₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Mynd_44]*Hisses*[/quote]Is this guy a snake?

Come. . . Mr May-d, oops! Sowie, Mr Mynd, it seems u've got issues with Mallam Flasha. . .ok, i can understand that.
But, instead of keeping grudges and looking for every opportunity to bash him on threads, why not bring ur issues to our round table, lets resolve ur disputes alternatively, without the courtroom 'ish.(thread bashing 'ish)
Our office address is:
James and Co. Chambers, 180 Complaint Avenue, Romance City, United States of Nairaland.
Tnx in anticipation.

[quote author=temmy.m3]Am sure this was written by an oyinbo man cos some things are different when it comes to naija girls esp. the loki ones

In my country Naija,
When she walks from you mad and u follow her, na word u wan hear, Na public disgrace go end the matter for both of u.

U cant kiss her when she starts cursing at u my broda, oyinbo's curses are light and flexible, but Naija curses are thunder in the making, u wont even have the chance to say I love you when she pours acient curses Yoruba,Igbo or Hausa language.

When she pulls away, pull her back... Get ready for a hot slap my guy

Grab her and dont let go when she hits or pushes u.. Hmmmm, igbo kwenu, if thick igbo girl pushes u, then u should quickly find somethin nearby to hold on to before u fall yakata for ground
Offend Lasgidi downtown girl and she hits u with let say, a bottle on your head.. U dont wanna imagine whats gonna happen

When she's scared, protect her... Depends on what got her scared of o. This is Naija, not Holywood movie, where she is scared of one of her teddybears.


When you break her heart [ the pain NEVER really goes away .. That is if u hav even got the chance to break her heart first!

When she ignores you.... SEND HER RECHARGE CARDS or renew her BBS

When she steal's your favorite hat [ Let her keep it & sleep with it for a night] ... I trust my fellow NL guys, If your GF steals your face cap, na here u go rush come to create the topic ''MY GF STOLE MY CAP What should i do"

When she says its over [ she STILL wants you to be hers ] ... **Coughing** I ll be right back[/quote][quote author=temmy.m3]Am sure this was written by an oyinbo man cos some things are different when it comes to naija girls esp. the loki ones

In my country Naija,
When she walks from you mad and u follow her, na word u wan hear, Na public disgrace go end the matter for both of u.

U cant kiss her when she starts cursing at u my broda, oyinbo's curses are light and flexible, but Naija curses are thunder in the making, u wont even have the chance to say I love you when she pours acient curses Yoruba,Igbo or Hausa language.

When she pulls away, pull her back... Get ready for a hot slap my guy

Grab her and dont let go when she hits or pushes u.. Hmmmm, igbo kwenu, if thick igbo girl pushes u, then u should quickly find somethin nearby to hold on to before u fall yakata for ground
Offend Lasgidi downtown girl and she hits u with let say, a bottle on your head.. U dont wanna imagine whats gonna happen

When she's scared, protect her... Depends on what got her scared of o. This is Naija, not Holywood movie, where she is scared of one of her teddybears.


When you break her heart [ the pain NEVER really goes away .. That is if u hav even got the chance to break her heart first!

When she ignores you.... SEND HER RECHARGE CARDS or renew her BBS

When she steal's your favorite hat [ Let her keep it & sleep with it for a night] ... I trust my fellow NL guys, If your GF steals your face cap, na here u go rush come to create the topic ''MY GF STOLE MY CAP What should i do"

When she says its over [ she STILL wants you to be hers ] ... **Coughing** I ll be right back[/quote]Three gbosas for this temmy guy. . . Gbosa!! Gbosa!! Gbosa!! U said it all bro

[quote author=Mrs.Chima](throwing flowers, a bra, and a blackberry in the grave) RIP and be with God.

Call me and let me know if you see where Van Vickers at from Heaven. [/quote]U must have typed this immediately after a mind-blowing romping session with Chima. . .
Can't believe u typed this poo when u were in the right frame of mind!

'Gal i dey wish say, i fit say, u too fyn pass my mama, but that is IMPOSSIBLE'. . . Mum over fine dey worry you. RIP our mummy (Mrs Josephine Okoye)

Hey Sijo. . .please, do try and suspend ur bar-strike. I need to buy u a drink at acidtalk's beerpalour.

Sijo01: I bam wella, tnx to baba G!
Hw u dey enjoy ur house arrest na?
Mak u sofri shark o, so dat u go kno road enter house.

that's gud to know. House arrest don dey improve small small, they don dey allow us comot for 8hrs.
Ahhh! U sef suppose trust Benin boy, we no dey carry last, even if i drank, abi na drunk the whole drinks wey dey diz beer palour today, i go stil waka kurukere reach my house!

OPEYEMI AD: so because i ask u 4 money for d old debt na him cos dat gramer

which debt u dey halla for like this? Calculate everything gimme, plus including all the accumulated interest, mk i pay u cash down.

Sijo01: Barman, give dis babe 1bottle of big pepsi, mak she tak colli temper.

Barman, that'll be on me.
BS:@Sijo, hw we dey 2day, hw work? Hope say u dey kampe

Idowuogbo: I don't drink!

then wetin u find come beer-palour?
Anyways, barman u heard the lady, she doesn't drink. . .give her two wraps of weed! Maybe she smokes

*enters bar. . .sights IDOWU two tables away from his*
mk i try wetin Chris Brown do when he meet Drake for bar, maybe e go work for me!
Ermmm. . .barman, send two bottles of champagne go IDOWU table, tell her say na peace-offering from me to her!!

[quote author=9-zeros]both of u 'll make a great couple.[/quote]Hey! What are u infering?

@Cacoa. .sowie, Coca-cola. .abeg no vex my eyes don dey see double n my tongue dey wag without control!
Wetin i wan talk na, mk u show for my table, jst drink anytin u want, i go settle the bills.
@Sijo, u self follow join my table. . .lets hv a party!
Ermmm. . .barman n in sister, abi na 'assistant' dem dey call am, show for my table mk u serve these barbies wetin dem want! Bring me 1 redbull,powerhorse n alomo bitters.

I don show, i don show. . . My fellow drunkards,furkers and ganjer men and women, i hail o! Hw una weekend be lyk na?
Barman how ur side na, o'boy i see ur younger sister for church 2day. I jst dey trip for her, abeg runs her for me na. Na that kind gud gal i need for my lyf, she fit change me for the better. . . Meanwhile, pass me five bottles of harp!

freecocoa: ,you of all people should know that was all talk abeg o,many things NL stays on NL.

Awww. . . I'm sowie. Didn't occur to me that u might be pulling my legs.
Anyways, how does u and ur prince charming? Hope he is a nice,cute and caring dude, that will never dream of hurting u. . . Coz if he trys playing games wif u, i'll personally cut off his left blokos!

ermmm. . .i see una o, una stil dey here? Ebi like say una sleep here.
Mk i start today on a high, abeg barman pass me one wrap of egbo (weed).

freecocoa: That this love thing on here is taken seriously and goes beyond these walls. No?

Yeah, that's exactly what i thought/meant. . .and that's because u once told me that urself. U said it was for real, and that it ain't an online thingy.

ermmm. . .where the asheis na? Today na Friday o, mk una no fall my hand o. . .ehen!
Barman, where i fit get egbo (weed), arrange me five wraps, i wan enter cloud 9.

Idowuogbo: It don dey tey wey u taste dat tin abi?

Yes na. . .hw i go do, as u no gree give me ur own mk i shine again, sotai u give me divorce letter. I gas find replacement na

acidtalk: You sure say this one no be fake too? Because the last one wey you give me if to say those aboki wey I go change am from know me well well, na kill dem for kill me.

Check am well oh!

so u wan tell me say u no fit identify real dollar bills. . . People no dey pay u in dollars ne, which kind local bar be this sef?
Anyways, tk this one, atleast u go sabi am well well *gives him N10,000*

acidtalk: Come back here. Ole!
Na so you say you wan piss that last time, you jump fence run away. Piss for your seat. If you insist say na toilet you wan use, make you kuku drop this your chink phone.

see this guy o, na me u dey follow yarn poti, dey neva yarn u say i dey roll for naira,cedi,dollar,pounds,euro,yen. . .any1 wey u want, jst name am.
Na becoz i tk 8 jugs of Sapele water wey no cost more than £20 na im mk u dey do face lyk gorilla wey wan born?
Anywayz tk this one hold body 1st *pulls out five twenty-dollar bills*. If i don exhaust am holla mk i give u more!

Dimples 316: @ Sexkillz

I must say that I was shocked to see you listed as a MOD, am sure you remember me from another thread where I named you as one of the culprits who has made this section unappealing and a huge turn off.

One way to transform this section would be for you to lead by example that means that;

1. You clean up your language, no more vulgarity and insults directed at people whose posts/opinions you do not agree with.

2. Show more tolerance and respect for others,by making your point without bashing.

3. And no bias as a MOD, strive to treat users the same way, don't favour some over others

That would be a start and I hope you've got the stomach for criticism without getting combative because you'll be getting a lot of that.

O'boy, this Dimple babe na die o! See as she dey speak (type) lyk say mk i dey lick her lips. . . See phonetic abeg, lyk say English na her mother tongue. Her dimples are so damn sexy!
O'gal i dey trip for u nobi small, i fit jump from third mainland bridge for u oo. Abeg date me na. . . Tnx in anticipation.

Sijo01: Hw ur day waka na @james?

mehn no waka today o. . . Na indoors tinz o.
Hw office 2day, hope say they no give u too much headache o

. . . . Sabi gal. Barman add heineken join am, she go mix the guiness with heineken!

freecocoa: You can't possibly mean that.

Cocoa dearie. . .what do u think i meant?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]You and Sexkillz can kiss my [size=44pt]WHOLE ENTIRE ARSE. [/size][/quote]Hmmmm. . . Soundz quite romantic. Dn't jst fart in their mouths o. *winks*

Sijo01: nt wrk ws nt co-operatn. ws actuali ringin because of d situatn of tins. mak u dey careful o abeg.

bck to gist, i go manage malt, oya barman, i dey wait o

Thank u vry much for ur care, i go dey watch my bck.
Barman, where u na, u no dey hear english ne. . . Abeg give her malt drink! Meanwhile i wan piss, where una toilet, abi mk i do am for these empty bottles.

Sijo01:


help me beg bar man mak him giv me fanta, since em nor gree giv me coffee.

hw ur crib na, hope no lele?

barman, abeg no vex, give her smirnoff ice n malt.
My crib no too mk sense o, na 24hr house arrest we dey since monday, bt we dey God hand sha
BS: tnx for ur holla @my digit, though i no hear wetin u bn dey yarn, i do appreciate!

Sijo01: No yawa. but bfor i go sip d mixtur, alomo dey shark?

wetin be alomo+coffee combo?
Abeg come sit dwn for my table mk we sip Sapele water together. . . Ogbeni, barman bring three more jugs.
BS: Hw work na, hope say ur boss no dey nack u akpako o.
@acidtalk, TGIF hope say asheis go plenty diz nite, mk we carry go warm body for weekend. . . Meanwhile, abeg pass Goldie come my side mk me ma sample are honie-well.

Errmm. . . Abeg barman u get Sapele water? Bring five jugs sharp sharp!
@acidtalk, no ashewo for this ur joint. . . Wetin person go use clear eyes when e start to dirty?

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]Sexkillz.......Cindy..........James
Leave me alone......I am throwin Chima's fave Chelsea shit out the door.
Let me vex ooo[/quote]Hey, take it easy dearie. . . Sha no throway 'em go too far oo

freecocoa: Seriously?

yeah. . .like seriously!