this, scare tactics used to dissuade women from cheating dont work anymore.
Let someone decide not to cheat simply cos she doesn't want to not cos of irrational fears..there's a practical solution to it
A. USE CONDOMS
B. BE DISCRETE.
C. TRY NOT TO GET CAUGHT

I repeat s ex is sweeettt and doing it to keep body and soul together well,I can't castigate anyone with a useless husband who tows this line since she must not divorce.She dedicates her life to some man and his stale blokos ,toils night and day,bears kids only to be cheated onconstantly and now she wan chop clean banana wey stand brekete una don remember std ?
Its not revenge se x,its just trying something sweet and new.Man must not chop one blokos forever.
Abi na prayer she go use de scratch the urge?
When they are tired and old,they repent and sin no more.

Kimoni:

So why do you think cheating on him is better than leaving him? You just said you are capable of taking care of yourself and the kids so why are you afraid of leaving him? Societal pressures?? Just remember that you might catch these STDs you are currently running away from even faster than your husband if you decide to go this route. Don't understand why you want to force yourself to be somebody you are not over a man that is not worth it??
Try and make adequate preparations for your children's future before you start.

How do you know the kind of woman she is?
S ex is actually really enjoyable ,is it only cheating men that enjoy s ex? Or you think if she finds a fresh blokos to give it to her well she won't enjoy it?
So you think that if she wants to knack she won't protect herself as per condom? Std ko std ni..tell that to the useless men

Op do whatever makes you happy..if its to massage a stray banana to keep you sane,enjoy.Especially as you won't leave.
All na temptation...go and sin no more

Sorry OP,too funny.

chucky234:
Honey dont take little things serious, we both love each other and that is what count.

freecocoa:
I don't want to talk about it please, just let it go.

No one can say what another's tolerance level should be.If you want to die there,fine.If you want to leave,fine.
However,we all are hypocrites at one point or the other.I bet that if it was a regular couple that went to the pastors for counseling they'd tell them to keep praying and waiting for change

Thank God for common sense.No relying on anyone to chop my tithe and control my choice under the guise of man/woman of God.Or telling me how to live my life yet busy doing the opposite.

She has listed her expenses...comment on it naww
I see you are dying to talk of your soup
Oya naww dear brother tell us about the one week/ month soup and stew so you can be happy.

She's not in the village please.thanks sah.

Meanwhile,if the man is illegal abroad,he wouldn't be able to travel so freely.

I pray u noisemakers experience something that will give you pain close to labour

@emiye
I was in Naija some months back and was shocked at how expensive things are.I couldn't believe it.So,I'm not that put of touch
Remember the main grouse is that he acts like he can afford more evidenced by his 200k expenditure when he's around.
So he values himself and his expenses at 150k per month then lumps his wife and 2 kids at 50k.

Imagine if he's more frugal and let's say spends 100k per month then spreads the remaining 100 over the year,there would be more to go round.

Its his money though so the wife should bone and find sth to do so she doesn't bring up kids who have a chip on their shoulder.

If the man cannot afford more is it not better to have a discussion with her and come to an understanding?That way she knows he's doing his best instead of leaving her believing he's an aradite who values only himself.

Seems like all the miscellaneous piling up will be more than the 5k you apportioned eh?
@saponification
I understand especially when a toddler is a fussy eater.She really has to get a job and supplement.There's no other option

@emiye
You really don't know anything about kids eh
2-3 daipers per day?That means you are talking about a mature toddler.Babies poo and wee and you are changing them at least 3 hourly to avoid daiper rash.

The man pays school fees doesn't translate to uniforms,text books,school bag,water bottles,lunch box.

You can see I stressed on her getting a job or doing a biz to supplement the 50k.Its not fair to d kids for her to just standby complaining.
Remember the man blows money when he's in Nigeria,that's probably why she's upset.Its more painful when you feel he can afford it but is just being stingy.If he likes,let him not give her too! But the kids,come on! They deserve the best both parents can afford.

I don't know what perfume is 2k.she cannot even buy perfume self with the budget so she has to stick to deodorant.

I agree though that no amount is too big..there are always needs here and there,depends on lifestyle.But 50k is too tight abeg


Err dunno what standard will be used to call anyone ajekpako, from the list all the kids can do is eat and Gp to school,nothing extra like school trips or going to the zoo.All the extracurricular activities that would enrich their childhood cannot be catered for with that budget.
As long as the kids get the very best the parents can afford,that's fine.

@emiye
Honestly,its suffering to me because there are 2 kids involved.If it was only her,it's different.
Its important for kids to get a decent start in life if possible especially when the man spends 200k when he's around.

I buy clothes when the need strikes..I buy for the kids very often cos they outgrow them pretty fast

With growing kids,you constantly buy clothes.That's why I know most of you don't have kids.The list is too tight for Mom and 2 kids.
Only way its feasible is if there's no other option cos this is pure suffering

@Getumad
So a man should comfortably lavish 200k on himself just cos he came back from jand? Is he not living above his means and giving the wrong impression to his wife and others? Is it not smarter to put that money to good use by making sure his children's needs are met to the dot?
As far as I'm concerned,it's irresponsible and the needs of your family should come first instead of showing off what you don't have.Please take a look at that list and tell me if it's not very tight for someone with 2 children who doesn't have a job?
Clothes for 5k for 3 people? phcn 2k For a month It's ridiculous.Errrr,the stew for one month,won't it be in freezer?If she doesn't run the gen how will she preserve it? Or is she supposed to be warming it everyday with the 1month kerosene?If she ditches the car,how will the kids get to school?Okada? Is that not dangerous?Is it not more stressful and expensive to be going via public transport daily?(this one I don't know)

As I said,if one isn't struck by abject poverty, it's dangerous mentally to live with this sort of extreme rationing.There always has to be room to manoeuvre Cos of miscellaneous stuff that could come up.

She needs a job/biz asap cos this list is kponkious.


Fxwarrior,no offense meant but you seriously sound like an extremely stingy person.The good thing though is that you are also likely to be stingy to yourself so in this regard,you are better than the man.
There's nothing wrong with someone who can't manage with the 50k monthly as long as they can afford it.Your friends wife with large expanse of land who isn't gardening shouldn't be paining you so much,not everyone cares for gardening.If they complain,its not your biz nawww.Its them and their hubby.
I know you believe yourself to be a realist,but from what you write I feel like your own realism has over stretched.

Please,make sure your future partner is like you or at least knows your rationing power.
I would go crazy if my husband talks this way.I'd only be okay if we are dirt poor and have no other choice.

Meanwhile, make the 50k budget for the family.Emiye has done his own.It might actually be useful for those who truly don't have an option

@Emiye,the pampers won't be enough? for 2k how many will be in a pack.I was in Naija a while back and had to buy wipes for the baby.It was 500 for one which would just last a week especially with a small baby.You forgot recharge cards for phone abi she won't call the 'abroad' husband.What of uniform for the kid?textbooks?school bag and accessories? Kids misplace a lot of stuff, you have to keep replacing.
I don't know the kind of clothes you mean that will cost 5k for three people.That one is pure wretchedness. kids grow out of clothes so quick,you keep buying and buying.

I also dunno the toiletries that will only cost 2.5k? Unless they'll use Shea butter, Vaseline talcum powder and hard tissue.deodorant,perfe,soap,toothpaste,sanitary pad nko?
Won't she at least relax her hair or braid it? not to even talk of fixing a weave?



** modified

Heiiiiiii!!!!!!!
Hard life bad ooo! May this type jump and pass my siblings.

Wonder why no one has mentioned the spiritual angle?
The man has been a cheat,maybe he slept with a mamiwota or papiwota and is suffering the repercussion.
Or a runsgirl has collected his blokos and locked it up forever.

Sorry op..I think it may be medical.Is there a chance he's on any meds?Even antihypertensive keds can cause erectile dysfunction.
Try and get another opinion from a urologist.
Cheers!

On page 2 of this thread,saponification mentioned that the man spends 200k per month when he gets back into Nigeria but when hes back abroad he sends 50k.
I'm sure he sat down to do market survey and measured everything before arriving at the 50k.

If this is not a clear case of aradite syndrome, I dunno what else is.
The woman had better go out and hustle so her kids don't end up counting groundnut and grains of rice per meal when they grow up.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2264595/NOW-believe-Two-men-experience-simulated-labour-pain-TV-just-hours-lucky-dont-real.html

Another link..go and see men like you squealing like local pigs.Its people like you that will be crying like bushmeat after 5 minutes.

Mr Warrior,
It's not just about the 50kg bag of rice but your seeming inflexibility and alternatives which may not be palatable.
For me,any man who does market surveys and knows the price of yam and fish down to their sizes
Odikwa risky!
Kerosene price and how long it will last.If it doesn't nko?firewood?
Fried yam for snacks..one day yeah but a couple of times? Come on! Kids may want biscuits,occasional yogurt etc.
That's carrying shrewdness to a whole new level.
I can only advocate such measures in poverty situations.
No insult intended but if you are married,I wonder how your wife copes.She won't even be able to buy something she likes.Maybe 2/pairs of shoes for 10/years or till the heel is torn to shreds.

Women work ooo or do biz by the side to avoid these sort of stories.

I De fear men like u abeg.

@Fynbabe,
I'm just a bit shocked at all the extreme rationing.
So let's say a bag of rice is to last 1 month,they have to eat a particular amount per day. If by mistake d kid wants extra nko?
No mother would be this stingy to her child if not forced to by poverty.

Hope people marry people who reason like them if not ehhhh the home will be wrestling ground.

Everyone is used to a certain standard in life and it would kill me if I had to send my kids to rubbish schools or fry akara and pap for them as snack.Look at the state of public schools in Naija.The so called free schools where kids sit on the floor to learn.I'd rather die than send my kids to such a place.
No meat eating, rationing rice and beans or even monitoring tissue paper and cream.
Gosh! That's the height of suffering.
Its worse off if you think your hubby can afford it but is just extremely stingy , shrewd to a fault or just a friggin cheapskate.
Its important to work,do business and supplement so that your kids get a decent start in life.
Nothing worse than kids who are set by default to feel inferior
Cut your coat according to your size yes,but at the same time don't hover over small small things like a monitoring spirit.
Leave that to the extremely poor who cannot truly afford better.
If you have mb to browse Nairaland then you are not extremely poor.


This thread is a real eye opener.

Wash bom bom with water,what's the point in using hard tissue?

Instead of wasting money on perfume,rub powder under tthe armpit.

No need for Vaseline,palm oil is a good supplement.

Don't bother with toothpaste or toothbrush.. Go outside break a branch off a tree.Modified chewing stick.

Leaves as nappies

In case you are on your period,use cotton wool or the jumbo tissue or Nigerian wax.

Pap as snacks for the kids.What other ridiculous thing?

All mothers please try and get jobs or run a biz in case you fall into the hands of an aka aradite.That way,you can give your kids the best possible life out of what you can afford.

My respect to all hustling mothers who do everything to see their kids are comfy.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2626363/Now-know-feels-Men-wired-machines-simulate-pain-childbirth-30-seconds.html

more links if you google.




Plenty research has been done,even simulation carried out for noisemakers like you.
They tried and couldn't bear it.
My respect to mothers o jare.E nor easy.

BLW
I had to flee after one of our pastors then in school made a well known waka waka a cell leader and rumours were flying of them rubbing body parts together.I also couldn't stand d jerry curls plus coercing people to attend programmes just few days to exam and then they'd be calling God when they fail.
I no dey do one man religion again.
Facing my personal race.
Good luck to the couple,wish them well.

Okokobioooko!
Growing up must have been hard,yikes!
I can imagine all the rationing.
Pesin wey marry this one don enter one chance o!no room to manouvre .I can imagine him going to d market with that black hard bag,wearing his dunlop slippers and haggling bitterly with the garri seller,chewing stick in mouth.
This kain house ehhh there must be Special ruler to measure yam,maggi counted one by one to last for 2 years.4 people to one egg and ofcourse no eating of meat.Okirika clothes forever.
Reminds me of osuofia film 'calculator'.
It is well..

Madam if your hubby isn't giving enough better find a way to supplement. Get busy! You don't want your kids to end up like ..
Its good to be prudent but at the rate some are going,fear De catch me

This over calculating I can understand in someone who is extremely poor and has no other option
Kaiii OWU NA BASTAD!

jennylove7575: Slimmos What do you mean you never see me (devil) from ages? If you claim not to know me how you take conclude say I be prostitute or HIV carrier? You don’t call people you have not met before fabricated names to tarnish their image. Secondly, your mother and sisters should not have been calling me on the phone every now and then to beg me. Your mother says na small pikin dey worry you make I forgive you. It will be difficult for me to forgive you. You have awoken the demon in me by duping me and still having the mouth to call me names on nairaland. Last year when I was returning to uk, slimmos, didn’t I give 200,000 naira? The phone weh you dey use so no be me give you? Dat yeye Johnson weh your mama dey sleep with, wetin the man dey do for una? U are here lying to 5naira say you don’t know me before. Moses na God go judge you and your father. Stop calling my phone, if you like hide your number I will never forgive you and your father. £6000 is 6000x 280=1m 680000 naira ( 1,680000naira). You and your papa na thieves and 419. You and your papa should pay me my 1,680000naira. for your information, mr oni said the land belong to the celestial church of christ. that it was never for sale. but your father whom you are now telling the whole world that is dead, presented the documents to me, convincing me that its a family inherited land. mr oni said the documents are fraud and he showed me the original certificate of ownwership...i respected i trusted your father because he is an elderly man..unless you are now telling me that the man you presented as a father isn't. you came into nl talking shitty stuffs, calling me names pretending you are an innocent boy. you lie. me JENNIFER BROWN will not let this matter go. head go roll. you people have bitten the fingers thats feeds you.

Jesu!!!Wetin be this

If it's my hubby,it would be better for him to set himself on fire or pray I die there cos from that day henceforth,he will become my wife.
We will hold hands and shop for a di lido that I'll be using on him every night.
He didn't even try to save his children?? What sort of man is this? I hope the story is made up.