₦airaland Forum

I'm a Muslim and without any regrets, irrespective of the undoings of some bad eggs among us. As for those blabbing that every Muslim is a potential terrorist, I have grown beyond engaging those people and would rather ignore them.

Farouk's case is most likely to be a case of overzealousness or youthful exuberance or exaggerated piety. It is most condemnable and embarrassing.

As for his father, Alhaji Muttalab, I only pity the man. The man is arguably the north's most experienced banker and a former MD of UBA and until last week Chairman of First bank.


And the claim that he was the one that recommended Sanusi appears true. I remember reading the full story in, I think, TELL or Newswatch soem months ago. Yar'adua, worried by the situation in the banking sector, I read, contacted Muttalab as the north's leading and most experienced banker and asked him, who do you think can do the job effectively, and he advised yar'adua that he knew one boy, very brilliant and has a non-nonsense mien, hsi name is Lamido Sanusi. That was how Yar'adua invited SLS and spoke with him and got the job unsolicited.

Still on Farouk, the father had already raised alarm over some extreme religios views of the boy months ago, as reported in this Thisday report:

The older Mutallab was said to be devastated on hearing the news of Abdul Farouk's attempted bombing and arrest. A source close to him said he was surprised that after his reports to the US authorities, the young man was allowed to travel to the United States.

The family home of the Mutallabs in Central London, is currently being searched by men of the Metropolitan Police.
THISDAY checks reveal that the suspect, Abdulfarouk  Umar Muttalab who is an engineering student at the University College, London had been noted for his extreme views on religion since his secondary school days at the British International School, Lome, Togo.

At the secondary school, he was known for preaching about Islam to his school mates and he was popularly called “Alfa”, a local coinage for Islamic scholar. After his secondary school, the suspect went to University College London to study engineering and later relocated to Egypt, and then Dubai. While in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, he declared to his family members that he did not want to have anything to do with any of them again.

On Sanusi, I have read much of Sanusi's writings on Islamic issues(many of which I still have on my system as I type now) and know his views and I'm pretty sure he will never approve suicide bombing of any form.

And on a personal note now, I always appreciate silverspoons trying to uphold their religious beliefs in the midst of distracting wealth. It's rare and most children from stupendously rich homes tend not to care about religion, Islam especially. However one trend I have observed these days, like the case of farouk, is that some of them go to the extreme. I remember reading how the son of a former governor of Kwara state also joined a boko-haramesque sect some years ago and was caught, alongside others, training in Adamawa/cameroun border. It's a pity.

I'm a Muslim and without any regrets, irrespective of the undoings of some bad eggs among us. As for those blabbing that every Muslim is a potential terrorist, I have grown beyond engaging those people and would rather ignore them.

Farouk's case is most likely to be a case of overzealousness or youthful exuberance or exaggerated piety. It is most condemnable and embarrassing.

As for his father, Alhaji Muttalab, I only pity the man. The man is arguably the north's most experienced banker and a former MD of UBA and until last week Chairman of First bank.


And the claim that he was the one that recommended Sanusi appears true. I remember reading the full story in, I think, TELL or Newswatch soem months ago. Yar'adua, worried by the situation in the banking sector, I read, contacted Muttalab as the north's leading and most experienced banker and asked him, who do you think can do the job effectively, and he advised yar'adua that he knew one boy, very brilliant and has a non-nonsense mien, hsi name is Lamido Sanusi. That was how Yar'adua invited SLS and spoke with him and got the job unsolicited.

Still on Farouk, the father had already raised alarm over some extreme religios views of the boy months ago, as reported in this Thisday report:

The older Mutallab was said to be devastated on hearing the news of Abdul Farouk's attempted bombing and arrest. A source close to him said he was surprised that after his reports to the US authorities, the young man was allowed to travel to the United States.

The family home of the Mutallabs in Central London, is currently being searched by men of the Metropolitan Police.
THISDAY checks reveal that the suspect, Abdulfarouk Umar Muttalab who is an engineering student at the University College, London had been noted for his extreme views on religion since his secondary school days at the British International School, Lome, Togo.

At the secondary school, he was known for preaching about Islam to his school mates and he was popularly called “Alfa”, a local coinage for Islamic scholar. After his secondary school, the suspect went to University College London to study engineering and later relocated to Egypt, and then Dubai. While in Dubai in the United Arab Emirates, he declared to his family members that he did not want to have anything to do with any of them again.

On Sanusi, I have read much of Sanusi's writings on Islamic issues(many of which I still have on my system as I type now) and know his views and I'm pretty sure he will never approve suicide bombing of any form.

madlady:



@Poster I would like to change mine also. madlady don tire me o.

So do I have to contact the Owner? not sure I will do that if that's the case.

No two ways about it. It the forum owner(Admin) that can do it for you.

Haba, this is serious . . . .

It's the spambot at work. I have also fallen victim a number of times. It auto-deletes posts taht look like spam, like copying and pasting from a site, long typing etc.
Next time you are typing long post, you may copy and save a copy on Word so that you if Spambot catches it, you will ahve access to what you typed.
I don't have power over this, maybe higher authorities can help.

noetic15:
whaooo whaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo so because of those two posts lagosboy is the best poster and the likes of olabs, babs and abuzola deserve no mention. Permit me to officially state that u are the least intelligent person alive today.

Lagosboy post was neither informative, authoritative and neither does it present any convictions worth replying to. . . how then did these two posts make him worthy of nomination at the expense of others? anybody with half a brain could have made the assertions on those two links. . .that probably explained why they moved u so much that u could boast of them.

1. when did the criteria become being active all year round? should the criteria not be the quality of the posts? is it too much to expect u to see things from an intelligent approach?

2. Abuzola caused trouble simply for expressing himself and defending his beliefs?. . .can u hear urself? u belong to the stone ages

3. wisdom is expensive. had u being wise, u would have stated in your OP the basis for each nominee making the final list and would have included olabs, babs, abuzola, oyb and maybe fellis and the_seeker . . . . . since they spread across the various qualities that should be attached to the winner.

But since u lack wisdom, your inefficacy and fallacy is allowed.

4. There is none of these people (olabs, abuzola, babs) I have ever agreed with in the course of discussion/debate on NL. . . .but it is pertinent to give honour to whom it is due. If there is anyone who has made the islam section informative, thought provoking and worth visiting in 2009 . . it is these three persons. But of course they have a close to dumb moderator who lacks the required wisdom to decipher the imminent truth.

Ordinarily, I don't bulge to criticisms on NL, especially from an intellectually-challenged fellow like you. You have a rich history of stalking me on NL and I have always ignored you, but when you made that your first post in this thread, I thought you came here with your brain, but you have proved to me that you still come here with your sense off. I'm done with you. Go and jump into the sea, my decision here is final.

Yeee, this thread don reach page 2.

Barka jum'ah to my Muslim brothers and sisters.

noetic15:
1. is this not plainly DUMB  if olabs is so good that he does not deserve your award. . .what then is the essence of your award? is this dude educated at all? 

2. I beg your pardon. in what light and on what basis can u jejunically misinform that lagosboy or muhsin make meaningful posts?
if the criteria is simply the defence of islam,  .why is abuzola or babs787 not on the list? if the criteria is knowledge why is olabs not on the list? at least non-muslims can testify to abuzola and babs 787 endlessly defending their beliefs. . .we can also testify to olabs making analysis that reflects his world view and his strong convictions. . .but who the heck is lagosboy and muhsin? 

3. muhsin can be credited for his haddith copy-paste. ,  but of what significance is lagosboy to this forum? 

Lagosboy: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-274394.0.html  and https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-359506.0.html
You definitely know next to nothing about this section.

Babs was not so active towards the end of the year. Abuzola tried but he caused too much troubles to be considered for award, the two folks nominated are more civil and mature in their approach.

Salam sister ****, I'm sorry I just got your message despite the fact that you had sent it since Monday.

Having read extensively on the subject Jinn and how they affect human life, especially women and children, and having spoken with Islamic scholars that deal with jinn in the light of Qur'an and Sunnah, I honestly think it is Jinn that is disturbing you.

I have heard directly from victim's mouth, from scholars that treated it and read from books similar cases. One of the treacheries of the evil Jinns is that they like to spoil homes and create enmity among loved ones. Let me narrate a case that happened somewhere in northern Nigeria few years ago:

The lady is a daughter of a popular rich man in the north. She was married to a Chartered Accountant. But almost every night she had nightmare, seeing her father romancing her and having sex with her. When later in the night, the husband approached her, she would have lost interest, already wet. The husband was worried and accused her of infidelity. Later the lady confessed to her husband what had been happening. They were confused. They approached an Islamic ustaz that is learned in Jinn issues(Pls note, not every Muslim ustaz deals with Jinn-it's a specialist field). To cut the long story short, the scholar, through application of the prophetic methodology for the treatment of Jinn affliction, wasa ble to cast the Jinn away. The Jinn confessed that it wanted to cause enmity/family division between the lady, her husband and her father. And truly, the lady could have thought her father was the actual person appearing to her and accost him and family vendetta arises. Meanwhile, the father was innocent, didn't knwo anything about it.

Go through this thread and read my expose on this same subject sometime ago: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-209195.0.html

We will exchange further communication through the mail you sent to me and we may need to speak on phone, but in the mean time, let me offer the following advice:

-Always perform ablution before you sleep
-Recite Ayatul Kursiyyu, Suratul falaq and nas, and last two verses of Suratul baqarah before you sleep. It works great wonders.
-Keep away pictures of animate objects
-If there is anything fetish(like charm) in your house, pls destroy it(reciting Suratul falaq and nas while doing so)
-Don't joke with remembrance of Allah. Say your salats at their right times, do plenty nawafil
-Have strong faith and trust in Allah as the ultimate one that can cure you of this affliction

We will speak insha Allah.

A sister who doesn't want her name mentioned sent this:

sallama aleikum.my name is *****,i saw your thread on nairaland and i think i should share my worries with you guys.am in my early twenty and am engage to a guy and we are planning to get married in febuary.i always have this nitemare,that am getting married to someone else or carrying another man's baby.am very confused,i need prayers.thank you am waiting for your reply[size=12pt][/size].

Please and please, only very serious advice is needed. You can give your advice openly here but if you need to speak with the sister or send her an email, send me an email on jarusnairaland@yahoo.com and I will link you up with her.

noetic15:
can anyone reference a meaningful post from lagosboy?
when has muhsin ever made a sensible analysis, except for copy-paste haddiths?. . . . . .but considering that the shortlist was made by jarus. . . . . . .would one expect an intelligent approach?

and why is olabowale not on the list?

Olabowale remains the top islamic poster on this forum. you can forgive his long posts but his maturity, simplicity, opinionated personality and convictions coupled with the enormous respect he commands across the forum stands him out. . . . .who the heck is jarus, muhsin or lagosboy?

Much as I  owe nobody any explanation for my short list, you for that matter, for the sake of other curious people who might want to ask same question, I will try and offer a three-line explanation.

I deliberately left Olabs out because none of us here is in his class in knowledge, wisdom and even age. Such people are called statemen in political firmament, veterans or Doyen in professional parlance. He has been passionately defending Islam here almost since inception of the forum. He has become an institution. It will therefore be a mismatch putting his name up there with those two trying young men.

And lest I forget, I can keep silent on your diatribe on me, but not on Lagosboy and Muhsin. I can only believe reason deserted you when making such statement, because only a blind visitor to this section will say Muhsin and Lagosboy don't make meaningful posts.

akintun:
Reasons

1. North Korea- Have the same stamina and mental alertness as the South Koreans.
2. Switzerland- Defeated the Greece during the qualifiers
3. Brazil - They have self confidence and also possess the same type of superiority complex as the Argentines when paying against an African opposition.

I agree with you.

tamedo:
SWW Jarus and all,
Let me first say that you are not wrong by taking beauty as 1 of the factors to be considered for the one you want to marry. When Shaikh Salih al-Munajid was talking about the qualities a man should look for in the sister he wants to marry, he said(among other things) "she should be beautiful because that will bring tranquillity to him and be more helpful in lowering the gaze and more likely to bring about love." The important thing is that it is wrong for you to make beauty your highest priority.
When Islam enjoined making a good choice of husband and wife, the most important factor in choosing is good character and religious commitment.As narrated by al-Tirmidhi. And it is proven in al-Saheehayn and elsewhere from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women may be married for four things: their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
Men choose women mainly according to their own desires , traditions, and customs, but his advice to all men is to look, as the highest priority, for the woman who is religiously committed and marry them, because in marrying such a woman there is a great deal of good which the man will see in himself, his house and his children.
Jarus, one very important step is missing in your actions. it is the quest for divine guidance. No matter how intelligent a person may be there is a limit to what he can know about the person he wants to marry or what may become of the relationship in the future. The only One that knows all these is Allaah(SWT). Even if you think you have seen everything you want in a sister, there is the need for you to do istikhaara for you want to go into a life-time contract. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Salami (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:“The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to teach his companions to make istikhaarah in all things, just as he used to teach them soorahs from the Qur’aan." However good a person may be, I make bold to say that the efficiency of his knowledge minus the sufficiency of Allaah's divine guidance will definately result in a defficiency.
To sum it up, my advice is that you create time to make proposals, consider only what Islam permites to be considered in a sister for marriage, seek Allaah's guidance and, insha Allaah success will be yours. May Allaah guide your steps.

W/Salam Tamedo,
Honestly, I don't joke with prayers. I used to seek Allah's guidance in this marital issue, and in fact do istikhara when/before approaching any of them, and that is why if my efforts fail at last, I have a shock absorber in the fact that Allah has destined the lady is not mine. It is only human to make efforts, and get reasonably worried when it's not working. I have never faltered in my belief that whoever Allah destined for me will miss me.

Hmmn, we had our end of the year party at Civic centre yesterday. The economic climate has not been funny so it was low key compared to last year's. We can't afford to spend so much resources on entertainment this year. So unlike last year when 9ice, Olu Maintain, P-Square, Kate Henshaw etc smiled to bank with our millions, Banky W was the only big artiste that came to entertain us, plus a number of Grade B entertainers. It was fun sha. The company has officially shut down till next year but we finance will still have to be coming to work, although in casual and not in normal working hours, to wrap up our year end accounts.

Will you consider yourself as a handsome guy? Do other people say you are sooo handsome? Remember Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I ask this since beauty is an essential ingredient for you because you know that the beautiful person may also be seeking the like.

LOL
I knew somebody will ask me this  . I'm not as handsome as David Beckham or those Fulani boys, but I'm not ugly. Ok, let me go quantitative and score myself 6.5/10 in handsomeness. I'm however a good dresser. Secondly, I have friends that are not more handsome than me but got very beautiful sisters. Honestly, I don't believe a man needs to be extremely handsome to hook a beautiful sister, once one doesn't have any physical deformity. And that Nupe queen, HM, would surely not have expressed her love for me if she wanted a man matches her beauty.

If your family has issues about Lagos sisters for instance, has it occured to you that the Northern (Fulani/Nupes) sisters' families may have issues with you being Ilorin Yoruba?

Exactly. In fact, more issues. But I was always ready to try my best(like daring to meet HM's aunty and family), but when my best does not yield the result, I bow out(like HM again) and accept Qadar.

I disagree with you that money cannot win love. I can authoritatively speak on my Northern Muslim sisters ( the beautiful ones). If a girl is beautiful, even if from a poor family, she will marry up (financially) not down.

I disagree again. From my experience, I stick to my belief that money cannot win love. If a lady doesn't love you, no matter how much you spend on her, she will not love you. There are exceptions of course, but I've seen enough to believe in thsi theory.

So in the case of ALY, I believe that you were outspent. I hope it doesn't sound harsh but that's my opinion. It is not easy to become non choosy overnight I am sure you'll find one or 2 useful points here.

No. Money was never the reason she left me for the Alhaji. It was more of her aversion for Yoruba men and her Mum not supporting me again(it led to little disagreement between both families-remember, they are our family friends). She told my sisters(who are her friends) that she can never marry a Yoruba, that the cultural thing is too much. But I thought her mind had changed when she accepted my proposal, but unknown to me, she was deceiving me and collecting my money. She exploited my false notion that money can make her love me, while actually loving the Hausa man who didn't spend on her. She actually doesn't have a good character, sincerely, because it's very hard for me to believe a serious Muslim lady, raised in the north for that matter(this my wrong notion has since been demystified) could be dating two different men, collecting money from one.

After marriage, what is your aim?
A united family with many long happy years?
A short lived marriage but to a beauty queen?
A long lived marrigae plus misery because wife cannot stand hubby?

A united family with many long happy years to a beauty lady(not nercessarily queen). It's very possible.

sirabbey:
These guys must be from outer space or something voting for another person when their name is on the nominees list. where is Pa Obj to train this unpolitical animals on "do-or-die pol 101"
Anyway this go to show that there is hope for the Nigerian nation, if our youths refuse to toe the line of our woeful fathers.

It is called objectivity and maturity and it is only in career section you can have that.

@Topic,
I honestly think It's Mamagee

I appreciate the advices and comments of every one.

I agree I'm very choosy, in fact over choosy. And I think that is my bane. My sister-in-law was accusing me of same some days ago and I agreed. It's just difficult to drop that 'beauty' quality.

Zayhal, I appreciate your kind advice. Public presentability as a factor in choosing wife is no doubt unbecoming of a Muslim. I totally agree. I just have to sit down and make a rethink and set my priorities right. But the issue is that I always believe I can see a lady who will satisfy all the conditions(e.g that Nupe lady, HM), so something just keeps telling me, keep trying, whereas time is going.

Some lessons I have learnt which I believe others here can also learn from:
-Money can never win you love. In ALY's case, I spent heavily on her but I realized she didn't love me. The reverse is the case in JY, she never demanded anything from me, but she almost died because of me. I just found it difficult to like her
-It is very hard to get a partner taht has 100% of what you are looking for.
-It is still difficult for some Muslims, despite their Islamic understanding, to drop tribal considerations

muhsin:
Can a nominee vote himself?

Yes

tkb417:
i was thinking i'll be nominated in the sexuality section but omo, so many experienced perverts boku for tht side
den no even look ma side

ROTLMAO

At least you have two nominations: Sports and Career.

By the way, I'm surprised I did not see Brash nominated anywhere. What is happening to the most ubiquitous folk on NL?

tos:
I think you should look for another tutors to coach you. There are very good ones around - Wyse, Pye and the one at Surulere (I've forgotten the name). Please dont listen to Jarus on his tale about how simple the exams are. The exams can only be made simple by adequate preparation. Try to ask questions in class and partcipate in group discussions with your mates. This will give you the opportunity of identifying areas of the syllabus where you are weak and others will be able to help you out as well.

Please dont give up after passing intermediate. I am not sure which professional body will give any meaningful exemptions for intermediate level.

Also note that passing Costing and Auditing is not a prerequisite for passing FA or Tax (especially) as they are not entirely related.

I have never advised anybody not to prepare. I have always believed that no matter how brilliant you are, you just have to prepare. No two ways about it. I was just trying to advise on the easiest preparation he can make - "Go through enough past questions and examine the solutions. You don't need any cramming, just understand the principles, just familiarize yourself with major topics".

I have never been a believer in over-studying. I go for the shortest possible cut - treat past questions, roughly cover major topics and relax, especially when I don't have much time.
I have never attended any ICAN class yet I have 3 ICAN prizes under my belt, including Overall Best candidate in one of the diets.

Also, I didn't say Costing and Auditing are prerequisites for passing FA and Tax. I just felt the former are simpler than the latter, and trying to build a 'if-I-can-pass-x-why-can't-I-pass-Y' spirit in her.

What of we Finance?

Common sense is truly uncommon. Must you start a thread?

aysometin:
Lawyer,

You should be nominated
Can't Mods win awards??

There is another award for best Mod. It's coming soon.

Dclique:
My votes goes to adebayo. Mehn, that guy is pissing me off. Imagine just coming to a thread an putting only a fullstop or comma, as a post.

I thought I was the only one observing that guy o. orisirisi eeyan po ni nairaland yi o

The search continues

RYB: I met this lady recently and she is a very brilliant medical student of Unilorin. We are from the same town in Kwara, but she's Ilorin based. She is very mature(more mature than her age) and intelligent, partly omo ajebutta. She is not bad in beauty and very brilliant, the type I had always wanted. I made serious efforts on her, including speaking with her uncle etc, but it's been to no avail, she was already dating another man.

So this is how difficult it is to get a lady? I never believed it can get to this stage. Even my friends that have not gotten jobs all have great sisters and some have already done introduction. Not even the fact I have a good job, use a good car, comes from a reputable family(at least in my town), trying Islamically, has a history of good character(at least those that did research about me say they got good recommendation about me) has been able to work for me.

Got to go and pray Monghrib. BRB

JY: It got to a stage that I became so desperate and my close friends started networking for me. I was introduced to this lady, who is also from my town in Kwara but grew up in Niger state(what is wrong with me and Niger state. This is the third from that state, and the 4th is coming). She really liked me(the one that liked me most of all ladies I have come across). She is also a FUT Minna student. But she had fallen so much in love with me. She is no doubt a wife material, very submissive and not materialistic. But I have one or two unsatisfactory things about her past. She is also not well grounded enough in Islamic understanding, including leaving her hair open where she is not meant to. She's also not brilliant enough for my liking and murder English language(I'm sorry, it will be difficult presenting her in the midst of my friends). She is also too submissive for my liking. She never had a contrary idea to mine, even when I'm plainly wrong. I realized if I marry her, I'll just enslave her. Coupled with the fact that she fell somehow short on the standard of beauty I look for, I can't help telling her off. She cried and begged but marriage is a lifetime contract I can't afford to act on sympathy consideration. Back to square one.

FS: This one was my faculty mate in my university days. She was a beautiful Muslim lady, I wont lie, I used to admire throughout our days in the university, but I never approached her(I never approached any lady throughout my 5 years in Uni, except FA I attempted in my final year), partly because I knew any relationship I started in the university was most likely not going to be serious and I wasn't given to frivolities. Sometime early this year when the active struggle continued, I jammed her and started making efforts on her. Everything appeared working for me when I had a clash with her brother, and she also supported him. Her brother did not like me and I know he will stand against me. When I realized the brother was taking it too far with me, I called the bluff of all of them. Ale t'ori pa fe jeran ka pe maalu ni boda. That was how that one also scattered. Back, again, to square one.

HM: Met her during service year in Sokoto and I just can't help admiring this Nupe lady. She is a very brilliant and mature lady taht has Masters in Architecture from FUT Minna. I'm not exaggerating, she's the most beautiful lady I have ever come across and also the most religious of all the ladies that caught my attention. She has a very good understanding of Islam. But because I was already dating ALY, I tried to ignore her and controlled myself even though she was far better than ALY. No sooner than ALY issued me red card that HM came back to my head. I still had her phone no in my phone. So I began efforts to have this Bida princess. I travelled all the way from Lagos to Minna via Abuja to go and see her. There is tribal difference but I know I can surmount that from my own side. After enough persuasion I know my own family will allow me to marry her. But the wahala is from her side. I spoke with her aunty(a bank manager with Skye bank), her sister etc to help convince her parent, but all my efforts met brick wall. They can't trust their daughter with a Yoruba guy, moreso being from a royal family, she must marry a Nupe lady. Na wa o. It was difficult losing a lady that also loved me that much to one tribal nonsense.

FA: This one was my junior and Ife and one of the Hajias that turned me down during the final year scramble. Well, later when I started working, she made efforts to get me back but it was too late. One, she's too exposed and too lousy for my liking. Two, she's too Lagos for my parents' liking. She is from Lagos state. I don't trust her.

I however got the shock of my life when I got info that she was already about to do introduction with one Alhaji in Niger state. The thing pain me no be small o. So this lady has been deceiving me all this while. It led to a small quanta between our family nad theirs. Remember they are our family friend. To cut the long story short, she is doing her wedding this Friday in Niger state. But I thank God, it didn't work out as I got to know one or two things about her later that I doubt if she would have been the best for me, especially excessive love for money and material things.

I had thought and planned by the end of 2009, I would have settled down and cross that bridge, but everything has just been moving back and forth.

I recovered and moved on with my life. My service year in the north had exposed me to beautiful, Muslim northern ladies and my attention shifted to the north. My main shortcoming(if it's a shortcoming really) is that I don't want to trade beauty for anything except Islam. She must be a Muslim of course, but must also be beautiful. In corporate environment, I can't afford to go a partner whose presentability I cannot be proud of. I became ultra-selective and maybe that is why I am where I still am today.

ALY's case marked the beginning of a series of endless search for the right Hajia and I have had my fair share of deception, disappointment, fruitless chase etc.

Wanting to please my parents and family, I told my mum, aunties and step mothers to help find a good, beautiful Muslim lady.
One thing led to the other and I was introduced to this partly Yoruba, partly Fulani lady[ALY-initials] last week of 2006. Her mum was a family friend(a Yoruba) but her Dad, a Fulani from Niger state. She is beautiful. We talked and we got along. Later, I quit my pre-NYSC job and proceeded on NYSC in Sokoto state. Distance was a great problem but we spoke on phone everyday. I spent a year in Sokoto and returned to secure another job in a company in the downstream sector. This was mid-2008 and we had been together for more than year. My own parents were already talking about introduction and all that, but her mother, our family friend, started behaving funny. She also started behaving funny to me. She got provoked at the slightest provocation, and the next thing she said after a little disagreement was 'let's call it quit'. By this time, I had fallen so much in love with her that anytime we quarelled, I will not be able to eat for hours. I observed she suddenly became unusually demanding. Anytime she wanted to come and visit her Aunty in Lagos, I paid for her flights from Lagos to Abuja and back. I also bought a lot of things for her. Northern ladies are expensive o. I spent close to 300K on her but I realized she wasn't appreciative. She didn't send me at all.

I have typed the full story but will be dropping them in bits.