₦airaland Forum

I concur 110% with mr Joe.

It still beats me why the woman Essien is the one arrested and not the jealous 'murderer'? Or was she not the one who ran out to call for local 911 'help'?.Naija police,hmmm!!!

I find this funny but also informative i think id share with NL to make your day fun.
Read,enjoy and share.


Dear System Department
I am desperate for some help! Please can someone
help out?
I recently upgraded my program from girlfriend 5.0
to wife 1.0 and found that the new program began
unexpected child processing and also took up a lot
of space and valuable resources.
This was not mentioned in the product brochure in
addition wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
programs and launches during system
initializations and then it monitors all other system
activities. Applications such as ‘Boys’ Night out 2.5
and Golf 5.3 no longer run and crashes the system
whenever selected.
Attempting to operate selected ‘Saturday rugby
6.3’ always fails and ‘Saturday shopping 7.1’ run
instead. I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the
background whilst attempting to run any of my
favorite applications. Be its on-line or off-line.
I am thinking of going back to ‘Girlfriend 5.0’ but
uninstall doesn’t work on this program. Can you
please help?
The Analyst replied
Dear customer
This is a very common problem resulting from a
basic misunderstanding of the functions of the wife
1.0 program. Many customers upgrade from
‘Girlfriend 5.0’ to ‘wife 1.0’ thinking that ‘wife 1.0’
is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT
PROGRAM.
Actually, ‘wife 1.0’ is an operating system designed
by it’s creator to run everything. You are unlikely to
be able to purge ‘wife 1.0’ and still convert back to
‘Girlfriend 5.0’ as ‘wife 1.0’ was not designed to do
this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge
the program files from the system once it is
installed. Some people have tried to install
‘Girlfriend 6.0’ or ‘wife 2.0’ but have ended up with
even more problems.
Having ‘wife 1.0’ installed, I recommend you keep
it installed and deal with the difficulties as best as
you can. When any faults or problems occur,
whatever you think has caused them, you must
run the C:\APLOGIZE\FORGIVE\ ME PROGRAM and
avoid attending to use the *Esc (escape) key for it
will freeze the entire system(admit your fault as
iron it out). It may be necessary to run C:
\APLOGIZE\PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR A NUMBER OF
TIMES, and eventually hope that the operating
system will return to normal “wife 1.0”, although a
very high maintenance program can be very
rewarding. And the benefits are so great. Long life
and rest of mind.
To get the most out of it, consider buying
additional software such as “flowers 2.0” and
chocolate or “HUGS\KISSES 100%” or
“TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 100%(care) or
ever “eating out without the kids 5.1.2” (if child
processing has already started) DO NOT under any
circumstances install “secretary 2.1 (short skirt
version) or “one night stand 3.2”, as this is not a
supported application for “wife 1.0” and the system
will almost certainly CRASH. BEST OF LUCK
YOUR SYSTEM ANALYST
Caution
Any attempt to install program such as secretary
2.1 (the short skirt version) or one nightstand 3.2
to wife 1.0 is most likely to get result that might
expose your system to run immediately
demobilizing virus that completely destroy the
defense of your software and ultimately, but surely
leads to destruction of the hardware, the virus
called HIV 99.9.
(Written by Fashola Yetunde)
41 minutes ago
Like · 3 Comments · Share

frosbel: man made denominations have no business and authority dictating rules and regulations to MEN.

This is the exact definition of DOCTRINE![i][/i]

afamgod: @Lastpage and jidewin, I quite understand you guys, but am afraid if am going to do this for the rest of my life. i.e begging and sayin sorry.

Sometimes drastic situation requires drastic action.If you want it to end,it is high time you take the bull by the horn.Now is the time to be a drama queen. Lock both entrance and exit door.Confront him. Tell him what you've observed and feel and why his childish attitude must come to an end whenever there is misunderstanding between the two of you.It is your marital right.
He is your husband and you are his partner not his slave or daughter.In your course of display let him also know you love him but so far you are loosing it as each seconds pass by.And if he wants to end the union he should come out with it.But the silent treatment must end,and i mean NOW!. For God sake you are human and you have feelings too.Why would you grow older than your age by bottling up and keeping malice??. Now is the time for showdown.
Let us know how it goes.

sylvia78: Thank you.

I never said i was completely without fault.He is 8 years older than me i'm in my early 30s, and i have never intentionally committed any grave offence that would warrant such treatment from him . Like i said, each time we had a misunderstanding,he would shut me out for a long time and i will have to beg sometimes all night just to ensure that we sort out the issue. This wasn't a case of infidelity like some people might assume,in fact if there is anyone who has ever been found guilty in that aspect is him. I have caught him several times,heard and seen evidences and each time i tried express my displeasure,i got all sorts of treatment from him including being beaten up. This happened on two occations.

Right now,while i'm hoping that things get sorted out somehow,i am also carrying on with my life. My parents have on several occasions tried to call him to order but he changed his numbers. His people too have claimed they cant get through to him.

I would never suggest silent treatment as a way of sorting out marital issues, because it only escalates issues and makes the paties involved strangers to each other.Whtaever the problem is, its better to talk about it,if neccessary bring in an elderly person depending on the gravity of the problem

Sylvia, that name gives me memories.Its unfortunate what you are going through,In fact i asked myself, what if you are blood sister,what shall i say? This is what i came up with.
Your hubby have emotional issues.Seriously,how can someone be that stiff neck What sin could have been committed against one that could be so great you find very and i mean very hard to let go?.
Now here's my advise,If you have a job, good,focus on improving your status-quo (acquire more qualifications).If you have the means,abeg hit the gym.YES. You will meet ladies and men who wouldn't mind spending time with you or the other way round.I'm certain he is keeping a tab somehow on you while you must carry on with your life like you too don't care anymore.
IF he doesn't bulge before we proceed into the 'ember period', my sister, start dating.You only live once.

R.I.P

Not a member of DLBC but seriously,the church's decision after their apology is to the extreme.Haba!

sylvia78: I can relate to this topic. I recently separated from my hubby of three years because of his childish character. Each time we had a misunderstanding, he wouldnt speak with me for weeks and even months.

I moved out because we had a misunderstanding and he just shut me out completely for four months. He stopped eating at home,stop associating with me in anyway, even stopped touching me.

I tried severaly tried to talk things over with him but he wouldnt budge. Several times i cried and begged him to forgive whatever i might have done to deserve such treatment,but nothing.

I left for my parents place with hope that he would at least come to report to my parents and hopefully we would resolve it. But a year and half later, he hasnt even called to know where i am and what am doing. Even his people cant get in touch with him.

All this epistle is just to show what harm 'silent treatment' can cause in a marriage.

Sister,
I pray your marriage be restored but you need to have what I call OPEN COMMUNICATION in your relationship. It means when you and your partner notice something unpleasant and could not stomach it,VOICE it, but not vehemently.
Breakdown in communication is the catalyst for wider gaps between you and your partner. Never stop talking in your relationship. women brain are mentally designed to talk (and don't they enjoy it)and sometime says hurtful things,yet expect their partner to listen. Its a natural phenomenon with women. And if you feel you can voice out.Write your feelings on paper or send him sms,short messages how you feel.
A loving and caring partner would not shun his spouse after attempts to end the conflict between them. Pride as I've come to learn must not be allowed to have a hold in any union.
Unless you've done something so wrong,such as infidelity and your spouse decided to end the union.But for him to lock out even your people from reaching,nah nah,that's to the extreme.
Wish you success eventually.

afamgod: I'm new on this forum and this is my 1st comment on any post.
Talkin about silent treament, i tink my husband & i deservs an award. Agreed is somethin terrible, but we cant help it. His so good at it that he can go for months, until am able to call him to reasons. Infact he does it to neighbours too. Currently we're at it for no big cause and i'm 31weeks pregnant and ve decided 2 keep that way till i deliver my baby. Is there any other way out of this silent treatment without having to beg for a problem that was no cause of mine or having to say sorry when am not really 'sorry'?

Sis,you are playing a very dangerous game. Read the ops statement again about the silent treatment for a "short while".
Even to those yet to be married but are on line towards walking down the isle,PRIDE in either or both parties makes the SILENT treatment prolonged.
To end the war,sometimes,its good to simply take a note and write how you feel,include the affects of the non-verbal communication in the message and how well you too could continue with it,pin it somewhere conspicuous where your partner may see it and end it with "I'm sorry too, but I still do love you".
Words,whether written or verbal are quite powerful. Never allow Silent Treatment to go on for so long.

Ojeremi: Here in OAUTHC we perform renal transplant routinely. Patients are sent from different parts of this nation even neighborhood just for less than 4m.i don't understand why we like to waste resources abroad. Don't forget Stella OBJ died after surgery abroad. Let's have faith in our hospitals.
Maybe they need to travel to USA to treat malaria.

God bless you..I was just going to state late stellas case,despite the condusive enviroment,equipments,and the hard currency from our oil money.
Nigerians,let's believe In our positive abilities.

[quote author=Mr.l2mo]Is it sin τ̲̅ȍ
Play or dance outright makosa\hip hop? If it is sin,can we not then avoid any appearances of it,even in the church of God. And mind you all,every music has its spirit,imagine dancing atiliogwu in the church.[/quote]L.O.L...your last line made me laugh so hard...well,if there's a chance to organise a gospel music concert with various tribes for display,atilogwu dances would not be only entertaining but also captivating.Those dance steps are not for overweighed people.

I believe Music originated from heaven,hijacked by the devil and modified into various genres for whatever reason.
However,if the church take back what's theirs originally and use it for praises and worship, definately wrong!

nikkykay: Dnt mind ds ignorants
Society my foot
Society is not responsible for my baby so why shld i care about society.

And in this context you and those that reason like yóu are the ignorants.
Can you raise a child in isolation and outside society?.How yóur child relates and behaves in the society is a direct pointer to his/ her upbringing. Besides,I stand by my point to which you openly admitted on this forum "you made a mistake".Would any of yóu here singing "single motherhood" as if its an easy concept and culture raise your daughters to become single moms??.
Prevent unwanted pregnancies with irresponsible boys/men than aborting or raising kids for or with them,Period. Why is that so difficult to comprehend?.

If your choice is to have a child without a father figure its clearly YOUR CHOICE but be prepared to face the consequences in future. And if you made an error,strive to learn from it and prevent a repeat.

geoger: No woman would love to raise her child or children without the help of the other person.but what if something happened along the way. here is my story, plz I need ur suggestions becos I don't know what I am becoming.my husband and I got married traditionally. we traveled abroad together, we lived as husband and wife for 8months, he bought a ring for me and for himself. our pastor then bless us as husband and wife, so we still live together for another 2Months before I became pregnant. all this while I never knew my husband has a problem of abuse. I was six months pregnant when we had our first quarrel. I gave birth to a baby boy. my baby was 2Months, when he beat me for no good reason he abused me verbally. due to the place we r staying I don't speak the language and their is nobody to run to I stayed with him and the abuse continued, when I call my parents they will only talk what he tell them is what I don't know sometimes they will even blame me. so that make me to stay for years been abuse by the man I love. after five-years we came back to Nigeria. we stay together for months and he left me and the children and went back although he sent money for our feeding. he came back after one year to rent a house for me and the kids. he stayed two months wit us. he will be aside the whole day coming back home sometimes 11pm. his phone never rest, women call him when ever.he still beat me up becos I answer his phone a lady was calling him around 10.45pm, and he is sleeping, she called 3times the fourth one I answered it.so the following day he without and came in and started beating me again this time in public.becos we live wit other people in our compound, some married. now he has traveled again for months now living me and the kids again. together with the shame of embracing me in the public, he even broke my phone. the told my little brother that he is go to marry another woman. my problem now is the way one woman use to talk to me. we r not quarreling but she will be talking to me indirect calling me a single mother. asking my son where is the father it really gets me angry. so plz for those of u out there who understand what am going through, plz do make ur contributions.I even saw a condom in his box.

My sister,you have endured a lot.I am not one of those who would 'advise' continue to stay with someone who is un-repentantly abusive and Its a good thing he's not always around. Been abusive is not a gender specific related issue but a mental state of emotional instability in INDIVIDUALS be it male or female.
My candid suggestion now is you create a vision for yourself which will add value to your child as well. Being a woman doesn't mean you can't have a personal vision and career for yourself. With focus,hard work,vision and prayer,nothing is impossible.Feel free to relate with me and there's a matured sister on family forum who is equally good at counsels in such cases.her ID is "devour129".Careful how you relate with some here who goes around with past emotional abuse and refuses to let go.

teemilo: This comment is the most outlandish thing I have ever read.
"Why have a child for him and face the societal criticism"

Quick answer because I am brave, courageous&full of love. Society be damned! I didn't ask to get pregnant but God forbid that I will kill my baby because his birth offends the sensibilities of some hypocrites.

My son was unplanned but not(even for a split second) unwanted

By the way,no one had a child for 'him' he might be the biological father but that does not make him God!!A child is a blessing&a responsibility from God&i had a duty to bring him to the world, his father will answer for his own actions.
It so crazy how some men think sha...

Good you find it outlandish. Let it be. If you have a child for someone whom you have no plan to raise a child with clearly defines you.
If you had a rancour with your baby father,deal with it as a personal error. For you to have referred to your baby father as 'not a God' was the exact give away from your responses. No "loving" woman who wouldn't refer to her OWN man as a God sent and a great partner.
Preventing unwanted pregnancies far outwieghs abortion. You know that and its undeniable.
Obvious you have issues with this guy and automatically has made you have distrust of men.A first year student of psychology would deduce this from your statements here. Agree It wasn't 100% your fault and at least you have a child to console you. Nurture him as much as you could,but every child needs a father figure.
Now if you think this is also crazy,you need serious laying on of hands.

[quote author=some-girl]Better to commit murder than face "societal criticism"?[/quote]Much better to PREVENT having child(ren) who may be denied family values in the context of father,mother and child than raising ones that are without. I also want to believe you know what I meant by prevention,contraceptives, and not abortion.

If indeed the crimes are proven true,especially the one that murdered a baby...I got no problem...send him to Hell fast.

Myne White: Dear Women,

First of all, we're sorry. We're sorry that although we look like men, we often act like boys. We're not even sure what it means to be men anymore. As we grow up, we learn that to be happy is to be self-indulgent and self-centered. We try to make enough money so that we can have the right TV with the right video games in the right home. We want to date you and maybe even marry you but we are scared to focus on someone else instead of ourselves. Isn't it sad that we see committing to you as a potential threat to our happiness instead of a wonderful opportunity?

Here's what we don't understand: True happiness comes from being true men. We think and act like boys who don't want their toys taken away. We look up to "role models" in the media who teach us to get as much gratification out of life as possible. We may claim to be spiritual, or even firm atheists, but pleasure is the god that we worship, whether we realize it or not. Unfortunately, women tend to be just another part of our hedonistic lifestyle. Please know this: True men won't treat you like an irritating obstacle or a sexual convenience.

A real man understands that women are to be cherished and treated with care and honor. He sees marriage as the opportunity to be a real-life superhero—he leaves behind his old identity and becomes a new person, dedicated to serving his wife and children. Although he will struggle at first, a true man who marries eventually understands that he can't fit through the narrow doorway to happiness if he tries to carry all of his toys with him. There is just enough room for him and his wife, arm in arm, committed to their marriage.

Women, you can help us become real men! Most importantly, we want to feel admired by you. Help us to know that you love us just as we are, even if there is room for improvement. Do this by giving us words of validation; praise us for the things we do well. This means more to us than we let on.

In return, we will make sure that you feel loved and cherished by us. We will learn to talk with you so you can be heard and understood, not so that we can tell you how to solve your problems. We'll also try to learn to express how we feel without withdrawing or getting angry. With polished communication we can learn that what makes you happy makes us happy too! What a concept!

Once again, we're sorry. We are to blame, even though good male role models are hard to find these days. We've ignored our calling to become true men and instead act like we're in high school for as long as we can. Please trust that we are capable of more than this.

If you are frustrated with the man in your life, do your best to forgive him and start fresh. After a while, if it's clear that he will not become a real man, leave him. You deserve better.

A healthy relationship will make everyone involved feel happy. When we are happy, we are capable of living meaningful and fulfilling lives alongside one another. Thank you for your understanding and patience as we journey onward to find happiness and become real men.

Sincerely,
Men

http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2013/06/one-man-writes-open-letter-to-women.html

You kidding, right babygal?

Greatken007: NOBODY DON MENTION MY NAME OOO...

Ewoh...good Lord those are one helluva mean,scary photos!!!!

Horus: Have you ever heard of Uhuru?. According to many South Africans, Nelson Mandela is all that stands in the way of all South African
white people being murdered. Many people in the white SA community believe "Uhuru" to be a code name for a plan to commit mass genocide against whites when Mandela dies.

Buddy its all noise and no one would do jack shyt.The media makes a whole lot of sensation about the "perceived genocide" to happen but with the SADF on ground,just take the "jist" with pinch of salt.We all go about our normal biz without fear.

Techwriter: I don't know your definition of greatness but for me the greatest man alive by human standard is Nelson Mandela. He is greatly respected by his friends and even enemies. I'm just wondering who seconds him in Africa. Well in my opinion OBJ or Pst. Adeboye of Nigeria should fit into that position judging by their unprecedented achievements in life. You may not like them but it has not stopped their achievement or influence

This is my opinion, tell me yours

*raises one leg up*, ol boy for dream abi for real?...After Pa Mandela...I shall be the next ICON to be celebrated!Prohpecy!!!

Nigerians,get ready. With ease of movement of "diplomatic passport holders",more of our taxes goes into SA real estates. And we on ground should prepare to pay more for rents and probable assets acquisition. Afterall, who would turn a blind eye to oil money.
Shame, but African leaders are simply selfishly pathetic.

[quote author=baby_123]What is the gain? To be free? Money? Property The guy looks poverty stricken. So... . Maybe she is just a psychopath? Because i dont understand the obsession with killing this guy. The woman needs mental help. Why not just divorce the man at the most so you can find a rich man[/quote]She had made 3 attempts.come on what else could be the motive behind the plots?definately not the excuses she gave.I suspect the man have a Life Insurance cover that runs into big numbers. Check most motives behind wives wanting their husband dead.It most often centers on the material assets and not necessarily because the man is having an affair outside or leaving her.She's got a damn evil heart I say.

Aunty nurse: My purse was stolen along Ogijo road & my nursing license was inside. If found, please let me know & if not found, how do I get a new one..

Sister.make your post known in the HEALTH section.There are many medical practioners there who may help out.

deeptesting: If you really do understand how much rich this country is, of course you will know it is capable of taking care of it's citizens irrespective of it's population if we put our human and natural resources into proper use as other nations that your Brothers are running to have done....We need a civil revolution in this country and if you happen to visit the West and you are forcefully repatriated,I am 90% sure you will be at forefront of the revolution because you will fully grasp the economics of waste that our past and present leaders have plunged us into and are not ready to change. [B] Hope you know the population of China? But I don't see it's citizens running to every nook and cranny in the world to seek greener pasture....[/B].

Brother,you are correct.

[quote author=mulan-kenyan]Kenya of all country is now Deporting Nigeria? Highest exporter of crude oil in Africa?
Giant of Africa, you ask?

And that is what makes us wonder...why can't nigeria put it's house in order. Look at Kenya...no natural resource to talk of, yet...but we showed the world how to kick Somali renegades in order (Operation Linda Inchi - translates to: Operation defend our Land of Kenya), a feat that had defeated AU and the West (read USA).

We have not oil...but invented M-PESA, that is why the IT world looks at Kenya and goes gaga...yes, in our huts, we invent such things.

In all honest, we are brothers and sisters...yes, we all Africans. But we have to correct each other. The number of Kenyan girls on death-rows all over Asia because of Nigerian-led drug errands is a factor that has bothered us. Yes, one apple spoiled all.

Chineducan not even say how he got all the millions he claims. There are Kenyans selling hair and doing all the things these deportees are doing...why are they not millionaires.

The deportees are not telling you the truth. Honest Nigerians are welcome anytime. I still love the literary giants out of Nigeria.

One love, one continent, Africa.[/quote]Your post is well received by me. Thanks for subtly putting it without provocative insults that turns forums for discussion like this is into hateful comments.

.Guys home and abroad,there we have it. It's unfortunate some honest working ones have been rubbished by this action of deportation of Nigerian citizen from kenya. We also need to understand Kenya as a sovereign state country have the power and right to welcome or expunge "aliens"from their territory.
Let's not start trading blames and going tribal. let us work on ourselves and our images.

Btw,I hope Nigerian govt. officials are reading this. Better still those at the National Assembly and The Office of the Presidency.If you don't value,provide and protect your own citizens,foreigners shouldn't be expected to do same to us.I wish us all well.

babyosisi: All you stingy men
How dare you call your wife a thief
U need to ask for forgiveness immediately


My husband was hiding his wallet and sometimes putting it under his pillow just because I was taking little chicken change from it for lunch
Nonsense !!
How can a woman steal from her own husband
Are we not joined in holy matrimony again?
In Igboland wives are lovingly called odoziaku which translates to mean " the one who arranges the wealth"
Your own is to bring in the money,allow me to arrange it na ,as expected
I pitied him sha one day long ago when we had no credit cards ,he came home ranting about how he was so embarrassed at the store When it was time to pay and he Opened his wallet and the cash was depleted
I said ewoooo, di m oma
I am so sorry
But did it stop me ?
Whosai
If a man has 5 $20 bills in the wallet I bought him for Christmas why can't a woman who bore him bouncing baby boys take one or two $20 as the spirit leads
I don't do it as much anymore
I now ask him first and if he says no i have no cash on me and I go to the wallet and see cash,he can't come back and claim that he had cash
Abi?
Love u boo

LOOOOL this is lady is hilariously crazy...ok let's turn the table,once you get paid and withdrew from ATM,your man must have unrestricted access to your bag.But don't come on NL to complain o...even if he's to spend it for' younger cuties outside ne'. Hahahahahahaha

I don't trust MTN for anything. Thanks to Globacom for breaking their stronghold on we consumers .
For me I stick with:Glo (our own),followed by etisalat and airtel...chikena.

[quote author=lola.luv]IMHO, it's a million times better than all the abortions you people do up and down.

Let him that is seksually pure and untouched cast the first stone. Hypocritical pretenders.

When it's time for premarital séx, you are quick to forget that our culture is against it. You indulge in it but are quick to judge others who are better than you because they chose not to abort.[/quote]And must all 'quickies' or 'lovers weekend' end up with pregnancies??



The issue here is not about the promiscous act but the status of women raising child(ren) without their father for reasons outside the demise of the man.

If the boy/man wouldn't want to be responsible,then why have a child for him and face the societal criticism?

Hi Tony,
Loyiso gola have been my favourite South African comedian,esp his LNN show on Etv. However,it seem the dude's different segment on his show is gradually loosing its flavours. Except for the muppet guy and the foreign correspondent comic act on his show, the rest are not as thrilling at it use to be.That white dude singing isn't funny to me at all. Wish him all the best but he is still my favourite amongst them all.

I thought to share this so we all could positively reason together how BOTH parents are much needed in the lives of their child(ren).Happpy reading.