I don't really understand when people say why didn't she scream,why didn't she shout.
People react differently to assault,some just lie still out of shock and it happens.Some claw face,kick,scratch.Some go into vacant mind phase then something kicks in and they begin to fight with everything they've got.

When a person who has authority over you or someone who you are familiar with is assaulting you,most times the first feeling is disbelief and no this can't be happening,giving excuses in your mind,before you say jack Robinson its going further,you say no,theres no stopping the attacker,you start begging no way.You threaten to scream and no one can hear you,sometimes you can fight the attacker off,sometimes you can't.Numbness can just take over.
It takes a lot of self confidence from home,knowing who you are to stand up to a rap ist and fight with all you've got.
Ra pe is not a joke..Only a very brave person with a strong family network can come out and point fingers and identify a rap ist.The society is mostly tilted against you,trying to blame you first for something which is not your fault.Family members would even prefer to keep it hush hush to avoid damaging family reputation.
Even the worst ra pist will get up and claim sainthood.
This girl will be damaged forever.Nothing in this world will ever take away the psychological damage of having someone force him/herself on you.

I'm glad people can now be medically examined to prove to some extent forceful se xual intercourse.The walls of the va gina will definitely be bruised and there may be bleeding.Unfortunately we are not yet skilled with Dna testing.Would have been the easiest way to nail the attacker.

For males its more difficult to prove as they are forced by direct stimulus to have an er ction and even orga sm.How many guys can come out and say they were rap ed?? They will be mocked endlessly.Its a horrible world out there

NO means NO.

http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2015/08/unilag-lecturer-who-raped-18-year-old.html?m=1

Someonelse the lecturer tried to molest has come out to talk.Seems the man is a pro!!
Nigeria needs change!!

Rape is a very traumatic event,a persons life can be damaged forever.Even in developed countries, victims commit suicide and they are not even shamed and insulted the way our countrymen and women attack a raped person.Our girls and boys keep quiet when they are molested because they won't be believed,because of stigma following them.Then the accompanying 'what were you wearing' question.Somehow the victim is victimised.
Reactions to ra pe vary wildly from shame to fear to silence to depression to rage to suicide to even promiscuity.No one size fits all.

God save us!

Beautiful family...
Please,pay no heed to the miserable gits who are jobless.
Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder and you all are beautiful to me.

Ur husbands brother isn't the one breaking your marriage,your husband is the culprit.
A responsible faithful man would say capital NO and warn his brother off.
He could've told his bro that he's principled and would like to respect his marriage.That would have immediately caused him to reset his brain and behave himself.
Please face your husband or are you trying to kid yourself into thinking your bro in law dragged your hubby by his privates and stuck it into a vjay?
Funny enough u may be shocked to know its your hubby even requesting his bro to supply the girls.

Your grouse is with your hubby..sorry.He's the one who took the vows and promised to stick with you.

Please go and test yourself for STDs first before you start stalking him..Do not have unprotected se x anymore,save your life first then decide what to do.

It's important to speak with your hubby about his brother making you uncomfortable, I doubt he will budge thoush seeing that he has a partner to fornicate with.

Good luck!

naijababe:


I think what you may need to compare is wages in places like Newcastle with Scotland, cost of living is much lower and you will still get a quality of life similar to Scotland's. If the wage difference is less than £10k basic I'd say it is not worth it.

Thanks a lot,will look into it.

naijababe:


Is it free?



Yes they are going to raise taxes but for the moment there are no fees to pay unless you go private, free prescription, council tax has been flat for as long as I can remember and we do not pay water rates in Scotland. Wages for professional jobs are at par with England excluding London where some allowance is added to account for the high London expense.

Everything has pros and cons but I do not see myself coming back to live in England anytime soon.

Glasgow, Edinburgh and Aberdeen are good cities to consider. In fact, I suggest Edinburgh, Aberdeen is too susceptible to oil price Glasgow is great too, cost of living is even than in Edinburgh but it is not as aesthetic as Edinburgh

Thanks a lot.Have lived in G a couple of years,and I'm tired sef.
Wages are significantly poorer in this Scotland for people in my profession and some friends even go to north of england to locum.I refused to move earlier cos I love the tartan,lol.But with this new SNP move,I wonder if its better to move.. I know absolutely nothing about areas in England.
The kids are about to start primary so in a lot of dilemma,go private or buy in catchment area( the cost of houses there are eye watering)..or England.
I'm sure you've been thru this phase so I'd like your thots on this as well.

Sorry for all the questions..thanks.

Sorry to jump in
@naijababe
you know snp plan to raise taxes and appoint known person for the kids soon abi? Prescription freebies will soon stop.
What will then happen? Stay back in Scotland and be lashed by increased taxes to fund benefits OR pack and run to England?
I'd like to know cos we are seriously thinking of relocating. England reducing tax,Scotland increasing it.
Cost of living is lower and life generally nicer but it's not like wages are on par with England yet they want to put up tax.
My fear is where will we start from? Where to live? School kids will attend etc? Should we just kukuma wait and chop the extra taxes or just be brave and move on
Any thoughts?

@Tgirl4real

I believe Khaleesi took off her ring so that Ser Jorah and Daario would have a clue as to where she's been once they come searching for her..There can't be any other logical reason in my mind oo

This is one of the cultural practices that should be abolished.. It's even women who enforce it funny enough.If the people suffering it are fine,no yawa.

However,since you don't like it,you could call the aunty sarcastically..a uu nn ty moomoo,please get me a glass of water. Au nt y moomoo is lunch ready?

There are ways to make people regret ever forcing a decision on you..
Good luck

Do and you are damned,don't do and you are damned.
Of course they will all say you should broker peace but truth is it depends on what the issue was and the height of emotions at the moment.Knee jerk reaction would be to help hubby,wise thinking would be to ignore them both.
Many of us like to think that even in the worst situations we would all have the text book perfect reactions..

No one knows what went on so judging would be pretty hard.

My text book response would be to ensure the ATM cards are safe,cross check that all legal documents are in order then leave them kill each other if they want.

babygirlfl:


We love you. Whether you are Aisha or not I don't care.

This made me laugh...We love you from here too

Babymama1:


Biko is this aisha2?
This is her style

F9
Aisha definitely doesn't type like me.
IM an innocent nairalander

DONT DO IT!!
that's the wisest advice

@Op
It's not in your place to say what the worst thing in marriage is.
Different strokes,different folks.
Some like a rich man even if he cheats,some would prefer a faithful pauper.

Na pesin wey wear shoe wey know where e de pinch am

People usually under estimate the power and satisfaction revenge brings.
Some people are naturally vengeful,tit for tat and paying back is the only way to self soothe.
Why do people spit in food, watch the other person eat it and feel joy?
How come people poison others and watch them get sick slowly while playing the attentive partner?
Revenge isn't for the weak minded or guilt ridden souls.
I find it funny when people talk like revenge cannot provide relief.
The kicker is that you think you are smart and getting away with it while I'm also enjoying myself. Hehehehee

You guys need to understand that sex isn't that big a deal for some. Its when 2/ more bodies enjoy each other.All this attaching of excess sentiment to it isn't for everyone.It is very easy to get attracted to another human being, throw in the mix of unhappily married woman and a man with a listening ear and broad shoulders to lean on and a full blown affair is born.Abi all the women cheating are aliens??

For me,do whatever lets you sleep at night.If it's getting your own back,so be it. I won't discourage o jare.If it's prayer, enjoy.If you want to live for your kids na you sabi.

I know exactly where I belong,no apologies.

Sooo funny that all this mathematics and scrutiny of publishing and sample size number wasn't more debated when the thread was about Nigerian women being the greatest cheaters in the world or the one about 40% of dads not being the fathers of first borns.

Many don't know that placing a laptop on their laps exposes the balls to excess heat and can reduce sperm count over time.

Excess alcohol,cigarettes all can be culprits.
Even a guy with undescended testicle will join and blame wife.
Plenty refuse to go and get checked and the lady ends up running helter skelter till she falls into the hands of a sharp shooter pastor or those PH baby farmers.

TTC is very dicey and can even push a person to insanity if care is not taken.. Endless tests,depression, se x when u no get energy,ovulation spotting,ivf..its a very difficult cycle.

Oya birth only girls naaa,woman carry blame immediately.Upon all the education of who donates y chromosome,the woman is still blamed.

We have a long way to go shaa but we are getting there.
It starts with the ladies being able to speak up.We have a problem,WE are going for tests.Not woman we have a problem,you will go.for tests,15 girls did abortion for me in uni,it can't be my fault.



In other news,Linda ikeji blog carrying gist about one OSI Umenyiora who just married ex miss world 2011 a few days ago.Apparently had a gf who's been with him for ages exposed the texts he sent her last week. The man was saying they should continue but have to be more careful,he loves her,she has power over him and new wife..plenty plenty things..

Thank God women are no longer hiding these men.Leila's God is alive,make she do fast go for tests. Wonder what footing the marriage will continue on.Lagoon tinz.

Of course the blogger is blaming the 'mistress' conveniently forgetting who is engaged,who is making the vows and that the chick knew him from teetee.

The marriage will never ever be the same..sorry Leila

Na this kain guy de ask 'abortion' and se xual history question pass

Ladies shine ya eyes.

keppyy:


No, it was not a breach of confidentiality...(I don't want to spill more that this because my real time "friends" are reading this)...and I don't want them to identify the person.

Okayy

@harveyspec
If I may add,I would never answer to such badgering as in every day q & a ie if it were me.I wonder how you'll ask ??
Ehee baby I forgot..u don do abortion before? Then in 2 weeks .. Ehee baby so that abortion ehh how many times? Then in a month ..ahhh did you say you had 2 bf?? Come onn.
I don't mean those answers will follow that exact format but you will find that the general formula will be like that.

Once a sharp girl knows what you seek she will answer you accordingly.If you like ask it over 10 years.

A practised liar will always be ready.

One other thing is that a judgey person will always sound judgey no matter how hard they try to hide it.

babygirlfl:
@ keppyy,
Your story just proved one thing I have said several times in this forum. When they say a couple should be honest, they mean the woman should be honest. When the say a couple should go for fertility test, they mean the woman should go for fertility test because in our part of the world and in their eyes, only a woman has problems.

100% true.Meanwhile a huge percentage are carrying dead sp erm around. If your partner demands for all them fertility tests,join hands with him and walk in to the lab together and you must see the sp erm sample koro koro. Hsg to check patency of the tubes is quite painful,why in heavens name would anyone go through that for a man they're not married to? Crazy stuff.

Another point to note is that doctors are bound by the confidientiality clause,they should never ever speak of your health issues,tests and results to even your husband unless you give your permission for them to.You can sue if this is breached.

@keppyy
You've suffered o.Pele!!
Hope you've learnt your lessons.
Before I married,once any guy asked me about my 'vaginity' status,I'd log off.
I would tell them its none of their biz.Many of these guys that asked me had these long line of questions I'd have to pass before 'we' proceed into a relationship.
Fortunately for me,I was very very self confident then thanks to my granny.She told me men are every where and I should never ever enter a relationship where I didn't have the upper hand.That guided me well,any sme sme and you are out,no time for rubbish.

Met my hubby,he never asked me any of these foolish questions..we disclosed a lot to each other in the course of the relationship but no have u had abortion and how many se x partners gist.We had the same belief that of course we are both decent and responsible people and what matters is from here on.We are now exclusive so no messing up.

Along the line of course I got all the info I wanted and he got his plus complete blood tests..wouldn't have asked for sp ERM count cos if I love someone I'm down with them fertile or no.

The important thing is that I didn't feel pressured, I didn't feel I had to say anything..we got so comfy with each other years on and would gist about who's brest he pressed and who's nyash I squeezed..I know for one that he'd never judge me and I tried to be the same for him.

Just be faithful to me and let's love each other.Daz all.

Keppyy had to laugh at your cousin.. . No need to be scared.Good non judgey guys normally get nice girls.Its all these by force by fire guys that end up with reformed ashhhyyy

Sorry to butt in @harveyspec but those questions any sharp se x worker can answer and pass in flying colours.

1.2,haaa highest 3..the first one was beating me,the second one promised to marry me,the third had an accident and died.

C.no se x first one,we dated in primary school,the second one forced himself on me,I was engaged to the third and we had planned date for introduction when he died.

2.Abortioooonnn!!! Jeezos *making sign of the cross* God forbid!! I can never sin against the cross in that manner.Abortion is murder(street workers normally go to professional doctors for abortions so the chances of damage is minimal).
3. No ooo,no children.
4.Suicide?? Tueh God forbid! I'm a child of God,its a sin.
5. No health conditions,of course willing to go for health checks.As a runs girl,shed be doing tests regularly because her alhaji customers who like hitting it raw would always demand clean bill of health .. If she's out to get you,you will never win.

You'd have to be a special kind and understanding man before any chick gives you an answer deviating from the above.They know what you want to hear and will answer you accordingly.

The true way of finding out about someone's lifestyle is by asking their views on those topics when having normal discussions.

Any other way,they will become defensive and tell lies.
One thing I have found out is that the men that don't bother,normally get confessed to naturally especially when trust has been established.

Once u brandish ur pen and paper with these jamb questions,you will NOT get the truth.

By the way,how would you know she's had an abortion before if she's not told you?? Its normally the innocent girls who get preg by mistake,some even by pre cum that run to quacks and get botched d&c.The runs girls have experts on speed dial.


Over and out!

Gaborone:

See them whispering and plotting about how to clean up their mess from the thread.
Talk about glorying in shame.

soo sweet,glorying in shamelessness.

@ Keppyy
No wahala!!