₦airaland Forum

bukatyne: I would really love to.

Send an e-mail through nairaland, hon, no problem

bukatyne: And why don't you consider yourself a Christian?

That is a whole different topic If you wish to talk about that one, you can e-mail me.

I don`t consider myself a christian, but you make very good points, bukatyne.

bukatyne: Ok. Can you tell me what is wrong in a man helping his wife around the house and a woman working to earn her own money?

You didn`t understand that one I was guessing what sleekman means with "feminism craze".

Edit: wrong nick. Lol.

bukatyne: What Feminism craze?

...that women want men to help around the house. And that women wishes to work and make their own money as well.
Just guessing, though.

Some men like big girls, others don`t.

I really don`t see the issue here..

My husband loves, loves okra, I really don`t even like the smell.

Boss13: It is your choice. Afterall the most potent weapon of a woman is her tongue. However, let a man be a man. Do not dictate for him. Even if he pleases you now, in the future he will despise you.

Where does it say that I dictate him?
You really think that just because he do as much as me around the house means I must be dictating him..? He is a grown man, the only one he should take "commands" from is his boss.
In a relationship, you don`t command. You say how you feel, how you would like it to be, and if your partner disagree, you make a compromise, so both can be happy. And sometimes, you do extra for your spouse, just to make him/her happy.

Boss13: So that later you can call him a useless man, your mates are making money and you are here siting down with me. Abeg be a honest woman and stop this nonsense forming naija woman dey do these days. We men know una.

...why would I talk to him like that? I am a grown woman, I can stand up for the choices I make in life.

sleekman: Who said that? No way I didn't. Infact I used to have a white babe and she knew d African way. She was/is way better than our 9ja babes but dont come here with that western bullshit. You love kiwi polish lions don't you? I'm sure u know the difference btw a kiwi lion and a domesticated cat

So because me and my husband have an agreement in our marriage, tells you I am coming with western bullsh*t?
Grow up, dude.

And what the hell is going on with your comparison to fruits and animals? My husband is a human, a damn fine one as well.

sleekman: Because one mumu kiwi polish is shining your ur white kitten wanting to kollect kpali now makes you a master and think tank on 9ja affairs? Hmmm *singing Femi Kuti*I sorry sorry O...

Lol. Oh, so because I am oyinbo I can have no matter in any discussions in here? Bullsh*t

sleekman: A time is coming when women will seek husbands but wont see due to this feminism craze. Real men don't bend for shit. I believe its called sambo in Swedish whereby a man and woman play husband and wife but not recognized by the law. Although they become recognized after 10yrs of being together. Women dont forget lionesses takes care of their cubs alone and the Lions do nothing. You're driving men to that point. When that point comes you'll crave a loving man but you'll see non. Only hit and run men. I believe the new term is called 'baby mamas'. Winch wan chop broomstick think say na chewing stick. Mtchewwwwwwww.

Many people all over the world live together without being married, it is called "samboere". It is, after one year of living togeter, recognized by the law that they f.ex have to take care of each other financially.

Michky: Good for you, if that's what suits you. I have only said what i had to say. Its left for you to do what makes you comfy. After all, life is too short to live it wealthy but unhappy. Last word, guard your love with everything you've got. Best of luck to you again.

I rest my case here.

#1Voiceinamillion#

Trust me, I already do, and thank you for the input. Many people are naive, and think that love is ALL you need

Michky: @Jallowbah. Many women pray for a balance of wealth and husband availability. Sadly, many have to choose these days. We all know how valuable love can be to individual lives. True. But choosing love over money is an absolute mistake. ERROR! I say this because i know much more than a lot about this world we live in. Please don't ever again wish for love in place of wealth.
Think! Think!!

I already chose love over money, and have not regretted one, single day since. I can work and make money as well, you know. As long as we have food on the table, roof over our heads, and are still able to help his family when needed..I am happy.

Yes, things would be easier with more money, of course. But I have also had my husband working his a*s off, and almost not being home, and I see what I prefer.

sage_: Are you Nigerian?

If you took 2sec to check my profile, you would see the answer yourself.

Michky: JallowBah, first i want to congratulate you that you've met me in your life time. Why am i congratulation you? Simple, what am going to say next will be very beneficial to you if you utilize it accordingly.

...I am waiting

Michky: I made a mistake earlier. So, you prefer an available and poor husband to an unavailable but wealthy husband. Am i right?

Absolutely.

Michky: In other words, you prefer poverty to love. Interesting.

No, I prefer love over money.

The money the man makes to be able to pay a maid..why not spend those hours with the family instead?

I would rather have less money, than less time with my husband.

Michky: The love is in the man working realy hard, making enough doh and thereby perform his manly duties which includes PROVISION. With money made, he'll get you a house help to do the chores, instead of him.

I would rather have my husband more at home and have less money, than him working his a*s off and not having much time with his family.

Mr...hardener.

Like I said; every marriage is different, but the rude attitude you got towards your wife is kinda..disturbing, in my eyes.
It seems like "It don`t matter if she don?t act the way I want her to act, cause if she do so, I can always just kick her out and find another woman". For me, that does not show love..

lindiwey: Seriously,I really do appreciate my husband more afta reading sm comment.I pray he dosnt meet friends dt will discorage him frm bn a caring husband all in d name of pride n ego.we hv chosen to love each oda d way Christ has taught us n dts wt matters..

People around you can make you see problems where there was nothing to worry about to begin with..

Sike: Re-unite? After 60yrs?! For what again if i may ask? Why dem no kuku delay dat so-called ReUnion till dey meet in heaven. Na wa o!

They are given a second chance to spend the rest of their life together. How that is a bad thing, I really can not see..

Originalsly: Like you said that's the way you want it. So who is the head of the house? ...who has the last word?... who wears the pants?...hmmm...the trousers? Every family has a head...one head...is that you? @ topic...I do believe the man should be the provider and the woman take care of the home. Depending on where you live and circumstances it may be necessary for the woman to work. What happens if they both work and the man loses his job? Does he not do anything at home... because it should be done by a woman? I don't agree with that.I see nothing wrong in a man helping out in the home...even if they both work.

No marriage is the same. When we are both working full-time, then yes, I expect the house-chores to be equal. When he was without a job, he took the mainpart. When I was without a job, I took the mainpart. Out of love, not because you HAVE to. I love coming home to dinner on the table, and so does he

bizz: . I k̲̣̣̣̥n̶̲̥̅̊ø̲̣̣w̶̲̥̅̊ U̶̲̥̅̊ have A̶̲̥̅ nice heart but sincerely if U̶̲̥̅ want him to do all U̶̲̥̅̊ do....there is goin to be A̶̲̥̅ prob somday.my advice....just let him help the way he can.

4 years, no problems so far.

ifihearam: I find everything offensive,marriage is not a competition of independence in anyway. So one woman bron of a woman will expect it as a point of duty for ME(ifihearam)to clean and cook for her(thunder fire her life)why??I dey mad ni? Fine I can do things on my own afterall am nt a dirty sweet man.

I was in capetown sometimes ago and the apartment I shared with a congolese,so we shared kitchen and bathroom,I was cooking one fateful day after washing my dishes when this babe who was also cooking just dropped a bowl where I was washing ad said"please wash it for me" omo if you see my reaction that day,she apologised her heart out,I was very furious,I told her never to repeat this rubbish. She was like,she sends her boyfriend on errands and does house chores for her. I warned her never to try it with me as a matter of fact by all standard she ought to wash my dishes as my tradition demands and she apologised once more and offered to wash my dishes and from there she fell in love with me for being able to handle her.

I can cook for my family once in a very long while(if body sweet me)but for my babe or wife to make it a responsibility then she is tired of the marriage or relationship.

It is a duty for me, and it is a duty for him. To make your spouse happy is the most important thing..if that means cleaning the dishes, or putting on the laundry-machine, and you can`t even do that, well..

And for the part about the woman dis-respecting: I completely agree with you, she did bad there. I would never talk to my husband, or friends, like that.

Michky: Eleyi ti ya were o! So, your expecting me to leave my busy bank job to cater for your sick booty when i can afford a house help eh? Are you sure you're not sick presently?

...no? Everything has it`s limit..I myself would NOT like a stranger to come in my house and clean me and my things, some would be comfortable with it. I am writing what I would like.
Luckily, where I live, if your spouse is that sick, they will give you free from your work, WITH payment, to take care of your spouse.

ON TOPIC.

What people seem to forget, is that I am responding and writing on what works for ME and MY marriage. My words are not the law, every married couple need to find out what works for THEM.
If me and my hubby was both working fulltime, outside the house 9-10 hours every day, and he expected me to take care of ALL the chores, as well as everything with the kids, our marriage would not last long. If I was a housewife, or worked part-time, all/most of the chores would go on me.

All the men here saying "it`s a womans job", I wonder how you would handle the new law here: When you have a baby, the mother get payed for staying home for the first 6months. She can divide it up and stay part time/work part time, and get as much cash every month as she did when she was working. Here comes the scary part for ya`ll:
The FATHER have to take 3months off work, with payment, and stay home alone with the child. What would all of you men do in that situation?? Leave the house to itself while she is working full-time, and expect her to cook and clean everything still..?

busolayemi: u dnt av to undastand...as long as u undastand d flow of discussion...if u av sumtin contribute, do...if not f**k off

That one I got.

How am I supposed to contribute to a discussion when a person answering me is writing jibberish?

Dukecreste: it's quite alarming that a nanny would mete such treatment on a 5 month old child. But I strongly believe that the mother is partly to blame, - reason is because of lost our values of motherhood! How and why would a mother entrust a 5 month suckling child to a nanny! If the mother could afford the 'luxury' to install a live feed synched camera and the 'time' to monitor it, why can't she stay around and take care of her baby. That child deserves a 'Real Mother', not a nanny or an absent 'mother'.

...no work, no food on the table. That is the reality, wether you like it or not.

Ngwakwe: What then do you say of a parent that strikes her baby after repeated pandering and coddling in an attempt to get the baby to eat or keep quiet to no avail. Then out of frustration and impulse strike the baby mildly to see if the child react positively in her favour.

If this is what led to the action of this nanny, even in my presence as the mother of the baby will read her motive and will never regard it.

Please, how many ladies will work as a nanny and in whatever condition will be innocent of one flimsy act, then should be allow to cast the first stone.

What do you think Jacob was doing when he held his brother Esua's leg at birth. You think say these babies no sabi something.

Na waa for all these European and American wanna be*

Don`t sit and type and try to make it look like this is an ok thing to do in Africa or Nigeria. Don`t do that.

My child was awake and eating every 1,5hour for her first 4months..I had so little sleep that I sometimes had to beat at the wall to get out frustration, but to beat my BABY because she was like that, and cried much at times? Hell no. HELL NO.

Now she is two, and if she sometimes throw a tantrum, I might give her a small slap on her a*s when she does not listen, and get warned, but to slap her face repeatedly, or even once, and her belly..? Nope, no, no way, ain`t gonna happen.

I feel sorry for your kids, if you have some.