₦airaland Forum

KashyBaby:
My time is ticking..

what do u mean by ticking?

your time has past... sorry...

BoiledHead:
How would they know you are 30? Beside even if they know.. dem no fit force person. I am 49 and I'm single

because u have boiled the head u would have use in getting married...

rubbish...

hmmm... this story get as e be...

how recent was the chat u saw?

Suigeneris93:
They will close down this thread, you should have just called the mods if you wanted it to make FP

why did u say so?

Blade21:
hes a husband and a partner not her father nor her master the should dialogue it's not his decision to make let her agree

i forgot to also add partner...

MissCheesom:
I was serious about it...what were you expecting me to do? People said I should run now before its too late

damn!!! so because people said so, u decided to end it?

MissCheesom:
He actually said nothing about d breakup was just beating around the bush

what do u mean by beating abt the bush?
why are u trying so hard to paint this guy black?

MissCheesom:
I've ended the relationship

u weren't even serious abt the relationship...

MissCheesom:
Yeah... Everything is possible

Men are good at hiding secrets

yeah... but women are better at hiding secrets

when the strike wan start?

mizzochocinco:
The solution to every marital problem is getting a sexy houseboy.

what is it with u and sexy houseboy?
are u okay?

freakthingz:
Ah ah he forbids it as her master or her father

What is he feeling like...

My mother worked we all turned out fine with a good example of work ethic

He forbids it........no discussion, no give and take, no flexibility, part time nkor

the husband is both her father and her master..

dominique:
How did his parents offend him for him to be ignoring and disrespecting them? It's obvious that op's husband has anger and attitude issues yet you're trying to push the blame on her. It's always the woman's fault that's she's in a bad marriage even if she eventually dies in it, you lot still find a way to blame her. I tire o

lol...
u misconstrued my point.
if op's hubby was like this before marriage, am sure she wouldn't have married him.
something happened that is makng the man to act this way, that was what i wanted to find out, no one is blaming the woman for anything...

Onegai:
Well, first and foremost, take a deep breath. Then pray and ask God to give you strength.

Go buy a new sim, register it today.

Do you have a trusted friend or relative to stay with? Get one. Someone with space.

Start packing quietly, just clothes and the necessities for you and your kids. Anyone ask, mummy told you to visit (tell your mum the lie).

Ask immediately on any platform and from everyone is there is a place to rent. Small, 2 bedroom, around your office. Say it is for a cousin. If you can move back in with your mother, that will be best.

Inform some of your friends and one trusted person in position of authority (Nigerians like Pastors so tell yours). Do NOT let anyone convince you to stay. They will gossip but so what? Had gossip killed anyone? If they cannot say it to your face, who cares?

Once you get all these in order (I'm giving you a week to move out so Saturday your kids should be at your trusted friend's place), call a family meeting betweent your mum, his parents and do NOT let your husband know. Inform them that you're moving out for your safety and sanity. That you want to stay alive to raise your children. That when your husband comes to his senses, they can look for you. Do not let them convince you to stay. His parents will prioritise their son's welfare over your welfare. So do NOT allow them convince you to stay.

Leave immediately after that meeting and switch your sims. I don't want your husband knowing where you are for 3 weeks. He can speak to you on the phone (call him and let him greet his kids, politely say "please excuse me" and drop the phone if he starts insults and threats. Save any messages threatening you).

I'm asking you to do this because your husband is no longer a husband, no longer a father and no longer even a son. He has lost himself and doesn't even know it. And you cannot tell him and cannot save him. So prioritise your welfare and that of your kids. If and when he comes back to his senses, you have work to do on your marriage but he has even more work and forgiveness and trust to earn back.

instead of doing all these why not divorce him?

i know is a difficult decision, but then another man can come into the picture if she still want one.
what if the husband comes back to his senses and change's again? what will she do then?

i really dont support people doing things secretly..
if she is tired of the marriage, divorce the man and go your own way.

Cheund:
We courted for 3 months before marriage, just graduated and had no job. I got a job before him and few weeks into my job, he was called back were he served and has been there ever since. Initially, I thought he is behaving this way because I earn more than him,so I gave him access to my account via my atm card.

Like I wrote earlier, he looks calm and we have been into this for almost 7 yrs.
This attitude of his is becoming worrisome for me cos is affecting everything about me. I tried letting the pains pass by but lately, it's not been easy.

Happiness inspires me and I tried making my home as happy and beautiful as much as I can. I have my flaws of course as a human.

I just served him breakfast whole heartedly but honestly my mouth is like sealed and my mind is busy thinking out how to go about all these.

My calmness seems to douse the situation as he is busy chatting and laughing with his mum. Note: I have never heard any problem with his mum even though we are not very close but we have a very warm relationship.

u sound really cool...
it means u saw those trait during courtship and still went ahead?
my worry is, human hardly change, his attitude wasnt because of your earnings, i think that is the way he is. but are u sure u didnt contribute to it one way or the other?
because am sure though he had issues during courtship, but he wasnt like this.
do u normally disrespect and mock him because u earn more than him?

Cheund:
All comments and views are highly appreciated. He just came back now, and his mum opened the house for him. I am speechless and with no strength to confront him after reading your comments.
His mother came in asking me to forgive him. What should I do or shouldn't do. I have been doing my best to keep my home and honestly, I am about giving up hope.
How long will this continues? I am bearing all these because of my children, my mum and younger ones and my place of work. They look up to and expect much from me. What should i do or shouldn't I do?

I am gradually getting frustrated and losing focus and inspiration from my around me. I will be 32 by late this year, with a promising career and viable business I do from the comfort of my home just to augment govt salary.

I need stability mentally and emotionally and my hubby is threatening all these by his attitude.

I am thinking about quitting the marriage but don't know if it's right at this time and I am also scared about the other phase of life.

what actually happened?
it is obvious there is something u are not telling us, because u women know how to lie very well.
was he like this before u both got married? what happened?

ivyT:
End the damb union, but don't kill your wife, go into hiding then show urself days later to justify yourself

yeah... i think we are both saying the same thing...

realdee44:
Just like you said God should destroy those who had their hands in the mass failure & their relatives, maybe He is also destroying you for what one of your relative did in the past.

hmmm...

omauchay:
yes...johnson...there is .to a reasonable extent..

how? because i strongly believe parents can't change or determine the child's temperamental style.

fancyupage:
The article was meant to focus on a particular topic, on the less protected in our society. When I said men should respect their wives to earn it, what is lopsided in that? It means respect is reciprocal.

@bold so who are the less protected if i may ask?

whitebeard:
how long does it last on battery..I want stuff of at least 12hrs

the ones i have seen usually dont last long...like 4hrs..

fancyupage:
If someone did not state something, don't make it up for him or her.

i'm not trying to make up anything for u.
the article presents a somewhat lopsided view of respect... just trying to point it out.

cococandy:
Good for him.

why not wait for him to be convicted before wishing him evil?

all these men who condone shiiit just to keep their marriage.... this is the end result...

the moment u discover your wife is cheating, end the damn union...

fancyupage:
Don't jump into conclusion, I never said women should disrespect their husbands, you said it. I was very clear, respect is reciprocal.

but u never stated it....

halfricanadian:
Dunno for u o bt all am saying is submissiveness is mainly for husband not just every man

Not every man worth a woman's submissiveness

no need to even debate this further... after all, u women aren't even submissive to your husband...

so what are we talking about....

Sugarhugs:
ashawo na work

yeah... one of the oldest profession....

halfricanadian:
Criosly read again

read what again?

is the word WIFE an appellative for a man?

halfricanadian:
Nah we are in Gods world not mans world

The men mistook the verse where God said wives shd b submissive to their husbands

It never stated every woman shd b submissive to every man dats why dey percieve women as weak vessels they really mistook nd misunderstood dat verse in d bible

am afraid u are the one misunderstanding the bible...

which wan be woman? is the word 'wife' an appellation for man?

Is there really anything parent can do about a child's temperament? it seem more of natural thing...

what was the cause of your seperation?
because i see no reason from your write up why u shouldn't support him.

hubby not sending u cards and bday gifts may be as a result of over familiarity, that is really nothing to worry about, u are a women though, that make u see things differently...