₦airaland Forum

Michky: You gladly throw your husband into the discuss but we must never mention him. Look, next time, keep whatever you dont like "thrashed" private. Ok? Again, if your husband doesnt find it offensive to wash your undies, i do! Ok? In fact, pardon we if i find it very offensive and craziy when you, and those two threadmates of yours, mention it on a public forum as this. Remember that the majority of members are Nigerians. STOP POLLUTING OUR GIRLS HERE. Now can this matter be put to rest?

No, it can not be put to rest, of the simple fact that your mind is so narrow, that you are not able to see that people live different from you, and are HAPPY about that.

And Cameroon, I do not always play the race-card, don`t even try. What happens in here is that people start saying "you are not even african, don`t come here with any talk". It is a public forum, I can tlak however I feel like, the only difference is that I still have some respect for people in my words here.

Bah.

Michky: I dont think she's asking for any special treatment. I just go alittle lost when she started the i-am-white campaign. I think everyone participating in this argument is humble enough and that's applaudable. If Jallowbah wants to continue to really enjoy this faceless forum, its best she contines to blend-in as she's been doing so far. No one is gonna get special treatment from me. *sighs* Now to your question, i as a man knows my duties in the home. Its good you mentioned it. Men dont wanna be told what to do by women. If a responsible husband cant do the heavy stuff, he wont call wifey to do his duty. He will mostlikely find a solution to it (paid/free). Same goes to wives. The home chores (cooking, cleaning etc) are hers. She shouldnt even dare ask me to wash her undies. If she cant, she should find a solution to it (free/paid). I dont care how you do it. Just get it done!

I was not the one talking about how "I come here and talk about how naija-women should fell, blablabla". That was you.

And again, all you are saying, is how YOU do it, and want it, and that is what I am doing as well. And I do not sit down and trash your way, I have simply been saying all along how I want it, and how I have it. But you, on the other hand, feel a need to trash anyone who want something different than you.

My husband comes to me and ask me to help if he need it. If he can not cut the grass cause his back is paining, he will ask me to do it. No problem there.

Michky: Who cares if you're white or black. If you like, be purple for all i care. And if you like, get a house on atlantic. ALL OF YOU FEMALES WORLDWIDE ARE and will remain THE SAME to me. Get off your high horse sweetie. I virtually interact with white girls/women everyweek and i can assure you that its the same poo that resides in your heads as that of blacks. Honestly, i dont know which color has more poo-in-the-head endowment between both races. One more striking similarity between you and the ones on this thread is POVERTY. All of you wont be saying this rubbish if you are financially endowed.

Yeah, you do`t care, right. Riiight.

And if my husband was damn rich, and did not worked more than 8hours every day, I would still work part-time, and like I said before; then most of the chores would be on me.
Just sitting around the house being a house-wife all day is NOT for me, but it IS for other women.

jidegirl12: Lets leave @Jallowbah out of this, she's not Nigerian and didn't even marry one so I don't see why going back & forth with her. I respect her values but 95%Nigerian men are way afar from that attribute and that's why the Topic kept coming up gazillionth time.That being said, whatever works for everybody ( I know it's kinda cheesy )

Nah, you kan keep ME in it, but my husband can stay out He is west-african though, and comes from a country where it is not normal for a man to help out around the house.
Still, HE does it. Individuals, and all that.

Godmother: @Babynatoday

I guess my problem is that I'm not too good in expressing my love. I always hold back cos of fear of being taken for granted

You should be honest about that.

I can give you a list of what I do that I consider showing him respect, and that he compliments on.

- Never saying a bad word about him in public, or to/infront of his friends
- No insults when fighting ( dumb, foolish, ugly, etc )
- Ask him before making big and small choices that regards not only myself
- Ask him before spending big amounts of money on anything
- Not complain when he cooks his favorite food, that I hate
- Pushing him to pray more ( Even bought him a prayers-blanket as a gift. It will last for generations. )
- Show him that I trust him ( no nagging when he goes out, but I do expect to know who he is going with, where, and apx the time he is coming home. )


Small and big things.

I would love to see some actual facts linked to this, instead of a blog that anyone can write, and put "my sources tell me blablabla".

sleekman: the interesing part with an insult or a curse is that no matter d language its written in, you'll definitely understand. Let me explain all these in a language you'll understand. Javla, Fifan kvinna! Forsta du nu? Very soon that woman you call a husband will soon let u know he's a man. Pls when that happens, kindly update us with whats going on.

Haha, nice half-swedish. Can`t see the language-school have done you much good, though.

And, regarding your next post..We have not had washing machine all the time for our clothes, and never had a machine for the dishes. So yeah, I kinda CAN compare it
( And if it is so DAMN EASY, why can`t the man push a button as well? )
Besides, I am not the only woman stating I want a man who helps around the house, am I? The only reason most of you are attacking ME, is because I am white and living in EU.

Michky: Obviously, males like me would never be a match with females of such ideologies as yours. Look, i got your point from the onset. Different strokes for different folks right? I just dont want innocent visitors believing that what you're saying is right because no man opposed you long enough. This is why i have done what i did. Pardon my unsocial attributes by the way. Being human comes with an uneven combination of skills and weakness. Sincerely, i wish you the very best with your marriage.

Lol.

No man opposed me because they were smart enough to see what I meant, instead of starting with bible-quotes they could not follow up on.
And my marriage does not need blessing from a man who is calling me dumb and trying to insult me in a language I do not even understand.

Michky: Why are you so stubborn? What if a husband says he doesnt want to do any chores, are you going to apply for divorce? And NO, am not saying a wife cannot feed the family. What am saying is its no problem if a husband cannot single-handedly cater for his family, and the wife has to support. ITS JUST NOT RIGHT FOR A WIFE TO BEGIN TO SHARE HER DUTIES WITH THE HUSBAND. And regarding your country's law concerning child care, let me remind you that there also exists a law in some states in the United states that legalizes same sex marraige. Does it now mean that because its law then its right? Summarily, your law is a bad one. Simple.

Lol, that law is a whole different discussion.

And if he was the kind that meant the wife was supposed to do everything, I would not have married him. That is what you are not able to see here..

Michky: Y'all keep repeating this phrase: when we are both working bla bla bla. Look, I insist, it is not right for husband to do wife's duties. Eh hen? And you're working. So what? I already said it time and time again: Get a house help, but looks to me like most of you only hear what you choose to hear. Oboy, una lucky say no be me una marry o. Una for don work taya. And when you're done complaining, you'll keep quiet. BTW, have you give up? Common guys, you can do better than this. Murons!

Why use money on a househelp when you have two hands?

And it is YOU saying it is the wife duties. That does not mean everyone feel the same. I am SO grateful my husband have more respect for me and our house than that.

And, who says that we do not think about safety, survival? Why can you not have all of it?
Are you saying that a woman can not feed the family?
Again: how would you do in my country, where the law says you have to take 3months off to be home with the baby, while the wife is working? You even get PAYED to do that.

Aafulenu: am not married but i have never dated a selfish man. i dont see the reason y my husband will not help me if/when am ovachocked with house chores, especially when we are both working.

for eg, on sat, i went to d mkt after work to buy things i would use to preparw soup and stew, b4 i came back, hubby to be had already cleaned up the kitchen pending my return frm d mkt since he doesnt work on sat and i do.

even when i came back frm work/mkt, he still assisted in d kitchen, pounded the cocoayam and palm fruit for me. it didnt make him less of a man neither did it reduce his productivity at work.

there is nothing wrong with helping out in the home. the home belongs to the both of u not the woman alone.

Makes me smile.

This song belongs in here, at least for some of us:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i1GSFXW3mw

dvdon: Rubbish you focus on your husband liitle bance why don't you try us d new d1ck in town woof woof

No, thank you.

If you have a hobby, try to focus on that.
Works for me.

And my job. And my daughter..