Funny enough the Nigerian virgin hunters never ask Caucasian chicks this question . infact they don't bother about past history,they just move on from where they meet.

Why should any one be a virgin because of another person? See the result,it doesn't work.Saving virginity for mythical husband and wife is pure rubbish.


For chicks,
If you want to abstain from sexual relations please do so for other reasons that make sense because in the world today it's very few men who are knights in shining armour anyways and fewer who are even worth it.So don't go expecting a great guy just because you are chaste.Normally,its the horrible wanton and most perveted guys who would sell their left eye to get a virgin mostly because they have lived in all sorts of debauchery.

The only person who should make a case for a sexually Chaste partner is one who can say the same of himself.I t is a beautiful thing when two people are each other's first.Lots of exploration.

Don't have sex cos it's not a priority for you or because you are too busy or because you promised your God etc Good luck if its for husband or wife.

Meanwhile the person you call Chaste may be a die hard wan ker and chairperson Vaseline crew

@twinkleme
This is nairaland,people will tell your mother (a grieving widow) to carry goat and cow and go and beg your husband's people.There will also be war room mentions.

Anyway it all depends on you,your character and what matters to you.I would say focus on burying your father and press ignore button on anyother thing.

I've done the love in-laws as your parents and siblings thing, I have flown the flag and finally burnt it.
1. Your in-laws are different people,they are not your parents neither are they your siblings you cannot love them overnight.Most will NEVER ever treat you with the same love and care they shower on their own son or sibling simply because we are humans and will always have a bias.I do not know what gives people the expectation that love suddenly blooms out from nowhere for someone who you've just known from a spouse whether they treat you nicely or not.Infact on NL you are told to love harder especially when you are Ill treated.

I believe relationships like this can be well managed,some people are naturally predisposed to loving and pursuing relationships while some others cannot be bothered. How many husbands are required to love their wives parents and siblings with the same force that keeps on being pushed on to the females?? I find it ridiculous.

I advocate for having an open mind when meeting in-law and then adjusting emotionally based on treatment.
There should be a chance to get to know and then form an opinion on how to move forward not suddenly force love and castigate you if you are not dying on the altar of inlaw.Now if you are accepted openly ,no horrid treatment won't you love back? Incase of Ill treatment,its logical that you micromanage,press ignore button and be cordial.If you are a horrible person then you also should be ignored.
It's the bending backward to the extend of pretending to be who you are not that is sad.You find that when you spend time and things gel,you have things in common,the fondness comes naturally.

For your case id say no one is chained to another,if your husband is disrespectful to your people a discussion is needed on a way forward.You lay bare your point and he says his and you find a way round it.Your energy should be focused on your family,your unit not people who largely are not feeding or clothing you.If you have a great relationship with hubby,establish your boundaries with in-laws and that's it.

I'm not a person who needs to be loved or liked,i don't even have to like people to be able to be cordial or kind.I just try to be fair and polite but it's 100% clear we are not close.Respect me ,I don't need your love.There can be a good cordial relationship,there's nothing wrong with that.You don't have to be falling over each other if you know you are just do not gel.Polite,cordial and kind is the way.

My sister in law goes out of her way to be petty but I just don't bother cos she's inconsequential in the larger picture.I also give room for the fact that probably in some way unknowingly i have offended her but she never even gave me a chance,she just saw me and probably didn't like my big nose.Then a whole host of other things complicated issues.
When we enter naija I still buy stuff for her and her family and say my hellos but I don't discuss anything.Im very fine with it especially cos I'm so far away.

That's one reason why I am against blind apologies,cos you may be apologising for crimes you don't know of which will now be held against you.It happened to me when I was still doing love.I have done a total 360 in the past couple of years in the sense that I have removed myself totally from any unnecessary interaction.M y parents in-law come to mine for months and are always happy but we know we are not close.I have managed to gain respect mainly because i am sensible,an asset to my family,because their son loves me and our home is obviously happy.

So mourn and bury your father and file away others in a cabinet labeled don't bother.You can always have a cordial bi-respectful relationship without all the unnecessary adjuncts.

Does she want to have the baby?
Does she have the financial physical and mental capacity to care for it?is the father of the child involved and willing to jointly parent?
What impact will it have on her future?
No point forcin her to birth a baby and the next thing we see is another story of a baby dumped in a trash can.
People always jump in to say maybe the child will be the next president,I don't know but how many have become presidents.
I do not believe in birthing children into unecessary suffering no matter how unpopular that sounds.

@ bukatyne,
Varies from man to man
The internet warriors may prefer submission to s ex
Some prefer peaceful homes
Some well cooked meal
Some would prefer s ex from morning till night and not bothered by cooking skills
Some with one testicle will prefer to be called Chief above anythingelse.
Depends on the man.

Don't really care about what men want these days though .Maybe you should create a more interesting one about what women want let's see if the recalcitrant offenders will pick a thing or two.

Cheerio

JustHere2Observ:


Why do people ask if couples having problems dated or courted. You can never truly know someone from just dating or courting, people change and adapt to the situations they find themselves.
A man that never raised his hand or voice at you while dating can become a monster after marriage also a woman that seems virtuous during courtship can turn out to be a foolish wife.
You get to know who your spouse is after wedding.

Had to chip in a bit with this comment.People don't just do a complete 360.It's very rare to see man who didn't raise his voice or hand on you while dating to suddenly become a wild beater or abuser.The person must be a pure papi wota soaked in the burning fires of hades to be able to pull such pretence off. An abusive person doesn't have to beat you outright while dating..When someone always says ill slap you o,i'll rearrange your teeth o..if u try me i will beat you.When someone isolates you from people,checks your phone irrationally,monitors you 24/7 then you marry and he turns to start accusing you of infidelity plus a few smacks here and there,will you say he changed?

What is being virtuos? Virginity? Or a smart chick with her head screwed on right? What parameter are you using to measure the change.A girl that has slept with ten men may not be considered virtuos by many but may have qualities that make her an asset any partner.A girl who has never had sex may not be bothered to develop any other quality except se xual control-this se xual chastity may be cherished above any other quality by some men.Many are lucky to find chastity and a smart babe in one package..My point is not to be so focused on one thing and miss out others.

What are your eyes were fixed on,what are the small small characters you didn't bother to look into.I have found that its those things that later surface more frequently once married cos you now live together but how can you say they've changed when they've always been that way but you just failed to pay attention?

How about the 'nice guy' who belittles his gate man or drags parking spot like an agbero or the virtuos woman who has a maid that's always dressed shabbily and sleeps on a wrapper on the floor?Or you meet a girl who's job pays highest 100k but all her pics are in private jet or holidaying in Majorca and you know your income in 200k but you still go ahead to chook head-When you are now not able to meet up and she starts misbehaving,will you claim she has changed? How about a jobless man who has never held down a job and isn't bothered about living from hand to mouth? Do you expect him to suddenly become a hustler after wedding? Instead of looking at these we are busy ticking does he smoke or drink,is she wide like bore hole...Smoking or drinking are bad vices but they do not make a person bad.Many ladies have had se x and will keep on having se x,that does not make them bad either.

My whole point is that MOST times the signs are there.Life isn't 100% predictable but some basic stuff are there for us to see.I will say to ladies BE BRUTAL and METHODICAL when choosing a partner.Look for the qualities you absolutely want and don't compromise on those especially when living in Naija where the odds are stacked against you. LOve oo but never love to a point where you are at a disadvantage.Put your self interest first then after you marry you can now start the self sacrifice provided you didn't end up with a mo ron.

Marry a man who represents what your ideal real man is,forget what society portrays as a real man(a house husband can be a real man to some but society may portray him as a failure).Find out what your own standard is and stick with it.It may not come with a six pack or strong nyash,it may not come with the most handsome face or very fat bank account(i said VERY fat),but you will find joy peace and happiness will fill your home as you work hand in hand to build a future.

tearoses:


If you see the way I was jumping up and down when I saw this film on goslow
started watching it in the car straight away
I was deeply disappointed
This was a Christian couple who were just having a bad patch in their marriage
Nothing like the craziness that one hears about
They were a well matched and happy family to start with
They both loved God to start with and they both Loved God even when they were going through their bad patch
The war room method is not for everyone
The foundation has to be there in the first instance

Hahahahahahaha..demonic husband demonic wife- war room.everything war room forgetting the context the movie was made in.
Remains for war room to raise the dead.
It's the cure to everything.

Hope you are great madam,i don reach work o.byee

God to take your life or change him? I'm sorry o but that is a very stupid thing to say.I want to believe you are not stupid.Do you realise you have a child Did that child beg you to be born? If your life is taken who will care for him? How can you mortgage your life because of a man born of a woman like you?? The sooner you realise that we are all the same,its the same God who created and the same blood running through all of us,the better for you.How can you believe death is better than living to see your child excel because of a mere man.hmmmmmm

Let me tell you something,you MUST start building an emotional wall if you cannot leave a miserable marriage.You have to learn to coach your mind to become cold and view him as a roomie In the interim while you sort yourself out.You must be cold and calculating to survive the misery.

If hes not touching you you should be happy cos that reduces the chances of you catching an STD since you know he is unfaithful.If you want to be hitting it raw with him good luck cos sooner or later craw craw will descend.G o and buy a vibrator and have peace.

Go and look for something to do as well no matter how little,this will give you some self of self confidence.I personally believe self worth shouldn't be tied to a job though.

I don't know why people make it a habit of apologising and kneeling to say sorry when the other party is clearly at fault.There can be mutual acceptance of wrongdoing but this constant apology will make even me begin to take advantage.You have to have some dignity abeg.

Stop killing yourself and start thinking of. ways to build yourself up especially as you have a child to cater for.When you stop being obsessed with him,he may sit up and take notice.

War room members will soon come to help you cry harder.

Good luck

This thread cannot be real.Azz pics How possible is that? Ndi born again?? Lai lai..na lie!

Chances are that all those long hard moans she's been belting out for you are fake.Pounding for 10 years is not equal to great s ex.So now she probably doesn't want to bother herself faking or gsms again.
If the s ex was truly great,shed be aching for you and making an effort.

Plenty women fake it and they are the ones most likely to give any excuse under the sun to escape having to go through yet another se xual ordeal.

It is very very hard to see someone who thoroughly unashamedly enjoys se x with her husband running away from it like lion de chase am.

Time to revise your bedroom game.
Loads of men are bad lovers who think they are earth shakers when in reality they have been with women who just don't have the heart to tell them the truth

Sorry.

Naija women de suffer.
Look,hes probably copying the way your husband treats u,im sorry to say that.Team boys while you are team woman the slave serving them.

It's surprising your husband does not see his attitude as a cause for concern.

It is your home and you should lay the ground rules.Relative or no,i am strong believer in fairness.
Everyone should do their share and if you choose not to take the initiative,i kukuma help you out.

No one treats you like sh it without your permission.
Share work fairly and ask him to help out.If he then refuses blatantly,time to turn the heat on the man you married abi you de fear?

See all the people pouncing on you likely because they will act the same sh it script all because you are a woman.

Stand your ground and lay the rules or forever hold your peace.

Good luck

@Adaada1331

I will go against the grain and say I absolutely love your self confidence.I love the fact that you know you are worth something good and that you realise that you come from a good family,not ready to drop your self belief because of marriage.I applaud that ,many kudos to your parents.Id be very proud of you if you were my child for thinking so logically.
It's good to know you are in a position to make a choice while young,use it wisely.Love love does it mean you must marry.I think getting married should be a logical decision while weighing pros and cons methodically and even choosing one that's most advantageous to you.Yes it sounds cold,but you have to look at a person minus your emotions then try to deduce the outcome and choose the best one for yourself.
Know though that no matter how methodical you are sef life still has its curve balls and you can't say the future but still it's best to give yourself the best headstart possible.

You are still very young so I'll say take your time,you will definitely make better decisions when you are sayyy three years older as your taste becomes more refined.It means you will have more time to come into yourself,more time to know yourself and what exactly you want.The fact that your man is good doesn't mean he's for you or you for him,that doesn't mean you are a bad person or there's something wrong with him.University boyfriend may not be the choice you'd make when you are a working lady so just take your time.I do not believe there is one man for every woman or one woman for a man,I believe in choosing the best possible personality match for yourself from an array of samples.

Getting along with family definitely makes things easier but I'm not of the opinion that you need a guys family to love you before you can marry him.What i subscribe to is mutual respect,cordiality and boundaries especially in a situation where there's no love lost.Truth is some people will want you to bow to them and be a puppet,some people will want to be in your bizniz daily,some will give you space,some will value your opinions,some will only respect you if you have money,it just depends on where you find yourself.Already there is hostility..if you are to continue in this situation,you must learn to be emotionless BUT fair in your dealings.Avoid unnecessary back talk and deal with each situation as they pass by.No need to engage in unnecessary to and fro.Polite but firm and be able to stand up for yourself. I'd much rather you enter a less volatile situation though.Also take into consideration your guys attitude at this point.Whats he saying in all this?Whats he doing in all this?

His family may be against him marrying now because he's still quite young,not necessarily cos they have something against you.I think that's something worth considering.You should also look into why his parents broke up.Red flags if abuse or philandering.
Please focus on your books for now.Plenty of time to decide which way forward.

With the way you have presented yourself though,I believe you will be an asset and a treasure to any man you decide to be with.

I wish you all the luck possible.

Op,
Nothing wrong or bad about not wanting to have more kids.Some people are not cut out to be mothers,its that simple.Some are born and happily nurture.
Unfortunately in naija if you say it,people feel you don't know what you want or that something must be wrong with you or that you need more practice.Unlike here where not wanting kids is normal as its your decision and that of your husband
I personally am not a kid or children person and I drew the line with my husband at 2 to fulfill all righteousness.I just know that in different circumstances,different upbringing i may have made a totally different decision.When you do not have natural maternal instincts you just know it deep down inside but you go along with society and make the best of it depending on your situation.

My problem is that your post feels like it's not really about motherhood not cut out for you but more of fear. Fear can be conquered.
Plus remember you cannot make that kind of decision without the agreement of your spouse after all he wanted two and you said three and you are now backtracking to one.You MUST both agree before moving forward.
Being a mother is not easy and sometimes you feel like you are losing your mind.Its probably worth it in the end if they turn out the way you expect.I don't know.
The good part is that you are accepting your limitations,if you truly do not want more and your hubby is fine with it,concentrate on building a beautiful life for your family.In the end,what people think doesn't really count especially if you are happy and at peace with your choices.I f all you can cope with is just one kid then by all means manage like that instead of having more and dying from frustration.

Good luck.

Onegai:




Jahblessme, for some weird reason my family in the U.K. are sorta...weird. They actually avoid areas with a high Nigerian population. One feels that sometimes the issues within the community may overwhelm him. Like a cousin who was attending a Nigerian church there and so much drama was going on with dating and business and stuff and they will carry their wahala and relocate to Nigeria.

Onegai,
Some people actively avoid dense Nigerian communities like a plague because of the drama that always ensues especially in that london area.There's always one scandal or the other.Honestly,the best solution is to try to mingle with fellow Nigerians in the same or higher social strata who have the same ideals as you.When you work hard and you are busy planning the best outcome for the kids,there's noway you'll have time to design your arms with tattoos or engage in senseless gossip and husband and wife snatching.
I feel it's important for children to see people who share the same skin colour as them,people who face the same struggles,even have role models aside from the parents who also have similar features.We tried but have so far been unsuccessful mainly because we are introverts & spend all our time together.We are hoping to improve though.I'd be very happy if we can find 5 Nigerian families around with kids around the same age with the same ideology as us.


Thanks @damiso for your reply..The family have taken all on board
Please can you unquote me?

@Tearoses,once the family complete the big purchase next year,they intend to look into more property as investments but Mr Osborne seems to be targeting BTL.Rumor flying is that Jeremy hunt may be moved to home office..hot pepper loading for new migrants.

thorpido:
Putting finances into consideration,going public might just be the better option.One thing that is important that tearoses mentioned is time on the parents' part.Do the parents have ample time for the children as that is very important in the child's development.

Thank you Thorpido,

Meanwhile when you say public school,it means private school o

@naijababe
Thanks a lot for the response
;Dmodified

Madam Efemena
Big assignment for them,WOW!!!
Thanks for taking time out to give all this financial info!!
The parents are blown away!!!
Thank you very much,they will get to work on it immediately!
Pity I'm now too old to say that when I grow up I want to be like you

tearoses:


Please tell mum and dad to remember to enjoy life
I know that they want the very best for their children, but they need to be healthy, stress free and happy themselves for the children to enjoy the full benefits of the parents investment.
The parents can do so much and the kids need to do their own bit too
To help the kids understand their own responsibilities & to encourage them, the parents need to be in a good place themselves.

If it so happens that the kids don't eventually make it to private school, its not the end of the world and the parents haven't failed

I know of a family who mum and dad worked 12 hours each 7 days a week just to put an only kid into private school. The mum died and people believe it was due to stress and over work.
Kid went to uni, but did a weird course and is not in that top job as expected.
You can imagine an only child not seeing the parents for hours/days due to work. must have been really lonely.

Thank you for the kind words madam,big food for thought.life is indeed for the living.
I will relay to the family

EfemenaXY:


You're welcome.

I know how she feels. Private schooling in the UK especially in South East England is no joke. Parents are adviced to start saving up at least £2k monthly before junior is born. And that's to fund private schooling at secondary level.

To do both levels, then they should either have buoyant grandparents to help, Equity to release on their property, or savings / trust funds already established. When hubby showed me an article in the papers detailing all of this, our eldest was just under a year old.

Question is, how many of your average migrant Nigerian parents have these set up or better still, an inheritance to fall back on? Especially when the mentality is "born the pikin first, then God go provide..."

@ God go provide.
Migrants face an uphill task to be honest! You just arrive empty handed and work from scratch to become something.

This family sets aside at least x per month ,yet seems like nothing.they are not willing to go totally skint yet.Mother really has to sit up,she was waiting for father to finish training and become more flexible with work then start her own.
It's a crazy world.
Thanks ma!!the mother and father are grateful and will sit up.
England seems to be more deadly fees wise.10-12k tops for secondary down where the family resides.

@ tearoses so true @ last born
You and Efemena have opened my eyes.
So hard to get info on things outside naija here.
The family were really hoping to hear that it's doable but the figures don't stack up at all!
Time for hot tears for the mother.

tearoses:


The irony is that you start out with your family and career almost at the same time, so you live in a smaller house and drive an average car etc as that's all you can afford then
Then by the time that you are at the pinnacle of your career and can afford more, the kids are about to leave home so you are left with a big empty house.
Thats why You see all these pensioners with their jags and flying all over the world; something that they couldn't afford years back.

Hahahaha
You are so correct...!!!It is well,very painful reality.

@ tearoses,
Thank you very much.
Income shouldn't go down,should actually go up but the couple don't want to spend all waking hours working.
They will look into state education more closely then.
Thanks madam T

@Efemena & tearoses



Efe,

modified

.

@Onegai,
Some UK children uniforms? im like wtf??
I'm all for self expression but abeg school is for reading,express yourself outside the gates.
I was shopping not too long ago and i saw a sec school student..i kid you not,as she was walking i was seeing the underside of her bottom.Her skirt was overwhelmingly short and yes she wore the obligatory tights but still

Incase you see someone driving and shouting about uniforms,it's likely to be me .Everyday after school i'm screaming and wondering what parents are thinking.I'm looking into enrolling my kids in a school where everyone looks drab,over the knee skirt and regular trousers.They are all kids and should dress like that especially in an atmosphere for learning.

There's no one who wont be distracted by a ss on display,me that shouts about it up and down is it not cos im also distracted?Upon all the years i've spent here,i'm still not immune not to talk of a teenager with raging hormones.i can only try to teach my son how to respond appropriately ie self control and to regard boo bs and a ss as slabs of wood ....(he doesn't even like listening at the moment,he's still fascinated with his peepee).

Meanwhile,this wasn't shaming..she wasn't just dressed in attire appropriate enough for the school.Every school has it's own code.Sorry

tearoses:
I dont even know where to post this
I didnt sleep at all last night
Ive never seen or heard of this kind of thing before

Damiso, Jahblessme, bebe2, edwife, efemenaxy, fem29, naijababe

Yesterday evening at around 8pm my friends house was broken into with axes. She is due next week and had young kids upstairs.
Hubby wasn't around
3 Eastern European men with balaclavas broke in and started pushing her around and shouting at her asking for her gold and money
They frog marched her into every room and they emptied every drawer and every bag
Thank God the Kids slept through it

Since when did home invasions armed robbery start in the UK?
She lives walking distance from me
When did this start?
I'm just shaking
a 9 months pregnant women?
Break door down?
In a normal quiet residential area?
How did they know she was home alone?
8pm?
Some people said maybe the car attracted them
Is it a crime to have a nice car?

I guess its time to start arming ones self and be very security conscious.
Have any of you heard about armed robbery's?
This is a real shock to me

Nawaaa ooo.Just seeing this one.
Axes ke??
I don't know what to say oooo,this one pass me.
Very scary.It's better she tries to move out for a bit especially as she is vulnerable.
If she lives alone with the kids,they may want to return.BUT naija style robbery?It's unbelievable.
I live on the side of the border that wants independence,carried my things in the search for security to a supposedly 'posh' area.My dear,some weeks ago,a house was broken into and the woman was hacked to death with a machete.Quiet woman,stays on her own.Another time,drug war in another okay area small boy and mother shot in the leg as revenge..Shots fired in school area in the morning.
These people are getting more brazen.
It's not only your side o,it's every where.Time for neighborhood watch,cctv,alarm on 24/7.
I was once burgled and could not sleep for weeks..I slept with knife under pillow for months.
I'm trying hard not to peg eastern europeans but I guess their criminal gangs are more hardcore.

Sorry for the trauma.Hope your friend gets over it soon.chai.

Culled from bella naija


1) Man: Be yourself. Do what you want.
2)Woman: Endure

25 years later:

Man: This marriage has been so sweet, delicious and lovely.
Woman: Endurance and tolerance are key in all marriages. You have to endure

bebe2:




OK the tomato thing is not a joke oo, am going to take as much as my kg allows.

I finally bought the meds, will start giving it two days before I we leave.

Tnk u I forgot earplugs better still they can use my ear piece while playin on their tabs.

Did u have to mention the sun cream? I bought one but fear no let me talk.

Am Just looking foward to coming back safely.

Safe trip o. @ sunscreen,I almost forgot where i was typing .

@Cococandy,
i just have 2,can't have more as another pregnancy could literally kill me.
I feel like i have 10 kids!!
Don't feel like 2 means life will be fine and dandy o,if you have one very very active one
Not easy at all..
Good luck and congrats on your baby.

@tearoses
Very funny @epistle,e long no be small but very beneficial.
We had issues with nepa the last time and hubby had to go out by 2am to get fuelafter the one in the generator finished as our son was wailing from so much discomfort.It was not funny at the time..upon everything we did,see rashes.Hubby was so frustrated that he was crying for us to return.
Then we wanted to buy baby food in a jar,something i get for like 50p here was like 1k , that's when i knew khaki no be leather.
It didn't feel like a holiday,it felt like stress so we just agreed not to class naija as holiday.Naija for us is famliy visit.
Next one we are going I just want to go and stay in the village..I have had the opportunity to go to the remote islands up north here which are classed as rural areas,as in isolated...just so beautiful and it reminded me of my own villa..the smells,the birds,the clean air.I now appreciate villa oo unlike when i was young and would cry when my dad said we had to go back to the village.Now,i'm a village advocate.

Hope by the time i go,i won't have to carry tomatoes.Amen to packing excess.Can't wait for these kids to grow so i don't have to dread every trip..Right from airport tantrum,plane tantrum,everywhere tantrum,that's why we never go out.No energy to battle and talk too much.

Bebe has been very graceful on this thread cos it could have quickly descended to the normal fight

Bookmarking this ,very useful.
Normally it's great to carry all this load as it makes things handier for you just incase of emergencies instead of running helter skelter.
My kids are younger than yours so i carry paracetamol,anti-histamine,ear plugs(cos of pain in ear while flying),jug filter, sunglasses and sunscreen(they burn very easily).
Malaria isn't a joke at all,this is a disease that kills millions yearly so best for the kids to take the meds so you can have peace of mind.
I hope you are packing with a list so that you cross off what you have and be very organised.

PS What's with the tomato thingy?Is it now scarce?I'm going this year as well so does that mean i have to go with plum tomatoes?
Hope its a joke ooo.


Safe trip ma.

Dear Keona,
1. Yes,you are wasting your time
2. He will NOT marry you.

He has made it clear in so many ways though you don't want to see it.He has said yo are the mother of his children-not his wife.You are the breeding machine,and you are probably a good bed mate for him while he is in Akure.

remember he didn't ask you to do everything to please him,it's totally your choice so you can't use that to hold him to ransom.He's not interested in marrying you so it's best you go and stock up on condoms to avoid stds and another pregnancy.Pls when next he comes to visit leave all doors and windows open,wear 4 shorts and iron pant.

if you choose to continue to have se x with him,just do it for the enjoyment not because you expect to marry you or you want to make him happy as he has shown that you are not in his future plans.

Read Mracidosis post carefully,it will help you.Please try and concentrate on your kid, building up and forging a career and future for yourself .It's very unlikely your baby daddy will be in it.
Good luck.

A woman has the right to say no to se x if she's not in the mood.Not everyone wants to hump.
The fact that he beat her up shows the kind of animal he is..A normal man would have tried to seduce her or have a discussion with his wife about why she's not in the mood.If it's a regular thing,then there must be a reason for it..Hormonal,maybe unhappiness in the marriage etc Most of which have solutions..I wonder how the beating will nowmake her more loving towards him or now put her in the mood..This person is just a rapist masking ashusband,maybe gets his kicks out of an unwilling battered partner before intercourse.

I thought una say that men are polygamous and cannot eat one soup?
This soup refused to be eaten,why beat her? there are plenty women out there willing to sleep with him?Useless people will always justify useless acts.
If he's so frustrated,shebi there's fleshlight,blow up dolls etc .What about carrying himself jejely to the bathroom with a can of vaseline abi joy soap?Is that not what our forefathers did?

Believe me when i say he beat her cos he wanted to beat her not necessarily because she rejected him.I'm pretty sure this is not the first time he has laid his hand on her.

sorry ma